by Tina Beckett
“Oh, Luca. I feel the same way. If we’d never gotten together...never had that fight in my office...she wouldn’t be here.”
His fingers touched her face. “We built our own fort and hid away in it for a while, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did.”
Dark eyes stared into hers. “Is it completely gone?”
She could lie. Or she could tell the truth.
Hadn’t they agreed not to lie to each other?
“No,” she whispered. “It’s not.”
He exhaled heavily. “I so needed to hear that.” His palms skimmed her jawline. “Because I don’t think it is either.”
Then his mouth was on hers in a kiss that tested the whole scorched-earth theory, because it was still as beautiful and wild as those flowers they’d passed on their way here.
He stood and held his hand out to her, and there was no hesitation when she answered his invitation. Two minutes later they were in her room in that big bed, where he undressed her. Slowly. Carefully.
So different from the car experience, where things had been removed in frantic haste, but this was no less fulfilling. They explored each other, relearning curves and planes, seeking out subtle changes that had taken place over those lost months. He found her scar, but even as she stiffened, he shushed her.
“It’s beautiful. This is where my Anna came into the world.”
He made her feel cherished and cared about. And maybe even...loved?
Did he love her?
She swallowed. Did he?
Ask. Do it.
She couldn’t make the words form on her lips, so she decided to show him instead, in the hope that he would whisper the words she longed to hear.
Instead, he climbed off the bed and pulled his wallet from his trousers and laid it on the bed. She closed her eyes, knowing exactly what that represented.
It didn’t matter. She could tell him later. Once she knew for sure how he felt. Maybe he wouldn’t need more kids. Maybe he’d be okay with just one. Just their Anna.
He went into the attached bathroom and when he returned he didn’t have a stitch of clothes on. But he did have a small towel.
The question was almost lost when he climbed on the bed and straddled her. Then she found it. “What is the towel for?”
“I’m glad you asked.” His smile was wicked. “Because I’m about to show you.”
He draped the towel over her chest, covering both breasts. At first she thought he was worried about her modesty, until he gripped either end of the towel and slowly drew it back and forth over her. The thick terry teased the nipples underneath, creating a kaleidoscope of sensation that soon had her writhing on the bed.
“Ah... Luca, I’m not sure...” The words ended on a moan when he increased the downward pressure as he continued to seesaw the towel, over her, driving her wild.
Her hips bucked under him, but his weight on her upper thighs kept her from getting any kind of satisfaction. He leaned down next to her ear. “Ti voglio così tanto bene.”
Was he saying he loved her?
Didn’t know. Didn’t care.
The towel stopped, making her eyes open.
“Don’t worry, Ellie. I’m not done yet. Not by a long shot.”
Picking up his wallet, he opened it, started to draw out a condom.
She stopped him with a hand on his. “We don’t need one.”
That was as close as she could get to the truth. She could explain it all later, but right now she just wanted to feel him. All of him.
“Dio. Cara. Yes. I want that too. You don’t know how much.” He leaned down and took her mouth in a kiss that sent pretty little lights spinning behind her eyes.
Then the weight came off her thighs, freeing her for a second or two, before he gripped her hips and turned them so that she was where he had been. On top. Positioned in the perfect spot.
She went still for several seconds, poised on the very edge of heaven and not quite sure how she’d gotten there, or what she’d done to deserve it.
“Do it.” His hands tightened on her hips, but he didn’t try to yank her down. “Please.”
Instead of taking him in a hurry, she eased down, feeling each silky inch of him as she took him in.
He muttered those words that meant nothing and yet told her everything she wanted to hear as she rocked her hips, retracing her path up and then sliding back to the bottom.
There was something unhurried and yet desperately rushed in her movements, and she couldn’t quite choose one or the other. Until one hand covered her breast and the other tangled in her hair, pulling her toward his mouth. The combination of the friction of his palm and his tongue over hers made the decision for her. Her movements quickened, and she suddenly didn’t care about anything other than how he was making her feel.
Up and down. Empty and full. She couldn’t get enough. And when his fingers slid out of her hair and worked their magic elsewhere, she lost it, pushing down hard and then pumping to an internal rhythm. She climaxed, crying out against his mouth, even as he flipped her onto her back and drove into her again and again until he lost himself inside her.
There were several moments when she felt suspended in space. Untethered. Floating free.
Loved.
He hadn’t questioned her decision about the condom. Had seemed to embrace it.
That had to mean something. Didn’t it?
A single worry reappeared, joined by a second. Then a third.
She opened her eyes to find him watching her. She searched for something to say. “How long before your mom gets back?”
Groaning, he kissed her cheek. “I have no idea, but...”
She laughed. “You don’t want to be caught necking in the back seat?”
“But we’re not in a back seat. We’re in bed.”
God, she loved him. Loved these little differences that gave their world color and dimension. “It means we don’t want to be caught together. In bed.”
His nose nuzzled her ear. “I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t want you to go either. But eventually someone is going to come looking for us. And when they do, I’d rather be fully clothed. And in our separate rooms.”
He rolled off her, drawing her into his arms. “Okay. I’ll go. But only because I don’t want Mamma’s party guests to go home with any salacious tales.”
“Salacious?” That was suddenly her new favorite word.
“Yes. Of what we were making in this room.” He got out of bed and leaned over her. “And just so you know, I do want more.”
And then he was gone, leaving her with a tingle in her belly that wouldn’t quit.
He wanted more.
Just the thought made her want to go find him and snatch him back to the room or to their fort or whatever they wanted to call it. As long as they were together.
With a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time—one that was different from the day-to-day happiness that Anna gave her—she got up to shower and dress for the party.
CHAPTER TWELVE
HE HELD HER hand for most of the evening, trying to give her a boost of confidence while people spoke Italian all around them. Although he wasn’t sure if the hand holding was for her...or for him. Those moments in the bedroom had been beyond anything he could have imagined, and they hadn’t had a chance to talk about it.
She hadn’t wanted to use a condom. Surely that meant she wanted a fresh start together? And more children. He’d made sure she knew he was in favor of that by whispering that he too wanted more.
She loved him, he was sure of it. Even if she hadn’t said the words.
Then again, neither had he. But he would. Very soon.
He expected his mother to say something about all of this hand-holding, but she seemed oblivious. Everyone’s attention was riveted on Annalis
a, who was taking everything in her stride much better than she should have as she was passed from person to person.
“Are you okay?” Hell, he hoped he wasn’t just imagining things.
She turned to him with a smile. “I am. For the first time in over a year.” She nodded toward Anna. “She looks adorable in that dress your mom found.”
“She has a knack for finding the perfect gift.”
Anna was wearing a mint-green dress, complete with tulle around the full skirt and a satin bodice. She looked like a princess from a movie. She even had a tiny glittering tiara perched on her head. Luca had no idea how they’d kept her from knocking it off. But she hadn’t. She was smiling and cooing and generally being the most beautiful thing he could imagine.
Other than Elyse.
While she wasn’t wearing mint green to match her daughter, she did have on a black dress that ended just above the knee, her shoulders bare and tempting, her hair swept up into some kind of fancy knot with strands that wound their way down the sides of her face and tickled her nape. And she had on these high heels that made him think of things that were better off left unthought.
“Oh, I almost forgot! I brought that wine for your mom. We were going to get the flowers here, remember?”
“We can do that first thing tomorrow morning.”
She licked her lips. “So your mom would definitely be scandalized if we shared a room?”
Two days ago he wouldn’t have been able to envision a scenario where that kind of a question would come up. Or even thought. But he liked it...wanted things to keep moving in this direction.
“Ellie, I’m surprised at you.” He gave her a grin. “In the best possible way. But yes. She probably would, although if I happen to have a nightmare involving the two of us kissing, and sneak into your room for comfort...”
She giggled. “A nightmare? Really? Should I be insulted?”
“Perhaps nightmare was a poor choice of word.”
“I should think so.” But she said it with a smile. And Elyse seemed...happy. He couldn’t remember seeing her this way since...well, when there had still been some good in their relationship.
Her eyes trailed their daughter as she was handed over to yet another family member.
“Do you want me to bring her to you?”
“No, she looks happy.”
“And how about you?”
Her brows went up and she leaned her head on his shoulder for a second. “What do you think?”
He noticed his mother was finally staring at them, and he had a fleeting thought that maybe they shouldn’t be putting on a display of affection in front of everyone until they worked out the rest of their differences, but he wasn’t about to push her away.
It was okay. Elyse was relaxed, and if she didn’t care about his mother mentally putting rings on their fingers, then he shouldn’t worry about it either. But he did have second thoughts about sneaking to her room tonight. If he was serious about doing this thing, then he wanted to do it right, not rush her into anything. His own prideful determination had messed up their relationship once before. He wasn’t about to let that happen again.
Hopefully, if things went well, there would be many, many more moments like these. Slow, easy moments that led to something strong and lasting. And if it meant him moving back to America to get there, then so be it.
* * *
Elyse’s arm flapped around on the bed beside her for a minute. Empty. A flicker of disappointment was quickly extinguished.
So what if he hadn’t come to her room as he’d suggested he might? It had been a long evening. He had probably been exhausted. Just as she had been.
Cracking open her eyes and stretching, she couldn’t stop a smile from forming. She’d been hoping to talk to him about the reality of her situation and why they hadn’t needed to use that condom, something she hadn’t been able to say when they had been making love.
He cared about her. She’d felt it brewing under the surface yesterday. His words had seemed to confirm that fact, but she wanted him to go into this relationship—if he even wanted one—with his eyes wide open. This time there would be no holding back or letting things fester and foment.
He’d held her hand last night. In front of his mom, his relatives and everyone. That meant something.
She glanced at her watch. It was barely seven o’clock and it was their last full day here. Climbing out of bed, she jumped in the shower, lathering up in record time. Maybe she could still catch him and have that talk before breakfast, if he hadn’t already gone downstairs. Or maybe when they went to buy those flowers he’d talked about as a thank-you present for his mom for hosting her. There was still time. She was sure of it.
With her hair damp, and her face washed clean, she found the bottle of Chianti and dropped it into the red silk wine bag they’d bought to go with the flowers and put it on the mahogany dresser. She ran her fingers over the ornate lines that looked so at home in this room. Her glance snagged on the crib, where Annalisa was still fast asleep. Last night had worn her out. Her daughter didn’t normally stay awake that late, but it had been a special night, and she’d fallen asleep in her grandmother’s arms, bringing a lump to Elyse’s throat and an ache to her heart. Suddenly a week with them seemed like no time at all.
You need to find Luca. Maybe you can work something out.
She went across the hall and softly tapped on his door, hoping that if the rest of the household was still asleep she wouldn’t wake them. When there was no answer, she knocked a little louder. “Luca?”
Still no answer. She pursed her lips to the side. He could be in the shower. Or he could already be downstairs. She went back over and peeked in her room. Anna was still out. She’d nursed right before going to bed last night, so she could zip downstairs, find Luca and ask him if they could talk.
Tiptoeing down the treads, she stopped when she heard voices coming from the kitchen. One of them was Luca’s. He was talking to a woman and sounded...concerned. Or something. Since he was speaking in rapid Italian she wasn’t sure if she was reading him right. She started to turn and go back up the stairs but then the housekeeper appeared in the doorway and smiled at her, motioning her forward.
Ugh. But she was going to have to face him sometime. Except all the hopeful thoughts she’d had moments earlier were now faltering. Who was he talking to?
She forced herself to breeze through the door with a smile, hoping it didn’t look like she’d been skulking in the doorway. Luca and his mother saw her at the same time, and the conversation immediately went silent.
They’d been talking about her. She swallowed. Maybe his mother had seen them last night and decided she didn’t want her son taking up with someone from a different culture.
No. Things like that didn’t happen anymore, did they?
She forced herself to speak, even though her throat felt packed with sawdust. “Good morning. How is everyone?”
Luca came over to her with a smile, throwing another glance toward his mom. He gave a quick shake of his head.
He didn’t want her telling Elyse what they’d been discussing.
The sawdust turned to glass. Was it about Annalisa? Were they plotting how they were going to get her to spend more time in Italy?
You’re being ridiculous. And paranoid.
His mom came over and took her hands, holding them up and kissing one. She winked at her son then turned her attention back to Elyse.
“Mamma...” Luca’s voice was full of warning.
“Pssht.”
Her response made Elyse’s eyebrows go up. When they came back down they were contracted into a frown. “What’s going on?”
Priscilla gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “You give Luca more babies?”
Babies?
The pain that stabbed her insides was sudden and intense, like the scars from he
r surgery when they had been new and raw. “Wh-what?”
Suddenly Luca’s words from last night took on a whole new meaning.
Just so you know, I do want more.
Was that what he’d meant? He hadn’t just been talking about making love?
God. Hadn’t he mentioned changing his mind about having children? She could have sworn the word “maybe” had been in there, though.
Had he talked to his mother about it before discussing it properly with her?
Luca came over and touched his mom’s arm, saying something that made her let go of Elyse’s hands and turn toward him. “She love...” the woman tilted her head as if trying to find the right words. “She love you.”
His mom’s gaze swung back to her.
She expected Elyse to respond? What could she say, when this went to the very heart of her fears?
Of course Luca would want more children. And she’d fostered that expectation by saying they didn’t need to use a condom. No wonder he’d seemed so happy about it. He’d thought they were on the same page.
Oh, how wrong he was.
He and his mom had been talking about children and families. And they had left her completely out of the conversation.
What would happen if he knew she couldn’t have any more?
That wasn’t something she was going to discuss in front of anyone else. And suddenly she didn’t want to discuss it with Luca either. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Hurt and regret streamed through her system. If he hadn’t left and had been beside her during her pregnancy, he would have known exactly what she’d gone through. The heartbreak of finding out she could never have another child.
But he knew none of it. And she hadn’t told him when she’d had the chance, allowing things to become twisted beyond repair. Just like they had in Atlanta.
“Ellie, are you okay?”
The room was blinking in and out of focus, and she realized tears were very near. She could answer his mom’s questions truthfully, if she chose to: Yes, she loved her son. And, no, she wouldn’t be having any more of his babies.
