I wrinkled my nose, trying to understand. “Like a skill or something?”
He bobbed his head side to side. “It’s difficult to describe. It’s not as though we can feel each other all the time, but it allows us to always know the other is pack. It changes our scent, shifts our identity. As you befriend us, or begin romantic relationships, that pack bond grows and binds us.”
“Okay, so I’m not connected? Is that because I’m human?”
“I have no idea. Sometimes it means someone isn’t suitable for the pack if they never manage to join the bond. Other times, the bond just takes longer to form. Since we’ve never tried to add a human to the pack, I can’t say for sure if that’s the reason.”
“Why does it matter?”
“We’re pack animals, Pixie.” He sighed, settling himself into the chair next to my vanity. “Knowing exactly who our pack is means everything to us.” He hesitated. “It’s one of the reasons I’ve held off on forming a connection with you. Pixie, that bond isn’t just temporary. If you joined our pack bond, fully became one of us, and then walked away once you turned eighteen, it would be devastating to the pack. It’s one of the reasons you scare them.”
“But… why would it be devastating? I mean, wouldn’t they just be glad to get rid of me?”
“If you were to walk away from that bond it would hurt us.”
“Change hurts every—”
Alarick held up a hand, silencing me. “I don’t mean we’d miss you. I mean it would cause us severe physical and mental pain.”
“You mean, actual pain?”
“Migraines. Joint pain. Nausea.” He shrugged. “The list goes on and on.”
“I don’t understand. I mean, you have wolves here from other packs.”
“They didn’t actually leave their packs, they’re merely visiting. They go home frequently, on weekends and breaks, to keep their connection strong. They also came in groups, keeping the pack bond with each other solid,” he explained softly. “Even our packmates who go to work in Washington or other states, performing actions to keep us hidden, always have to have at least one other pack member with them and must frequently visit. Otherwise, pain begins to radiate through all of us, and if strong enough, it can physically or mentally disable us.”
I chewed on my lip, trying to think. “I didn’t know about any of this. Werewolves, I get, it’s something that’s been speculated about for centuries. But this?” Alarick stayed quiet, letting me process. “So, you’re saying that if I manage to make friends with Shannon or Chann or anyone, or if I started dating someone, the bond could begin to form, and if that happened, I’d potentially end up hurting them?”
He nodded to confirm my statement. “Yes. I don’t know for sure if the bond will form, but it’s what most of us fear. That we’d welcome you, bond with you, and then you’d leave. You have no lasting connections here, and as far as I know your plans for the future don’t include staying within our pack.” He arched a brow at me, and I could only wordlessly shake my head.
“Alarick, I have no idea what my future holds. I never thought staying in the pack past my graduation was an option. I mean, when your father and I talked about me being here, it was in regard to school—not, well, forever.”
“He didn’t want to burden you with this.” He rubbed at his temple as though he was easing a headache. “He wanted you to try and make friends, to take a chance on forming the bond. He thought that if you came to care for people over time, that when he made the offer in the future, you’d be happy to stay. Once Rhiannon attacked you, though, he worried you’d pull away.”
My ears were ringing, my own head pounding as I tried to take this in. “So, you really don’t hate me? You just think I’ll hurt your pack?”
“How could I hate you?” His mouth quirked up in a sly smile. “You did save my life, after all.”
I stared at him for a moment, taking in the warmth he radiated and the gorgeous blue of his eyes, and my laughter slipped free. “This is impossible,” I stated as I gasped, trying to calm down. “Absolutely impossible. I sometimes wonder if I’m trapped in a fever dream or a coma or something ridiculous like that.”
“Understandable. I’m sure I’d be just as shocked being thrown into the human world.” He pushed to his feet. “My friends like you, Pixie. I don’t want them to keep holding back. I do think you could enjoy their friendship. If you’re willing.”
I hesitated for a moment, chewing on the inside of my cheek. It hadn’t escaped my notice that he’d mentioned his friends, not himself. “What if the bond forms?”
“What if it doesn’t?” he challenged. “Does that mean you’re going to leave them? Forget about them? Pretend you never met them?”
“Of course not!”
“Then it shouldn’t be a problem. We can figure out the details in time. For now, though, I’d say just focus on getting to know each other. If the bond forms, we’ll talk about it then.”
I nodded, hopping up to open the door for him.
“I’ll be back in a minute. Take the time to shower and we can go for a run. You kind of stink, human.” His laugh echoed around me, even through the door I slammed in his face.
Chapter Nineteen
“Are you excited for your first holiday with us?” Shannon asked, bouncing on her toes as I adjusted my freshly donned uniform. An air of excitement had permeated the campus over the last few days. It seemed the holiday was something that all packs, not just Lupine Hollow, celebrated. Even Ms. Shaw had been less bitchy than usual, although she was still far from a ball of sunshine.
Unfortunately, her limited improvement in mood hadn’t been mimicked by my classmates. We had to take a detour to my room before lunch in order for me to change my uniform, since someone had spilled coffee down my back. Although Ms. Shaw had been right in front of me, she had conveniently ‘not seen’ which member of the giggle crowd behind me had been the instigator of the prank. A dark wave of amusement washed over me, and I was grateful I’d cut my hair before coming here, otherwise I was sure that at least one of them would have chopped my hair off by now.
“Definitely,” I lied. Thankfully Shannon was too focused on her excitement to notice my unease.
“It’s going to be so much fun!” She finger combed her hair away from her face, tying it back so it was out of her way. “Dinner will be served outside tonight, and it will be late so we can take advantage of the moonlight. Make sure you grab some snacks from the common room to tide you over,” she advised, as I pulled my books from my bag, placing them on my desk since I wouldn’t need them for Mr. Cole’s class this afternoon. I wished I could just change into my workout clothing, or at least comfortable leggings, but the dress code was too strict to permit that behavior, even on a holiday.
“I will,” I agreed, too distracted to focus on her excitement. I’d woken to find that a note had been pushed underneath my door, warning Lyle would be calling me this evening to check on my progress. I assumed Raff had been the one to take the message, but I wasn’t looking forward to the call.
“Hey, are you alright?” She turned from the mirror, resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder as she tucked the longer strands of my hair behind my ears. “Are you still having trouble with Ms. Shaw?”
“I’m just nervous.” I downplayed the worry and nerves I was feeling. I’d seen Rhiannon and her friends eyeing me for the last two days, and even some of the adult wolves were making appearances, mostly when I was going to lessons with Borris and Zelda. I knew they still didn’t approve of me being near the pups, though, honestly, that was one of the few highlights of my day. As much as I liked my new friends here, being hated by the majority of the pack and visiting wolves was beginning to wear on me. I hadn’t been popular before, but I’d always had my friends and my mom in the past, and no one had actively disliked me. “I’ve got all of those tests coming up from Shaw. I’ve never gone to a party like this before either.”
“It’ll be okay,” she soothed. “Everyone
is just going to hang out, have some fun, and celebrate the full moon. The Flower Moon is one of my favorites. It’s all about rebirth, renewal, and transformation. It’s extra strong this year as well because it’s a blue moon.”
I blinked at her, completely confused. “Like in the Pocahontas song?” I questioned blankly.
She giggled, shaking her head. “It’s an extra full moon in a season. It connects us to Selene more and gives us additional strength.”
“Huh.” I still wasn’t used to the religious aspect of the pack. It wasn’t anything I’d considered when I’d thought of werewolves.
“Come on. If I don’t get you to Mr. Cole on time, he’ll make me work out with you,” she teased. I rolled my eyes, but a smile tugged across my lips, and I followed her out and down the hallway.
“Time for yet another beating,” I muttered.
“He’s not really being too hard on you, is he?” She shot me a worried glance, her brow creasing as she studied me. “You’ve been so on edge lately.”
“I’ll be fine.” I tried giving her a smile, hoping it actually showed in my eyes.
She paused, holding on to my arm to stop me from passing her. “If you need to talk, Pixie, you know I’m here for you, right?” Her voice was soft, lines tight around her eyes as she studied me. “I mean, that’s what friends are for, aren’t they?” The quiet, curious way she said it had me scrutinizing her. While she spent a lot of time around Alarick, Chann, and Zev, I didn’t think I’d ever seen her with another female member of the pack.
“Of course we’re friends,” I promised, rubbing her arm. Trying not to be rude, I carefully inquired, “Are you close with any of the other pack members? I mean, we kind of created our own little group since Alarick, Chann, and Zev were dead set on protecting me. We kind of just hauled you in after us. I’d hate it if I was interfering in anything there.”
She snorted, a blush working over her cheeks as she fussed with her glasses. She studied me for a moment, chewing on her lip before she looked away. “A lot of wolves aren’t comfortable with lesbians.”
“Their loss.” I shook my head, scowling. “I can’t believe it bothers them.”
“Not all of them. Some of the unattached females think I’m hitting on them when I’m just being friendly.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not that I’d ever hit on Rhiannon. She’s not exactly my type.” I laughed at that as we started walking again. “It’s harder with a lot of the males, honestly. It’s one of the reasons Alarick’s so protective of me.”
“He seems to be protective a lot.”
“It’s part of him being in line for alpha. He’s very protective of any pack member really.”
“So why are the males a problem?” I asked, as we headed toward the first-floor room.
“Since I’m the most submissive of the pack, it can be really hard to tell them no. Especially when they think you’re just using it as an excuse. Or that you’re trying to steal their potential mates from them.”
Anger rushed through me and I was nearly shaking with it. “I can’t believe that’s an issue here too,” I growled. “I didn’t think there’d be the same problems among werewolves as there are among humans.”
She chuckled, though there was no humor in the sound. “That’s what they want you to think. You’ll see.” We paused in front of Mr. Cole’s classroom and she shifted back and forth, her eyes darting over my head before meeting mine again. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“Of course not!” I grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly between mine. “You’re sweet, funny, beautiful, caring… Why would it matter to me that you like girls?”
“Good.”
Wanting to comfort her and show her that I really had no issue with her sexual preferences, I leaned up on my tiptoes and brushed a kiss over her cheek, making heat rush to both of our faces. “You smell really good.” I hadn’t meant to say the words, and I cleared my throat as she stared at me. “I’ll, um, see you after class, okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” She pulled me into a tight hug before jogging away. Well, that had taken a turn I hadn’t expected. I was grateful she hadn’t asked about my own sexuality. While I hadn’t given much thought to dating a female before, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to the pretty wolf. Not to mention my attraction to all three of our friends.
“If you’re ready, Ms. Miller?” Mr. Cole’s dry voice quipped from behind me, and I sighed, wishing I could bang my head into the wall. Let’s add in my attraction to the stoic, built male behind me as well. Oh well. There wasn’t a wall handy, but I was sure he’d be able to distract me. I followed him into the room, letting the door close behind me with an echoing click.
After I changed, I joined Mr. Cole in the center of the room, used to our daily routine by this point. While exercising hadn’t exactly grown on me, I did love being able to watch him expertly perform the moves, showing off flashes of his tanned, muscular physique underneath that tight white t-shirt.
“You’ve done very well in the past few weeks. Been very dedicated. It makes me proud to see how much you’ve already improved with the effort you’re clearly putting in.”
Surprised, I ducked my head. “Thanks,” I murmured.
“Keeping with our bargain, I think you’re ready to try that bow. If you’re still interested, that is.” His lips quirked when my head shot up, my mouth falling open in shock. “I’ll take it that’s a yes then.” I nodded frantically, my heart beating in my chest. I’d never held a weapon of any type before and I had never expected to. Now that I had the opportunity—and I got school credit for it to boot—I wasn’t about to let it pass me by. “Stay here,” he ordered, striding across the room to pull items from one of the closets.
He removed a series of targets first, setting them up on the far side of the room, opposite the mirrors. A small table followed, and he placed that close to me before heading back for more equipment. The weaponry was kept locked away, and it took him a minute to input the required codes as he began to pull a selection of bows and arrows from the locker.
“There are different types of arrows as well as different types of bows. They each have a different weight and will fly in their own, individual ways. For now, we’ll start with the basics. If you show a talent, or a desire, for archery, we can move on from there.”
“Do I need one of those arm things?” I asked, curious, racking my brain for what I’d seen on television.
He smirked, giving me a look that nearly had me panting. “No. We won’t use a guard today. I’m just going to have you get used to the bow for now.” I nodded my agreement, as he brought the bows and arrows to the table he’d erected. He was careful to point the arrows away from me, sliding them to the far edge of the table so I didn’t risk bumping into them. I took the bow he offered, surprised at the weight. It wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t as light as I’d expected either. “You’ll hold it here,” he directed, moving behind me to adjust my grip. I tried to swallow around my suddenly dry mouth as the heat of his body washed over me. His fingers were sure and firm over mine, and I wished I could object when he released me with a nod.
“Thanks.”
“Now, you always want to make sure there’s no one in your way when you’re using a bow. Luckily, should a mistake happen, I’m available. However, I do suggest you try not to make a mistake. I wouldn’t be appreciative if you shot me.”
“Duly noted.”
“Nock the arrow and let the shaft rest on your hand. Good, just like that.” He stayed behind me, guiding my motions with ease. “Widen your stance a little. That’s it. Pull it back slightly.” He pulled my hands aside, humor lacing his voice as he added, “You don’t want to run into your chest.” I blushed, grateful I didn’t have to look at him in that moment. “Now, you’re going to draw the string back toward your ear. Don’t press it against your face,” he admonished quickly, and I let the tension on the string drop. “The feather fletching can cut you if you’re not careful.” There was an odd
idea. Who would have thought of feathers as a bladed instrument? “Breathe in deeply, draw the string back again, and hold it as you focus on your target. When you’re ready, I want you to release.”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and pulled back tightly as I reminded myself not to put it against my cheek. I focused on the targets in front of us, the small red circle in the middle reminding me of a glossy apple in a fairy tale. On my exhale, I released. The arrow flew forward rapidly, digging deeply into the pad of the target with a smack. Although it wasn’t near the center, I’d still managed to hit it and that was a win to me. “I did it,” I gasped, shock coursing through me as I looked back at the bow, then at the target again. “I really did it.”
“Very well, I might add. Not everyone will hit the target on their first shot. You see how your arrow veered to the side? You moved your bow as you released, angling the arrow and the shot. Let’s go again and try to keep your hand still. Your arrow will go where you aim it, you don’t need to move the bow and check. I promise it’ll still be there.” Amusement tinged his words as he walked me through the steps again and again.
Arrow after arrow thudded into the target, my aim improving with every shot. It looked almost as though I’d purposefully moved the arrows across the target, one after the next, as I marched to the center, before I ran out of ammunition. “Aw,” I complained.
“Grab your arrows. We’ll try again.”
“Really?” I could have hugged him in that moment. All the tension I’d been holding seemed to have drained out of me, fired away with every twang of the bow’s string. I scrambled for the target, tugging the arrows out one by one, careful not to stab myself. Surprisingly my arms twinged a bit, and I realized I was working muscles I wasn’t used to. Aiming, pulling, and releasing the bow hadn’t felt like work, but my body was already telling me a different story. Hopefully, Mr. Cole would be up for healing me again before the end of the session.
Flower Moon Rising (Lupine Hollow Academy Book 1) Page 16
