by Rolf De Heer
BAD BOY BUBBY
rooster aren’t you? What are you, one of them fucking greenies? Hey, come on, fuck off, or I’ll cut your prick off! You fucking idiot! Go on, get out of it!
The Treelopper starts the chainsaw and threatens Buhhy with it. Buhhy quickly grabs his suitcase and hacks off. The man begins to cut the tree down. Buhhy hacks off a few more paces. The tree crashes down. The tree topper gives Buhhy a wide, wide grin of victory. Buhhy grins hack.
Running along the footpath past the treelopper is a hoy of about three or four, followed ky his parents. Buhhy *s eyes nearly fall out of his head when he sees him. The hoy turns and runs hack around and between and around his parents. Buhhy sees the father looking at him. Buhhy points to the little hoy.
BUBBY: Little!
The father smiles uneasily. Buhhy starts to follow them, skipping and dancing like the little hoy. The family enter a kitchen showroom. Buhhy hesitates outside.
SCENE 67 INT. KITCHEN SHOWROOM - DAY
This is a top of the range showroom, a veritable cornucopia of high class, expensive, shiny kitchens set up on the polished showroom floor. mother and the father are carefully examining the kitchens, while the little hoy runs around opening and shutting cupboard doors.
Buhhy walks in and looks around. The salesman is anxiously watching the little hoy, wanting to stop him hut not wanting to upset his prospective customers. Buhhy walks over to the little hoy, who is in a different kitchen to his parents, and starts to imitate what he's doing. The hoy readily accepts Buhhy as a playmate. They're having a fine time.
Buhhy looks up and sees the father and the salesman approaching.
FATHER: [to the hoy'] Let’s get out of here.
The little hoy goes to his father, who whisks him away, looking suspiciously over his shoulder at Buhhy. The salesman goes up to Buhhy and gently hut firmly takes him by the arm.
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SALESMAN: If you’ll just come with me, sir, we don’t want any trouble now, do we? Come on, this way.
He leads Bubby to tbe door outside.
SCENE 68 EXT. FOOTPATH - DAY
Ejected from tbe kitchen shopy Bubby looks around. He sees a tied up dog further up the footpath.
He walks cautiously up to the dog, stands there and looks at it. The dog sniffs in the direction of Buhhy^s suitcase. Bubby pulls the suitcase away and hisses and spits at the dog like Kat. The dog immediately begins harking furiously, lunging and straining at its lead.
Buhhy jumps hack in fright and runs into the nearest doorway.
SCENE 69 INT. PRINTING SHOP - DAY
Buhhy hurriedly enters the printing shop to escape from the dog. He looks around at his new environment.
There is a reception/customer service bench to one side with a man adding up some accounts on a calculator, hut Buhhy is much more interested in the rhythmic sounds emanating from behind the partition. He walks towards the gap in the partition.
RECEPTIONIST: Yes mate, can I help you?
The phone rings.
[to thephone Er, printshop...
Buhhy glances at the man, harks at him like the dog and continues walking, through the entrance onto the printing shop floor.
Buhhy is struck by a symphony of sound, colour and movement as he wanders about the printing machines. The people manning the machines ignore him, concentrating on their tasks, almost as automatonic as their machines.
Buhhy stops amongst the machines, closes his eyes and listens. He finds himself suddenly jerked backwards as the receptionist and another man haul him out of the printing shop.
BAD BOY BUBBY
As Bubhy is being walked backwards through the reception areay he seeSy standing waiting^ the girl he*s previously noticed at the pizza joint. Bubhy tries to change his direction from backwards to forwards towards hery but this only causes the two men to be all the more determined to eject him quickly.
SCENE 70 EXT. FOOTPATH - DAY
On his bum on the footpathy Bubhy looks up at the receptionist in the doorway.
RECEPTIONIST: Get! If you try that again mate, Tm gonna call the cops!
He goes inside to attend to the girl. Bubhy gets up and peers through the windoWy pressing his face right up against ity distorting his nose and lips.
He watches the girl talk to the receptionisty handing him a folder. Both the girl and the receptionist occasionally glance at Bubhyy and at one point the receptionist gestures at Bubhy to get lost.
Bubhy doesn*t move. He has eyes only for the girly who is in her early twentieSy has the sweetest of sweet faces and who isy in a wordy fat. He watches her every move.
The girl looks with some concern at Bubbyy talks to the receptionist and gestures towards the back of the building questioningly. The receptionist agreeSy and the girl walks away from Bubhy into the printing shop and disappears.
Bubhy looks in the window of a pastry shop... cakes and pastries everywhere. He licks his lips.
SCENE 71 INT. PASTRY SHOP - DAY
Bubhy is standing behind a well-dressed woman of about 45 at the counter of the pastry shop. The woman is being served.
WOMAN: Two of those wonderfully fattening chocolate eclairs please Sam.
Sam puts two eclairs in a bagy hands them to the woman.
SAM: There we are, thanks.
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WOMAN: Thank you Sweetie.
Sam takes her money. The woman steps awajy leaving Buhhy facing Sam.
SAM: Yes}
BUBBY: [in woman's voice Two of those wonderiuWy fattening chocolate eclairs please Sam.
Sam gives Buhhy a dirty look. The woman turns and watches^ fascinated hy the replica of her inflection and voice. Sam puts the eclairs in the hag and holds it out to Buhhy.
SAM: Two dollars, thanks.
BUBBY: [in woman's voic^ Thank you Sweetie.
Buhhy starts to take the hag hut Sam pulls it hack.
SAM: No that’ll be two dollars thanks buddy.
Sam looks across to the woman and rolls his eyeSy then clicks his fingers with impatience at Buhhy. Buhhy starts to get confused and agitated.
BUBBY: [in woman's voice Two of those wonderfully fattening chocolate eclairs please Sam...
Sam stands there. The woman nods at him and reaches for her purse. Sam hands the hag to Buhhy.
Thank you Sweetie.
Sam gives Buhhy another dirty look as the woman hands him the money. Buhhy starts to eat one of the eclairs standing in front of the countery mumhling with enjoyment to himself.
WOMAN: Hmm. I think we’d better find out where you belong and take you back there.
The woman takes his elhow and guides him outside.
SCENE 72 EXT. CAR/STREETS - DAY
A wide-eyed Buhhy is being driven alongy the wind in his facey loving it. He looks out and ahouty goes to stand up hut the woman sits him down again.
BAD BOY BUBBY
Buhhy looks at the woman. She smiles at him. Buhhy smiles back.
Buhhy reaches across and squeezes one of her breasts. Her eyes on the roady she smiles again. Buhhy squeezes the other breast. She gently removes his hand.
WOMAN: Yes, I still look all right, don’t I?
A traffic policeman in the middle of the road holds his hand up for them to stop. The Mercedes slows to a halt.
Buhhy sees the policeman standing in the middle of the road with cars whizzing around him. Now being in a car himself Buhhy stands and yells at the policeman.
BUBBY: Get off the fucking road, ya fucking greenie bastard! Get off the fucking road, ya fucking greenie bastard!
The policeman stops directing trafficy walks towards them and looks aggressively at Buhhy. Buhhy hisses and spits at him like Kat. The policeman grabs Buhhy and pulls him bodily out of the car. He punches Buhhy in the guts.
POLICEMAN: I don’t like fucking smart cunts.
The policeman walks hack to his traffic duty. The woman in the car throws Buhhy's suitcase out and races off lea
ving Buhhy wondering whaTs happening.
There is a honk from a large old truck whose way Buhhy is blocking. Paul gets out of the truck and starts to help Buhhy up.
PAUL: I saw what that fucking pig did to you... do you want a lift?
Paul picks up Buhhy's suitcase.
SCENE 73 EXT. BACK OF THE TRUCK - DAY
The truck serves as transport for hand equipment and personnel. The truck is open with high sides and the hand members sit either on boxes or on the floory drinking beer.
There are five members of the hand... Pauly the lead singer/ guitaristy Stevey another guitaristy Big Greg the bass player and little Greg the drummer. Marky a long-haired loud little felloWy is the roadiey and is driving the van. The band members are laughing and clapping and urging Buhhy on.
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LITTLE GREG: A beer? There’s some down here.
STEVE: [05] I’ve got to stop drinking, I’ve got to get my life in order.
LITTLE GREG: [05] Who wants it?
BIG GREG: Bubby wants it. Bubby wants it.
BAND: [os] Bubby... Bubby... Bubby...
MIDDLE GREG: Rip the scab off that one mate.
STEVE: [05] We need more beer!
BUBBY: We need more beer!
STEVE: [os] Let’s give him a taste of what’s to come, eh?
BIG GREG: [05] Sure, a bit of rock ‘n roll?
STEVE: [os] Let’s do it.
PAUL: One, two, one, two, three...
TTjey sing the song, *If You See Kay which sounds like F.U.C.K. The hand members laugh and clap and slap their knees and think it's fantastic. Bubby thinks it's fantastic. When they get to the chorus they all join then fall about laughing at the end. Taking their cue^ Bubby falls about laughing too.
SCENE 74 EXT./INT. BACK ENTRANCEAHALL - NIGHT
Pauly Steve, Greg and Greg, carrying their guitars and beer cans, wander away from the van. Mark begins to unload.
MARK: Hey Bubby, give us a hand mate?
Bubby wanders over, still holding a can of beer. Bubby, holding his beer can and trying to swagger like the others, isn't sure how to manage. Going up the stairs backstage, they pass Steve.
BUBBY: Bubby is the apprentice roadie.
STEVE: That’s good Bubby.
They pass Paul.
BUBBY: Bubby is the apprentice roadie.
>►
PAUL: Yeah, just don’t drop the fucking speaker, okay?
BAD BOY BUBBY
Buhby looks at little Mark straining under the load.
BUBBY: Just don’t drop the fucking speaker, okay?
SCENE 75 INT. HALL - NIGHT
All the equipment is set up. The lighting seems to be ready and operating. Little Greg is asleep at his drumkity Big Greg and Steve are standing together talking. Paul is fiddling with his guitary and an occasional note or chord comes booming across the speakers.
Mark is on the doory with the money tin on a little table. Buhby is with himy wearing a vest with ^SECURITY' written on it. Other than thaty the hall is empty.
A young man comes hesitantly through the door. He approaches Mark.
CUSTOMER: Is this where the band is supposed to be?
MARK: Yeah.
CUSTOMER: Oh, right. What time are you starting?
MARK: About an hour and a half ago, but no-one’s turned up yet. [05] Want to come in? We’ll play.
CUSTOMER: [05] I... don’t think so. I was hoping there would be some girls.
MARK: [os] No girls mate, only music.
CUSTOMER: [os] Thanks anyway.
PAUL: [os] Who was that?
MARK: A neighbour, complaining about all the racket we were making.
PAUL: Oh very fucking funny mate.
MARK: It was a customer.
PAUL: Well where did he go?
MARK: How the fuck would I know? Down the road to see another band.
PAUL: And you just let him walk out?
MARK: What the fuck was I supposed to do, force him?
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PAUL: How the fuck are we going to pay for the hall if you let all the people walk out without paying! Jesus fucking Christ!
Paul walks off. Mark pulls a face at him. Buhhy does the same.
SCENE 76 INT. BAND’S HOUSE - NIGHT
The surroundings are somewhat less than salubriousy as befits a group of five nearly destitute failed rock musicians living in the one house. Buhhy fits in without any problems.
They're all sitting round a tahle^ drinking beer. Steve is listening to a portable CD player with headphones. Buhhy is playing with a lighting hoardy fading lights up and down.
There is a little money in the centre of the table. Little Greg adds to the collection with a couple of silver coins.
PAUL: Is that the lot? What about you, hold-out? Is that it? Try the other pocket mate, we saw you try that one before.
LITTLE GREG: Nothing.
BIG GREG & PAUL: Nothing.
PAUL: Never anything.
Paul turns to Buhhy.
[05] How about you? Got any money?
MARK: [05] Oh sure.
MIDDLE GREG: [05] Look at him.
BIG GREG: [05] Search him.
Buhhy looks confused.
PAUL: [05] Money! Do you have any money?
Buhhy thinks he understands. He replies as an angry Mom.
BUBBY: You greedy little cunt, I ain’t got enough money to keep buying you milk!
They laugh.
MIDDLE GREG: So take that mate!
*
PAUL: Well if that’s all there is, we’re stuffed.
BAD BOY BUBBY
MARK: Yep, we’re stuffed!
MIDDLE GREG: Stuffed.
BIG GREG: Christ...
PAUL: Yeah, hilarious.
BIG GREG: No money, no girls, it’s enough to make you puke. And where’s that fucking smell coming from?
MARK: [05] Your fucking feet.
MIDDLE GREG: [05] Fuck that fucking smell, what about the fucking money?
Bubhy continues to play with the lighting hoard.
BIG GREG: [05] Cut it out Bubhy! We’re in the middle of a crisis.
MIDDLE GREG: [os] Settle...
MARK: [05] It’s okay mate... stay calm.
All settle hack, despondent. Buhhy looks at the newspaper. There are two photos on the front.
BUBBY: [excited] That be Mom.
MARK: [05] What?
BUBBY: That be Pop! Them be Mom and Pop!
Paul takes the paper off him. The hand crowd around to look. The headline reads 'CLINGWRAP KILLER AT LARGE Under-neath the photos of Mom and Pop is the caption, 'Who are the victims^* The hand look up at Buhhy, who is smiling happily.
PAUL: Is that your mother?
BUBBY: Bubby Mom.
PAUL: And your father?
Buhhy chuckles like Pop.
MARK: What do you reckon?
PAUL: Oh Jesus Christ...
LITTLE GREG: No, it wouldn’t be him.
Steve gets up and goes to Buhhy *s suitcase.
MIDDLE GREG: Big shit.
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LITTLE GREG: It wouldn’t!
BIG GREG: It says there’s a reward... fifty thousand bucks!
Steve dumps the open case on the table.
STEVE: There’s your smell.
There is silence as they contemplate Kat in clingwrap.
BIG GREG: It is him... it has to be!
More silence.
LITTLE GREG: Fifty grand!
More silence.
PAUL: Oh fuck!
They look at each other.
STEVE: Oh he’s... he’s harmless.
MIDDLE GREG: [05] Tell that to the cat!
BIG GREG: He can stay in your bed tonight.
PAUL: Jesus Bubby, take that cat outside will you? Just take it outside for a while... we need to talk.
BIG GREG: Don’t go too far, okay?
BUBBY: Okay.
> MIDDLE GREG: Bring us back some money or something.
BUBBY: Okay!
SCENE 77 EXT./INT. SERVICE STATION - NIGHT
Bubby walks into an all-night self-serve petrol stationy carrying Kat. The cashier is counting the takings. He looks up as Bubby puts Kat on the counter. One breath and the cashier reels hack.
CASHIER: Jesus fucking Christ, get that fucking thing out of here, you mad bastard!
Quick as a flash Bubby grabs himy drags him over the counter and punches him in the guts.
BUBBY: [as Policeman'] I don’t like fucking smart cunts!
The cashier lies dazed as Bubby helps himself to the money.
BAD BOY BUBBY
SCENE 78 EXT./INT. STREET/TERRACE HOUSE - NIGHT
Buhby is walking down the street when he hears music. He enters a building and sees a young woman playing violin. She is playing the lead violin part of a concertoy while next to her a tape recorder is playing the orchestral parts. Buhhy is entranced. The woman smiles at him while playing. Buhhy walks slowly up to hery fixated. She continues to play. In the background a siren and blue flashing lights roar past the doorway.
The young woman finishes the piece and blows him a kiss.
SCENE 79 INT. BAND’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Buhby is pulling money out of his pockets and putting it on the table. It is piling up high. He can find no more.
BUBBY: Well if that’s all there is, we’re stuffed.
Two police sirens go past as the band stares at the money. Paul gets up and shuts the window.
PAUL: Fucking racket!
STEVE: [joking They’re probably after him.
They all start to talk and argue at once when they realise this is probably true.
BIG GREG: We’re gonna go to jail, I can feel it. We’re gonna go to jail!
PAUL: Bullshit! Bullshit! Shut up! Shut up!
Steve gets the headphones and starts to put them on Buhby.
STEVE: Listen to this while we discuss your future Bub.
Steve presses the start button of the CD player. The primally moving organ introduction to HandeTs Xerxes Largo fills Bubby^s heady completely shutting out the ensuing argument between the band members.
Buhby is spellbound by the musky while a vehement discussion about whether to dob him in takes place around him. There is much gesticulating, obvious shouting and pointing at the newspaper and the pile of money. Meanwhile the music soars above the argument.
