by Maya Daniels
I drop to my knees in front of her, staring up in shock. The two lions curiously come up and circle around inspecting me, shaking the big mane of hair around their heads and making sure whoever sees them remembers why they are called kings. I wonder if they’ll pounce any second. I watch their paws as big as my head get closer. Their yellow eyes look more human than animal and like they know a secret I don’t. I close my eyes when their heads start leaning towards me, only to feel them each put their chin on my shoulder as if approving me of being here. My eyes snap open. A hand with olive skin like mine comes out of the cloak and touches the top of my head. As she puts her hand on me, drums start beating in a rhythm that moves my body out of my control. She is talking, but I can’t hear her words because the drums get louder and a million voices start chanting with the beat while I’m swaying to the rhythm like a snake that comes out of a basket at the sight of a flute master. Heat starts rising up my spine, crawling up in a spiral like it’s wrapping itself around every vertebra. I feel boneless, the way my hips are swaying opposite my shoulders and back. My thighs start trembling, but there’s nothing I can do. I have no control of my body. The energy crawling up my spine reaches the top of my head towards the hand holding me like a master holding a puppet. As I feel it exit the top of my head and my body, an orgasm like nothing I have ever felt before shakes me so hard I think I’m having a seizure. My body doesn’t stop. It keeps undulating, moving and swaying to the rhythm of the drums and chanting. I feel my wetness run down my thighs all the way to my knees and down to the floor while the waves of pleasure keep going. If I ever thought my heart would stop from pleasure, I never thought it would feel like this. Ultimate bliss and never-ending ecstasy. I don’t know how long it lasted. I’m starting to think that time here is different than where I came from, because everything feels like a second or eternity, yet both are one and the same. The hand moves away from my head and everything stops. The drums and the chanting are gone, the orgasm is over, and I collapse in a heap at her feet. My pants are stuck to my thighs, my whole body is covered in sweat and my nipples could poke holes in the marble floor, but that doesn’t stop the slow, long moan escaping my lips. I should care that all these people witnessed this, but I feel so relaxed and whole for the first time in my life that I couldn’t care less. I look up at the priestess with heavy lids, thinking, “Who is this woman and what did she do to me?” I see the lions looking at me with interest and one comes and licks my face, nudging me with its huge head. All I can do is keep breathing. She reaches for me and I give her my hand so she can pull me up. I mean, what else is she going to do, give me another orgasm? I laugh at myself and hear her laughing too.
“It’s rude to pry into peoples’ thoughts without permission, you know.” I say this a lot louder than I intended, and my voice echoes through the temple.
The collective sharp intake of breath tells me I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Like that’s something new. She laughs again next to me and the sound of her voice makes me want to rub myself on her like a cat in heat. Yes, there is definitely something wrong with me. “It’s not just you, love, don’t fret,” she says, and I lower my eyes in embarrassment.
She turns towards the crowd and I follow her with my eyes, only to see all the cloaks are off now and I’m staring at a sea of women in all shapes, sizes, and colors dressed the same as me, only they are all wearing black.
Well, I guess I was the entertainment, I think grimly. No wonder Remi made me wear this color. She wanted me to separate myself from the women here.
“That’s enough!” The priestess’s voice snaps like a whip. There is no trace of the humor or amusement there and I straighten up like a soldier at boot camp. I don’t think she appreciated my last comment, even if it was only in my head. She addresses the sea of women that are all looking at me wide-eyed.
“It has been a very long time, millennia, that they have made us bow our backs, bend our knees to them and submit!” She spits the last word like something vile.
“In that time, we were their punching bags, their whores, undeserving creatures that were left at their mercy, only so they could keep us scared and under their control. They succeeded, for millennia they did. They turned sister against sister, and we let them. No more!”
Her voice echoes and bounces off the walls and all of us are hanging on her every word. It seeps through our flesh like healing balm, washing away every feeling of unworthiness, guilt, pain and suffering from many lifetimes over.
“You stand witness. I have had enough. You all stand as witness. I am taking back what they took from us. You stand witness to the rebirth of the Divine Feminine! You stand witness to my vessel!”
She says the last word facing me and the excitement in the temple is so palpable, you can physically touch it. That’s how it feels. Then it hits me, “Wait, what?” But it’s too late for me. I knew this, I felt it before I even entered the temple. She throws her cloak off and I stare at her. It’s like staring at a mirror. I am her and she is me. I don’t even know if I am me or her, or the other way around, but as I look at her eyes, the billions of years she has lived are seen there, the birth of worlds and civilizations made and destroyed. She has seen it all. She has lived it all. The pain is there, the suffering of every single one of us, she carries it in her like it is her own, and it is her own because vessel or not, she lives in every single one of us. I drop to my knees in front of her, placing my hands and forehead on her feet while all I can hear is the reverent whispers of the women in the temple who are kneeling again, too. “Mother of Heaven, Inanna, the Goddess...” I lean on her feet while tears run down my face and I repeat, “Mother, Mother, Mother....”
“Stand! You don’t need to kneel to me anymore, Alexia,” she says, and I look at her.
She is blurry from the tears still soaking my cheeks, but I do as she says. I stand up and she looks at me curiously.
“Have you spoken to anyone else but your sisters here?”
I open my mouth to tell her I haven’t with anyone else but Remi, and then I remember. But was that real, or are the visions I used to have as a child coming back? I can’t be certain, so I shut my mouth and I’m looking at her. She places her hand on my forehead and I close my eyes. She starts laughing softly, and, just so only I can hear her, says, “I see my sister beat me to the gift bearing.” The shock on my face must have been obvious because now she laughs harder.
“Venus never was one with great patience, I assure you. Come, we need to finish this. There is much to be done. I have changed the rules of the game by pulling you here like this, but I have been patient enough. Every time you are reincarnated, they find a way to get to you before I do. Well, not anymore, they are not.” She takes me to the altar and points for me to get on it. I look at it warily like it’ll bite me if I touch it.
“Come now, love, you are very important to me. Do you think I would hurt you in any way? You are my child. I only wish to protect you.”
I look in her eyes and see the love she has for me. They are not like the eyes of Venus; they have love in them, yes, but there is so much more. There is the strength of a warrior mixed with something primal, something wild. Chills cover my body as we silently look at each other. I move a step and jump onto the altar.
“Lay down, it’ll be easier. You might get dizzy if you’re sitting,” she says as she taps the cold slab of marble.
I lie down as she asks and she starts chanting while the beat of the drums return. I’m hoping it’s not another orgasm, although...My thoughts trail off as she places her hands, one on my stomach and one on my heart. I get flooded with all the years of her existence. Battle training, pleasure training, languages, history, geography, astronomy and astrology. The information floods into my mind like I have spent lifetimes learning and practicing it and my head starts spinning. Black spots show in my vision and I’m starting to feel sick. I want to tell her to stop, that I don’t feel well, but I’m paralyzed. All I can do is look at her serene face with her eyes
closed, chanting on top of me, and tears start running down my face. The darkness is trying to swallow me but before it has a chance, she opens her eyes and looks straight into mine.
“Be sure you make us both proud, love, I am always with you, remember that.”
As she speaks her last word, she smiles and it feels like the sun is shining on me, but the darkness wins and I let it carry me to oblivion.
3
“Nurse, get someone! She’s waking up!”
A familiar voice rings in my head. Constant beeping is waking me from my sleep. It’s faint at first but it slowly gets louder, and I want to cover my ears but I can’t move my arms. I try to open my eyes, but I shut them quickly because it’s so bright it’s like I’m staring at the sun. My mouth feels dry and when I want to say a word, all that comes out is a gurgle. Trying to remember why I feel like I’ve drunk an entire barrel of wine and sung karaoke all night doesn’t tell me what I need to know. I’m coming up blank. The beeping continues and I moan from the stabbing pain it causes.
“Quick, get the doctor!”
Faintly, I can hear someone talking and I stop struggling to move my arms. Where on Earth am I? Squinting, I’m trying to see at least something, but I can’t. It’s too bright and it makes me want to vomit. Cold hands are trying to open my eyelids, and as the person pulls it up, another stabbing pain hits me. I open my mouth to scream but only a gurgle comes out again, and it hurts like a bitch.
“Oh, she’s awake. Quick, we need to get her off the life support!” There is urgency in the voice.
Many hands are moving me onto my side, pulling wires, tubes and who knows what else off me and I can’t do anything but observe. They remove the tube from my mouth—no wonder I couldn’t talk—and I take a long deep breath like I’ve been underwater for too long.
“Turn the lights off, it’s too bright!” I rasp out and a second later, wonderful shade comes over my face. I squint at the faces peering at me from above.
“How are you feeling, Ms. Semiramis? Can you see me well? Can you hear me?” asks someone that I assume is the doctor.
“Yes, I see and hear you perfectly fine, and as for how I feel...I feel like I’m two seconds from dying. Everything hurts, and I can’t move my arms or legs.”
“You were not far from death, to be honest, and I can’t believe we’re actually having a conversation,” he replies while checking my vitals.
“You flat-lined twice in the last 24 hours.” Now he has my full attention.
“What do you mean, 24 hours? I’ve been here for an entire day?” He stops what he is doing and looks at me with concern.
“Do you remember what happened? How you ended up here?”
“Not really, no. But you didn’t answer my question. Have I been here an entire day?”
“Ms. Semiramis, you’ve been here an entire week.”
He says it like he’s talking to a child. My mind is spinning. A week!
How in the world did I end up here? I had a nightmare that woke me up and then I went to work. Lidia was her usual sunny personality. Philip...at his name, the entire day ending with the car accident comes back to me.
“Where is the man I was with, is he okay? Is he alive?”
“Yes, Mr. Stamelos is okay. Quite lucky, actually. He only had a few bruises and a concussion. The paramedics said you covered his body with your own, so you took most of the beating when the car flipped over from the impact. He is very grateful, hasn’t left your side for longer than 10 or 15 minutes, and even then only when we force him to eat or take a shower,” says the doctor.
At his words, like the doctor has summoned him, Philip walks in and I can’t help but stare. He looks like he’s aged ten years. His clean-shaven face is covered with a beard and he looks like he hasn’t slept for ages. When I look in his eyes, I can see he’s fighting tears, but he looks down quickly and I can’t see anything else. While the doctor and nurses are making sure everything is okay, taking away the machines and other things, he sits and waits quietly on the chair in the corner of the room, and since I can’t do anything else, I observe him. He gives me quick glances but otherwise looks at his hands in his lap.
“I’ll be back to check on you shortly,” says the doctor, and we still sit there. Only this time, we’re looking at each other without a word.
“Are you okay?” I ask, and he shakes his head with a humorless laugh.
“You saved my life and almost died. Actually you did die, many times over this past week. I watched all of it, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” he stares at me with such anguish that I feel I might start crying.
“We’re both alive, aren’t we? So everything is good, right?” I try to make light of the situation.
“No, Al, everything is not good. You know, I’ve been replaying the scenario in my head all week about what I would say when you woke up. How I’d express my gratitude for what you did, but now...Now I don’t know what to say, there’s nothing that will tell you how I feel...” his words trail off like he’s talking to himself, not me.
“Well, you’re welcome. You would’ve done the same, I’m sure. It’s what people do,” I say, matter–of-factly. Then he laughs, and I gape at him.
“No, actually, I wouldn’t have done the same, Al. That’s the problem. I’ve been a selfish bastard my whole life. I would’ve made sure I was okay and not you, to be honest.”
He grips the sides of the chair he’s sitting on as if he were bracing for impact. I’m tired and sore and have no desire to argue, so I just shake my head at him sadly.
“Well, I’m not you. Luckily.” I add the last part more for myself than for him.
“I need to get up.”
I know I’m not allowed to move, but I start fidgeting and there is this unexplainable need to stand up. I start pulling off the attached monitors, telling Philip what to switch off so the alarms don’t alert the nurses that I’m going against their orders. As everything is turned off, I try standing up and Philip is instantly next to me, trying to help. I want to object, but I let him help as long as he lets me be. We don’t talk much in the next couple of days while they’re making sure I am okay to go home with tests on top of tests and the comments that it was a miracle that everything healed overnight while I slept after they took me off life support. I ignore it all. I want to get out of here. Philip doesn’t talk anymore but he’s a permanent fixture next to my hospital bed, even after I asked him to leave many times. At least he looks a little better now and he shaved, I’m guessing, while I slept.
“So can I go home now?” I look at the doctor hopefully.
“Hmmmm...Well, I can’t see why not. I have no explanation how this recovery is possible, but I have no reason to keep you here,” he says as if he regrets that I’m not going to be his lab rat anymore. Actually, I’m sure he does.
“Wonderful. Then I’ll be out of your hair in the next hour or so,” I say, smiling.
“Not so fast, Ms. Semiramis. I’ll sign the release papers, but a nurse is coming with you until I’m sure you are good to be left alone - miracle recovery or not,” he frowns at me. I was about to argue when the door opens and a woman walks in, smiling from ear to ear.
“This is the patient, Doctor?” She talks to him, yet I can’t stop looking at her. She looks so familiar, but I can’t place it.
“Yes. Ms. Semiramis, this will be your live-in nurse for a while. Remi, this is Ms. Semiramis.”
He introduces us but at her name, another set of memories hits me and everything comes together. I look at her and she winks.
“Nice to meet you, Ms....”
“You can call me Al.” I cut her off.
“Al,” she repeats, and her eyes are crinkling while she’s trying not to laugh. I smile at her, too, until I realize the doctor and Philip are looking at both of us like we’ve lost our minds.
“Right. I’m out of here,” I say as I get off the bed to start dressing.
“I need to finish a couple of things here,” Remi s
ays. “I’ll meet you at your apartment shortly. It’s the address we have on file, correct?”
“Yes,” I answer from behind the bathroom door.
“I’ll take her home,” I hear Philip say to the doctor, and after hearing very well, I hear no one talking anymore. I guess they left me to get ready. As I walk out of the bathroom dressed in sweats and a t-shirt Philip got from the gift shop downstairs earlier, he jumps up off the chair.
“Oh, I thought you’d left to go outside.”
He doesn’t answer, just grabs the plastic bag and my purse and starts walking out. I follow. Who cares about his attitude as long as I get out of here and get home? I don’t have to deal with him anymore after that. The drive takes longer. He’s driving like he thinks I might jump out of the car if we move faster than 5 miles an hour. I keep my mouth shut. I just need to get home and I’ll be fine. We park and both walk out of the car. I’m looking at him warily, hoping he doesn’t plan on hanging around, but I say nothing. I’m grateful my neighbor Mark doesn’t come out to give his two cents but then again, he wouldn’t when he sees a man. He’s tough when only women are around.
I unlock the door, walk in, and as I turn around to tell Philip thank you and good bye, he takes the door handle, makes me take a step back and walks in, closing it behind him. I don’t have time to react. He wraps his arms around me, crushing me to his chest and holds me like that for a second. I’m shocked by the action and just stare at him like a deer in the headlights. He leans his head forward and his lips touch mine softly, tenderly at first and since I didn’t object (I was in shock by all this, remember), he takes this as encouragement to part my lips with his tongue and his kiss turns from gentle to urgent. Turning around, he has me pinned to the door. His energy changes from caring and worry into something primal. I can’t just feel it, I can taste it, too. His left hand is in my hair, controlling the movement of my head while he is holding my hip with his right. I can feel his erection pressing on my belly, pulsing even through his pants and the sweats I wear. My mind is reeling from what’s happening so I stupidly go along with it until he moves away and starts kissing down my neck. His hand goes under my shirt, grabbing my breast and pinching my nipple. He is moaning like a man dying of thirst after his first sip of water. I can finally take a proper breath.
