by K. Webster
“We can talk about it later,” Mom says in a gentle voice. “They’re okay, though. That’s all that matters.”
Oh, fuck this hurts.
I hit the nurse button, needing her to show up with my pain meds already. This action has both Mom and Dad waking up. We’ve since been moved to a room and I can see the sunrise from my vantage point.
“What’s wrong?” Dad asks, walking over to me and assessing me. “What’s your pain level?”
“I hurt,” I groan. “It hurts.”
“You had stomach surgery. There will be pain. I’ll go find a nurse.” He pats my hand before leaving.
Mom’s phone rings and she speaks lowly to someone. Then, she hangs up. Her eyes lift to mine, guilt swarming in them.
“Who was that?”
“Mike.”
“What did he want?”
She sighs before standing. “To give me an update on the kids. Roux has been discharged and has been released to him. Roan is still here.”
“Where? Why?”
“Just getting CT scans and some other things. Those men beat him up pretty badly.” Her eyes water. “He was lucky Jordy came when he did.”
Jordy?
“How is Jordy? Did he get hurt too? Is he okay?”
Mom frowns. “They arrested him.”
“Why?”
“He shot and killed four men, Hollis.”
I gape at her. “He did?”
“Roan and Roux both say it was to protect them, but it’s a mess right now. Nothing you need to worry about, though. We need you to focus on you.”
Oh God.
Poor Roan.
His best friend killed four men for them.
This will eat him alive with guilt.
“I want to see him,” I beg. “Take me to Roan.”
She walks over to me and takes my hand. “As soon as we can, we’ll make it happen.”
I wake to whispered voices.
Mike and Mom.
“Perhaps you two should take this conversation elsewhere,” a pissed off voice snarls. Dad. “He’s trying to rest.”
I crack my eyes open. Mike has his arm around Mom, hugging her as she cries. Dad is pacing, eyeing Mike like he’s carrying the plague.
“Where’s Roan?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
Dad rushes over to me and pours me a glass of ice water. “Here. Drink this.”
I take his offered glass and gulp down the cold drink. Mom and Mike both stand and walk over to me.
“How you feeling, kid?” Mike asks me.
“I’ll feel better when I see my boyfriend.”
Mike smiles. “You’re just as annoying as Roan is. I’m here because his bossy ass made me come check on you.”
I relax my body, happy as hell. “Is he okay?”
“Another concussion. Some internal bleeding, but they’ve got all that under control. They’re keeping him for monitoring.”
“Where’s Roux?”
“Aunt Karen came and got her,” Mom replies. “Poor thing was exhausted.”
“Jordy still at the station?” I ask, frowning.
Mom’s lips purse together. “It doesn’t look good for him. His parents and brother are there. They’ve hired an attorney. We don’t know much yet.”
Mike clutches Mom’s shoulder, which makes my dad snort with disgust.
“Why do you all seem like there’s more bad news?” I hate that they’re both looking at me sadly.
“Miranda woke up. She’s claiming someone drugged her. Keeps asking about her baby girl.” Mom’s face reddens with anger. “She told the police Roan was there to kidnap Roux.”
Oh shit.
“I told Roan to keep his mouth shut,” Mike grunts. “I don’t want him incriminating himself. The police already have record of having to take Roux from Roan, so kidnapping isn’t a far stretch.”
“This is bullshit,” I mutter. “She’s an incompetent druggie.”
“It’s all a mess right now,” Mom agrees. “For now, worry about getting better.”
Feeling helpless to do anything but sleep, I close my eyes and dream of Roan.
Soft flutters on my hand wake me from my slumber. I’ve slept off and on for the last couple of days since I had surgery. None of those days have I seen or spoken to Roan.
Yet, here he is.
Sitting in a chair beside my bed, rubbing his thumb along the back of my hand.
“Roan,” I whisper.
He lifts his head and I cringe. His face is black and blue. One eye is swollen almost all the way shut and he has stitches on his cheek. His bottom lip is busted in two spots.
“Hey,” he mumbles. “Long time no see.”
“What happened to you?”
He closes his eyes and a tear leaks out. My heart breaks at seeing him so destroyed. His entire body trembles as he loses it. All I can do to comfort him is squeeze his hand.
“Roan…”
“Everything’s so fucked up, Hollis. Everything.”
“Talk to me, babe. Tell me.”
He coughs, clearly trying to compose himself, but he fails. His words come out as sobs. “S-She told them I was there to k-kidnap Roux. D-Defended that fucker Alejandro.” He sniffles and lets out a sharp sigh. “Jordy lied t-too. To p-protect me.”
“Oh no.”
“If I c-contradict what he says, I’ll go to j-jail t-too. I don’t know what the f-fuck to do.” He trembles as he cries. His free hand tugs at his hair in frustration while his other hand clings to me like I’m a lifeline.
“What did Jordy tell them?”
“Said he used m-me to get inside. Lied and s-said he’s in a rival g-gang as Alejandro.”
“But that’s bullshit,” I snap. “Why can’t it just be a slam dunk case? Your sister was in danger and you saved her. Jordy did what he did to protect you both.”
He swipes at his tears. “B-Because it’s n-not that simple. Either way, he’s in deep s-shit for killing four men. This way, I stay clean.”
“What are you going to do?”
“J-Juno and Mike and your mom all told me I need to just let Jordy do what he wants. Then I’m still out here f-for Roux.”
“Oh, fuck, Roan. I’m so sorry.”
He rests his forehead on our conjoined hands. “I just need t-to think. I just need to sleep.”
“Sleep,” I murmur, squeezing his hand. “Sleep. Then we’ll figure it out together.”
His breathing comes out soft and rhythmic a moment later. It lulls me into my own nap. At least when we’re sleeping, we don’t have to deal with all the unfair bullshit.
We’re going to figure this out.
We have to.
Roan
Two months later…
His dark eyes are vacant. Jordy is no longer the kid playing basketball with me or fucking with me about my lack of cooking skills. No, he’s dressed in a cheap suit that probably belongs to his dad awaiting his sentencing.
I hate how resigned he is to his future.
Hollis grips my hand so tightly, I think my bones will break. It would feel better than the shredding of my heart.
Roux fidgets from beside me. She’s upset. We both are. But there’s nothing we can do. Jordy was adamant about what really went down. Some fake ass story that the cops pretty much rolled their eyes over, but one they accepted, nonetheless.
Rival gangs.
I was some tool for him to get to Alejandro.
He swore to them that I was just there to visit my sister, not kidnap her like Mom claimed. The gangsters attacked me and Roux, and then Jordy killed those men. He told them it was convenient, because they needed to die anyway. For gang related reasons.
During the trial, they attempted to get answers from Jordy. The name of the supposed gang he was with. Why they had beef with Alejandro. How come he told the cops during the standoff he was protecting us and never mentioned these alleged gangs. It was a shitshow and Jordy just sat there stone-faced and quiet. The one time he decided to speak was
to plead guilty. Everyone was pissed off. The lawyers. The judge. Us. But what can you do when someone just willingly takes the heat for shit?
Nothing.
My mind drifts to the one time we spoke.
“My attorney says I’m going to prison no matter what I tell them,” Jordy says, swallowing. “No need to have them drag you through the mud.”
“It’s not dragging me through the mud,” I hiss. “It’s being honest as to why we were there. She was being assaulted. I went there to save her. You were worried, so you came too. The four men were trying to hurt us. You killed them. The fucking end, Jordy. We all go home. Together.”
He shakes his head, his dark eyes sad as they probe me. “We’re not boys anymore, man. We’re adults. Your mom’s claim means you’re looking at serious jail time for attempted kidnapping. Years, Roan. You have a future.”
“Oh, give me a fucking break,” I snap. “You have a future too and you’re ruining it. Ruining everything.”
“For Roux,” he growls. “And you. Besides, I’m not ruining everything. I’m being smart. For once in my damn life, I’m being smart. You ‘visiting’ your sister and getting caught up in a gang war keeps you both innocent and victims. I’m going to prison either way, so I may as well keep you clean.”
“This is bullshit! You were defending us!”
“I think it’s time for you to go. It’s done, brother.”
I hastily swipe at my tears. “It’s not done. I’ll tell them all this. That it’s all just your way of protecting us. You’ll get a lesser sentence. You can come back to us.”
His features grow cold. “I’ll deny it.” He sneers. “I used you. To kill those motherfuckers.”
“Stop, Jordy,” I beg. “Please. The cops who responded already know you were protecting us. Come on, man, we can fix this.”
“This takes the focus off why you were there,” he snaps. “How many times do we need to go over this? They will toss your ass in jail just as quickly as they will me for what I did. Do you want Roux all alone with your mom and her next asshole boyfriend?” He cracks his neck. “I sure as hell don’t. Who’s to say the next one doesn’t hurt her in ways that can’t be undone? She needs you.”
“She needs you too,” I argue, choking on an angry sob. “We both do.”
“You have the rat and she has his sister. Just…” He sighs. “Just let me take the fall for this and stay clean. Make me proud. Go fight fires like you always wanted. Go make babies with the rat for all I care. Just make sure Roux is right there with you and safe. Swear it to me, Roan. On our friendship, brother.”
Defeated, I nod.
I’ll do it for him.
I’ll do it for Roux.
Because, honestly, I don’t know what else to do.
As the memory fades, I stare at Jordy. He’s so resigned to doing this. It kills me. But, after researching the laws, he was right. If they dug and could prove I had plans to kidnap Roux, which they easily could, I would get a few years if convicted. A few years that Roux cannot afford to lose of me. I’d read up on Oregon laws and his sentence would be reduced if he could prove extreme emotional distress, which was plausible considering he was trying to save us, but that would once again shine the spotlight on why I was there. We all know it wasn’t for a friendly visit. I was there to take her.
I let out a heavy sigh of frustration. This fucking sucks. I’m shaking and barely able to hold it together. I’m thankful to have Hollis by my side. Cal and Terrence are sitting on the other side of Roux, both just as upset as we are. Our friend is up there, in front of everyone, facing a horrible future. The lawyer warned us that if the judge is harsh, he could be spending life without parole. He thinks, though, with the holes in the case and Jordy’s age, the judge might be more lenient. Only time will tell.
The sentencing trial goes quickly.
I’m numb through it all.
Until it’s time for sentencing. The judge shakes his head in exasperation before speaking.
“I may be old, son, but I’m not dumb. And neither is anyone in this courtroom,” the judge says, frowning at Jordy. “This wasn’t premeditated. There’s no proof of gang affiliation. We have several testimonies from law enforcement officers who arrived on the scene. You were protecting your friends.” The judge pinches the bridge of his nose before sighing. “But I can’t force you to tell the truth. You’ve plead guilty and that’s out of my control.”
The courtroom is nearly silent as we all wait with bated breath for the sentencing.
“What is under my control is your sentencing. My hands are tied where Oregon law is concerned, meaning you have to serve time. How much, though, is up to me. Considering your no priors and age, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to spend your life in jail. You’re still young, therefore you’re still thinking like a boy. I’m hoping you’ll begin thinking like a man soon. The minimum sentence I can give you, son, is ten years at Oregon State Penitentiary with eligibility for parole after four.”
The same goddamn prison my father’s at.
Ten years.
And that’s the best we could hope for.
“I suggest,” the judge says in a firm tone, “that you get really familiar with the appeal laws of our state. I suggest you sit and think about how this impacts your life. Maybe one day we can revisit this case.” The judge shakes his head again. “Try not to lose yourself in there, kid. You’ll get out before you know it and still have a chance to do right by yourself.”
As he mumbles on more of the court sentencing jargon, I shut down. I’m dying inside because I feel like this is all my fault. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to free my friend.
A loud whistle catches my attention over all the murmurs of voices.
Jordy.
Dark, penetrating eyes on me.
“Take care of Little Hoodlum.” He mouths the words, but I hear them clear as day.
I nod sharply, which earns me a rare smile.
And then they take my best friend away.
“I don’t want to go,” Roux whines. “Not today. Not after seeing them take Jordy away.”
I stroke Roux’s hair and let out a heavy sigh. “I know. But Mom will be here any minute to get you. We have to play this right. You have your phone, right?”
Roux nods.
“Good. Call me or text me if anything is weird. Captain Fitzgerald said he’d be the first to check on you if you needed anything. We’ll do this the right way this time.”
“I miss you, though. She stole all my birthday money, you know.” She huffs. “For bills she said, but I don’t believe it. I hate living with her.”
Who the fuck takes their kid’s birthday money?
“I know you do. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry,” Hollis says, patting her foot. “Tomorrow is another school day. Roan and I will pick you up first thing in the morning. Charlotte will talk your ear off and all will be right in the world.”
She laughs. “She does talk a lot in the mornings.”
“More than you,” I tease. “Seriously, though, everything is going to be okay.”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
We all three groan in unison. Mom allowed Roux to attend the hearing, but only because she was at work. Now she’ll take my sister back home. This fucking sucks.
I rise and stalk over to the front door. I swing it open and glare at my piece of shit mother. She reeks of cigarette smoke and her eyeliner is smeared. Her hand trembles when she waves for Roux to come with her.
“Are you high?” I demand. She hates when I ask her this.
“No, asshole, I’m tired as fuck. Been stripping to keep the electricity on because your stupid best friend killed my boyfriend. Now I have to pay for everything by myself.”
Testy.
“Aww,” I sneer. “Poor Mom. Actually having to be a fucking parent for once.”
“Get your shit,” Mom bellows to Roux. “I don’t have time for this. I’m ready to go to bed.”
“I’m coming,” Roux grumbles.
“See you tomorrow,” Hollis tells her.
Roux hugs me and I kiss the top of her head. “Take care. Call me later.”
Mom shoots me another nasty look before wobbling down the stairs in her stupid high heels. She and Roux climb into Alejandro’s Maxima. The bitch peels out, making a mess out of Mike’s yard. I shake my head in frustration.
“Come on,” Hollis says, taking my hand. “You need a nap.”
I’m numb and broken and sad as fuck. Jordy is going to prison. Ten fucking years. My eyes are blurry by the time we make it to bed. Hollis is gentle as he strips me down to my underwear. He does the same and then we crawl into bed. My boyfriend holds me, allowing me to just blank out for God knows how long.
It’s dark by the time I decide to speak.
“It’s all my fault.”
He runs his fingers through my hair. “Nope. You can’t take this on your shoulders.”
“If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have felt like he needed to rescue us.”
“Jordy is a big boy. He knew what he was doing.”
I sigh. “Maybe I should have been more adamant about my reasons for going there. Maybe that would have somehow reduced his sentence. I don’t fucking know.”
“It was hard for them to prove he killed in defense when he killed four people,” Hollis says gently. “So even if you told them you were there to take Roux, it doesn’t change that. Either way, ten years was a good outcome for him.”
“Nothing feels good about any of this.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “But there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s done.”
We lie in silence for a while longer until his stomach growls.
“You need to eat,” I state.
“Yeah. I can make us something.”
It’s weird seeing Hollis eat now. I guess if I had a bleeding hole in my stomach, I’d never be hungry either. I’m glad they fixed him. He’s healthier looking than I’ve ever known him. It’s one less thing to worry about.
Neither of us gets up.
“Roan,” Hollis practically yells. “Phone.”
