by Alice Kirks
Her hair became more of a strawberry blonde as she grew older. Her face morphed into the same shape as her mother’s. Sophia had, for all purposes, become a mini version of her mother, and it made Louisa uncomfortable.
Perhaps if she had kept her mouth shut that night all those years ago, Sophia would still believe that she was looking out for her. She was still looking out for Sophia, but it was done in a different manner.
How was one to look out for someone that she hoped would come to live the same kind of disappointing life that oneself had? It did not make sense to Louisa, but for Sophia, her mother, and for Jonathon, she was trying.
***
Louisa startled out of her thoughts when she heard a knock at the door. Who could be knocking so late at night, when she was used to having the house to herself and had already sent the servants to bed?
“Louisa? Are you awake?” Jonathon’s voice echoed quietly in the hallway.
“Yes, Jonathon.” She walked to the door and opened it. “What is wrong?”
Sophia, now, was about eight.
“Sophia says you said that you cannot love her as your own any longer.” Jonathon did not have the child with him. “I have put her to bed for the night, but I promised that I would come talk to you and see if that was indeed the case.”
“No, no, Jonathon. I was reading a book earlier and must have accidentally quoted it to her. I apologise if I have upset her in any way.” She frowned deeply.
She had not realised that Sophia would go off to her father and complain that she no longer felt loved by Aunt Louisa.
“In the future, could you refrain from telling her things like that without making certain that she knows you are talking of a book?”
“I can do that, Jonathon. Is that all you needed?” She looked back at the book on her nightstand.
While the mother was completely absent in this book, the father did not love the daughter. She knew there was no way that Jonathon would understand that from what Sophia had told him, but she recalled her words too clearly to try and refute them by changing the gender of the unloved child, or of the unloving relative.
“Yes, that was all I needed. I apologise for keeping you away from your book.” Jonathon left with a half-defeated look.
Louisa shut the door to her room and returned to the letter she had been reading.
It had been the one that Jonathon sent her to tell her of her sister’s passing. The same day she had suffered a miscarriage…
She could not believe that she had once thought this was fate telling her that her sister’s life was meant to be hers. If that was the case, then why had Jonathon not proposed marriage to her? If that was the case, then why was she starting to wonder why she had even answered the letter as she had eight years ago?
Why did she wonder and worry that she had made a major mistake by coming to take care of Sophia instead of passing along a few names of nannies that would do wonderfully for a duke’s daughter?
She shook her head and put the letter back in the keepsake box.
***
Louisa shook herself away from those thoughts. Now that Sophia had come of age to marry, and to be presented at court, there was not much left for her to do. She could rid herself of Sophia by marrying her off to any man, and then she could find the life she was meant to have.
But what man would marry a spinster who had put her courtships on hold to help a brother-in-law raise a daughter?
Jonathon certainly hadn’t wanted to marry her. That had severely disappointed Louisa; she had expected him to propose within the first year after her sister had passed. That way, she could have had her own child and been able to enjoy the kind of life she wanted from the very beginning.
She took a deep breath.
This was not the time for those thoughts. She had promised her brother-in-law that she would help Sophia become the best woman she could. For that to happen, Louisa would have to make sure she got the right amount of sleep herself.
So, she readied herself for bed.
Though the thoughts of what tomorrow would bring for her worried her, she knew one thing for certain: Sophia would be married by her twenty-first birthday. That had been one mistake in her own life that she did not want Sophia to make.
With less than a year to make that happen, she only had one chance to make it work.
This upcoming season in London, Sophia would be the dazzling star of the court, and she would have her pick of any of the men.
If Louisa could not have the pick of the men, then she would try her hardest to make sure that Sophia had plenty of suitors to choose from. That would take a lot of work, and it was certain to be a challenge.
As Louisa closed her eyes to make sure she was able to sleep, a smile slowly crept along her face. She would make sure that Sophia could marry well, and that was her new goal in life.
Once she was done with that, she was not sure what she would do, but this much Louisa knew: Sophia would dazzle everyone at the first ball. Just as her sister had dazzled at her first ball… the thought reminded her too much of her lost youth and the way she had lost her sister.
She shook her head and then lay down on her bed. She would not allow those thoughts to steal any sleep from her today.
Chapter 3
Sophia woke up the next morning, thankful that her aunt was still caring for her. Though they had had their own bumps in the road, she knew that there was no one else on the earth that could have given her the kind of childhood she had with Aunt Louisa and her father.
Then again, perhaps if a governess or nanny had come in to help her father instead of Aunt Louisa, she would not feel like her aunt had betrayed her trust. She would have known for a fact that her aunt did not love her enough to come help her father raise her right.
She took in a deep breath. There was nothing more for her to do in her room.
There was to be a large ball tonight, and Sophia had no reason to stay in her room all day long. She would have to make sure she ate, got ready, and made sure that her dress was ready. She would have to make sure that Aunt Louisa approved of her dress and of her plans for the evening, though she had already known that her aunt would want her to go to the ball for a while.
It would be her debut to the town, her entrance as a lady into society.
That thought made Sophia’s stomach all aflutter.
Could she really find the one man that she was going to love like no one else in one season, as her aunt had boasted her mother had? Or was she going to have to have multiple seasons?
And why had her father decided to make her wait until she was twenty to make her debut into society? It would be harder for her to find a suitor because she had had a late start, but Aunt Louisa seemed to believe that it would be the best thing for her, and so her father had allowed Aunt Louisa to decide when her debut would be made.
It was not entirely too late, but she certainly felt it these last two years. She had heard stories of wedding and parties that she had not been allowed to go to, but that had not stopped Aunt Louisa from forbidding her to debut into town until she was twenty.
Apparently, it was when her mother had debuted into society, and it had gone well for her mother. Who was she to question methods that had been proven in the past?
“Sophia?” There was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” She quickly threw a dressing gown on over her shift. This was not exactly the best start to the day, already late for something. “Am I late for breakfast?”
“No, no.” Her father entered the room. “I simply came to see if you were awake. I heard reports from the servants that they had heard someone awake late at night, and I was curious to know if you had slept all right.” His face turned a bright red. Something was wrong, and he did not know how to address the problem with her.
“I slept fine. Perhaps ‘twas Aunt Louisa who woke up. You know how restlessly she sleeps.” She smiled a little. “Is that all, Father?”
“No, ‘tis not all.” He
sat down at the writing desk, and she took a seat on the bed.
If her father was going to take a seat, then something was seriously wrong.
“What is it, Father?” She pursed her lips. He never took a seat to tell her something. Not unless it was something that he was afraid would upset her more than it would him.
“I believe that tonight is the first time I have ever wanted to wish that you were still a little girl.” He sighed, shaking his head with a slight laugh. “I remember when you were younger and came running into my room, hoping that I could help you with a problem.”
“I have grown up, yes.” Sophia smiled a little. “I will always be your daughter, though. Is there any reason you do not wish for me to grow up?” She found this an interesting change in her father’s demeanour.
“’Tis always a hard thing to realise your child is no longer a child. I hope that some day, when you have children, you will be able to understand it more than I could ever hope to explain it.” He stood up again. “I do not know why I sat down to say that, but there it is. I have said it. However, with tonight being your debut into society, I wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box out of his suit pocket. “It belonged to your mother.”
Sophia took the box, curious to know what he was gifting her. Well, what her mother was gifting her. She had never known her mother to have had anything like this, and she did not know what to expect.
She opened the box. Inside, there was a beautiful locket, with a small flower on it. There was a small gem on the middle of the flower, and there was plenty of red paint to make it clear that the flower was a rose.
“She wore that around her neck every day we were married, Sophia.” Her father smiled softly. “I know that ‘tis not much, and it may not match what you plan to wear tonight, but I would be honoured if you would wear it to one of your balls this season. I know your mother would have wanted you to have it.”
Sophia took it out of the box and opened it.
Inside sat a picture of her father, and on the other side, a young woman. The young woman looked much like Sophia did.
“She put a picture of both me and herself in there. She said that it was to keep us close to her heart when we were physically apart.” Her father shook his head. “I never knew why she did that, but I knew she was clutching at it in her final hours. I was unable to make it to your birth… and I have never regretted anything more than that.”
They walked down to breakfast together, with Sophia still holding the locket.
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