by E M Lindsey
Niko bit his lip, like he was trying to hide a smile. “Being here, I guess I’m obligated to say the Avalanche, but if I’m being honest, I have no strong feelings about them whatsoever. And uh…I grew up in Jersey, so I had a lot of Devils loyalty growing up.”
“Who’s your secret team?” Sam asked with a tiny grin.
Niko looked surprised. “How the fuck do you know about the secret team?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “I grew up in football country, man. You were nothing if you didn’t support your state team. But I also learned early on that state loyalty was bullshit and everyone—I mean everyone—had the team they secretly rooted for. I have a feeling that’s not just football. So…who is it? Trust me, your secret’s safe with me.”
Niko laughed, shaking his head as he dragged his hand down his face and groaned. Loudly. “Fine. The Habs, because Carey Price is amazing, and I probably would have given my left nut to take the ice with him if I could.”
Sam blinked a little in surprise, because the words were spoken like maybe, at one point, that would have been a real possibility for Niko. But there was also something in his tone that told Sam he wasn’t being entirely honest. “Okay,” he said slowly, “and now who’s your real secret team?”
Niko laughed louder, leaning back with a louder groan. “Fuck, you are too good.” He stared at his feet, hesitating, then took a small breath. “If you tell anyone, I will end you.”
“Cross my heart,” Sam said with a huge grin, drawing an X over his left pec.
Niko licked his lips, then sat up and pulled his legs into a crouch, leaning toward Sam. “The Stars.”
“That’s Texas, right?” Sam said, wracking his brain.
“Mm, Dallas,” Niko said. “Just google Tyler Seguin’s ass and you’ll see why.”
Sam blinked, then laughed and reached out, shoving Niko back to his ass. “Jesus, a hot ass gets you team loyalty?”
“I never said I was loyal, I just said it was a secret,” Niko replied with a grin. “His ass should have a church where I could worship every day. Then again, most hockey dudes have it. Trust me. You don’t have to like sports to appreciate a good hockey butt.”
Sam grinned fully. “Fair enough. I’ll take your word on it.” He hesitated, then said, “You ever play?”
The mood shifted almost instantly, but Niko didn’t look upset, only thoughtful as he turned his gaze up toward the sky. “I used to. It was a long time ago.”
Sam knew there was a story there, but there was pain in his tone and Niko didn’t offer more, so he let it go. “You doing alright after all that in there?” he asked instead. Before Niko could ask what he was talking about, Sam gave a tiny laugh. “The freak out with James’ leg.”
Niko glanced away, as though he was willing himself not to remember the image of blood and gore when he thought Mat had been carving on James’ actual flesh leg. “Uh, right. It’s...” he hesitated, “…a thing. I have a seriously difficult time with blood. And I didn’t know he was an amputee.”
“So, it wasn’t the fact that he had prosthetics?” Sam said, a slight challenge in his tone. He knew what went down with Derek and Niko, and while he was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, he still wasn’t sure about him.
Niko met Sam’s stare head-on. “No. It wasn’t the prosthetics. When I was in my undergrads, during a chem lecture, one of the guys in the second row got a bloody nose. Not even like gushing blood, just a little dribble. I glanced over, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor and a bunch of people were standing over me trying to wake my pathetic ass up. I’ve always been that way. I’ve had some,” he cleared his throat, “unflattering nicknames growing up because if I even think about blood, it gets ugly.”
Sam looked at him another moment, then smiled. “Fair enough. I meant what I said though. Are you okay? You looked like you were on the verge of being sick all over Derek’s shoes. And however stupid you think the issue is, all of us take that shit seriously.”
Niko rubbed his hand down his face, but he still smiled. “Once I realized it wasn’t actual skin, I was fine. I just had to convince my brain that he wasn’t about to bleed out all over the sofa.” He gave Sam a very soft smile and shrugged. “Thanks, though. It feels kind of nice to be cared about instead of viciously mocked.”
“Well,” Sam said with another hint of a grin, “I can’t say you won’t be mocked. It’ll just be in a nicer way than some people.” As Niko chuckled, Sam turned his gaze back up toward the stars and let out a breath. “Thanks for this. I really needed it. I should uh…I should let you get back to Derek. I didn’t mean to fuck up your date.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t really a date though,” Niko said, rubbing at the back of his neck again. “I fucked up pretty big with him the other night, and we decided to give it another chance, but I don’t think there’s anything there. I like him a lot, but there’s no spark. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Sam breathed out, because he did. And the terrifying part was, he was feeling something warm between them now, even as they just stared at each other. “You don’t need to give up on it though. Derek’s a great guy.”
“Yeah, he is. He verbally smacked my nose with a rolled-up newspaper, and I deserved it.” Niko ran a hand through his hair. “I think he took me here as a test.”
Sam’s eyebrows lifted. “Yeah?”
“He was talking about your boss’ daughter, about her being deaf and him learning sign. I made some shitty comments about wouldn’t it be easier if she just learned to talk. And the worst part was, I didn’t even really get it until after he just got up and walked out on the date. I googled it when I got back to my place and learned how fucked up my opinion was.” Niko shrugged, looking contrite and genuine, though Sam didn’t entirely trust it. In truth, he’d met plenty of guys who wanted to be with him only because they wanted to prove something—like they were totally cool with disability when really, it was nothing more than morbid fascination.
“I see why he left,” Sam replied, because he did. But he also saw why Derek offered him another chance. “People don’t really get it. Unless they live with it, they don’t really have to think about it on the day to day.”
Niko nodded, and he pointedly looked at Sam’s wheels instead of trying to avoid them altogether. “When uh…when did it happen for you?”
Sam smiled a little. “I was fifteen. Being a dumbass, riding around with friends I shouldn’t have been. Got into an accident and crushed my lower spine.”
“Shit,” Niko said, eyebrows rising up on his forehead. “That young?”
“I guess it gave me the chance to get used to living life like this a lot longer than I lived walking,” Sam told him. “Right now, I’m dealing with some custody bullshit and I was hoping to use that in my favor, but the assholes in suits are trying to use it against me.”
Niko sat up a little straighter. “You have a kid?”
Sam couldn’t help his full grin. “Not biological, but yeah. It’s a long, complicated story I don’t really want to go into right now, but she’s…man, she’s fucking great. I’ve had her since she was a baby. She’s three now, and she’s so damn smart and beautiful and I just…it’s been a bad week and it looks like the next few months are only going to get worse.”
Niko’s brows furrowed. “I don’t really know about kids. My sister has a pair. They live in Jersey, and I never go back there so I hardly see them, but they’re pretty great. And uh, look, you ever want to get together and get a break from it all, you just let me know. We can do coffee, take the kid to feed some ducks. I know the gym has a couple yoga classes I could probably get you into if you want.”
Sam blinked, then laughed. “I actually teach accessible fitness classes from time to time. Mostly core fitness and wheelchair yoga. There’s a rehab center in Denver that I work out of when I have time. Actually, next weekend we’re trying to set up goat yoga in the park.”
Niko perked up. “Goat yoga?”
�
��Yoga with baby goats. The goats don’t actually do yoga, they just kind of climb all over you, but people seem to love it. It’s weirdly relaxing,” Sam said with a small chuckle. “You wanna check it out?”
Niko looked unsure, but his lips lifted into a proper smile which did something to Sam’s insides that he was unprepared to deal with right then. “It’s okay for guys like me to join in?”
Sam frowned, then realized what Niko was asking and laughed. “Abled, disabled, it’s all the same to the baby goats.”
He could just make out a faint blush along Niko’s cheeks as he bowed his head and nodded. “I think that might be fun. Text me the details?”
Sam hesitated for only a second before he dug out his phone. “Give me your number.” He tried not to stare at Niko’s soft grin as he rattled off the numbers, and for a second, he considered saving him with some smart-ass name. In the end, he just went with Niko Gym Guy, because keeping him at a distance like that was a lot safer.
* * *
Niko contemplated not answering his phone, but he was at his place of business and although he didn’t necessarily need his paycheck, he didn’t want to get fired either. At least, not for something as ridiculous as ignoring clients.
He took a breath, saved the page he was on, then cradled the receiver between his ear and shoulder. “Niko Pagonis.”
“I thought you might be out,” came Holland’s voice on the other line. “You got a sec?”
“For you, I have several,” Niko told her, leaning back in his chair. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed the sore spots over the bridge of his nose. “What’s up?”
“They accepted your offer. Initially they wanted a ten-year lease, but when I told them you were willing to provide the capital for the renovations outside of the loan agreement, they agreed to a five year with a renegotiation possible after three, and option to buy if the place is doing well.”
Niko felt a small twinge in his belly, but nothing like he thought he would at having his offer accepted. It was a start to something he wanted—desperately—and yet, it still felt hollow. “Perfect,” he finally said. “When do I sign?”
Holland laughed. “Give me two weeks, buddy. I have to get a couple inspectors over to check it out, and we want to get a couple of companies in there to give you the redesign estimate.”
“You know I don’t care about cost,” he reminded her.
She sighed. “I know that, but there’s a difference between being willing to spend the money and being duped by assholes who want to fuck you over because you have it. Let me and Jane handle this. You know we have your back and we want this place to do well. Just focus on getting your design ideas ready and think about who you want to start scouting for your head chef.”
Niko startled at that, only because he thought he’d been obvious. He figured he’d have to be his own head chef if he wanted it done right. “Holland, I don’t want to bring some stranger in here to cook my family’s recipes. I want to be hands-on.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” she said from behind a sigh. “Look, I get that it’s precious, and there are tons of chefs who own their own restaurants, but they don’t work the line, babe. You can’t do both. You try, you’ll run this place, and yourself, into the ground in less than a year. Start doing some research, start talking to people. Get some ideas and get back to me.” She took a long breath. “We can help you get started, okay? You want someone who knows Greek food, right?”
“Yes, but I don’t want some pretentious European asshole from some French school coming in here thinking they can cook better than the locals because they spent a month in Athens.” He tried to tone down his irritation, but he couldn’t help it. “Don’t bring me some bullshit TV chef.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, my dear,” she told him in a tone which reminded him no TV chef would touch his place with a ten-foot pole. Not that he cared if he sounded ridiculous.
He wasn’t being irrational—he wanted this to go right.
“Just give me some time,” he finally told her.
“Like I said, at least two weeks to get inspections finished, and then we work with a design team. The renovations will take at least three or four months. You’ll have all time you need.” Her voice and words were more soothing than before, and he was able to calm down a bit.
“Okay. And, sorry. Just…it’s the first time I’ve wanted to really do something for just me, and it’s kind of overwhelming.” He dragged his hand down his face, then peered at the clock. It had just gone noon, and though he knew he should probably eat, a run on the treadmill sounded like a far better way to get his mind to relax.
“It’s okay. We have your back, and it’s going to be fine. People open restaurants all the time, Niko.”
“And people lose them all the time,” he reminded her, not patronizing her with new business statistics which she would have clearly known.
“Fairfield is hurting for the type of cuisine you can offer,” she reminded him. “And with all those fuckers coming up from Denver, you’ll do fine. Don’t try to act like it’s dead in the water before we’re off the ground, babe. We won’t let that happen to you.”
Her words held strength, but not enough to convince him beyond a shadow of a doubt. All the same, he appreciated her. “Thanks. I’ll be in touch.”
“Alright. Talk soon.”
The line went dead, and Niko rose, grabbing his keys and wallet before heading out. He managed to duck anyone who wanted to talk to him and hurried down the street to the gym. It wasn’t far, and he was grateful no one tried to stop him after he badged in and got changed. He had a half an hour run calling his name, and he wanted to sweat.
The moment his feet hit the moving tread, his mind started to clear. He didn’t think about the restaurant, or his past, or his bum knee. He ignored the slight twinge in it as he pushed himself a little faster, and a little harder. He increased his speed and tension, then the incline. His calves began to burn, and his forehead broke out into a sweat.
His music was playing a low thrum in the background of his thoughts, and as his eyes drifted closed, he was suddenly struck by an image. A face framed by a sharp jaw, well-groomed brows, and stark ink over his arm, his hands, and his neck.
Sam wasn’t normally Niko’s type. Niko was usually drawn to loud, overwhelming guys who wanted to make it quick and filthy in the backseat of a car or dingy broom cupboard. He certainly had never been attracted to a guy who had a kid. And the wheelchair—he couldn’t deny the second thoughts it gave him. He was still reeling from what a shithead he’d been to Derek about the sign language. How could he trust himself not to be even worse with someone like Sam?
And yet. And yet, he found himself wanting to try. He found himself replaying their conversation over and over, and hearing the echo of Sam’s quiet laugh, and the low rumble of his voice. He’d wanted a lot more than just a text that night, but Sam hadn’t offered a promise of anything, and Niko didn’t entirely feel like he deserved a chance to ask for more.
Derek didn’t seem bothered by Niko’s interest in the other man, and even though they rode back together, they parted without a promise of seeing each other again. He might have been crushed by it, but by the time he got back to his place, he had a text on his phone.
Sam: Yoga, Saturday, 9am, Rose Garden Park. Be there or b²
It was maybe the nerdiest dad-joke nonsense he’d ever seen, and yet it sent him to sleep smiling so wide his cheeks hurt from it. There was a lot to Sam he wanted to know, a lot he was willing to work for. He didn’t know what Sam’s deal was, if he was into guys, if he would ever give a mess like Niko a chance, but he wanted to stick close and give it his best shot.
Yoga would have to be the start.
He ended his run with his heart pounding and back sweating—exactly the way he wanted. He went a little over his lunch break, but he didn’t think anyone would give a shit considering he was far enough ahead on most of his accounts that none of his clients could possibly co
mplain. He stepped off the treadmill, giving it a spritz and a wipe down before heading toward the locker rooms, but before he made it around the corner, he heard someone talking at the front desk.
“…seriously don’t have anything here? I mean, is there a way to set something up?”
“Look, ma’am, I appreciate your situation, but this is the best we can offer. Our insurance policy just doesn’t cover… people like you.”
“People like me. Right.”
Something about her defeatist, exhausted tone had him curious enough to step around the corner, and he saw her. She was in a manual wheelchair, dressed for the gym, her light brown hair in a messy bun. Both of her gloved hands were on her wheels, and she had her dark gaze fixed in a glare at the guy behind the front desk.
Niko found himself walking forward before he was really aware of it, and she turned, looking immediately defensive as he came to a stop in front of her. “I was eavesdropping,” he blurted.
Her eyebrows shot up. “Uh. Good for you? Not a damsel, not in distress, so take the knight shit somewhere else.”
He was unable to help his bark of laughter, and he saw her lips twitch a little. “That’s not…uh. I have this friend— sort of, acquaintance I guess—he does goat yoga in the park.”
She blinked at him for a long moment. “Okay?”
“He uses a wheelchair too,” he clarified. “He teaches classes for people with disabilities sometimes. So, uh…yeah. I thought maybe…”
“Yes,” she said in a rush, the words almost punched out of her. “Seriously? You’re serious?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I actually don’t know a lot about what he does, but the other night he was telling me about a yoga class this weekend.” He bit his lip, then said, “Do you want to give me your number and I can text you the details?”
She narrowed her eyes at him as she pushed her chair back a few paces. “Look dude, that’s super helpful and all with the yoga, but I’m engaged.”
He laughed again, his face burning. “No, I…shit. That’s not a line, I swear. I’m gay. Like super, super gay.”
