The words seem to hang between them, as if she was willing him to add something else. But he gave a quick nod. ‘Sure.’
Kristie broke into a jog back down the beach. He couldn’t help but stare at her silhouette. Mac bounded up and sat at his feet, looking up at him quizzically.
If there was mental telepathy between a human and a dog, Mac was currently calling him an idiot.
He kicked the sand at his feet. ‘I know, I know,’ he said as he shook his head and stuck his hands in his pockets.
He pushed his thoughts from his head. She was from LA. She worked on a TV show. He was crazy to think she might actually be interested in some guy from Arran. His ex had been quick to tell him that Arran was a dull, boring rock in the middle of nowhere. What could it possibly have to interest some woman who was probably two minutes from Hollywood? He stared out as the sun drew even closer to the horizon, sending warming streaks across the sky. He sighed. ‘Let’s go, Mac,’ he said as he turned and headed back to the cottage.
* * *
Kristie dressed carefully. For the first time since she’d come to the island she wore a dress. It was still summer here—even though it was much cooler than LA. Her hair didn’t usually give her much trouble, so she just ran a brush through it as usual. Her makeup took her no more than five minutes. She’d even applied it once in a dark cupboard with no light.
Gerry gave her a smile as she emerged from her room in their rental. ‘Special occasion?’
She shook her head, and pretended she didn’t notice the rush of heat to her cheeks. What on earth was she doing? Maybe she’d just imagined that moment on the beach. Maybe it had been nothing at all. She’d only wanted to warn him about the hype. Or had she?
Truth was, she never really watched herself on TV much. It seemed too egotistical. But watching the episode between her and Rhuaridh had brought all those emotions back to the surface. She couldn’t ever remember a guy getting under her skin the way Rhuaridh Gillespie had. And on the way over on the ferry this time she’d been nervous. Something else that was unusual for her.
Maybe it was the apparent popularity of the show. She’d already had a few interview requests. Last night when she’d logged onto her social media account she’d seen over four hundred comments about the show. What would happen when the third show went out?
Gerry was leaning against the wall. He looked paler than normal. ‘Okay?’ she asked.
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘Just a bit of indigestion. It’s my age.’
She gave a nod and headed to the stairs. They were filming at the surgery today, covering one of the paediatric clinics and immunisation clinics.
Screaming babies. Just her kind of thing. Not.
Gerry fumbled in his pocket and some lollipops landed on the floor. Kristie bent and picked them up. ‘Since when did you like candy?’
He tapped the side of his nose. ‘It’s my secret weapon. It’s in case we have unco-operative kids at the clinic today.’
She shook her head and held up one of the bright red lollipops. ‘It’s a pure sugar rush. No way will they let you hand these out. Think of the tooth decay.’
He winked. ‘I’m wiser than you think. They’re sugar-free.’ He started walking down the stairs in front of her. ‘Don’t let it be said that an old guy doesn’t have any new tricks.’
‘What about the additives?’ She stared at the colour again.
He shrugged in front of her. ‘Can’t think of everything.’
She shook her head and stuck some in the pocket of her dress. She could always eat them herself.
The clinic was chaos. It was a mixture of development checks, immunisations and childhood reviews.
Most of the mothers were delighted at the prospect of their child being filmed, so permissions were easy.
Rhuaridh was wearing a pale pink shirt today and dark trousers. She hated the fact he always looked so handsome. He moved through the waiting room easily, picking up babies and toddlers and carrying them through to the examination room, all while chatting to their mothers. He seemed at ease here. It was as if he’d finally decided to accept they’d be around and was doing what they’d asked him to do right from the beginning—ignore them.
But it made Kristie’s insides twist in a way she didn’t like.
Some of babies squealed. She didn’t blame them, getting three jabs at once was tough. She didn’t have much experience around kids or babies, so watching Ellen, the health visitor, do the development checks was more interesting than she’d thought.
She watched the babies follow things with their eyes, weight bear on their legs, and lift their heads up in line with their bodies. The older ones could grab things, sit up and balance on their own, and babble away quite happily.
Her favourite was a little boy just short of two years old. He came into the room with the biggest frown on his face. When Ellen tried to persuade him to build some bricks, say a few words or draw with a crayon he had the same response to everything. ‘No.’ His mother looked tired and sat with another baby on her lap, apologising profusely for her son’s lack of co-operation.
Ellen took some measurements and laughed and turned to Kristie. ‘As you can see, he has a younger sister. I’ve been in the house a dozen times and know he can do all these things—if he wants to.’
Kristie stopped smiling at the little guy and turned her attention to the mum. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked as if she might burst into tears. Kristie’s first reaction was to open her mouth and move into counselling mode but before she could, Ellen gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head towards Kristie and Gerry, and they backed out of the room.
Kristie stood against the wall for a few minutes and just breathed. She had no idea what was going on with that woman, but her own thoughts immediately raced back to her sister. The last few volunteer shifts on the helpline had been quiet. She’d almost willed the phone to ring, then had felt guilty for thinking that. In the end, she’d used the time in an unexpected way.
She’d started writing. She wasn’t sure what it was at first, but it had started to take shape into a piece of fiction—a novel, based on her experience with her sister and how suicide affected everyone. Her sister’s death had impacted on every part of her life. She’d watched the life drain from her mother and father and their health deteriorate quickly, with them eventually dying within a few months of each other.
Burying three family members in a short period of time had messed with her head so much she found it hard to form new relationships. Hard to find hope to invest in a future that might get snatched away from her. Of course, thoughts like those were irrational. She knew that. But she also knew that the last few men she’d met she’d kept at arm’s length. Whether she’d wanted to or not.
She sighed as the door opened again and Ellen crossed the hall to Rhuaridh’s room with a slip of paper in her hand.
Kristie’s mouth dried as the health visitor took charge of the children, then let the mother go and see Rhuaridh on her own.
She couldn’t help herself but follow Ellen to where she was bouncing the baby on her knee and entertaining the toddler, who’d now decided to draw pictures.
‘Is she okay?’
Ellen looked up. ‘It’s likely she has postnatal depression. We screen all new mums twice in the first year. I’ve visited Jackie at home a lot. She’s had two very colicky babies. Lack of sleep is tough.’
Kristie rubbed her hands up and down her arms, instantly cold. That piece of paper. That assessment that they do on all new mums—why hadn’t there been something like that for her sister? Would it have worked? Would it have picked anything up?
Maybe she was putting hope in something that didn’t exist. But just the thought—that there was a simple screening tool that would have picked up something...
‘Do you use it for other people?’
Ellen loo
ked up. She’d started building a pile of bricks on the floor with the toddler. ‘The postnatal depression scale? No, it’s designed specifically for women who’ve just had a baby. We’ve used it for years, though, and I think it’s very effective. Even if it just starts a conversation between me and the mum.’
‘But you took her through to see Rhuaridh?’
Ellen looked over Kristie’s shoulder. ‘This is very personal. I have to ask that you don’t film anything about this case.’
Kristie nodded. ‘Of course not.’
‘In that case, the final question in the tool—it’s about self-harm. It asks if the mum has ever felt that way. If she answers anything other than no, I always need to have a conversation with the GP.’
Kristie felt her voice shake. ‘So, what do you do for mums who feel like that?’
Ellen gave her a thoughtful look. ‘It all depends on the mum. Some I visit more, every day if I have to. Some I get some other support—like a few hours at nursery for one, or both of their kids. Some Rhuaridh will see. He might decide to start them on some medication, or to refer them to the community mental health nurse, or even to a consultant. Whatever will help the mum most.’
Kristie leaned back against the wall, taking in everything that was being said. The mum was in with Rhuaridh for a while. By the time she came out, she was wiping her eyes but seemed a bit better. It was as if a little spark had appeared in her eyes again. Maybe she finally felt as if someone was listening.
Kristie waited until the clinic was finished then found Rhuaridh while he was writing up some notes.
‘That mum? What did you do for her?’
He looked a little surprised by her question but gestured for her to close the door. ‘Sit down,’ he said.
She took a deep breath and sat down on the chair next to him. ‘I talked to her,’ he said quietly.
‘That’s it?’ She couldn’t hide how taken aback she felt.
‘And I listened,’ he added.
‘But her questionnaire...’ she began.
He held up his hand. ‘Her questionnaire is just a little bit of her. It’s a snapshot in time. I listened. I listened to how she was feeling and talked to her and let her know that some of this is normal for a new mum. She’s beyond tired. She hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in two years. How do you think that would impact on anyone’s mental health?’
‘But you let her leave...’ Her voice trailed off, as her mind jumped ahead.
‘I let her leave with an assurance of some support systems in place. While she was here, she phoned her sister and asked her to take the kids overnight. She’s coming back to see me again tomorrow and we’ll talk again.’
‘Oh.’ Kristie sagged into the chair a little. Her stomach still churned.
There was so much here that was tumbling around in her brain. She knew that most of the thoughts she was having weren’t rational—they were all tinged by her own experience. That desperate sense of panic.
She took a few breaths and tried to put her counselling head on. The one she used three nights a month. Rhuaridh had taken time to talk to the mother and acknowledge her feelings—usually the single most important act someone could do. Then he’d arranged follow up and support. Just like she would hope and expect from a health professional.
Rhuaridh leaned forward and put his hand over hers. ‘Kristie, is everything all right?’
And for the first time in her life she wasn’t quite sure how to answer. Should she tell him? Should she let him know she worked as a counsellor and what she’d been through herself?
Her mouth was dry. He was looking at her with those bright blue eyes—staring right at her as though he could see right down to her very soul. To all the things she kept locked away tight. Part of her wanted to tell him. Part of her wanted to share.
But something was stopping her. Something wouldn’t let her open her mouth and say those words. So before she could think about it any longer, she got up and rushed out.
CHAPTER FIVE
September
‘YOU’VE NEVER WATCHED?’
Rhuaridh shook his head as Magda cradled baby Alice. She gave him a curious smile. ‘I can’t believe it. You should. I have to admit, I’m almost a little jealous.’
‘Of what?’
He was drinking a large cup of coffee while he compared a few notes with her on a few of their chronically ill patients. On Arran, a doctor would never really be off duty, and Magda was far too nosy not to want to discuss some of their long-term cases.
‘Of you.’ She waved one hand while she fixed her gaze back on her fair-haired daughter while she screwed up her nose and gave a sigh. ‘But no. If I’d been in the show that wouldn’t have worked anyway.’
Rhuaridh put down his cup and held out his hands. ‘Give me my goddaughter and tell me what on earth you’re talking about.’
Magda stood up and put Alice into his arms, before settling back and putting her feet up on the sofa. ‘It’s all about the chemistry.’
‘Chemistry? I thought you didn’t like chemistry. You always complained about it when we were students.’
She shook her head and looked at him as if he was completely dumb. ‘Not school chemistry. Chemistry. You know...between a man and a woman. Phew! If I need to teach you about the birds and bees I’m going to question whether you should be working as a doctor.’
He shifted in the chair, realising where this was going to go. He shook his head and Alice wrinkled her face. He stopped moving. He knew who was in charge here.
He spoke quietly. ‘I’ve no interest in watching myself on TV. I know everything that’s happened—not all of which I’m entirely proud of.’
She gave a sigh. ‘You know. They edit things. And they’ve edited the show for the drama. To be honest, I’m surprised we’ve not got women heading to Arran by the boatload.’ She raised one eyebrow. ‘They always seem to catch your good side.’
‘Do I have a bad side?’ he teased.
But it was almost as if Magda was still talking to herself. ‘Then again, most of the women would know they wouldn’t get a look in. The chemistry between you and Kristie...’ she kissed her fingertips then flicked out her fingers ‘...is just off the scale.’ She gave him a smile. ‘You’re doing so much better than the others in the show. I can’t even watch the country and western singer. And the astronaut is possibly the most arrogant person on and off the planet.’
His mind was spinning. Was everyone who was watching thinking the same thing about him and Kristie? He felt like some teenage boy under scrutiny. He hadn’t even really worked out what was going on between them.
He liked her. He knew he liked her. But anything more just seemed...ridiculous.
But was it?
Alice made a little noise in his arms. Magda closed her eyes. ‘She didn’t sleep a wink last night.’
‘Didn’t she?’
Rhuaridh looked around and glimpsed the pram near the doorway. ‘Do you want me to take her for a walk? Mac is mooching around outside anyway. I was planning on taking him for a walk.’
‘Would you?’ As she said the words she snuggled down further into the sofa. ‘Just an hour would be great.’
Rhuaridh smiled and settled Alice into the pram, closing the door as quietly as he could behind him.
Mac gave him a look. Rhuaridh wagged his finger. ‘Don’t get jealous, old one. Just get in line. We’ve got a new boss now.’
‘Really?’
Rhuaridh nearly jumped. Kristie was standing behind him with a bag in her hand.
‘Where did you come from?’
She grinned. ‘LA. You know, America.’ She made signals with her hands. ‘Then a plane and a boat.’
‘Okay, okay, I get it.’
She was wearing a pair of black and white checked trousers and a black shirt tied at her waist. Her hair was l
oose about her shoulders and she seemed totally at ease as she leaned over him and looked into the pram. ‘I came to see my favourite girl, but I see you’ve already kidnapped her. Whaddya say we share?’
Rhuaridh gripped the pram a little tighter as he smiled back. ‘Ah, but this is my goddaughter. And this is the first time I’ve actually managed to kidnap her.’
Kristie made the little clicking noise she always did when she was thinking. He leaned a little closer and caught a whiff of her light zesty perfume. ‘To tell you the truth, I think Mac’s a little jealous.’
Kristie dropped to her knees and rubbed Mac’s head, bending down to put her head next to his. ‘Poor boy. Is he neglecting you again?’ She wrapped her hand around Mac’s lead. ‘How about we take turns? I’ll take Mac, then swap you on the way back.’
Rhuaridh gave a nod and they started to walk down towards the town. The weather was bright with just a little edge in the air. Kristie chatted constantly, telling him about plane delays and double-booked accommodation. It didn’t take long for her to turn the conversation back to work. ‘Have you seen that young mum again?’
Rhuaridh gave her a sideways glance. Last time he’d seen Kristie she’d been more than a little preoccupied about the case. She’d rushed out the room when he’d asked her if something was wrong, and the next day she’d left to go back to LA. He hadn’t seen her since.
He’d been curious about why she’d been so concerned. He’d had enough experience in life to know when to tread carefully. People didn’t come with a label attached declaring their past life experiences.
‘I’ve seen her quite a lot—so has Ellen, the health visitor. She’s talking, and I don’t think she’s going to feel better overnight, but I think if we have adequate support systems in place, and an open-door policy, I think she’ll continue to make improvements. Ellen has visited her at home a lot—talked through how she’s feeling about things. They’ve even been out walking together—like we are today.’
Tempted by the Hot Highland Doc Page 8
