by Bijou Hunter
“I had noticed that about her.”
Stroking my bare jaw, Nev exhales. “I could join you for lunch right now, but I’d rather not listen to Colton burping.”
“Based on how loudly he’s doing it right now, I suspect you’ll hear it no matter where you go.”
“Are you asking me to join you?” she teases, stroking my calf with her foot. “Is it because you’re intimidated by Maverick?”
I glance back at her brother cutting his food like a normal human being rather than a robot. Returning my gaze to Nev’s gorgeous face, I share her smile.
“Why would I be?”
“He intimidates Brickly.”
I don’t mention the nickname she’s given him. Based on what I know about the twins, the Majors women like to mess with people.
“Brick isn’t comfortable in his own skin. Or at least, he didn’t use to be. I imagine a lot of men intimidate him.”
“Mav’s a pussycat,” she murmurs and rests her hand on my chest. “But every kitty has claws.”
I think to mention how I’m not a cat person. Except Raimi said something last night about wanting a cat like Nev has. Best to embrace silence rather than send this sexy woman into freeze mode again.
“Tomorrow at eleven,” I say, feeling eyes on us.
Smiling, she nods and pats my cheek. Then, we’re forced to separate. She heads to the kitchen while I join the men back at the table.
Colton stops eating with the speed of a man afraid his food might be stolen. He smiles at me. “I was really stupid when I met Stella.”
“Young men will do that.”
“Did you get stupid with your woman?” Colton asks as his dark eyes lock on my face. “Your kids’ mom.”
“No.”
Brick tenses next to me. Maverick reveals no reaction. Colton, though, stares into my eyes in the way prison guys do when they want to fuck.
“Your face isn’t doing what you think it is,” I tell my president while cutting into my chicken steak.
“What’s it doing?”
“If I didn’t know you were so into Stella, I’d guess you were flirting with me.”
Maverick smirks before his face returns to emotionless. Colton chuckles, and Brick settles down.
“I was just curious,” Colton says. “I have three sisters, and I’m a bit of a mama’s boy. So, I’m really into gossip.”
“Understandable.”
“And Nevaeh never had any interest in guys before.”
“She dated guys during her teens,” Maverick says with his mouth full.
“I always thought she was a lesbian,” Colton replies while Brick looks around for a new conversation topic.
“No, she’s dated guys.”
“But she lived with a woman,” Colton tells his VP.
“I’m aware of that. I helped her move.”
“I just didn’t realize she was into guys until she threw herself at Handsome Sam.”
“You’re only looking to have the one kid, right?” Maverick asks Colton.
“No, I want a litter.”
“My sister possesses a wide foot. She made a conscious choice to only destroy that guy’s single ball.”
“She won’t hurt me. I’m her favorite Johansson.”
“No, she likes Stella more,” Maverick says.
“Don’t blame her. My woman’s a ray of fucking sunshine.”
I’m glad the conversation switched away from Nev’s and my past relationships. I don’t care where she’s been. I sure-as-shit hope she doesn’t obsess over my past. Life’s too short to worry about how we arrived at this moment.
With Nev, I’m far more interested in where the journey takes us next.
THE CRACKERJACK
Men are such gossipy hens. Kiefer was likely the one to rat out my flirting to the twins. Why else would they show up at my house with their crotch goblins on the same afternoon I fondled Sam? Hell, how did they even know I was home?
Avery and Savannah share the same face and similar qualities. Growing up, I often could only tell them apart based on their outfits. As usual, Avery wears her “always just about to hit the beach” outfit with black leggings and a loose baby blue surf-themed T-shirt. Normally, Savannah embraces her inner Southern belle with dresses and skirts. Today, Twin#2 sports a polka-dotted maternity monstrosity. She’s fortunate enough to be hot, or else people would likely mock her.
With the twins are my niece and nephews. Io is a moody little bitch. I very much admire her ability to give zero fucks what other people think. Avery has only one goblin from her actual crotch. Jett is Kiefer’s kid with a tramp who is very likely dead now. The boy’s shy around most people, but he thinks I’m cool because I come with animals.
Finally, there’s Savannah’s only freed crotch goblin. If I could have a kid exactly like Pollux, I might consider it. Yet, I suspect he’s probably awful when I’m not looking. No human being can be an honest-to-goodness angel. Pollux is clearly pulling a con.
The three blond kiddos are wearing variations of the same outfit. The twins managed to avoid dressing like each other all their lives. Yet, their natural need for people to match got dumped on their offspring.
My fur-babies are thrilled to see the kids. The small dogs think tiny humans are great. Though I normally don’t want devious little fingers around my babies, Jett, Io, and Pollux are gentle. I’ve never even seen them fight with each other.
“Have I mentioned I like your house?” Avery asks, buttering me up while Savannah waddles her pregnant ass to the couch and settles into the corner.
“Yes. You thought it was an eclectic mix of hippie chic and modern sensibilities.”
“Memorized that, did you?”
“You rarely compliment me. So, yeah, I wrote that one down and pinned it to my mirror to ensure I never forget.”
A smiling Avery joins her twin on the couch, where they watch me.
“I don’t have food if that’s what you’re here for,” I say and open a cabinet where I stash toys for the crotch goblins.
The three kids are torn between playing with the dogs and building with blocks. Eventually, they decide Ghost and Galileo can help them construct a house.
“We heard how you were all over Handsome Sam at the clubhouse today,” Savannah says as her hands fondle her bump.
Knowing the twins’ tricks, I refuse to get double-teamed. “I might be lonely.”
Instantly, they lose their snarky expressions. Avery leans forward. “Lonely how?”
“Like humans are prone to do.”
“No, but are you lonely from missing life at the hotel with your favorite people, or do you mean lonely vaginally-wise?”
“You aren’t my favorite people.”
“Why move to Pema if you weren’t obsessed with us?” Savannah asks, and the twins share a smile.
Rolling my eyes, I don’t know why their buddy-buddy shit still bothers me. I’ve spent my entire life with these two dorks hopelessly in love with each other. I’m surprised they found men willing to endure their twin-crazy.
“Mom and Dad are my favorite people,” I clarify and sit in my gold chair. “Duh.”
“Then, why move away from them?”
“Heartbreak,” Savannah suggests, answering her twin’s question.
“Should you two just talk to each other rather than involving me?”
“We’re here to support you.”
“Uh-huh.”
“We’re also curious,” Avery says. “Like Handsome Sam is sexy and all, but we were under the impression you were no longer cock-curious.”
“I’ve already dated all the interesting men in Ellsberg. Giving up dick wasn’t a choice as much as based on circumstances.”
“But you lived with Yulia.”
“I know. I was there.”
“Don’t be angry,” Savannah coos.
“I’m unaffected by your baby bump, so skip trying to manipulate me.”
“Handsome Sam has issues,” Avery says and the
n shrugs. “Like he’s adjusting, and we’re worried about your interest.”
“Whoa, now, you’re here to support him, not me?”
“Of course. You’re tough. We figured you don’t need our coddling.”
“Very butch,” Savannah adds. “You’re Maverick with boobs.”
“Boobs,” Io says without looking at us.
I frown at where the kids build on the floor. The dogs have chosen to nap next to them. Since I’m not made out of stone, I smile at how adorable my babies look with my niece and nephews.
My gaze returns to the twins to find them plotting.
“What’s your concern?” I ask before they can devise a plan.
“Mainly, he lost his wife.”
“Were they married?”
“Legally?” Avery asks and shrugs. “Unlikely. Anyway, they had a family. She died while he was gone. We doubt he’s processed his grief. Might be a mistake to jump in bed with you right away.”
“Have you shared your concerns with him?”
“Of course not. He’s a stranger.”
“Are you really concerned, or is this coming from Kiefer?”
“My man thinks Handsome Sam is lucky to find such a hot piece of tail. He’s very impressed by our family in general and knows how blessed any man would be to hit this,” Avery says, gesturing at herself. “You’re like me but more masculine.”
“I’m currently dressed sexier than you are.”
Avery shrugs and mutters, “I know, but I refuse to be insecure.”
“What action by me would soothe your concerns, Shabooh Shoobah?” I ask, using their nicknames for each other.
“Back off until he’s settled in.”
“What about his dick?” I ask, and Io, of course, repeats the word. The kid has magical powers to know which adult words are naughty. “Sam’s been locked up for years without access to pussy.”
Avery frowns. “Stop trying to get her to say the cuss words.”
“Pussy isn’t a cuss word,” I correct. “It’s the medical term for snatch.”
As the twins laugh, Avery shrugs. “Look, I don’t mind her saying bad words. Cussing is a favorite hobby of mine, but I can’t have her manipulated by anyone. And you’re most definitely playing puppet master with your word choices.”
“You need to worry less, or else you’ll get more frown lines than the other one. Soon, people will be able to tell you apart based on wrinkles alone.”
“No,” Savannah says, patting Avery’s hand. “I’ll frown just like you to even it out.”
Avery and Savannah do their twin smile where they see no one beyond each other.
Before I become irritated and walk away, Cornflake jumps into my lap and gets comfortable. Now trapped, I ask, “Doesn’t Sam deserve some fun?”
“But you’re so hot and interesting,” Savannah says while Avery nods. “He’s bound to fall hard for you.”
“And why is that bad?”
“You’re ill-suited for each other.”
Nodding, Avery adds, “Last night, Savannah, Violet, and I did the math, and you’re just not right for Handsome Sam.”
“It’s just fucking.”
I hope Io will repeat the word. Unfortunately, she’s too busy giggling at something Pollux does with the blocks. Io reminds me so much of Sylvie sometimes.
“Don’t frown at her like that,” Avery mutters.
“What if she turns into our youngest sister?”
Avery looks to Savannah for comfort. “It’ll be fine.” Her twin strokes her head and focuses on me. “Your distraction skills are wonderful.”
“Thank you. Learned everything I know from Mom.”
“Why did you leave Ellsberg?”
“I already told you.”
“To look for a new dick?”
“No. I wanted a fresh start.”
“After Yulia?” Savannah asks.
“Yes.”
“Then, maybe you’re not emotionally ready for a new relationship, either.”
Avery smiles at how her twin landed a psychological punch.
“But that’s the thing right there. I failed at the best relationship I’ve ever had. Thought she was my one and only like Mom and Dad have. Instead, I failed, or she did. I go back and forth on who’s to blame. Still, I can’t do the romance crap like you two. That makes me a perfect rebound hookup for Sam. He can work through his feelings by using my snatch, and I can distract from my loneliness by riding his dick.”
“Wait, you’re really lonely?”
“Yes, but not in a way that you visiting more would help.”
Avery stands up, walks to me, and kneels in front of my chair. “You’re grieving your lost relationship.”
“Yeah, so?”
“I felt the same way with Bran.”
“The shitty version of her husband?” I ask, gesturing at Savannah, who is married to Bran’s twin, Bjorn. “That’s the turd you grieved?”
“Not him as much as the lost dreams I’d created for my future with him.”
Admittedly, I’d pictured a life with Yulia. We seemed to complement each other. I envisioned us traveling and spending holidays with each other’s families. I imagined getting old with Yulia and enjoying the kind of comfortable love my parents still share after thirty years together.
But none of that happened.
It still could, I guess. I could return to Ellsberg, try to get Yulia back, fix our issues, and live the dream life I’d concocted in my head. But that shit’s never happening.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I tell the twin still kneeling in front of me.
A triumphant Avery glances back at Savannah, who struggles not to applaud.
“But that’s why I’m perfect for Handsome Sam. He needs an outlet for his dick, and I’m ill-equipped for more.”
The twins eye each other, trying to decide if my idea works for them. I pet my orange furball and ignore my sisters. Jett stops building, walks over to me, and asks if he can pet Cornflake.
“She hates most people,” I warn him, and his little lips pout immediately. “But you’re one of the cool ones.”
Grinning now, he stands next to the chair and gives a loudly purring Cornflake all the good loving.
“You’re good with kids,” Avery says, returning to Savannah.
“I realize I like them when I know they’ll leave soon.”
The twins share a frown as if my disinterest in breeding is a terrible trait.
“Not everyone needs tiny humans in their immediate life to be happy.”
“It’s just our family is exceptional,” Savannah says, and Avery, of course, nods. “We really should fill the world with more versions of ourselves.”
“You both have two. River wants at least three to defeat Shane’s two.”
“Very mature of our oldest brother to create children to win against his best friend,” Savannah mutters.
“Maverick will likely have one,” I continue as Io and Pollux join Jett to pet Cornflake. “That’s already what Mom and Dad managed.”
“Denver likes kids, so he’ll have some,” Avery adds.
Savannah nods. “Cavalry is good with them. He might have one. We’re reaching ten grand-angels with those numbers.”
“And Sylvie will likely own a small monkey she’ll dress as a baby,” I say while surrounded by small humans that I’m very worried will randomly puke on me. “And that’s almost the same thing.”
“Huh, you two with your fur-babies are a lot alike,” Avery says, flashing Savannah a grin.
“Is that your way of asking me to kick you out of my house?”
Savannah shakes her head. “You’re both very strong and independent.”
“Sylvie spends all her waking moments with Denver, Cav, or our parents. In what way is she independent?”
The twins shrug in unison. To the crotch goblins’ dismay, Cornflake suddenly stands and jumps off my lap. They watch her leave before frowning at me.
“What can I tell
you?” I say, shrugging. “Cornflake needs her space.”
“Did we hurt her?” Jett asks.
“No, she just didn’t want more attention. But the dogs can never get enough.”
That sends the three small humans back to where Galileo and Ghost roll around on their fluffy round pillow. The kids join the dogs, who bark enthusiastically at the attention.
“We want you to be happy,” Savannah says, sounding too sincere.
Avery nods immediately. “Yeah, we didn’t understand why you moved to Pema when you seemed happy in Ellsberg.”
“You brought along your best friend and your pets.”
Nodding again, Avery adds, “And convinced Sawyer Johansson to open up a Whiskey Kirk’s in Pema.”
“It was like you were transferring your Ellsberg life here.”
“So why leave home at all?”
Savannah gives me a sympathetic smile. “But now we understand how you were fleeing a broken heart and bad memories.”
“That makes us feel protective of you.”
Hoping to stop their twin back-and-forth, I ask, “Does that mean you’ll get off my back about Sam?”
“Sure. He did right by the club and Kiefer,” Savannah says. “We want him to be happy, and you’re a sexy, single woman with a strong head on your shoulders.”
“For whatever reason, your praise makes me want to slap you.”
“We’ve noticed that,” Avery says, smirking. “Please, don’t ruin Sam for all other women and then dump him. It’ll make me feel guilty for having a garbage heap of a sister.”
“What if he ruins me for all other men and dumps me?”
“You weren’t that into men, to begin with,” Avery says, standing up and helping Savannah to her feet.
“We need to get home for dinner. Would you like to join us?”
“Which house are you eating at?”
“Mine,” Savannah says. “Kiefer is on his way over.”
“What are you serving?”
“Good Lord, you’re a pest,” Savannah mutters and waddles toward the door. “You should want to join us based on our company rather than the menu.”
“You’d think that, but I already spent time with you today.”
“Then, don’t come.”
“Your mommy is grumpy,” I tell Pollux.
The blond ball of sunshine smiles big for my benefit. “I love you.”
