by Lisa Campell
Chapter Four
Colin had not expected that he and Lavinia would get along so easily, so soon after he had returned following such a long absence. She was just as he remembered before he left home. Strong willed and determined. He admired all of those things about her. He had been pleased that she had asked about his travels. He had not come to expect that anyone would. That anyone cared particularly at all, why he had left, or why he had returned, but she had.
He found he could not stop thinking about her. She was a free spirit. She had been quite bothersome in the earlier years, and could still be intrusive, but he began to see her in a whole new light. In all the years he had been away, she had blossomed into a beautiful lady. He was quite certain that at her debut ball, many suitors would fall in line for her. He swallowed hard at that thought and found it did not please him.
Suddenly, his father appeared. "Colin. I am glad I have found you. I need to show you something."
Colin snapped out of his reverie, becoming conscious of where he was seated in the study, an old book of his mother's in his hand.
He turned gloomy at the sight of it. He sighed. He had come into the study to read some old books of his mothers. Most times, he liked to do things that he felt would bring him closer to her, things that he felt would help him know her or feel her presence. For he had never known her himself, she had died giving birth to him. He shuddered at the thought, that he had been the reason for her death. He felt her everywhere around him, and he wanted that, to feel her presence always. It was why he had taken to painting, to feel closer to her.
"Your mother's book?" his father asked. He took a seat on the cushion and relaxed into it. "I presume that you are enjoying your return?"
"A lot of things have changed here, father." He set the book down. "But I am adapting as I can."
The Duke nodded. "Of course you are."
The clock before him made a sound. His brows raised. An hour had gone by. It was time for his lesson with Lavinia.
"Are you heading somewhere?" the Duke asked, clearly feeling dismissed.
Colin nodded. "Another lesson with Lavinia."
"Of course."
Colin nodded. "You wanted to show me something?"
"Yes. Yes. I wanted to bring you up to date on everything with the estate, the land holdings and the rest."
Colin creased his brows. "Is it really necessary?"
The Duke chuckled. "You are my heir. You have to know everything there is to know about the estate and the Duchy as well. One day, all of this responsibility will be yours. You have to be ready."
Colin knew that his father was right, but he felt as though he would never be ready, no matter how much he tried, but he kept his feelings to himself.
"Of course, Father."
"Go on to Lavinia. We will have our time together later."
Colin nodded. He placed the book he had been reading back in its place, and then, after inclining his head towards his father, he headed out. He let out a breath he had been holding. He always felt uneasy when with his father. They had never had a good relationship. He thought that perhaps his father blamed him for his mother's death. Colin would not blame him if he did, he knew he deserved it.
He walked out to the garden and looked around, seeking Lavinia. She was not there. He turned to a maid who stood by. "Have you seen Lady Lavinia?"
The maid shifted uncomfortably. "She waited here a while, before heading towards the stables…"
Colin nodded. He rose immediately and headed there, as he approached, he heard the horses, footsteps and laughter.
"There, boy. There." He heard Lavinia say.
Colin's eyes widened when he saw Lavinia in the stables. Her mother had said that she did things unladylike. He presumed that coming here must be one of them.
He clasped his hands behind him and cleared his throat. She seemed startled, turning so quickly that she lost her balance and stumbled. He was quick, moving forward, and he caught her just in time. His own heart pounded as he did this, trying to hold her steady. Her head resting against his arm.
Lavinia looked up at him. He wished she had not. Her hazel eyes stared into his, and he was mesmerized by them. Her lashes were long. Her eyes were beautiful. The way she stared at him, it made him feel quite nervous. He felt a shiver through his spine, and his heartbeat was faster than usual. It felt as though he needed to hold her that way, for a long time. He did not feel like letting go.
The horses neighed, and Lavinia averted her gaze, breaking whatever it was between them. She stood back on her own two feet and leaned away from him. She looked at him briefly, before looking away. "Thank you."
He cast his gaze away, looking at the restless horses and the stable boy, who tended to them.
"We should begin our lesson," he said simply.
She nodded. "Yes. Of course."
She waved farewell the stable boy and walked out. He followed behind her.
"I think it is inappropriate that you go into the stables."
Lavinia shrugged. "I just like to tend to the horses."
"It is not your work to do."
"I am well aware."
She walked back to the courtyard and took a seat. She grinned when he sat opposite her. "Tell me, My Lord, what I shall be relearning today."
He chuckled softly, "Lavinia —"
She held up her hand. "Wait. I have come to the conclusion that the lessons are completely boring."
His heart fell when she said that. He creased his brows. "How so?"
"It is merely a lot of talking."
"What would you prefer, My Lady?"
Lavinia tilted her head to the side. “There must be some way to make the lessons a bit more..." she trailed off, making gesticulations with her hand. "Interesting." She stared at him and grinned again.
"And what do you have in mind?" He was intrigued.
"I thought about music, playing an instrument, the pianoforte for example - but that would also bore me. I know how to do that already. I thought about riding, reading —" She scrunched her face. "Certainly not reading."
He stifled his chuckle. The expressions she made as she spoke were exceedingly hilarious. She scrunched her lips, creased her brows, then widened her eyes. It was all too much, and probably what her mother considered unladylike, she also talked far too much.
"...so I finally arrived at a conclusion." She sighed and fluttered her lashes. "Painting!”
He raised both his brows. "Painting?"
"Yes, yes. That. It was the best I could think of. It would not bore me. I'd be more interested in the lessons if we added painting to it. I'd learn —"
"I was never aware you had such passion for painting."
"Ah...I do. I mean, I have passion for many things. Painting is one of them."
"I see. I'll consider that, Lavinia. But now, we must proceed with the lesson for today."
"Followed by painting?"
He shook his head. "No, Lavinia."
"I think it would be a great —"
"No! Certainly not," he snapped.
"Why not painting?"
"Simply because I said so, Lavinia! There is really no need to be so insistent on this!" He immediately regretted snapping at her, when he saw her expression change, but he wanted her to understand that he could not do that. He had given up painting a long time ago. Since Paris, he had not picked up a brush. He did not deserve such a talent. Not after everything. Not at all.
"Alright," she said. Her smile was gone. She was staring at him as though he were a stranger. "Let us proceed."
He didn't like that her mood had suddenly changed. He was quiet for a bit, he wanted to apologize immediately but he wondered what use it was that if he was not going to agree to what she wanted. He sighed.
"When you walk into the ballroom, rather than grin, you must smile demurely," he began.
He proceeded with the lesson. She remained quiet throughout and did all that he asked, but made no conversation, or laughed, or any of
her delightful and hilarious facial expressions.
"Like this?" she asked, as she stood to practice her smile and wave.
She stood before him, her hand in the air, moving slowly.
"You place your other hand across your stomach, while the other is up."
She did as instructed. Then raised both her brows. "Am I doing it right?"
He grinned. But she did not return it. "Perfectly," he assured her.
When the lesson was done, she rose immediately, curtsied and walked away towards the house. It felt wrong. He wanted to run after her. To explain to her why he had stopped painting, but he did not. Instead, he closed his eyes and relived the memories he wished would vanish.
Chapter Five
With the reports reaching her mother that the lessons were going well, the planning for the debut ball was all Lavinia heard about in the days that followed. The Duchess spent most of her time organizing the ballroom the way she wanted it, directing the maids on what to do, where to place the flowers, how to set the lighting.
Lavinia was most uncomfortable with all the arrangements.
"Would you prefer lilacs or roses, darling?" the Duchess asked, when she walked into Lavinia's bed chambers. Lavinia glanced at her but said nothing.
"Do you intend to go out like this?" the Duchess asked, walking further into the bed chamber.
Lavinia creased her brows. "How?"
"Your hair. It is unruly."
Lavinia touched her hair and turned to the mirror. The ends seemed a bit tangled, she supposed, but it really was not a bother.
"Rebecca."
"Yes, Your Grace?" Rebecca responded, bowing her head.
"Do something about Lady Lavinia’s hair, at once."
While Lavinia sat and fumed over what her mother’s comments, Rebecca began pulling a comb through her hair to untangle it, then, she pulled part of it back and into a bun. The loose sections around Lavinia’s face she began to curl using a curling iron that made her flinch every time it came near her.
After Rebecca curled her hair, she handed Lavinia her pearl earrings and stood aside.
"Thank you," Lavinia said.
The Duchess narrowed her eyes at her. "Lavinia."
"Yes, Mother?"
"Where are you heading today, Lavinia?"
"To the orphanage," she said, and to Rebecca. "My cloak?"
Rebecca brought it over as asked and stood aside. The Duchess walked over to Lavinia, studying her. Lavinia faced her. "Is there something you'd like to discuss, Mother?"
"Your hair looks beautiful." The Duchess touched one of the curled ringlets that framed Lavinia’s face. "Lavinia. I understand that you are not pleased with the situation at hand. I understand that you do not want any of this, but you must know, that all I wish is the best for you."
Lavinia cast her gaze down. Perhaps her mother did wish the best for her, but she wished that her mother would listen to her sometimes. Most days, it felt as though her mother never cared about what Lavinia wanted for herself. It would be lovely to have a simple conversation with her, to share her true desires, however, Lavinia could not, for she knew that it would simply end in an argument. She simply smiled at the Duchess instead.
"Of course, Mother."
Then she rose and slipped on her cloak. "I must visit the children today."
"And what about your lesson with Colin?"
She swallowed. Since Colin had snapped at her for suggesting painting during their lessons, she had avoided him. She was not ready to face him. His reaction to her mere suggestion had hurt her deeply, and he had not seemed to care that she had been hurt. She was not ready to see him or speak to him.
"It shall wait until I return."
"I presume you have informed Colin of your plans?"
Lavinia nodded slowly. The Duchess shook her head. "You did not inform him."
"I will. I shall inform him now, before I leave."
"You should have spoken to him before now. I see you are as rude as ever.”
Lavinia had no plans of speaking to him, much less of telling him that she was going to the orphanage. However, it was better to not argue with her mother.
She simply said, "I will inform him now."
Lavinia inclined her head before heading out of her bedchamber. She walked down the stairs. All she needed to do was go to the stables, saddle a horse and be on her merry way, with Rebecca chaperoning her, of course. She did not want the footman, Arnold to tell the Duke and Duchess how her day went, when questioned. He never covered for her. She trusted that Rebecca knew when to do so.
Her thoughts were halted as she recalled that she was supposed to inform Colin of her change in plans before she went ahead. She snorted. She was not going to tell him. Perhaps this was a way for Colin to pay for how badly he had treated her the day prior, to leave him waiting. She grinned at the thought.
When she got to the bottom of the stairs, however, she heard him calling her name. She turned to see Colin approaching her. She swallowed hard as she watched him come toward her. He sauntered over in a black coat, black breeches and black boots, which made his snow-white shirt and cravat stand out. It did well to emphasize on his dark hair and the blue eyes and she found herself unable to look away from. When he got close enough to her, he pressed his lips in a thin line and called her name again. "Lavinia."
She willed herself to look away. She wanted to walk around him, but she heard her mother above them. She closed her eyes and sighed. Now she had to speak to Colin. "Colin, thank goodness I found you. I had been in search of you."
He looked taken aback. "Oh?"
"Yes. I won’t be available for the lesson today. I have to visit the children at the orphanage."
"Oh. I was about to inform you that I may be a bit late, I have a meeting with my father."
"Oh. Splendid for us both, then."
"Perhaps if I hadn't had this meeting, I'd have gone with you to see the orphanage?" He smiled.
She narrowed her eyes. She was about to retort when she heard her mother's voice. "What a grand idea, Colin."
The Duchess made her way down the stairs. "You could accompany her."
"He has a meeting, Mother." Lavinia sighed. "I am going with Rebecca, Mother, there is no need for any more companions surely."
"Nonsense dear, Colin will go with you." The Duchess shook her head. "Your father will understand. Is that not right Colin?"
Colin smiled. "Perhaps, if you could beg my leave?"
"Oh, please, I insist on it."
"Why are you insisting, Mother?" Lavinia asked the Duchess.
The Duchess smiled. "He can watch you. So that you do nothing out of place to disgrace this entire household."
Lavinia closed her eyes to calm her raging thoughts. She could not believe this was happening. That her mother was even suggesting this and insulting her in this way.
"Mother..."
"I shall talk to your father, dear. You must go with Lavinia. An open carriage shall be provided."
Lavinia groaned. "I want to take a horse."
"A horse will be fine," Colin said, agreeably.
Lavinia could tell that he was enjoying this. She glared at him and walked out.
"Be good, darling," her mother called after her.
Lavinia headed out of the house, and not once did she look back to see if he was coming, but she knew that he was.
The orphanage was quiet when she got there. Miss Dorset, one of the women who ran the orphanage, came out to welcome her. She was chubby and smiled a lot, her blonde hair was often pulled up in a neat bun, and not a hair was put out of place.
"My Lady..." She curtsied to Lavinia, then waited for her to make the introduction.
Lavinia smiled. "Miss Dorset, this is Lord Grandview. My step brother."
Miss Dorset curtsied again. Colin acknowledged her with a nod and a smile.
"The children have been asking after you. They are quite persistent." She ushered them in, while casting a sideways glance at Colin.<
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