by Lisa Campell
She blushed at his action. She liked the feel of his lips against her hand, and the way he held her, she felt cherished. She felt a need surge through her in that moment, and she was pleased that she had awoken to him beside her. He rose suddenly, and her heart leapt as he did.
She held on to his hand. She swallowed when he gazed at her, stunned at how she had reached out so quickly. She began to speak, she asked the first question that came to mind, so as not to give herself away for the true reason she held him in such a way, which was because she did not want him to leave her side.
"Where is everyone? Mother? Rebecca?" she inquired.
Colin smiled. "Asleep."
Her eyes widened. "Is it late?"
He looked at the window. His shoulders sagged. "Indeed. But I will inform the Duchess that you have awoken. She instructed that I do so, the moment you opened your eyes."
She did not want him to leave. She did not want him to let go of her hand. She liked the warmth it provided. She liked him beside her, caring for her, kissing her hands. If he called everyone, she would not have him this close to her again.
"Stay with me," she said. "Mother, as well as every other member of this household, will be aware that I have awoken by morning. We do not need to awaken anyone at this hour."
Her voice came out in a whisper. "Stay with me."
His eyes brightened. He did as asked. He returned to his previous position and held on to her hand. Her heartbeat quickened when he brought her hand close to his lips again. She watched him intently, waiting, anticipating his kiss again.
However, as though he suddenly realized what he was doing, he let go of her.
He sighed. "Oh, Lavinia... I was so terrified!"
She smiled. "What happened?"
She tried to remember once again, and she did. Her eyes widened. The ball, the garden, and then, Colin calling for help. She remembered it all. She wondered what had made her unconscious.
She felt sharp pain in her stomach again. She shook her head and closed her eyes. Colin leaned in. "Lavinia? Are you alright?"
"Yes," she lied. She did not want him to worry. Colin sat back, relieved.
The pain she felt was gone now. She simply felt at ease. "Colin, I do not think I can fall asleep again tonight."
He smiled. "I shall be here with you."
She chuckled, her mind going back to her debut ball. "Such a ball that was. How did Mother take the outcome of the evening’s events?"
She saw him smile, right before he said, "she was concerned for your health."
Lavinia turned, so that she was facing him. "Mother would also be concerned about the ball and about the suitors, I am well aware."
Colin shook his head. "Yes, she was indeed, but she feared more about what had happened to you, more than she did about you not finding a suitor. It was quite a scare."
He was staring at her intently. His eyes searched hers, and she felt the pull between them. She felt her entire body shiver. She felt a need. A need to not only run her fingers through his hair, but to press her lips against his. She blinked rapidly to keep her thoughts clear.
Colin was still talking. "When you fell in my arms... I was so terrified, Lavinia."
Her heartbeat quickened, and she placed her hand over it. "Why?"
He frowned. He opened his mouth to speak, but then he began to stutter. "Because... because... I care about you. You are family, Lavinia."
Her anticipation died off just as quickly as it had appeared. For a moment, she had expected and hoped that he would say something else. Something entirely different from what he had. She forced a smile and rested back on the pillow. "Of course we are."
They were silent for a while, simply staring at each other. Lavinia’s thoughts were filled with lustful imaginations, and Colin was very much involved in them. She could not wait for morning to come, for she did not want to do something outrageous.
"I don't think I can sleep anymore," he said after a long stretch of silence.
Lavinia said nothing in response, but she watched him. He was looking around in an observant manner. Then he turned to her sharply. "I told you of how liberal the Spanish are…"
Lavinia leaned up and rested on her elbow. "Yes."
Colin rose and stood close to her. "Would you like to get up? I can help you get to the window seat, if you would like."
Her eyes widened. She sat up. "It is late, Colin."
“I will help you,” he said, holding out his hands.
The thought of being near him, practically in his arms, thrilled and excited her, however, the slight pain she still felt in her stomach made her hesitant. She did not want him to know about the pain. He was already worried a great deal for her.
He stretched out his hand. "We will be quiet. Come on."
Lavinia pondered the offer. Surely the pain was not so great that it could prevent her from going to the window seat. She touched her stomach lightly, hoping not to feel any pain at all. She did not.
Feeling excited and giddy, Lavinia placed her hand in his and rose. She was barefoot, the floor felt cold, but she liked it. She leaned against him as he wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting her. She could smell the scent of his skin, his cologne.
They both began to walk. “It almost feels as though we are dancing,” he said.
She laughed. "And what is this dance called?"
He winked. “The waltz,” he said, suddenly taking her in his arms. She looked up, into his eyes. He was supporting her. “I didn’t get to dance with you the night of your debut.”
She smiled, her throat tightening. Why didn’t she get to dance with him? Her memories of that night were unclear.
He suddenly began to move, slowly. She did as he did, allowing him to lead.
Colin was a terrific dancer. She found herself giggling as she mirrored him. He was smiling as well, his arms holding her up.
The simple box step was not so strenuous, and she was able to lean against him without using up too much energy.
Her eyes were wide, and so were his. Her cheeks flamed, and she felt a rush inside of her. She felt the need to inch further a little bit, so that their lips could touch. She felt the need to move her fingers through his hair. She swallowed hard as these desires ripped through her.
She wondered what would happen if she made a move. Her yearning grew when his eyes found hers again. Unable to control herself anymore, she closed the space between them, and placed her lips on his in a tentative manner. She closed her eyes and let her body mold against his. Her lips moved against his, and just for a second, she felt his lips move as well. She shivered at the feel of him against her.
However, he moved away very suddenly, and her lips felt the cold of the night. He stared at her with his brows creased. His eyes lost and... distant. She knew what he wished to say. She knew the questions he wished to ask. He would ask her why? And then he would go on to tell her she was his sister.
Embarrassment made her cheeks red. Rather than give him the chance to break her heart, she spoke immediately. "Pardon my misbehavior. It was a mistake and it shall never happen again. I wonder what I was thinking."
Now his expression changed. He looked perplexed. But he managed to get words out. "Oh. Of course."
She felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She gripped her stomach and hissed as the pain surged through her.
Colin held her. "What is wrong? Talk to me Lavinia," he said rapidly.
"My stomach. Pain."
He murmured something inaudible and took her to the bed. He held up the duvet and let her slip in between. He held her hand and sighed. "You should get some rest, Lavinia. The pain should go by then."
Lavinia nodded once. The pain made her weak. She said nothing, as Colin held on to her hand for the rest of the night. The silence between them grew, and eventually, Lavinia fell asleep, her mind filled with thoughts of the kiss they had shared, and her body, in pain.
When Lavinia awoke in the morning, she was surrounded - by her mother, the
Duke, Rebecca, and Colin.
The Duchess's eyes widened and she gasped, when Lavinia’s wandering gaze settled on her.
"I was terrified, dear. You have been unconscious for days." The Duchess moved back. "Colin never left your side."
Lavinia felt her cheeks redden.
"You look pale. You should rest...I will go down with Rebecca and have some gruel prepared to be brought up." The Duchess touched her hair and smiled down at Lavinia as she said this.
Lavinia smiled. The Duchess was making a fuss. She had not done that in a long time.
"How awful that this had to happen at your debut, my darling. You could have found the best suitor!" the Duchess went on. She grasped Lavinia’s hand in both of her own.
Behind the Duchess, the Duke merely gazed at them, smiling. Colin smiled at her as well. She was grateful for this, though she felt flushed anytime she saw him.
"Colin informed me that you still feel pains?"
At the mention of his name and the reminder of her stomachache, the events of the previous night graced her memory and her cheeks reddened further. "Yes. Yes, Mother."
"Then you are not to leave your bed chamber until it is gone."
"But, Mother..."
The Duchess shook her head. "No, no. You are to have adequate rest in order to recover fully. Mr. Rufus advised so."
Lavinia knew there was no way she would convince her mother to let her leave her bed. The pain in her stomach had been severe. Her mother was indeed right. She needed to rest. She realized that if she walked around too much, the pain would come again with much more force.
The Duke stepped forward. He touched her hand lightly and said. "Thank goodness you are alright."
Lavinia sucked in a breath at his gesture. She had never known that he cared for her. She nodded once, uncertain of what to say in return.
The Duchess clapped her hands, grinning. "Now, now, Lavinia needs her rest, and she cannot have that with all of us crowding in her bed chamber."
Lavinia shook her head. "I do not want to be alone, Mother."
The Duchess kissed her forehead. "It will only take a few minutes, dear. Everyone needs to go down for breakfast."
Lavinia wanted Colin by her side. So she expressed herself to her mother. "Colin could stay with me," she said offhandedly, as though it were a passing thought, and not something she deeply desired.
The Duchess shook her head. "Colin must prepare for breakfast and he has dark circles beneath his eyes. But not to worry, my dear —"
"Perhaps, Rebecca shall keep her company while a footman brings up her breakfast?" Colin said.
Lavinia looked at him. He looked away. She swallowed, suddenly recalling the night before. That kiss. She was tempted to place her hand on her lips, to feel his lips against hers.
"Splendid idea, Colin."
Everyone walked out of her bed chamber, Colin being the first. Lavinia was left alone with Rebecca, who proceeded to prepare a bath for her.
Chapter Fifteen
Colin went down for breakfast, just as the Duchess had insisted. For some odd reason, it felt like he should be eating breakfast with Lavinia. He felt strange that he was not by her bed side, that he did not have her hands in his. He sucked in a breath.
His memories flooded with what had transpired the night before. The dance with her, and then, the kiss. That kiss had been his undoing. He had wanted to do so much more than just kiss her. He had wanted to trail his lips all over her body. He had seen that as an opportunity to confess his feelings for her, but she had called the kiss they shared a mistake, which must mean that she regretted it.
"Your Grace. My Lord," he heard.
He was pulled back to reality by Spratt, who walked into the dining room then. He bowed to them all and held out a letter to the Duke.
"To whom is it addressed?" the Duke asked, turning the letter over. "It is from the orphanage, addressed to Lavinia."
“I did not think it wise to bring it to Lady Lavinia, in her current state,” Spratt said.
“You did well, Spratt,” the Duke said.
Colin did not want to seem too forward, but he was curious about the letter. The Duke turned it about and then he held it out to Colin. "Here. You visited the orphanage with her. Perhaps you will able to respond to them. Lavinia does not need this now. She needs to recover fully before being burdened."
Grateful, Colin took the letter. He sat back down and began to read.
Mrs. Dorset had written the letter.
Dear Lady Lavinia,
I hope this message finds you well. The children have been asking after you. Marie says you promised to bring her something and she hopes you make it on time for her birthday celebration.
Be well.
Best Regards
Mrs. A. Dorset.
Colin folded the letter and sighed.
The Duke was right. He knew that if he took the letter up to Lavinia, she would want to go to them, she would be insistent about it. If she was unable to go, she would be consumed with worry. He wanted Lavinia to recover fully without any bother.
He was certain that the Duchess would agree with his decision to keep this from Lavinia, for now.
He needed to respond to Mrs. Dorset. He would have loved to go visit the children himself; however, he could not leave Lavinia alone. He did not want to.
"Colin," the Duke commented. "You seem bothered. What does the letter say?"
"That the children miss Lavinia and wish to know if all is well."
The Duke nodded. "Such an impact she has made. You must send them a reply. Tell them that she is unwell, but shall visit when she is fully recovered. Do not mention that she was poisoned. We don’t want any more gossip than there already is."
Colin understood what he meant. He bowed and headed out of the dining room, happy to have left there. He walked into the hallway and headed into the study. He would also ask that more grain be sent to them. He headed into the study and began to write a response.
Dear Mrs. Dorset,
Your message was well received. I am afraid Lady Lavinia is convalescing with a bout of croup and shall be unable to visit for a few days. She sends her regards to the children. She recalls her promise to Marie.
Yours faithfully,
Colin Crawford, Marquess of Grandview.
He walked out of the study and looked around for Old Phil. Spratt, who had been standing by the window, walked over to him and bowed. "Is there a problem, My Lord?"
Colin shook his head. "No, I just need to see Old Phil."
Spratt bowed. A thought came to his mind. He called, "Spratt?"
"Yes, My Lord?"
"Have my canvas brought back to the Lady's bed chamber."
Spratt nodded. "As you wish."
He walked away. Colin was left alone. Old Phil arrived not long after. He bowed.
"Phil, I want you to run an errand."
Phil bowed. "Yes, My Lord."
He handed him the letter he had written. "Deliver this to the orphanage, and I want some food and supplies to be sent to them, as a courtesy from Lady Lavinia.
"Yes, My Lord." Phillip turned the letter in his hands. He smiled as he did. "Lady Lavinia loves the orphanage."
Colin nodded. "That is why I am doing what I knew she would have done."
Phil raised the letter. "Did you write in her name?"
"Oh no. I would never do that. I only informed them that the reason she had not visited was because she was quite ill." Colin shook his head as Phillip stared at him with wide eyes. "I did not mention the poison. As the Duchess said, it is better to keep that within the household."
Old Phil bowed. "I shall be on my way, My Lord."
Colin watched as Old Phil turned and walked away. He knew that nothing would make Lavinia happier than seeing the children happy. It had indeed been quite a while since she visited. She had been held up by preparations for her ball. She had kept saying that she would visit when the ball was over. Unfortunately, she could not.
&nbs
p; Colin shook his head and headed out of the study. He also needed to check on her, continue the painting he had begun. It would be his surprise for her. He pressed his lips in a thin line. He hoped that being alone with her would not seem strange and that she would not be distant with him. He wanted them to still have a good relationship. He paused as his thoughts ran wild. He had felt something in that kiss. He had felt so much desire, which was why he had withdrawn. He pulled his hands through his hair.
