Trent had been right. She was an utter failure, and she was only going to continue failing. Jonathan wasn’t immune to her inadequacies.
No matter how much she wanted things to change.
“Why are you getting the bartender’s number?” Jonathan’s breath was warm against her skin, and the tone of his voice was one of worry, not accusation. “Do I suck that much at being your fake boyfriend?”
Tiffany pulled back so she could meet his gaze. She hated that he was confused because of her weakness. She couldn’t tell him how she felt, though. There really was no coming back from something like that.
“It’s not you,” she said, giving him a small smile.
He quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Isn’t that what you say when you’re going to break up with someone? It’s not you, it’s me?”
She chewed her lip and nodded. “But I mean it. This”—she waved at herself—“is a mess. You don’t want to be a part of this mess.”
Jonathan furrowed his brow as he studied her. “What are you talking about? You’re a mess?” He pulled her closer. “Tiff, you forget that I know you. I’m not scared.”
Her stomach lightened as she forced herself to meet his gaze. He held it with an intensity that almost took her breath away. She wanted to believe that was true. That, perhaps, he knew her enough to accept her. All of her.
But he didn’t really know her. And if he found out, he’d run. He was her best friend, but that didn’t mean he had to stick around.
So she forced a smile. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” She patted his chest and then pushed off him. Jonathan hesitated but finally dropped his arms.
He pushed his hands through his wet hair, causing it to stand up. He looked adorable and unkempt, and she couldn’t help but hold her breath as he glanced around.
Why, oh why, did she have to start getting feelings for her best friend? Was she an idiot? She ruined every relationship she’d ever gotten into. She couldn’t do it to this one.
Jonathan finally brought his attention back to her. He looked uncertain. “So what now? Do you want to get back into the pool?”
Rob was cheering as two more couples were battling each other in a game of chicken. She wasn’t interested in climbing back onto Trent’s shoulders, and she certainly did not want to get on Jonathan’s. She shrugged. “I could use a shower and a nap.”
Jonathan sighed. “Okay. I guess I can hang out here.”
Tiffany turned and started to head toward the hotel’s doors. But the feeling of Jonathan wrapping his hand around her elbow stopped her. She glanced over her shoulder as he stepped up next to her.
“I just want you to be happy, Tiff. If you need to call off our fake relationship to chase that happiness, I’ll back down.”
Tiffany winced as his words washed over her. She really was an awful friend. Who drags their best friend to a wedding, asks them to fake a relationship, and then ditches them when things got hard?
Calling off their fake relationship was the last thing she wanted to do, but maybe it was for the best.
“Is that what you want?” she asked, focusing her gaze on the water. There was no way she could look at him right now. Not when his answer might break her heart.
When he didn’t respond, she peeked up at him, only to see him studying her. His gaze was intense and it took her breath away.
Stupid emotions. Why was she reading into everything he did? She doubted he had anything but platonic feelings for her.
“Jonathan?” she asked, not sure she could handle waiting for him to respond.
“I’m still game if you are.”
Relief flooded over Tiffany as she nodded. “I’m game.”
Jonathan’s half-smile emerged as he leaned in. “But if you want that to change, you’ll let me know, right? I won’t hold our fake relationship over you.”
Tiffany nodded. She needed to get out of here before she said the wrong thing. Before she told him that she wanted things to change but not in the direction he thought.
“I’m going to go,” she said as she stepped forward, breaking their connection.
Jonathan seemed to get the picture and dropped his hand, letting her leave without any other questions.
Tiffany hurried from the pool and into the hotel. Once she got to the room, she turned on the shower and peeled off her bathing suit. Once she was under the water, she took a few deep breaths.
What was wrong with her? Why was fate so cruel?
She shouldn’t be having feelings for her best friend. Of course, it was only a matter of time before she ruined their relationship. But now that feelings were involved, they were on a one-way trip to break-up-ville, where she was Mayor.
“Idiot,” she said under her breath as she closed her eyes and let the water cascade over her.
Only an idiot would let this happen.
A half an hour later, she turned off the water and wrapped one of the hotel’s complimentary robes around her. After wrapping her hair up in a towel, she pulled open the bathroom door and glanced out.
Relieved that Jonathan hadn’t come back yet, she made her way out into the room and sat on the bed. A sense of loneliness washed over her.
How was she going to move on from this? How was she going to be around him all weekend without destroying the one relationship she’d worked so hard to maintain?
Flopping back on the bed, she let out a groan. She closed her eyes as she slowed her breathing. One thing was for sure, she couldn’t freak out. Not now.
If she did, she was bound to do something stupid.
“I can do this,” she whispered under her breath as she lay there with her eyes closed. “I can do this.”
A sense of calm surrounded her as she forced herself to smile. If she could act like breaking up with every guy she’d ever dated didn’t break her heart, then she could act like she didn’t like Jonathan.
Besides, she was just being ridiculous right now. It had to be a combination of the breakup with Sean and the fact that she was at a wedding, surrounded by love.
Maybe the best thing for her to do was to let Jonathan go. He had a chance to find someone here, and maybe she did as well. That might help pull her out of the funk she was in.
The best way to get over a crush is to find a new one. So that was what she would do.
Renewed with purpose, Tiffany sat up and took a deep breath. She felt better already. When Jonathan came back to the room, she’d release him from the obligation of being her fake boyfriend and allow him to date who he wanted to.
She was headed to a bachelorette party—aka a bar—where she was sure there would be a plethora of guys to date.
It was a perfect plan.
And if she didn’t find someone tonight, there was always the bartender, Cody. He might be just what she needed to fix this sudden infatuation with her best friend.
By the time Jonathan got back to the room, she’d dried her hair and was in the middle of applying her makeup.
When Jonathan walked in, his hair was dry and sticking up in every direction. His cheeks had a pink hue, and he looked…happy.
Which was good. That meant that he hadn’t picked up on her ridiculous crush. She could definitely salvage their relationship if she could just keep her feelings in check.
She quirked an eyebrow. “Have fun?”
Jonathan walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. When half of it was gone, he nodded as he returned the lid. “Yeah. Your family is crazy.”
“Oh really?” Tiffany said as she turned to the mirror and began applying eyeliner.
“Yeah, your aunts came down and got into the water. It was like an attack of small, very forceful women. I barely got out of there with my life.” Jonathan’s voice grew louder as he neared her.
Laughing, Tiffany turned to see that he was about a foot from her. His shoulder was inches from touching her own, and he was smiling at her in the mirror.
He turned to meet her gaze. “Tha
nks for bringing me. This was fun.” He turned to fold his arms and lean against the counter. “I needed it.”
Tiffany nodded as she moved to line the other eye. “I’m happy you are having fun.”
Jonathan didn’t say anything. When Tiffany was done, she glanced over at him. He had a contemplative look on his face as he stared at the wall in front of him.
“So I was thinking about what you said earlier,” she said, starting slow. She wasn’t exactly sure how she was going to handle this, but she knew she needed to say it. For both their sakes.
“About what?” He glanced over at her and gave her one of his relaxed smiles.
“About our fake relationship.”
Turning to the sink, Jonathan flipped on the water and let it fill up in his hand. “Okay,” he said.
“Well, a wedding is the perfect place to pick up someone.”
He glanced over at her, his eyebrows furrowing. Her confidence wavered, but then she decided to push through. She could do this. She could.
“Okay,” he said again, taking the time to drag out each letter.
“So why don’t we just put this whole fake relationship thing behind us and move on?” She waved to his chest. “You can date and I can date.”
He turned off the water and then straightened, staring down at her. “Are you breaking up with me?”
Tiffany’s heart pounded harder at the intensity of his stare, but she held her ground. This was the safest course of action. For the both of them. He needed to find someone as much as she did.
If Jonathan was off-limits, then she just might be able to conquer these feelings building up inside of her. Which she so desperately needed to do.
Just when she thought she was going to melt under his scrutiny, he shrugged and moved toward the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower,” he said.
Tiffany watched his retreat, her lips parted. She wanted to say something. To get an answer from him. She wanted him to release her from their agreement.
But he didn’t.
Instead, the bathroom door shut and the shower started. Frustrated, Tiffany turned back to the mirror and stared at herself.
She was not going to let herself ruin this relationship. Jonathan was just being nice. He felt as if he needed to protect her, and she was going to tell him that was ridiculous.
She wasn’t his to protect.
Before she could stop herself, she marched over to the bathroom and flung open the door. Steam had filled the room.
“Jonathan Braxton,” she said in her best you better take me seriously voice.
The shower curtain moved, and Jonathan’s head appeared next to the wall.
“What the he—”
“Why won’t you break up with me?” She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.
Jonathan’s eyebrows rose as his expression softened. “Because—”
“I don’t need protection. I’ll be just fine. I’ve been fine my whole life. You don’t need to shield me from anything.” Her hands began to shake as the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins wore off. Not wanting him to see, she folded her arms and narrowed her gaze.
He studied her and then sighed. “Can I talk now?”
Feeling like an idiot, Tiffany nodded. “Of course.”
His gaze roamed over her as he moved to lean his shoulder against the wall. “Is that what you really want?”
No.
But she couldn’t say that. So she mustered the best smile she could and nodded. “Yes. I think it’s best. For the both of us.”
He pinched his lips together and then nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why is that so surprising to you? Did you think I was getting feelings for you or something? That I thought this was real?”
Tiffany let out a forced laugh. That was definitely not what she thought was happening to him, but it was definitely what was happening to her.
“No,” she said.
Jonathan studied her and then nodded. “Perfect. Then it’s an amicable breakup.”
“Great.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to stay in here while I shower?”
Suddenly realizing that she was still standing in the bathroom with him, Tiffany’s whole body heated. “Sorry,” she said as she made her way out to the room and shut the bathroom door behind her.
Now alone, she let out of her breath. This was for the best. All of it. Jonathan was now free to go out and find the future Mrs. Braxton, and she would keep her best friend right where she needed him. Where she couldn’t ruin their relationship.
Now, if only she could get her heart to stop breaking, she just might be able to survive this.
Chapter Eleven
Jonathan stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. His stomach was in knots, and even though he was trying to tell himself he didn’t know why—he knew he did.
Tiffany’s words were circling around in his mind like a headache he just couldn’t kick.
She wanted to call the fake relationship off.
Why?
He shifted his attention over to Tiffany. She was sitting on the chair next to the desk, studying her phone, oblivious to the fact that he was watching her.
Her dark hair fell forward, brushing her arms as they rested in her lap. She was still wrapped up in the white hotel robe, but the rest of her looked as if she were ready for a night on the town.
Which she was.
Without him.
Flexing his jaw, Jonathan turned his attention back to the mirror. Maybe this was what he needed. A break from Tiffany might jumpstart his emotions and get them back on track. If he didn’t, he worried what he might do.
If the growing desires inside of him were let lose, he was pretty sure he was going to ruin the one relationship he’d managed to hang onto his whole life. He’d already failed at so much that he couldn’t take this risk with Tiffany. She meant too much to him.
Tiffany’s groan drew his attention over to her as he squirted hair gel into his hand. Her forehead was wrinkled and she looked annoyed.
“Everything okay?” he asked, hoping he sounded more casual than he felt.
Tiffany glanced up at him and nodded. “Yeah. Fine. Just found out from Stacy that the party tonight is actually a bachelor/bachelorette party. We’ll be going together.”
He studied her. “That’s strange.”
She shrugged as she set her phone down on the desk and leaned back in her chair. “Apparently, they both want to keep an eye on each other.” She folded her arms over her chest and blew out her breath.
“This is bad…because?”
Her eyes widened as she turned to study him. She pinched her lips as if she were trying not to say something. He wondered what that meant. Did she really not want to go out with him?
“Because of Trent, of course.”
And then he felt like an idiot. Of course she was upset about having to spend more time with the guy that had come between her and her cousin. Why was he so stupid that he thought it was about him?
“Right. I’m sorry,” he said as he pushed his hair around to style it.
He could see her from the mirror as she stood and began to pace around the room. “It’s just weird, isn’t it? I mean, who does these kinds of parties together?”
Jonathan shrugged. “A buddy of mine did a guy/girl baby shower. It’s not that uncommon anymore.”
Tiffany stopped moving to study him. “Yeah, well, I needed a night with the girls.”
Ouch. His expression faltered, but he forced a smile when he looked up at her. Before, a response like that wouldn’t have bothered him. But now? It felt like a knife to the gut.
“Getting sick of me already?” Jonathan asked as he turned the water on to rinse off his hands.
Tiffany’s expression softened as she stepped up next to him. “Not you. Other…other people are bugging me. Sometimes, I wish I could just take a break from everything.”
&nbs
p; As much as Jonathan wanted to believe what she said was true, he couldn’t help but sense something else behind her words. Something she was trying hard not to say. It confused and frustrated him.
Since when had things come to this? They were friends. They’d always been honest with each other. And yet, it didn’t feel that way now. It felt as if there was a secret that neither of them could say.
“I’m sorry.” He moved over to the bed and sat down. “I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to.”
Tiffany’s gaze followed him as her expression fell. “No. I want you to go.” Then she sighed and forced a smile. “Don’t let me be the downer here. You deserve a break too.” She moved over to sit next to him. Her arm brushed his and sent shivers up his arm. It felt so right to sit next to her, their bodies touching.
He had to fight the urge to reach over and engulf her hand with his own. It was something he would have done back when his feelings weren’t so confusing. It would have been as natural as breathing to him. But now? It felt too intimate, and he wasn’t sure if his heart could handle it.
So he kept his hands clasped in his lap. Tiffany sighed next to him as they sat in silence. He glanced over at her to see that her shoulders were slumped. He could feel the tension around her, and in the deepest parts of his soul, he wanted to fix whatever was bothering her.
Maybe it was because she was lonely. All the idiot guys around her didn’t see her for who she was. How great of a person she was. They didn’t deserve her.
But that didn’t mean she wasn’t lonely, and it broke his heart that she was in pain. He wanted to help her, and having a solution to her problem was the way to do that.
So, despite the fact that there were warning bells going off in his mind, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “I’ll help you find the perfect guy for you,” he said as he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head.
Tiffany stiffened but then relaxed. “What?” she whispered.
Tightening his grip on his best friend, he dipped down to meet her gaze. “I’m going to help you find the perfect guy. You deserve that kind of love.” He gave her a small smile even though his heart felt as if it might break. Finding someone for Tiffany meant finding someone to take her away from him. He wasn’t so delusional as to think that once she was involved with someone else, she’d still have time for him.
Her Best Friend: Braxton Brothers Series Book Two Page 9
