“Even by paying such a price? Supporting people who you hate?”
“Would you rather be proud but homeless, Süße?”
My mother didn’t answer and just looked away. I suddenly felt like an intruder in my own family dining room. I guess my father sensed how uncomfortable I was getting and winked at me.
“Why don’t you go get dressed before our guests start arriving, princess? A little bird told me that you have a new, very pretty dress waiting for you in your room.”
“Really, Papa? Oh, you’re the best Papa in the world!” I gave him my tightest hug and ran to my room.
My new dress was indeed gorgeous, a beautiful ivory color with ruffles all over the skirt, just the way I liked it. I looked like my birthday cake I’d seen earlier in the kitchen; I had no idea how much money my father paid for both the dress and the cake, and actually didn’t care. I loved being spoiled and pampered, and besides all those conversations between my parents were really upsetting me, so just for one day I wanted to forget all about the starving people on the streets, the depression everyone was talking about, the Nazis, and the banks with closed doors all over Berlin.
We still had some time before the guests, which included mostly our relatives and closest family friends, started to arrive and since I had my new dress on I couldn’t resist the temptation, so I quickly changed my regular shoes to pointe shoes and started dancing around the hallway. I knew my routine (as well as my hallway) perfectly, so I was humming the melody from our latest show to myself and got so carried away that I closed my eyes, and after a couple more pirouettes suddenly hit the wall that wasn’t, by any means, supposed to be in my way.
The “wall” turned out to be a very tall and handsome gentleman I’d never seen before, who still had his hands on my shoulders right after he caught me before I would have most likely fallen right onto the marble floor. He was smiling at me with the kindest smile that immediately reminded me of my father’s, but the only thing that intimidated me and made me step away was his uniform: the handsome gentleman was definitely a Nazi officer, the first one I’d seen so close in all my life.
“I’m sorry, Fräulein, I didn’t mean to interrupt your beautiful performance, but I must say you completely knocked me off my feet.”
“I’m sorry, Herr Officer...” Normally I was always the one to apologize first, as my mother always taught me good manners, but this man really caught me by surprise so that I couldn’t even think of what to say next.
“That’s fine, Fräulein. I must say you’ve really improved throughout the years; last time I saw you, you were only four years old… but even then you were dancing!”
“We met before?”
“You probably don’t remember me; you were too young. I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself earlier. My name is Heinrich Friedmann, and I’m your father’s old friend. And happy birthday to you, Annalise!”
With these words, he produced a little bouquet of pink roses from under his leather coat and a little blue box that I took without hesitation. My mother was always scolding me that I would talk to any stranger for a chocolate. She would really have a fit if she saw me now; I was talking to a Nazi officer and maybe there wasn’t even any chocolate in the box he gave me. However, so far he seemed to be very nice and nothing like my mother pictured the Nazis to me, at all.
“Go ahead and open it. I bet you’ll like it.”
Still holding my roses in one hand (because of my young age, nobody had ever given me roses before, so I was very proud to hold my first, very own bouquet and would most definitely ask Gryselda to keep it in my room) I opened the little box and gasped. It was a little, pointe-shoes, pendant on a golden chain, also my first jewelry, not counting my earrings that I had since I was three-years-old.
“It’s so beautiful! Thank you so much, Herr Friedmann! All the girls at my ballet school will be so jealous!”
“Heinrich Friedmann!” My father’s powerful voice immediately filled the hallway. “This young lady is spoiled rotten as it is, and the first thing you do after you come back in the country, you bring her more things!”
“My wife found it for her in Vienna; she thought it would be appropriate, after all, she got accepted to one of the best schools in Berlin, she absolutely deserved it.”
My father hugged Officer Friedmann with such a heart that I immediately overcame all the fear I had left for his Nazi uniform, after he so easily bought me, with his presents. However, I was still very curious how my father knew the Nazi officer in the first place and what was even more surprising, how the two of them were such good friends.
“So glad to see you back, my friend! Tell me, are you in Berlin for good?”
“I wish, Richart, I wish! Unfortunately, duty calls, I have to be back in Munich in five days.”
“Your wife didn’t come to visit this time?”
“She wanted to, but she came down with the worst flu right before I had to leave, so… maybe next time.”
“Well, send my best regards to her.”
“I absolutely will.” I caught Officer Friedmann’s eyes stopping at my father’s new Party pin. “I see you joined the Party?”
“Yeah… I decided not to swim against the current, you know?”
“Good for you, my friend. It’s easier this way. Anyway, I believe we have a certain birthday to celebrate, don’t we?”
I had already put my new shiny pendant on and was now smiling at the tall officer and standing up on pointe from time to time, trying to seem taller than I really was. My mother seemed very happy to see Herr Friedmann as well, just like my brother, Norbert, who got a little upset that he didn’t get to sit next to him; that was my privilege today since it was my birthday, and my father let me sit next to our honorable guest, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Throughout the whole dinner, they all shared stories and spoke of the earlier years when Officer Friedmann’s and our family were close before his military service made him move to Munich.
All my family members seemed to love this mysterious man, and I was the only one who felt excluded from their conversation. Officer Friedmann was right, I simply did not remember him. But I already liked him now. He was a real gentleman and was serving me food all evening and even poured a little champagne into my glass when my parents weren’t looking.
“Let it be our little secret,” he whispered to me with a wink, and somehow I knew right away that I could trust this man and tell him everything. Too bad he lived in a different city and didn’t know when he was coming back to Berlin. I certainly would love to see him again. After all, he was the first adult who wasn’t treating me like a child but like a young lady, and I really liked that.
Officer Friedmann stopped by our house to say goodbye before he left, and I was thinking about him for about a month after his departure. Norbert was teasing me that I was in love with our father’s friend, while my mother was just patiently answering all my questions about that handsome officer and telling me stories from the time when he still used to live not too far from our house. But after a while, my ballet teacher finally admitted that I was good enough to be a soloist, and I concentrated all my attention on my ballet practices, soon forgetting completely about my first childhood crush. The only thing that was still reminding me that I didn’t dream all it, was my little golden pendant that I was wearing without taking off, just like I told Officer Friedmann I would.
Chapter Two
Berlin, 1938
* * *
Whoever came up with the “genius” idea that ballet was an easy profession definitely never had their feet stuffed in a tiny shoe for hours. But as my father was always saying, nothing worthy comes too easy. I was a seventeen-year-old soloist at one of the best theaters in Berlin and if that wasn’t worthy, I don’t know what was. And even though my toes were literally bleeding after eight hours of rehearsals, I couldn’t be happier and prouder of myself. Very soon I would be performing with the best dancers of our time, on the real stage, and for the first ti
me in front of such a huge audience. Our choreographer, Frau Martha, kept repeating that several “very important” political figures would be attending and therefore we should show our very best.
I didn’t care for the political figures; all I was thinking about was how proud my parents would be seeing me perform on the big stage for the very first time. I knew the routine perfectly and was more than sure that I wouldn’t make any mistakes. Besides, I had a great partner, a very talented young man with big brown eyes and cute bangs always falling over one eye, who was now handing me thin bandages for my feet to keep my toes from touching.
“Adam, you really don’t have to clean up my feet, they’re dirty and gross, I can do it myself.”
“Nothing about you can ever be gross, Annalise.” He smiled at me shyly and put some rubbing alcohol between my toes. Not going to lie, it stung pretty badly. “Besides, if you don’t disinfect it, the dust and dirt can cause a bad inflammation. I’ve seen it before and, trust me, it doesn’t look good.”
I never argued with him about the questions related to any medical stuff; after all, he was a son of our family doctor, Dr. Kramer, and we’d known each other since we were little kids and were going to the same ballet school. His father was still a little disappointed that his son had chosen such a different profession than his, so just to humor his “old man” Adam devoted all his free time to helping him with his practice.
Adam was only three years older than me, so when we were younger I didn’t give him the time of day due to my opinion that all children were unnecessarily loud and stupid. However, when we both got accepted to the same company at the same time (I was a very advanced student, and Frau Martha “saw the potential in me” and accepted me on terms that I wouldn’t disappoint her, a fact that she kept reminding me of every time I didn’t do something perfect enough for her), so Adam took me under his wing, and we bonded immediately. The fact that we lived not too far from each other and he was escorting me home every evening after the rehearsals that were running late way too often, only strengthened our friendship.
He finished bandaging my sore feet and told me that he’d be waiting for me outside. I took another look at the great, clean job he’d done and went to the dressing room to change into my regular clothes. On the way home on the bus, Adam shared a chocolate with me. By now he was very well aware of how big of a sweet tooth I had and kept bringing me treats, even though I kept scolding him for trying to make me fat. On my front porch, he gave me a quick hug and ran down the stairs.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Annalise!”
“Bye, Adam!”
The first thing I saw as soon as I entered the room was my father with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Do you know what time it is, Fräulein? Your mother and I were worried sick!”
“I’m sorry, Papa. The rehearsals were running late again, and Frau Martha wouldn’t let us go till everyone was perfect.”
“Well, tell Frau Martha that there is no such thing as perfect!” He helped me with my coat and kissed me on my forehead. “Did Adam bring you home again?”
“He always does, Papa. He’s very nice.”
My father looked at me a little longer than he should. I could sense that he was trying to find words to say something but was still unsure if he should.
“He is a nice boy, princess. And I’m very glad that you’re finally establishing interest in the opposite sex, but be careful with him, all right?”
“We’re just friends!” He knew just the way to embarrass me. Thank God, I was too tired to blush since all my blood was definitely concentrated in my feet.
“At your age that can change in one day. I was friends with your mother too, until one day we got married and after a year we already had Norbert. I was only twenty-one.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“I’m just saying that you have to choose wisely who you’re friends with, that’s all.”
Now he got me really confused. He loved Dr. Kramer and considered him a part of the family, and he absolutely adored Adam; they were always invited to all the family gatherings and celebrations, and Dr. Kramer would always return the favor. More than that, when Norbert was younger and got bad pneumonia, Dr. Kramer saved his life. So hearing my father saying something about choosing friends wisely didn’t make too much sense to me.
“Don’t get me wrong, Schatzi, I love Adam and his father. But you understand that they’re Jewish, right?”
“Papa, we are Jewish too…”
I couldn’t even finish the sentence because my father hushed at me loudly.
“Are you mad?!” he whisper-yelled at me. “What did I tell you about never saying that, ever again?! We are not Jewish! Not like them, at least. They were never hiding it, and now there’s nothing that can be done for them except run while they still can.”
“Papa, what are you talking about?”
“Are you completely blind, girl? Don’t you see what’s going on around the country? Don’t you listen to all that anti-Semitic propaganda in the movies, on the radio, in all those papers around the city? They won’t let them live, Schatz.”
“Papa, you’re scaring me. I don’t listen to all that stuff. I just want to dance ballet and not to be concerned about all the sickening and insane ideas the Nazi Party – your Party – keeps coming up with every day. I don’t want all that to be in my life, I don’t want it to be my problem. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m very tired and want to eat my dinner in peace.”
As I was walking toward the kitchen, where Gryselda was warming up what was left over from dinner, I heard my father say behind my back, “I’m afraid now it is everybody’s problem, princess.”
I was very nervous on my way to the theater, but surprisingly as soon as I changed into my costume I became as calm as a rock. My long, dark-blonde hair was put away in a tight bun (Frau Martha was begging me to cut it short so it would be easier to manage, but my waist-long hair was my biggest pride, and I simply refused to do it), my makeup definitely made me look at least five years older than I was (and less decent than I was, but it was a stage makeup and it just had to be overly bold and bright), and I was ready to shine.
I was so immersed in my dance that nothing else in the world existed for me. When I was dancing, I was in my own world, a world of beauty, perfection, and rhythm, when all the dancers were moving as one and created the best magic in the world – the magic of ballet. I couldn’t thank Adam more for his effortless supports and gentle hands; he really made that performance a pure joy for me.
When we finally finished and came out to take a bow in front of the huge audience, I got goosebumps all over my skin. We got a standing ovation! They loved us! They were throwing roses on the stage and clapping so loudly that I couldn’t hear anything else beyond that roar. I was absolutely happy.
Behind the stage, we were all hugging and kissing each other, congratulating Frau Martha on such a success. We even got an actual smile from her, and the words that she pronounced only on the rarest of occasions: “Good job, company!” In the dressing room, I was sitting in my chair with a silly smile on my face, not wanting to take off my costume. I was reminiscing the times when I was just a little girl and would beg my mother to go to bed wearing my new dress. The begging never worked and the dress would always have to come off for the night, but right now I was feeling the same thing: I wanted to go home just the way I was, still wearing my costume and go to sleep in it.
“Annalise!!! How many times shall I call your name? Or are you sleeping with your eyes open?”
“Huh?” I guess I got so lost in my dreams that I didn’t even hear Frau Martha’s mighty voice. “I’m not sleeping.”
“I hope not! Come with me right now, there’s a very important SS officer, who was so impressed with your dancing, he now wants to personally thank you for your performance.”
SS officer? I was so caught by surprise that I let Frau Martha drag me by the hand all the way to the first row of t
he seats, where the group of men, all dressed in black uniforms, were having a very lively conversation. As soon as we approached them, one of the men separated from the group and welcomed, my smiling from ear-to-ear, choreographer. I had no idea what I was supposed to do and was now just standing next to them, feeling quite silly in my costume. I quickly changed my mind about never taking it off ever again and would do anything just to make them stop staring at my almost bare legs. The length of my ballerina skirt didn’t help to cover them at all.
“Annalise, come here, darling, don’t just stand there like a tree!” Frau Martha’s loud whispering brought me back to reality, and I made two little steps toward the group of officers. “Sturmbannführer Reinhard, allow me to introduce my pride and my joy, one of the most talented dancers in my company and, hopefully, my future prima-ballerina, Annalise Meissner.”
I sat down in a little plié and finally met the eyes of the officer, who, according to Frau Martha, was so eager to thank me for my performance.
“Pleasure is all mine, Fräulein Meissner. Or shall I call you Annalise? It’s such a beautiful name, it would be a shame not to say it again and again.”
The Girl from Berlin, #1 Page 2
