Then she closed her eyes and started the ceremony, quietly singing the prayers. I’d never heard her speak Hebrew and wished I knew it so I could understand the meaning of the words. I was also incredibly grateful to Heinrich, who agreed to something that was contradicting all the laws and beliefs of the Party he belonged to. He was standing next to me in his SD uniform and was getting married to a Jewish girl during the Jewish ceremony. If someone found out about it, both of us would be immediately executed with no questions asked.
Grandmother Hilda finished reading the blessings and told us to drink some red wine from the cup she had on my dressing table. Then she asked if Heinrich had my wedding ring he was supposed to give me at our official wedding ceremony. After he took the box out of his pocket, she told him to put the ring on my right hand. I was very surprised to see that ring, big, silver, and with ancient Germanic runes engraved on it. But since it was an official SS wedding ring and we didn’t have anything else, we had to use this one. I guess it was the end of our short “wedding,” as Grandmother hugged us both and said, “You are officially husband and wife before God now. Now break the glass!”
Heinrich looked obviously confused at her request, so grandmother pointed to the object wrapped in the napkin that was laying on the floor before us during the ceremony.
“This glass, smash it with your foot, step on it.”
Heinrich did what she told him and laughed.
“Can I at least kiss the bride now after all you put me through?”
“Yes, you can!” My grandmother was too happy to object. “Mazel tov!”
Sparing my grandmother’s feelings, Heinrich gave me a very modest kiss on the lips, after which my mother came up to give us both a hug. She was crying.
“Mazel tov!” She kissed both Heinrich and me. “Heinrich, I really don’t know how to thank you for this. It means a lot to all of us.”
“Don’t mention it.” My new husband smiled at her. “I’m actually serious, don’t ever mention it, or we all are going to get shot.”
“Thank you.” I couldn’t believe that my grandmother was thanking my ‘no-good Nazi husband.’ “And please, take good care of my girl.”
“Of course, Frau Brauer. I have one question for you though: am I Jewish now?”
“You’re still very far from being Jewish, but you’re definitely not a putz anymore.”
Since that last Grandmother’s phrase, Heinrich and she developed some special bond that even I couldn’t understand, but I couldn’t be happier that they were getting along so well.
Our official wedding ceremony was even stranger than our secret Jewish one. It reminded me more of an NSDAP meeting than a celebration, that’s how many swastikas and other Nazi symbols surrounded us. At one point I caught myself thinking that I was dreaming all this because there was no way that in real life I was standing next to the urn with the burning flame (wasn’t it supposed to be a cross with Jesus on it?), pronouncing an oath of loyalty to my Führer (I thought I was marrying Heinrich) in front of Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler. The latter then told us to exchange the almost identical rings, after which I was supposed to touch the bread and salt (and I thought that Jewish ceremonies were strange!) while my new husband was holding his SS service dagger in front of him (as he later explained to me it meant an oath to protect his new family). Finally, when I thought that it couldn’t get any stranger, Reichsführer Himmler presented Heinrich a copy of “Mein Kampf” and while we were exiting the SS building, Heinrich’s military “brethren” gave us a traditional “Heil Hitler” salute, which ended up as our official wedding picture. That was the icing on the cake.
The wedding reception was much more cheerful though, or maybe I just had a lot of champagne and didn’t really care anymore. I finally learned Heinrich’s best man (and best friend’s) name, Hauptsturmführer Max Stern, since he said at least ten or fifteen toasts in our honor. As Heinrich later told me, they worked together in SD and even though technically Heinrich was Max’s superior, the two were very close. I thought that how little I actually knew about my new husband that even his best friend I’d only met at our wedding.
But it was Max’s wife, Ursula, who really gained my friendship right away. If I didn’t know that they were married, I’d easily take them for siblings, that’s how much alike they were: both tall, blond, very lively, and talkative. Ursula, who was only five years older than me, happily informed me that we were going to be neighbors now and that I’d be seeing a lot of her, because “I would hate all the other senior officers’ wives anyway, since they are old, grumpy, and hate fashion.” I decided that this woman would definitely become my new best friend.
We were drinking a lot and dancing a lot, and I felt like the happiest girl in the world. I was officially Frau Heinrich Friedmann, an SD officer’s wife. If two months ago someone had told me that I’d marry one of the men who took an oath to exterminate the entire breed of people that I belonged to, I would have laughed in their face. And still, here I was.
On the way home, after we finally said goodbye to our guests, I was laying on the back seat of Heinrich’s car, while he was holding my legs on his lap.
“You look drunk, Frau Friedmann.”
“Not drunker than you, Herr Friedmann.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“I’m thinking that I married a man who I don’t really know too well. You know everything about me, and I still have no idea what’s going on inside your head.”
“I would be a sorry ass spy if everybody would know what’s going on inside my head.” He grinned at me.
“Then why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking about?”
“I’m thinking about how pretty you look in that dress. I’m also thinking that you’ll look even prettier when I take it off you.”
“You had plenty of chances to do it before our wedding day. It’s not my fault that you didn’t use such an opportunity.”
“Your father is not too happy about his friend marrying his daughter to begin with, now can you imagine how mad he would have been if I got his little girl pregnant before the wedding? I don’t think I would have lived long!”
I moved to Heinrich’s side and sat on top of him.
“Well, now you have all the legal rights to do it, so why don’t we start right now?” I whispered and started to unbutton his uniform. “Because I honestly don’t think I can wait till we get home.”
Heinrich slid both his hands under my skirt, grabbed my hips and pulled me even closer. I never thought before I could want a man so badly. I wanted his hands everywhere, wanted him to touch me, rip my dress off, and take me right there in the back of his car. I loved how possessive he was with me, how bossy, how greedily he kissed me, how he was biting my neck and my lower lip. I undid his shirt and put my hands on his chest. I wanted to feel every muscle, every part of his body, he was mine now and I wanted every single bit of him.
We got so carried away that we absolutely forgot about Hanz in the front, but as it turned out two seconds later, Hanz was so interested in what was going on in the back seat that he didn’t even see an approaching car at the intersection. The sudden stop almost made us both fall on the floor, but luckily I just hit my back on the passenger seat.
“Hanz, you stupid moron!” Heinrich yelled. “What the hell are you doing?! Do you want to kill me on my wedding night?”
“I’m very sorry, Herr Standartenführer! That car just appeared out of nowhere!”
“If you would pay attention to the road, you would have seen it, idiot!”
“I’m very sorry again, Herr Standartenführer! It’s absolutely my fault.”
I was so drunk that I found the situation very funny, until I saw Heinrich’s face.
“Scheiße.” I followed his gaze and saw a very tall and very well built man coming out of the car we almost crashed into. “Hanz, now you’re really in trouble. Do you know whose car you almost hit? Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner, the leader of the Austrian SS.”
>
The tall man took out a cigarette case, took one out, lit it up, and after that slowly approached the driver’s side of our car. Hanz jumped out and gave the stranger a military salute, even though the former was wearing a regular suit. I still had no idea what was going on. Meanwhile Heinrich quickly tried to put his uniform in some kind of an order and got out of the car.
“Herr Gruppenführer!” Heinrich saluted the tall man and the latter just nodded. “Standartenführer Friedmann, we met at the Party meeting several months ago.”
“Yes, yes, I remember.” Gruppenführer let out a cloud of smoke and extended his hand to Heinrich. Now that they were standing next to each other I noticed that even next to my new husband, who was very tall and very muscular, that man looked like a giant. “Standartenführer, can’t you find a driver who can actually drive?”
“Allow me to apologize for this moron, Herr Gruppenführer. He’s actually a very good driver… when he looks at the road.”
Heinrich gave Hanz a stern look, and the poor guy lowered his head like a dog expecting a beating. I moved closer to the window to take a better look at what was going on.
“And what the hell happened to your uniform, Friedmann?”
“Nothing, Herr Gruppenführer. It’s my wedding today, and my wife kind of… took care of it.”
“Wedding? Congratulations!” The tall man smiled and shook Heinrich’s hand again. “And your bride decided to open her ‘present’ before she even got home?”
Heinrich just laughed and shrugged.
“So where is Frau Friedmann?”
Heinrich walked up to my door, opened it, and made a motion so I would come out. I quickly straightened my dress out and finally met the tall man face to face. He didn’t look like a picture perfect Nazi, how the Party always portrayed them, with blond hair and blue eyes; on the contrary, he had rather dark features, just like Heinrich, and together with several deep scars crossing the left side of his face, he could look pretty intimidating. Except he didn’t. I actually thought that he was rather handsome.
“There she is, Herr Gruppenführer. Annalise Friedmann, my wife. Annalise, meet SS Gruppenführer Dr. Kaltenbrunner.”
“Nice to meet you, Herr Gruppenführer.”
I extended my hand that simply disappeared into his huge palm. But he shook it very gently and nodded at me, smiling.
“Nice to meet you too, Frau Friedmann. Congratulations on your wedding.”
“Thank you.”
“I almost got killed because you couldn’t wait to make a baby, so you will have to name your firstborn after me.”
I couldn’t help but smile, even though I caught myself blushing.
“I guess we owe you this one, Herr Gruppenführer.”
“That’s the least you can do.” Dr. Kaltenbrunner grinned, shook Heinrich’s hand again, and slightly bowed at me. “Frau Friedmann, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
As he was getting back into his car, he turned to Heinrich and said, “Try not to crash into anybody else tonight, I’m begging you!”
When we got back into our car, I asked Heinrich, “Who is that man?”
“Well, technically he’s a lawyer, and first was helping the Nazi Party in Austria with legal advice, so many people still refer to him as Dr. Kaltenbrunner. But since he joined the Austrian SS, he got promoted to Gruppenführer very quickly and, trust me, you don’t want to know how.”
“Are you in trouble now?”
“I’m an SD, he’s an SS, so he doesn’t really have authority over my branch, even though his rank is higher. Besides, his main sphere of influence is Austria, so he doesn’t spend much time in Berlin. Hanz, that’s who’s in trouble.”
Hanz straightened in his seat even more, now afraid to take his eyes off the road.
When we finally stopped by our new house, I was shocked by its size. It was a two-story mansion with an attic and a big porch. The lawn in front of it was neat and freshly cut. The Party definitely took good care of its property. Heinrich opened the front door with his key and let me inside. The house was furnished with immaculate taste and it seemed like the previous owners, whoever they were, didn’t spare any money while decorating it.
“There’s no food in the kitchen, so Hanz will take you shopping tomorrow. But in the meantime, we have several bottles of champagne thanks to Reichsführer Himmler, some fruit and a nice, very comfortable bed upstairs.”
“That’s exactly what I would like to see right now.”
Heinrich picked me up, quickly climbed the stairs, and carried me to the huge king size bed.
“Frau Friedmann, I believe we had some business to take care of before we were so rudely interrupted. And the first thing we’re going to do is get rid of this dress.”
Heinrich turned me away to unbutton my dress, but it had about fifty buttons on it and he was drunk and didn’t want to wait anymore, so after the third one he lost his patience and ripped the lace material all the way down my spine. I don’t know why it triggered me so much, but I turned around, grabbed him by the collar and started kissing him, tearing his uniform and the shirt off. He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He was breathing heavily and looking at me with his dark hungry eyes. I grabbed him by the belt and pulled him closer. I was finding some animalistic pleasure in feeling the weight of his body on me, almost to the point where it was hard to breathe. I was still wearing my silk underwear, but it didn’t last too long – he tore it off too, leaving me only in a garter belt with stockings.
I didn’t recognize myself anymore; I never thought that I could be so shameless, rubbing myself against a man while he was squeezing my breast with one hand and undoing his pants with another. I never thought that I could explore his body so openly and definitely never thought that I could watch him kiss my stomach, going lower and lower until he pushed my legs open and put his mouth on me. He was slowly torturing me; he put his fingers inside of me and was watching my reaction, he wanted to see on my face how good it felt, wanted to watch me lose control over myself and beg him to take me already.
When he was finally inside of me, I gasped in awe of the completely new feelings I was experiencing. And it was not just some wild primal physical pleasure, it was a whole new emotional state of mind. I was one with him; I was a part of him and he was a part of me. I felt absolutely conquered and submissive, and he was my king and my God. All I wanted was to give him everything I could, wanted him to have it all.
The longer he made love to me, the more I wished it would never stop. I actually completely lost track of time and was in some sort of trance, a state of euphoria, my whole body glistening with sweat even though it was winter out and we didn’t even have the fireplace burning. We were both sitting on the edge of the bed, and I was slowly moving on top of him while he was looking me straight in the eye, caressing my legs and back.
“You’re mine now, you know that?” He playfully bit my lip and traced his tongue down my throat to my collarbone. I closed my eyes and moaned with pleasure when he slightly squeezed my nipple. “You’re only mine, and you’ll always be only mine. If any other man touches you, I’ll kill him.”
“If any other man tries to touch me, I’ll kill him myself,” I whispered and buried my face in his neck and shoulder, breathing in an intoxicating smell of his cologne and wet skin. “I’m only yours, and I always will be.”
Chapter Ten
“So, how’s the newlywed life treating you, beautiful?” Ursula poured more coffee into my cup.
“It’s been fine since Heinrich finally gave up on me and hired a housekeeper.”
“Well, he held on for a whole week, you have to give him that!”
“Very funny. After he went to work hungry several times because I burnt his eggs, and after he ran out of clean shirts to wear, he didn’t have much of a choice. Besides the company only gave me two weeks of vacation, so after I go back to work in a couple of days I won’t even have time for all that household stuff. And how am I eve
n supposed to manage this huge mansion? It’s impossible!”
“Oh, don’t get me started, dear! Even before Max and I got married, I told him that I’m going to need some help around the house. And when he tried to object, I told him nice and clear that he has two choices: either he can have a beautiful, nicely dressed, and always happy wife to meet him from work every day, or someone in an apron, with her hair in a bun, no makeup, hands with sores from all that laundry and cleaning and smelling like food, grumpy and too tired for sex. The very next day he brought in a housekeeper.”
“Well, at least I honestly tried, so Heinrich can’t say anything. It’s not my fault that I was born to dance ballet and not cook dinners.”
“Exactly.” Ursula took another bite from an éclair that Heinrich had somehow managed to get, although he wouldn’t tell me from where. “Mmm, these are delicious! Have some too, you’re too skinny!”
“I can’t, I have to watch my weight.” Instead, I bit on another grape. “I’ve never thought how great it is to be married to an officer. Where do they even get all these things from? Even my father couldn’t buy some things despite having the money.”
“It’s not about the money, sweetie. It’s all about the contacts. And who has more contacts than the SD office? Besides, I don’t even think they have to pay for it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they confiscate it.”
“From whom?”
“I don’t know. Anti-government people. Or Jews.” She shrugged. “I’m not too interested in where it comes from as long as it keeps coming. How do you like this coffee by the way?”
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