by Theda Black
“Why would anyone ever, ever issue you a license?” Seth climbed out of the back.
Dave flipped him off absentmindedly, still arguing with someone named John in the front seat over something Seth stopped listening to almost as soon as it started.
“Over time, you learn to ignore the inherent danger to life and limb,” Josh Martin said, climbing out of the SUV beside them. He was an acquaintance, introduced to Seth by Xander. Xander introduced all his friends to Seth. There were a lot of them.
“I will never care so little for my own well-being.”
“You say that,” Xander said, leaning into the back of the Jeep, “but you still have to ride home with him.” He tossed a football to Seth, then grabbed a red and a white cooler. Somebody else pulled out another, larger cooler from the SUV beside them.
Tucking the football under his arm, Seth started off with Xander down a slight incline to the park, both of them comfortably silent.
The park was wide and flat, edged with trees and park benches beside a paved walking path. Xander set the cooler on the dried winter grass and fished out a couple of water bottles.
Seth tipped his bottle and drank, then shielded his eyes from the bright sunshine and gazed over the park. The ground dipped into a small valley on the far end, leading down to the river. A row of empty picnic tables sat along the bank.
“C’mon, warm-up a little.” Xander started toward the walking path, Seth following. Behind them, groups of two and three trickled from the parking lot, stopping to raid the coolers now dotting the ground.
After a quick circuit around the park, ending in a lazy jog, teams were picked. Dave and Xander were captains. Naturally.
Dave looked right at Seth. “You.” He smirked. “You’re my first pick.”
“Prick,” Seth muttered, covering a flicker of unease. He couldn’t tell where the sly, flirtatious comment was coming from. For just a moment, he wondered if any of these guys were homophobes.
In his head, Seth ran down a list of the friends Xander had introduced to him. He’d had no problems with any of them. He tried to relax.
Xander and Dave called out names or pointed, insulting the other’s team picks amid laughter and catcalls. The teams jogged out into the middle of the field, throwing the ball around while Xander and Dave agreed on landmarks for downs and end zones in the field.
Dave tossed the ball to Seth. “Hike,” he said, and grinned, crowding up close behind Seth.
“You’re a perv, right? This is what I’m getting.”
“Calm down. I’m the quarterback, you’re the center. It’s all good,” Dave said, finally sensing Seth’s unease.
As far as Seth could tell, keeping score was nothing more than a second thought. The game was relaxed and friendly, though as the players warmed up, the intensity grew.
“What’s the score?” Seth asked and hunkered down, football in hand.
Dave’s hand brushed Seth’s ass.
Seth wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but he was on edge. “If you can’t keep it in your pants long enough to play the game, Dave, maybe you better pump the stump before you see me next time, yeah?” he snapped.
The team laughed and then howled. Seth shook his head, watching them. Maybe Dave harassing the new guy was a rite of passage?
“You guys need some women here, though I can understand why they wouldn’t show up. This isn’t prison,” Seth added. The team snickered some more. Seth’s mouth twitched unwillingly.
“Can we get on with the fucking game?” said someone from the other side. Seth glanced up.
Xander stared at him, face flushed, jaw twitching.
Fine. He motioned at the team and they fell into place. “Hut, hut, hike!” Seth’s grip slipped, distracted. He’d never seen Xander look at him like that. Dave’s fingers brushed the ball, scrabbled, fell away.
Seth only just managed to avoid dropping the ball. By then it was too late to pass. He backed up, the team tumbling all over itself to protect him.
“Run!” Dave shouted. Seth feinted forward and ran left as a path opened. Josh rushed him from the opposite side, stumbling as John blocked him.
Seth twisted out of a near collision, dodged another tackle and ran full out. The grass crunched beneath his feet. Cool air rushed into his lungs. For a moment, he felt unstoppable.
Someone landed square on his lower legs and ass. Seth slammed into the dried grass, weight at his back sliding upward, driving the breath from his lungs. His forehead hit the ground, ears ringing.
He knew who was on him before he saw him, smelled his sweat, the breath on back of his neck. And better yet, his current wet dream/dreamer had an unmistakable hard-on pressed against his ass.
Seth’s cock swelled in response so fast it hurt. He squirmed against the weight on his back and then stilled, mortified. “Get off me,” he grunted as soon as he could draw a breath. His ears still buzzed.
“Why?”
“Why?” Seth asked incredulously, even though Xander’s voice did something to him—low and smooth, almost taunting. He squeezed his eyes shut, electrified at the dig of Xander’s dick at his ass. For a wild second he wanted to push back. “The game’s not called fuck-buddies, that’s why. “
“So you’re not into public sex?”
“Have you lost your mind?” Seth’s high tone embarrassed him a little.
Xander’s weight lifted suddenly off Seth. “Up,” he said hoarsely.
Seth stayed on the ground, heart pounding. Enough of this handsy bullshit game. He rolled over. “You people are crazy!” he shouted.
The field abruptly turned silent. For a second Seth heard the hum of traffic from beyond the field and the faint buzz of an airplane overhead.
Then there was Dave, holding out a hand and offering to help him up. “Sorry,” he said. “You’re just hotter than hell. You can’t expect me to control myself, can you?” He smirked.
Seth stared up at Dave’s outstretched hand and laughed—or choked—or whatever the sound was coming out of his mouth, because Jesus, he still had a hard-on, no way to hide it from the guy who’d messed with him the whole damn game. He blinked, looked again at Dave’s face, at Dave purposely not looking at what he’d clearly seen was there.
Now he’s giving me a break?
“These shits encouraged me,” Dave roared, dropping the outstretched hand and turning to the others, arms extended. The whole damn crowd hooted back at him, laughing, cat-calling, the pitch beating into Seth’s head and echoing. Kind of like one of those insanely testosterone-fueled gladiator movies he never paid attention to. A bunch of men killing the fuck out of each other: screaming, muscled, oiled, half-naked. Nope, no interest at all.
Though the way this afternoon was going, he wouldn’t be surprised if the guys here started pulling their clothes off and attacking each other. It was unreal.
He scrambled to his feet and caught sight of Xander, standing stock-still a few feet away, hair hanging over his forehead.
“Xander?” Seth shouted over the noise.
Xander turned on his heel and walked away.
The noise died down. Silence descended on the field again. They all stood and looked at each other, blinking like they’d just awakened.
Dave turned back to Seth.
“Idiot,” Seth said. “This is all on you.”
“Hey, it was a joke. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He walked away.
The teams straggled off the field, retrieving the coolers and heading for the parking lot. In the Jeep on the way home, Xander talked to Seth like normal, as if he’d never given Seth that enraged look out on the field. Seth returned the favor and acted as if it hadn’t happened.
The two of them walked into the dorm lobby as Stephens, who roomed at the other end of their hallway, came off the elevator. He smiled as he approached, pushing his glasses up his nose.
Xander liked everybody, or so Seth had always thought. Until now.
Xander stared at Step
hens, eyes cold. His body pulled up to full height, arms relaxed but fingers bunched halfway to fists. It was different than the look Xander had given Seth out on the field and more than a little threatening.
Stephens looked uneasily at Xander, hunched his shoulders and reversed direction.
Xander turned to Seth, whose face and body relaxed in slow increments. He offered an apologetic quirk of lips when Seth kept staring.
“What the hell was that?” Seth demanded.
Xander shook his head, heading for the stairwell. He took stairs instead of elevators when he could, lecturing Seth about health and exercise crap when he didn’t join him.
This time Seth didn’t join him.
Stephens was an asshole sometimes, sure, high-strung and too edgy, sometimes seriously annoying. He couldn’t often be bothered with the concept of politeness, but he wasn’t all that bad. He was smart and funny if you liked your humor with a biting edge.
Maybe something had happened between Stephens and Xander before Seth moved in. He’d ask Xander about it later.
He pretty much forgot about it.
5
SETH’S EYES FLEW open, heart quickening, sure something was wrong.
Xander slept in his bed across from him, shifting restlessly. He was murmuring something. Seth couldn’t make heads of it. Xander’s breathing grew faster, became slight panting sounds.
Seth stared up into the darkness. The first few times, Seth thought Xander must be fucking around with him. He wasn’t, though. He wasn’t even awake.
The panting stopped abruptly, and the next breath was carefully even. Xander sat up, a dark shadow slipping from his bed into the tiny bathroom. Water splashed loudly in the sink.
Seth resolutely tried to get back to sleep. He did not think about Xander jacking off, only a thin door between them with the water running to mask any noise.
He shifted, his dick rigid against his stomach, almost unbearably sensitive. He was not going to jerk off. He absolutely wasn’t. He closed his eyes. Remembered Xander shoved up against his ass out on the field.
Dammit.
It exasperated him to think of Xander that way. The guy was his roommate, for Christ’s sake. It was bad enough the afternoon had been so fucking weird.
This thing he had for Xander was getting out of control. He wanted to concentrate on his classes, keep things uncomplicated and easy. It wouldn’t help, but hell. He counted sheep, was almost asleep again when the door to the bathroom creaked open.
And hello, darkness, my old friend. Seth stifled a sigh and turned over in his bed.
He overslept and almost missed his first class in the morning. His head pounded the whole damn day. After a late class in the early evening, he stopped at a bar on the strip and grabbed some food and a beer, which finally took care of the headache. He didn’t mean to stay so long, but hey, everybody deserves a break, right?
He should lay off the beer, maybe. But the day had sucked elephant balls.
When Seth finally opened the door to his room Xander was asleep, motionless on the bed opposite. The blinds were open, cool white light from the streetlight outside shining over Xan’s face. He looked like a statue. So still.
Seth’s headache suddenly threatened again. He headed for the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, looking for something to take.
There was an amber-colored bottle on the shelf–a prescription bottle, but unmarked. Seth shook one of the capsules out. It looked like the sleeping pills his mom got from the doctor.
Seth put the unmarked bottle back into the cabinet, picked out the bottle of aspirin and tapped a couple into his palm, dry swallowing them. He took a shower and felt better for it. The headache was completely gone. He brushed his teeth and headed for bed.
Xander hadn’t moved, dead to the world. His dark hair was neat against the pillow as if, for once, he’d slept peacefully.
Or knocked himself out.
He stood beside the bunk to make sure Xander was breathing. Maybe it was dumb, but there was no one there to see. Finally he went to bed.
6
KEG CENTRAL WAS located in an apartment complex off campus. The music was loud and the walls matchstick thin, but the residents were all students who didn’t seem to mind the noise.
Dave manned the tap. His expression was remote, possibly stoned, as he looked out over the crowd spilling from the living room onto the balcony. He spied Seth, and his gaze sharpened. He winked slowly, deliberately.
Trying to embarrass Seth had climbed high on Dave’s list of ways to entertain himself, despite the apology almost a week earlier. But Seth had drunk a lot of beer. Instead of his usual confused flush, he tipped his head back, throat working, leisurely downing the beer from a cheap plastic cup. Looking directly at Dave, he lowered the cup and licked his lips, then curved a hand over his dick and squeezed.
Dave’s mouth dropped open. The next girl in line at the keg thrust her cup out. Dave picked up her free hand and fanned himself, laughing loudly enough that Seth heard him from across the room. The girl snatched her hand back and poked Dave in the chest.
Seth smiled, his gaze roving over the room, and saw Xander staring at him. He stood in the entryway to the hall, a hand resting on the overhang above, face unreadable. Seth dropped his hand from his crotch and looked away, the sense of victory he’d felt swamped by a curious mix of embarrassment and exposure. When he looked back, Xander was gone.
Seth walked across the room to stand in line for another beer. Dave abandoned his station and rushed to hand him a full cup, giving him a swift, admiring glance.
“Idiot. But thanks,” Seth said. They knocked their cups together and downed their beer in unison.
“How long have you wanted a piece of that?” Dave asked.
“What? A piece of you?”
“Come on, Seth.”
Seth gave him a hard look.
“Okay, then. I mean, uh, how long have you had a thing for Xander?”
Seth didn’t answer, looking intently at the nubbed carpet under his feet.
“So ever since you met. Huh.”
“There’s no thing,” Seth mimicked scornfully.
“Sure.”
“Nothing, no thing, absolutely none, whatsoever, at any fucking time–”
Dave watched him, smirking.
Seth put a finger up in the air and spoke louder. “–has ever been had by me over any hot-ass, show-off-his-ass roommate that I have ever had.”
Dave clapped him on the back. “You need another beer.”
Seth nodded and drank the cup down when Dave handed it to him, then went back for more. He kept thinking about Xander’s face in the hallway moments ago, the expression that said nothing at all. It didn’t sit right. He figured Xander would have laughed or rolled his eyes, mocked him somehow. Hell, even grabbed his own dick. Something other than that blank look.
Or fuck, maybe he’d had too much beer.
He drank enough that it felt like courage, and then he went looking for Xander.
He wasn’t out on the balcony, in the living room or kitchen. Seth headed down the hall, looking left and right.
The first door he came to was locked. He jiggled the knob and knocked. The door was hollow, the knock louder than he’d intended. Someone giggled inside as the toilet flushed. He hadn’t realized it was a bathroom.
There was the sound of running water. He blinked as the door pulled inward fast enough to make the air fan, and a tall blonde girl in a black glitter skirt and three inch-heeled boots stomped out, hissing, “Wait your turn, dickhead.”
She was followed by a smaller girl, still giggling, who pressed his hand as she walked by. “No worries,” she said, her breath sweet-sour, beer overlaid with bubble gum.
Seth grimaced and walked away fast. He was getting nervous in spite of all the beer, and he didn’t want to think now that he’d decided to talk to Xander.
There was a bedroom on the left. The door was open a crack, lights off. He walked past, hesitating, took a
step back and pushed the door with his fingertips. Light ran across the floor.
Xander pressed a girl against the wall, mouth on hers, kissing her hungrily. The girl's hands clutched at the wall. Xander looked huge, his body curved over hers. He broke free and looked up, the girl panting, open-mouthed. His eyes glinted in the stripe of light.
“Seth?” Xander put up a hand to shield against the light. He sounded surprised, maybe confused. “That you?”
The girl looked up at him. Her hair was long, straight and dark. Her back arched out from the wall, hips jutting forward. Xander’s other hand was under her shirt. Her nipples poked against the material.
Seth’s stomach fell to his shoes. His skin tingled like he’d been shocked, electrical protest at being seen, at the monumental mistake of being idiot enough, fucking delusional enough to go after Xander. All because Seth was obsessed with him, couldn’t stop thinking of him and his dreams, his moans and seeming desperation and even his embarrassment when he woke himself in the middle of the night.
Xander squinted at him, lips swollen, face open and soft. Seth’s hands shook with the urge to reach out to him even now, even with Xander halfway to fucking someone else. At least until Seth had come after him and ruined everything.
Jesus. Seth hung his head and tried to hang on, tried not to puke his beer and humiliation onto the floor.
Xander took a step toward him, hand out. Worse yet, his expression–was that pity? Seth had to get away from that. He shook his head and mumbled sorry, stumbled out the door, but Xander caught him outside in the hall, grabbed his arm and turned him back.
“I said I was sorry.” Seth pulled away, the words like ashes in his mouth.
“You don’t have to say that.” Xander reached out as if to touch him again, his eyes searching. “What is—is something—” he started, then hesitated and dropped his hand when Seth wouldn’t look at him.
The girl Xander had been kissing came down the hall after them. She stopped and stared, her lips thinning.
