by Theda Black
He was fucking gorgeous. Seth was mesmerized.
Then Seth was underwater, head tucked between Xander’s arm and side. He blew out tremendous, noisy bubbles, surprised, and grabbed Xander by the balls. Gently.
Xander hauled him up out of the water.
Seth gasped in a breath of air and lunged at him, teeth knocking into Xander’s, kissing him. Xander's mouth was hot against his, giving as good as he got. Seth grabbed onto him like an octopus, hands rubbing, exploring. His thigh hooked around Xander’s leg, pulling him close as he could.
Xander shuddered beneath his hands. He tugged Seth’s wet hair and crushed their mouths closer, tongues clashing. His arms were tight bands, his dick a hard, hot line pushing against Seth.
Seth ran out of breath, had to let go. Even a second was too long apart. Both of them were gasping, staring at each other. Seth took in deep breaths and breathed out shallowly, then dropped beneath the surface. He caught Xander’s wide-eyed look just as he went under.
The water was relatively clear, light green. Water swooshed in his ears. He reached for the waist of Xander’s trunks and yanked.
He was gorgeous all over, Xander’s cock thick, swollen with veins and standing against his abdomen. Seth pushed his mouth down over the head, trying to keep a tight seal, swallowing him as far as he could.
Even under the water, he heard Xander shout. He rubbed his tongue over the shaft, wanting to feel the bulging veins against his tongue. Xander was hot and smooth and so damn perfect in his mouth.
Hands came down on Seth’s shoulders. Xander was trying to go easy on Seth, not to push. To be careful with him.
Fuck that. Seth dug his fingers into Xander’s thighs, pulling him violently forward. He didn’t have much longer before he had to breathe, but fuck, oh fuck, he wanted this. His dick was stiff against his swim trunks, hungry for touch.
Spots floated in front of his eyes before he broke the surface. Seth dragged in a huge gulp of air, reaching down at the same time. He started a brutal pace, fingers tight over the shaft of Xander’s cock, rubbing over the head with each stroke.
Xander yanked Seth up and kissed him, stiffening. He gasped against Seth’s mouth. Come spilled over Seth’s fingers, washed away by the lake.
Each moment, each movement made Seth desperate to touch, fuck, breathe in all of Xander, making up for everything he’d waited for and never thought he’d get.
Then Xander’s hand was in his trunks, jacking in tight strokes, oh god, oh god. Seth shouted up to the sky. Xander’s mouth covered his, kissing him through his orgasm.
They held onto each other until their heartbeats slowed to something like normal again, kissing, murmuring soft sounds that meant nothing. After they recovered sufficiently they swam some more, kicking water in each other’s faces, playing and roughhousing.
Finally Seth swam to shore and lay at the water’s edge, too lazy and too satisfied to move despite the rough earth beneath him. The warmth of the sun sank into his back and legs.
Something blocked the warmth. Xander was standing over him. Cold drops of water rained over Seth’s back. He jumped but didn’t move. Xander gave him a gentle kick.
For dinner, they grilled out. Xander chucked charcoal briquettes into the fire and placed the grate over the pit while Seth retrieved the large, marbled steaks they’d bought from the refrigerator. The meat sizzled over the coals, sending enticing smells into the air. They argued about which was the better cut, T-bone or New York strip, though both really only cared that the meat was thick and there was plenty of it.
The coals glowed red, bunched low in the fire pit when Seth broke out the bourbon. It was a fine, dark amber in the bottle that burned smoothly going down.
“We could walk around naked out here,” Xander mused, tipping back a plastic cup of ice and alcohol. The katydids and crickets were out in full, noisy force as dusk came on.
Seth raised a brow. “You want to get naked?”
“Not necessarily. Maybe. Yes.” Xander smiled. “Later, definitely. I’m just saying I think we could get away with it.” He waved his cup. “Nobody’s around.”
They’d pulled the grate off the fire pit after eating. Seth rose to add tinder to the fire from a large stack, thoughtfully provided, presumably, by the people who rented out the cabin. Yellow flames licked up the sides of the wood, crackling.
He sat down again in the chair next to Xander. After a moment he chuckled, almost too low to hear.
Xander paused from tipping the cup to his mouth. “Are you okay there, buddy?”
“Just thinking about how you wrapped Mom around your little finger. Never seen anything like it.”
“Do you remember telling me about a neighbor being hot for your dad?”
Seth grimaced. “I don’t remember putting it quite like that, but yeah. How do you remember this stuff?”
“She told me about being invited to dinner by the lady down the hill. By the look on her face, I figured she was referring to the neighbor in question. I told her nobody’s cooking could compete with hers, and she lit up like a Christmas tree.”
“Tell me you did not play my Mom.”
“I would never.” Xander leaned over and kissed Seth. “I just wanted her to like me, and besides, her cooking is fantastic. But no more mom talk. We don’t mix moms with fuck talk, remember? Or, you know. With fucking.”
Seth’s brows nearly rose into his hairline. He shook his head vigorously. “Not necessary, you understand? Not necessary.”
“Not coming with me, then?”
“I’m not crazy.” Seth stood, pouring water over the fire from a bucket by the wood pile.
“You brought her up, not me.”
“Xander, for god’s sake.”
Xander laughed. “Sorry.” He pulled his shirt up over his head and flung it on the ground.
“You’re a not-so-secret nudist, aren’t you? Always throwing your clothes everywhere.”
Xander turned back to face him, hair settling over his head again. “Maybe.”
“What if a bear takes your shirt?”
Xander walked backward in front of him toward the cabin. “How much bourbon have you had? There’s no bears here. Even if they were, bears don’t take shirts.”
“You don’t know that.”
“What? There’s no bears, or bears don’t wear shirts?”
“I don’t fucking care anymore,” Seth said, walking into Xander’s body and kissing him. They took a step, shed some clothes, took another, stopping to nip at each other’s mouths. Xander fumbled at the doorknob.
Inside, they’d left a floor lamp on, and it lit their way up the stairs to the loft.
Xander sat on the bed and looked up at Seth, eyes wide and solemn. He still had on his boxer briefs, but the rest of his clothes were strewn from the yard to the stairs.
“What is it?” Seth said, nearly whispered.
“Seth, I…you’re just…” Xander said. Words seemed to fail him.
Seth smiled and pressed his lips lightly to Xander’s cheek, then lower, light press. “Words are hard. I’m me, yes,” he whispered into Xander’s ear. He peppered his face with kisses. “I’m me, you’re you… “—still kissing, teasing, “—and this? Is a cabin. C-a-b-i-n.”
Xander turned his head and bit Seth’s shoulder.
“Dammit!” Seth yelled, then laughed, all while pulling off his underwear.
Xander leaned back onto the bed, tugging at Seth so that he slid on top of him. He rolled Seth beneath him and kissed him again, slow and thorough, then nuzzled into Seth’s neck, lips dragging over the skin. “You don’t know when to quit,” he breathed, and brushed his nose against Seth’s like a caress. His mouth was soft and full, flushed from all the kissing.
“I don’t, ah—I really, really don’t,” Seth gasped.
Xander made his way down his chest, flicking a nipple with his tongue, biting gently.
Seth gasped again, pulled his thigh up and rubbed at Xander’s groin. “Take your damn
boxers off.” He yanked at the waist and took them down over Xander’s hips. “Get rid of those.” He opened the tiny nightstand on his side. “Condoms. Lube.” He grinned when Xander swallowed noisily.
Xander rolled a condom on while Seth slicked himself, then handed the lube over. Xander dribbled the thick fluid over his fingers and pushed Seth’s thighs open with one hand. Leaning over, he licked a wet line up Seth’s cock.
Seth moved restlessly, wanting more. Xander’s fingers were at his hole, pushing a little at a time. He moaned, Xander pushing inside with a finger, then another, slow and sure, opening him up.
“Is this okay?” Xander breathed.
The stretch burned, made Seth crazy for more. He rolled his hips and drove himself down on Xander’s fingers.
“Fuck, oh fuck, look at you,” Xander said.
Seth spread his legs wider. “Now, okay?”
Xander watched Seth's face, pulled his fingers from Seth’s body. He kissed him again, hard and rough. His hands were under Seth's hips, tipping his ass up from the mattress.
Seth reached down and grasped Xander’s cock, loving the heat and weight. He pushed down, impaling himself slowly, taking his time, waiting for his body to let go.
“Jesus.” Xander's eyes were dark, wide and hungry.
Seth lowered his hips, settling and pulling Xander’s cock further inside him. He felt himself beginning to relax.
Xander pushed in response, short driving thrusts, groaning. “Seth, oh fuck, God.”
Seth's hands were around the small of Xander’s back, feeling the muscles tense and release. He wiggled his hips, using his feet for leverage to push Xander deeper, grunting. He pulled Xander's face close, panting into his mouth and curling his body for more access.
Xander hit his prostate for the first time.
“Ughh, god,” Seth grunted, short and loud. “Fuck, fuck.” He grabbed his cock, slapping against his stomach.
Xander pulled his hand away. “Don’t touch,” he panted. “Can you come on me?” He arched his spine and slammed home again.
Seth watched his arms straining, the flex of muscle as Xander fucked into him. Xander’s balls slapped his thighs, stomach rubbing against Seth’s cock.
Xander hit Seth again inside, perfect. “Oh—god, god—fuck.” Seth's body jolted. Electric sparks ignited behind his eyes, cock jerking and pulsing, come arcing over the both of them.
“You're so damned amazing—” Xander fucked him hard and relentless, small sounds escaping his mouth.
“Yeah, that's it,” Seth murmured, tightening his legs around Xander's waist.
Xan’s breath was on his cheek, stuttering, stilling.“You feel so good—fuck, fuck.” His eyes were wild, pupils swallowing most of the iris. He shuddered.
Seth felt him coming. His cock spasmed weakly in reaction.
Xander dropped down on him, breathing hard in the crook of his neck and shoulder.
Seth held on, didn’t want to let go. Somehow Xander was still here. Still with him.
24
“EVERYTHING ELSE CHANGES. Except for this place.” Seth looked up and down the dorm hallway, at the students passing each other, some with luggage in hand, most pulling wheeled suitcases behind them.
Xander smiled. “You’re right. The dorm will outlive the cockroaches.”
They’d left the cabin early Sunday morning, taking their time on the drive back to college. The trip was uneventful, both of them at ease, not talking much.
Good sex had a tendency to relax people, Seth reflected.
Stephens came out of his room at the other end of the hallway. Seth and Xander stood stock-still, watching him approach.
“You’re back—that’s great! Are you okay?” Xander asked as Stephens drew closer.
Stephens blinked and looked at his feet and then at Xander as if he were confused. “I guess. I’m not sure what the hell happened. I mean, I know what people told me. I just don’t remember it.”
“You and I drank a lot of alcohol that night, remember? So did Xander. You and Xander got…friendly.” Seth swallowed, but kept his eyes on Stephens.
“People said I was doing crazy stuff. Hitting my fucking head on the floor. I don’t understand any of it.” Stephens shook his head. “They kept me in the psych ward at the hospital.” He looked at Xander. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t do that,” Xander said, sounding strangled. “It’s not your fault. I’m glad you’re okay. Really glad.”
“How’d you snap out of it?” Seth asked.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t anywhere, seems like. Like I didn’t exist, and…then I was. I was normal again.”
“I wouldn't go that far,” Seth said, and Stephens glared at him. Seth wanted to be understanding, he really did, but the words slipped out anyway. “Just so you know. It’s not happening again.”
“What? With him?”
“That’s right.” Seth stepped closer to Xander.
Stephens scowled, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “I’m not looking to repeat something that ended with me in the hospital, okay?” He looked more closely at Seth and then Xander. “Are you two—”
“We are,” said Xander, at the same time that Seth said, “None of your business, gossip boy.”
“You’re sure you’re glad I’m back?” Stephens snapped, jostling Seth as he brushed by.
“Yes, of course we are,” Seth yelled after him.
Stephens flipped him the bird and kept on going.
That night, they gave Seth’s bed a trial run. It was too damn small, but they managed. Xander, the giant, clumsy piece of sex-on-legs, only fell off the bed once.
And afterward, as the shadows fell, Seth watched Xander sleep.
Maybe watching him that way was creepy, maybe not, considering what they’d gone through. But Seth had never been able to make himself stop, even when he’d really, really wanted to do just that.
Now he didn’t want to stop. Xander wouldn’t mind.
Seth sat in the dark and watched over his awesome, stupendous, amazing, incredible boyfriend, imagining himself as protector. Just as, somehow, he knew he’d always been.
Xander was free, and that was everything.
Epilogue
WHEN TIBERIUS RULED Rome, a sailor proclaimed the death of the great god Pan. Two millennia later, a form born of Pan vanished again, this time from the town of Twin Wolves.
A year after Pan's departure, Simon was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. He drew his last breath on the day after his fortieth birthday, Beth by his side. Beth lived out the rest of her days at the farmhouse after Simon's death, isolated and reclusive. She didn’t remarry.
Billy’s father had left Twin Wolves when Sandra became pregnant. He never returned, but Billy’s grandparents moved to the foothills to be close to their grandson.
Two years after the death of the god, Sandra married Nathan Patterson, who owned the restaurant next door to her place of work. Billy adored his new father, and the family was very happy together. The Pattersons had two more children.
The people of Twin Wolves were left with neither dreams nor portents from Pan Agreus. As time passed, both those who mourned the god and those who did not finally began to believe in his death.
The older ones feared the future after his passing, having lived with the god and the customs surrounding him. They believed their town could not survive without him. They were wrong.
It had all been said and done in other times, other places. Perhaps it would be again.
