Hate Me

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Hate Me Page 8

by Nora Cobb


  Royce grabbed me about the waist before I could get to the doorway. “Anna, wait.”

  I tried to fight him, but he pulled me back, his strong forearm locked around my waist and holding me against his body. “Just let me go.”

  “I didn’t mean it to hurt you,” he said quietly. “I swear it.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he repeated, pressing his lips on my bare shoulder. I had taken my sweatshirt off within the first thirty minutes of our training and even now my body was soaked with sweat.

  Now I wished I had left it on. “Let me go.”

  He didn’t, keeping me in place. “Tell me one thing, pauper, and I will.”

  I had to get away from him. He was scrambling my brain, my feelings, everything. I couldn’t think straight. “What?”

  “Has Arthur kept his promise about helping you find your mother?”

  The question came out of nowhere and I froze, surprised. No, he hadn’t. He had actually told me to back off, saying that he was scared Isauros would kill me if I continued. I remembered my anger toward him and how I wished that someone would help me. “No,” I said softly, slumping in his embrace. “He didn’t.”

  Royce’s hold relaxed on me, but he didn’t let me go nor did I try to pull myself away from his warm body. It was nice to just have someone holding me. “Let me,” Royce said after a moment. “Let me help you.”

  I let out a choked laugh. “How?”

  Royce released me then and I turned, seeing his face. It was stone solid, without a hint of softness to it. “I’ve been doing some digging, reaching out to some of my contacts in the United Kingdom. They have found a travel record for an Irene Komita from Athens to London eighteen years ago.”

  “Eighteen years ago,” I repeated, a small kernel of hope blooming in my chest. “That would be …”

  “How old you are,” he finished for me. “I think it might be your mother, but I have to verify the information.”

  It was a start, a big one. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Let me help you,” he replied. “That’s all I ask.”

  I eyed Royce, unsure of what he wanted out of this. Well, he had already told me what he wanted. He wanted to marry me. That was not going to happen.

  No matter how well he kissed.

  But he would want something. I needed to make sure that I was ready for whatever he asked for in the future. Everyone wanted something and the kings were no exception. In fact, their requests were over the top and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.

  “Come on, Anna,” Royce said softly, holding out his hand. “I’m not—hell, I just want to help you find your future, all right? Don’t look at me like I am going to ask for your firstborn.” A hint of a grin crossed his face. “Unless you are willing to marry me, and then I can give you that firstborn.”

  Rolling my eyes, I reached for his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine. “As long as you can promise that you won’t hide anything from me, then I will let you help.”

  He squeezed my hand. “I will, I swear it.”

  I released his hand, not liking the fiery spread that was climbing through my body. “I, um, I should go.”

  I was almost at the door before Royce cleared his throat. “Don’t forget that I’m not the only one with ambitions when it comes to you, pauper.”

  I knew he was talking about Arthur, but I could almost put both him and Max in the same bucket.

  They all had their own ambitions for me. I just wasn’t sure what they were.

  **

  I watched her walk out before swearing to myself. I could still feel her lips pressed against mine, the way her body fit every hard crevice. She had surprised me with the way she had been able to pick up the skills quickly and I had enjoyed sparring with my pauper far too much.

  The kiss had been just an added bonus and for a moment, I had thought about taking her right on the mat.

  “Shit,” I muttered, picking up the discarded swords and replacing them in their racks on the wall. I really hadn’t meant to kiss her, but the opportunity had presented itself and I couldn’t pass it up.

  Of course, it had scared the shit out of her and now I was pretty much at square one with Anna again.

  Throwing out Arthur’s ambitions probably didn’t help me much either. She wanted to know what I wanted from her. Hell, I had already told her what I wanted, even if it was more than she had bargained for.

  Rolling my shoulders, I swiped my things from the bench and walked out of the training room, flipping off the light as I did so. Anna needed me to trust her and I needed her to trust me if we were going to get through this. I wasn’t lying to her, either. I wanted to help her, to put her in the position of power she had been born into but never rightfully received.

  Part of that was getting the needed information about her mother. She knew who her father was, but her mother? That was still a mystery.

  Well, I was going to make sure I was the one to find the information. I had all sorts of favors called in right now, costing me more booze and money than I cared to admit.

  But if this worked out for me, then it would all pay off. Anna was going to be mine. I had already told her that. I was the only one that could get her the money her father had left her.

  Now I had to see if I could get her to believe that it was true.

  Chapter 10

  Anna

  I wrapped my arms around my waist as I hurried back to my dorm, the events playing over in my mind.

  I had kissed Royce.

  And I had liked it.

  My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I turned down the familiar hall. I couldn’t even start to think about how we had gotten started, but suddenly there I was, moaning into his mouth and thrusting my fingers into his soft hair.

  It was absolutely crazy.

  I really should be kicking myself about kissing another king. I couldn’t get involved with Royce or Arthur or Max. They were all out to be the one that positioned themselves next to me, which meant none of them had real feelings for me.

  If I was a smarter person, I would leave this academy right now before things got worse.

  But the funny thing was, I couldn’t. My father had put me here for a reason. He could have easily washed his hands of me and forgotten I ever existed, and I would have been none the wiser.

  He hadn’t though. He had put it in his will for me to attend Weissmore, just like he had.

  He had left me a lot of money, with only a minor stipulation that a normal person would be seeking out a royal sovereign to marry so that the money would be hers.

  And not thinking about the searing kiss that someone who had once been my enemy had planted on me.

  Johanna was going to freak when I told her about this!

  The moment the thought crossed my mind, I pulled it back. Did I want to tell Johanna? Yes, we were friends, but I was starting to wonder if she was out for something more as well. It was a hard pill to swallow to think the only friend I had at this academy had her own agenda, but if I had not learned anything else about Weissmore, it was not to trust anyone that I came in contact with.

  Including Johanna.

  No, I wouldn’t tell her about Royce. She would likely give me the same spiel that Arthur had given me about not being able to trust anyone but them.

  I didn’t want any more lectures from anyone. I wanted answers.

  “Where have you been?”

  I drew up short of my dorm room door and glared at Arthur, who was glaring back at me. “What?”

  He advanced toward me, his eyes hard. “I said, where have you been?”

  “I don’t like the tone of your voice,” I shot back. “And I don’t have to tell you where I go. You lost that privilege when you lied to me.”

  He didn’t flinch at my words, drawing to his full height. For a brief moment, I thought he might do something like hit me. Arthur had never been rough with me. I couldn’t say the same about the other two k
ings, but he had never showed an ounce of anger directed at me.

  Suddenly I wished I had that sword in my hand once more to protect myself with. “What? Are you going to force it out of me?”

  His eyes widened. “What? No. I would never lay a hand on you, Anna.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “You sure look like you could right now.”

  “Because you are being difficult.”

  I gave him a short laugh. “Difficult because I won’t tell you who I was with?”

  The slip of my tongue caused Arthur to go on instant alert again and I inwardly cursed. “You were with Royce,” he said flatly.

  I couldn’t stop the flush spreading across my cheeks and his gaze grew angry again. “I told you to stay the fuck away from him.”

  “Funny,” I challenged. “He told me the same thing about you.”

  “Of course he fucking did!” Arthur exploded, catching the attention of the other freshmen on the hall. It was already a rare sight to see a senior on the freshman hall, much less one raising Cain. I gave him my back and opened the door, stalking in so that he could follow me. Too much of my dirty laundry had been aired out in this academy. I didn’t want to become a sideshow attraction.

  Arthur slammed the door so hard that the picture frames on the wall rattled and I turned to face him, no longer scared of what he might do. “Do you know that he’s going to tell you whatever he can to keep you away from me?” he seethed, shoving a hand through his hair. “Royce is a selfish bastard, only looking out for himself, no one else.”

  “Hm,” I countered. “Sounds like a few other kings I know.”

  Arthur closed his eyes, likely counting to ten so he wouldn’t hit me before opening them again. “Anna, can we talk about this rationally?”

  “So, talk,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not the one losing my mind over something that I had no business trying to control in the first place.”

  “I’m trying to make you see reason,” he replied, his voice softening. “You are playing with fire.”

  “I started playing with fire the day I stepped foot inside this academy,” I answered.

  “All the more reason for you to trust me and me only.”

  Trust him? That was a crock. I couldn’t trust Arthur even if I wanted to anymore. He had lied to me, kept me in the dark about so many things that would have made my past few months here so much easier. I felt like I had wasted so much time with him, believing that he had my best interests at heart only to find out that he wanted to be the first to lay claim to my body, to my future children for his political sake.

  That was one of the many reasons I would never trust him again. “Ever since you found out about my father’s will and my true heritage you have been far too possessive,” I told him, hurt pouring out. “You have got to stop, Arthur. I’m no longer someone you can claim.”

  A wounded look crossed his face. “I’m trying to protect you, Anna. If I don’t, no one else will and you will find out how harsh this world we live in can be.”

  “You mean I haven’t already?” I shot back, letting the bitterness come out in my words. “Tell me, Arthur, what could be worse than having your heart broken by someone you thought cared?”

  “That’s not fair,” he started, but I held up my hand, halting his words.

  “What do you mean that’s not fair? Did you not lead me on and take my virginity all because you would benefit from me being pregnant? Where in those plans did my feelings come into play?”

  “I would have taken care of you,” he countered. “You would have had everything at my disposal as my wife.”

  I laughed harshly. “No, you would have had everything at your disposal, not me.”

  Arthur didn’t respond, but I could see it in his eyes that he had no answer for my retort. It was because he knew I was telling the truth. The only reason he or any of the other kings were interested in me, an orphan, was because of my so-called political standing, and now, the fortune that my father had left me. They didn’t care about me as a person, or the fact that I had a soul that wanted to be loved and cherished.

  Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this life after all, because I didn’t think any of them had a soul to begin with. “Why are you here anyway?” I finally asked, tired of fighting with him. We could go around and round all night about the shortcomings between us.

  “Because,” he said, his own voice sounding tired. “You missed our appointment.”

  Oh yeah, the lessons that he was supposed to be giving me. How very different I felt about them now that I had taken lessons from Royce. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “You might as well.”

  “Are the lessons truly for me or just to prepare me for marriage to you?”

  He drew up short on that question, though I didn’t really need an answer. It was written all over his face. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I thought so. Good night, Arthur.”

  His jaw clenched but he turned around and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him hard. My hands shook and I lowered myself to the bed. I was tired of this fighting constantly, not just with Arthur but with nearly everyone I came in contact with.

  I was tired of feeling like someone was always out to get me, to use me in their own plans.

  I was tired of being this new me. When I was an orphan, no one ever gave a shit about me. They didn’t want anything from me, well usually not, anyway, and I was free to be my own person. That had been the dream when I graduated as well, yet here I was, trying to navigate through waters I didn’t understand.

  With help from people I didn’t understand.

  Royce had been right though, in telling me to mind my time around Arthur. He had grown super possessive since he had found out about my true identity, like he was protecting me from everyone when he needed to protect me from himself.

  There was still an ulterior motive there, as there was with Royce. Max was the only one who had not revealed any sort of motive yet.

  I knew it was coming though. They all needed me, but for all the wrong reasons.

  The door opened suddenly, and I raised my head, meeting Johanna’s eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked, shutting the door behind her. “I saw Arthur nearly tear off the head of a freshman that bumped into him in the hallway. Did you fight again?”

  “It’s fine,” I said, fighting back the emotion in my voice. I was going to stick to my original plan and not share everything with her, in case I needed to break away in the future. “The usual.”

  She didn’t look convinced. “You can tell me, you know. I’m not like the kings.”

  I waved a hand at her, forcing a smile. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll be all right. Are you ready for supper?”

  Johanna rolled her eyes. “Dinner, Anna. No one says supper around here.”

  I breathed an inward sigh of relief, the tension easing off for now. Johanna wasn’t going to push, but I knew she would start to fish, especially if word got out about me meeting Royce for lessons as well.

  I wasn’t ready to explain anything to anyone, not even her.

  **

  The next morning, I took myself to the library, needing some time alone. The curator was seated at his desk as he always was, and he gave me a friendly wave. “Miss Komita, what can I help you with today?”

  I pushed my bag up on my shoulder. “Nothing, really. I’m just coming to hide out.”

  He grinned, gesturing toward the chair in front of the desk. “Then sit, lassie, and have a moment to hide. No one comes in here unless they are forced to do so or need some advice anyway.”

  I took that seat, dropping my bag on the floor. “I’ve always loved the smell of old books. Sometimes I think I was destined to become a librarian.”

  He chuckled. “Tis a fine job, but I wouldn’t want anyone to waste their life away in a library when they are destined for so much more.”

  I looked at him. “Have you heard something I haven’t?”

  The curator winked at me. “Of cours
e. This castle has ears, you know. There are no secrets here, no matter how much you try to hide them.”

  I sighed. Of course there weren’t. “What do you think I should do then? Everyone has their own opinion, but no one has given me a good one yet.”

  “I think,” he started, tapping his wrinkled finger to his chin. “That you have to make that decision, lassie. There is always gonna be someone who is not happy with your decision, I can promise you that. But they do not have to live the life you choose. Only you have to do so, and you might as well make it one that you enjoy.”

 

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