by R. C. Martin
At the sound of a bird chirping outside her kitchen window, she smiled. She knew precisely how she could while away the hours of her day. Taking the note along with her, Theodora returned to her room and got dressed for a morning out in the cool, crisp air of the Colorado autumn day. She slipped into a pair of plain, black leggings and a thin, gray, hooded sweater. Tucking her feet into tennis shoes, she knew she would likely be chilly upon first making her exit—but the trek to her final destination would warm her.
Anxious to get outside, she hurried to the bathroom and brushed her teeth before splashing water on her face. She didn’t bother with any makeup but wrestled her thick, messy mane into a top bun. With a single glance at her reflection, she deemed herself as presentable as the open sky could ever ask her to be. Pocketing her phone and her note from Judah, she grabbed her camera bag, her wallet, and her keys before she took her leave.
Theodora didn’t fiddle with the radio as she drove to her first stop. Her sound system was hit or miss on a good day, and she was too preoccupied to worry about filling the silence within her old Honda Civic. When she reached the familiar parking area at the base of her favorite trail, she didn’t waste any time climbing out of her vehicle. With her camera strapped around her back, she drew in a refreshing inhale and began her hike.
It took her a little over an hour to reach the summit. Her mind still clouded with thoughts of Judah, she didn’t capture a single image on her ascent. When she reached the top, and the view of the reservoir stretched on and on below her, she stopped and stared. She pulled in a slow, deep breath—allowing the fresh air to fill her lungs completely—and then sighed happily. For the first time since she woke up, she felt a sense of peace. The landscape all around her was a reminder that she was such a small part of creation—her life merely one storyline amongst many.
She lowered herself to the ground, folding her legs beneath her, and felt the cool breeze as it played with the hairs at the nape of her neck. She allowed herself to feel small and insignificant, hoping to find the perspective she longed for to calm her down. Even if only for a minute.
Her life had changed in the most unexpected of ways in such a short span of time. For four years, she’d guarded her heart and her body—keeping them both under lock and key. In less than four months, Judah encouraged her to let him in, and she was ready to let him have it all. That truth was almost unbelievable, especially considering how they met.
She was convinced he was an asshole. Arrogant. Self-centered. Rude.
And gorgeous, she thought with a small smile. The most gorgeous asshole I’d ever met in my entire life.
Sometimes, it still surprised her—the extent to which she misjudged him. He was a gentleman. Patient. Gentle. Thoughtful. Confident.
And sexy. God, he’s so sexy.
It didn’t take long for Theodora’s thoughts to run away with her. Only, rather than focus on all the ways in which Judah took her breath away, her mind took her down another path. She questioned her own body and all of its inadequacies. Her belly twisted in knots as she imagined herself completely naked in front of the man. She wondered if seeing all of her would be enough for him.
Then her thoughts wandered even farther down a dark and shadowy lane. Slipping her arms around herself, she remembered the ways in which she was imperfect—down to the irreparable damage of her insides. She wasn’t whole. Not completely. Not anymore. Regardless of how adamant Judah was that her inability to have children changed nothing, it didn’t restore her.
Theodora shook her head at herself and willed her mind to focus on the positive. Remembering the note she’d pocketed earlier, she extracted it and held it between her fingers. As she stared at the neat handwriting, she forced herself to read the lines over and over again. Each time her eyes traced the words, she grabbed hold of the sentiment behind Judah’s message.
He’s been counting down the days—waiting for me.
For me.
That meant something.
That meant everything.
Pressing the note against her chest, she gazed out at the water and reached for the peace she’d found only moments ago. More than the insecurities which filled her mind with doubt, she wanted him. Greater than her scars was her love for him.
Tonight—that’s all that matters.
Chapter Three
I stood in front of the full-length mirror as I glided a belt through the loops of my black slacks. Before I clasped the buckle closed, I smoothed the hem of my black button-up into my pants. With every garment of clothing in which I adorned myself, I imagined Teddy taking it off. It was distracting to the point of embarrassment but almost entirely unavoidable.
Lifting my gaze to look into my own eyes, I willed myself to reign in my desire. I smoothed my hand over my hair and then turned to finish getting ready. As I stood in front of half my shoe collection, I didn’t hesitate to reach for my black leather, cap toe, laced dress boots. I barely had them in my grasp when I imagined precisely how long it would take me to get out of them. Immediately, I returned them in favor of the buckled, burgundy boots, with the zipper along the inside ankle.
After my shoes were on my feet, I pulled the slim-fit, English style, wine-red, striped blazer from its hanger. I eyed my watch drawer as I slipped my arms inside the jacket and shrugged it over my shoulders. When my cuffs and collar were comfortably adjusted, I reached for my black and gold Movado timepiece and clasped it on as I made my way into the bedroom. Checking the time, I noted I was still fifteen minutes early. It didn’t matter. I grabbed my wallet, my phone, and my Porsche key from my bookshelf. One glance at the bed was enough to have me out the door without a moment’s hesitation.
Better to be early and in her space than on time and impatient in mine.
My pride was weak in comparison to my longing. For one night, I decided I didn’t mind. I wanted Teddy desperately. I’d been waiting for months. But there was also the undeniable reality of my preference. I was calling her my woman—something I hadn’t done with anyone in a decade.
It all came down to the unexplainable. Given the choice between the shy, gorgeous redhead and anyone else, even the promise of a guaranteed lay wasn’t enough to change my mind or alter my loyalty. I wanted my demure woman. Yet, even after admitting said truth, there was still more—more I didn’t bother to explore. As I folded myself into the driver’s side of my sports coupe, I reasoned whatever it was beckoning me to her would be answered the moment I was inside of her.
I commanded the garage door open and hesitated before I backed out onto the driveway. A slight scowl tugged at my brow as I wondered whether or not one night would break the spell. I questioned if her greatest appeal was her resistance juxtaposed with her desire. After a moment, I shook the thought away and shifted into reverse. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that my relationship with Teddy was always going to be temporary. We’d promised each other nothing.
If the illusion of this desire is shattered after I’ve had her, I’ll know. I’ll know, and I won’t regret making the discovery that she’s not as extraordinary as I’ve tricked myself into believing.
Honestly—it might even be a relief.
Easing into the early Saturday evening traffic beyond my neighborhood, I reheard the warning my brother spoke to me weeks prior.
Be careful with her, okay? We’re not all as hard as you. Don’t string her along like it’s some game.
Regardless of the fact that I couldn’t predict the outcome of the evening ahead of me, I was certain what existed between Teddy and myself was not a game. My conversation with Aunt Eddalyn that very morning was proof, if I needed any—and I wasn’t sure I did. Teddy was more than a conquest. Her body was more than a prize. When she offered it to me, I was all too aware I owed her something in return. Even more, I wanted to give it to her.
Upon reaching her apartment complex, I didn’t bother to look at the time before I exited my vehicle and headed for her unit. I clasped my jacket closed as I climbed the st
airs, waiting somewhat impatiently for an answer after I knocked on her door. When she appeared, she looked almost surprised—but the smile that lit up her face as her eyes met mine was familiar.
Her happiness to see me was momentarily disarming. Then my gaze fell.
I took in the sight of her body in her dark green dress. The neckline covered all of her chest, extending over her collarbone, and the sleeves reached down to her wrists. The hem stopped just above her knee—much as I had grown accustomed. Though, as modest as the cut presented itself to be, the way it sculpted every curve of her body was enough to make my dick stir in anticipation.
“You’re early,” she murmured, causing me to refocus my attention.
I stepped toward her and slid my arm around her waist in order to draw her close. With her body pressed against mine, I became cognizant of her barefoot state.
“I waited all day,” I said softly, leaning down for a kiss. My lips a breath away from hers, I confessed, “I didn’t want to wait a minute more.”
I felt it as her body relaxed against mine the instant before my mouth sealed with hers. She hummed her approval as I tightened my hold around her, emphasizing her sentiment as she circled her arms about my waist. When I traced my tongue along the seam of her lips, she opened up for me and took a step back. Following her lead, but never breaking our kiss, I guided her further into her unit and swept my hand back in order to shut us inside. As soon as we were completely alone, I buried my free hand in her silky locks, titled my head, and kissed her deeper.
I kissed her like we might not leave her apartment at all, and she responded in kind. Teddy moved her arms, sliding her hands up my chest and around the back of my neck. When she leaned into me further, I almost changed my mind about dinner. It was the sound of her moan that reminded me exactly who I held in my arms. She wasn’t just any woman. The night I had planned for her was one I intended to see through—properly.
Her lips were red and swollen when I pulled away—her pretty, brown eyes full of a desire I felt mimicked at my groin. If she stared at me like that for much longer, I’d cave.
“You almost ready?”
“Uh, yeah. I—uh—I just need to grab my things and, um—shoes. I need to put on shoes,” she stammered.
God, she’s fucking adorable, I thought to myself as I brushed my lips across hers once more.
Forcing myself to let her go, I took a step away from her and slipped my hands into my pockets.
“Go ahead,” I instructed.
“Right,” she all but giggled as she reached up to tuck a bit of hair behind her ear. “I’ll just be a minute.”
She didn’t exaggerate. A minute later, I heard the click of her high heeled shoes as she made her way out of her bedroom. Along with her purse, she had a small overnight bag. When she noticed my awareness of it, she offered me a tiny shrug, and a blush colored her cheeks.
“Ready,” she announced shyly.
I reached for her extra bag, and she sucked in a quiet breath as she relinquished it. Without a word, I headed for the door. After Teddy locked up, I offered her my elbow. She held onto me as we descended the stairs to my vehicle.
Once we were both inside, she buckled her seatbelt and inquired, “Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?”
A sly smile played at the side of my mouth as I started the car and backed out of the parking spot. I didn’t bother justifying my evasiveness even to myself. To have done so would have required dipping into state of vulnerability I refused to acknowledge. I simply shook my head at her and denied her the answer, not for the first time.
“You and your surprises.”
“Are you going to sit there and tell me it isn’t more fun this way?” I asked, reaching over to slip my hand between her knees.
She sandwiched my fingers reflexively, and my smile grew. Teddy might have been the most responsive woman I had ever encountered.
“No,” she conceded.
We rode in a comfortable silence toward Old Town. It wasn’t a long ride, and I managed to find a parking spot with hardly any trouble. As we prepared to cross the street, Teddy reached for my hand. I clasped my fingers around hers thoughtlessly; and when traffic cleared, we hurried toward the sidewalk. I glanced down at her as we headed toward our first stop. I knew she’d caught on when her grip tightened.
“Judah,” she laughed, leaning into me a little more. “Are you serious?”
Speaking through a knowing grin, I answered, “Seemed only fitting.”
Another giggle bubbled out of her as we approached the front doors of Aussie’s Steakhouse. We hadn’t been back since the night of our double date with our siblings. She ran away from me that night. The tables had definitely turned since then—in more ways than one.
“You know, you think you have everyone fooled,” she spoke sweetly as we waited for our table to be reset. “Not me.”
Staring down at her, I saw the knowing glint that twinkled in her eyes. She was beautiful, and I didn’t pretend she wasn’t something to admire.
“What are you talking about?” I asked after a pause.
“You are a romantic. You try to hide it, but I see right through you, Mr. St. Michaels.”
I chuckled, both amused and enamored by her. “I don’t think so,” I murmured.
“What else do you call it—you bringing me here, of all places, on this night…of all nights?” Her freckled cheeks blossomed with a rosy blush as she drew to the end of her question, and my fingers squeezed hers reflexively.
“Clever, Miss Fitzpatrick. I’m clever.”
She grinned at me before she tucked her chin to her chest and leaned into my side. Shaking her head slightly, she murmured, “Whatever you say.”
Chapter Four
We stayed at dinner long enough for Teddy to enjoy two glasses of chardonnay with her meal. A single glance from across the table was all I needed to understand she was as ready as I was to get out of there. It wasn’t that either of us had ever actually spoken the words. We hadn’t somehow agreed that night would be the night. Words weren’t required. Neither did I need her to explain why she gripped my hand so tightly as we returned to the Porsche, or the reason behind her jittering legs as I drove her back to my place.
Calm and collected as I was on the outside, she wasn’t the only one brimming with excitement.
As soon as I pulled into my garage and killed the engine, a brief, laden moment of silence settled between us. The instant I reached to unbuckle my seatbelt, Teddy blurted, “Let’s play a game.”
Quirking an eyebrow at her, I repeated, “A game?”
She clutched her purse in her lap and glanced toward the door to the house. She swallowed hard, nodding as she hummed, “Mmhmm.”
“Theodora,” I began, my voice soft and low. “I don’t want to play a game.”
“Well, what if—what if, at the end of this game, I’m naked?”
My dick jerked and my chest swelled at her proposal.
“I’m listening.”
Teddy hesitated a moment, sweeping a bit of hair behind her ear. “Okay. Give me two minutes. You stay here, and I’ll go inside. Then, when you find me, you can…have me.”
Her promise sent a rush of blood to my crotch, making me hard and uncomfortable in my seat. I wet my lips at the thought of seeing her completely bare, then I reached for her chin. Pressing my lips against hers, I took what I needed in order to endure the two minutes ahead of me. When she sucked in a breath at my kiss, I felt it as a bit of my restraint disintegrated.
“The clock starts now,” I muttered.
She giggled, the sound off-kilter with what I assumed was nervous anxiety. I didn’t have time to think about it as she pulled away from me and raced inside. She wasn’t gone ten seconds, and I was ready to go in after her. In an attempt to honor her request, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Remembering the overnight bag I tossed into the backseat earlier, I reached for it. As soon as it was in my grasp, I couldn’t sit in the car a moment l
onger.
I stood between my vehicles for as long as I could stand it. I reached down and tried to relieve my angst, adjusting myself in my tailored trousers. My touch only made it worse, and I decided she’d had enough time. Walking briskly, I entered my home. The first thing I saw was her purse—abandoned at the threshold of my mudroom. Slowing my pace, I stepped over it and gazed down the hallway. I spotted her shoe at the end of the short corridor, and I dropped her bag beside it.
The only light Teddy turned on was the one in the hallway. The warm glow above me stretched far enough for me to see a second shoe on my metal staircase. I took one step in its direction, and then I stopped. Laughing quietly to myself, I realized as large as my house was—regardless of where she scattered her clothes—there was only one place she could possibly be. I knew her. I knew her in ways I never imagined I would, and I didn’t waste another moment contemplating where my treasure was hiding.
Entering the bedroom, I shrugged my way out of my jacket. I hooked my fingers at the collar and carried it into my closet, dropping it the second I tripped on the light in the room. I knew where I would find her. I knew how I’d find her—and yet, I wasn’t the least bit prepared.
The first time I kissed her, it was the ink she revealed to me on her legs that I’d tasted. Since then, my hands had explored her body, but this—this I’d never seen. In my imagination, I often wondered how many more freckles my woman was hiding. While there were certainly many I intended to touch, she’d been hiding much more.
Her back was covered in ink. It startled me how stunning it was. More than that, how hauntingly perfect it was.
Each of her tattoos came with a story—but this tattoo was an anecdote in and of itself. It was an explanation as much as it was a declaration. I wasn’t arrogant enough to assume I knew exactly what it meant; but I would have been an idiot not to recognize how her backpiece was her story—one she was finally ready to share with me.
