by Devin Hanson
“You’re lying. I would have felt something.”
“Oh, no. He had passed beyond lust, child. Paul had convinced himself that he loved you, and love and lust do not mix. He loved you up to the very moment when you refused him. Now he is a broken man, disillusioned with his vision of perfection. He masturbated six times last night while looking through your photo albums, until he was so raw the tissues he used to clean himself were sticking to his flesh.”
“Ugh.” I shuddered at the image Mahlat had painted.
“Lust is a very powerful emotion, Alexandra, and you must be careful how you employ it. I can tell the fate of Mr. Becker is disturbing for you. I can help you learn to guide your influence. Paul might be beyond saving, but nobody else needs to suffer as he has.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you would love that. But it’s not going to happen.”
Steven nodded and relaxed back on the bed. “We will see, Alexandra. Do not forget my offer, though.” His face slackened and his eyes tightened with pain and exhaustion. Mahlat had retreated back to whatever corner of Steven’s head she used when she wasn’t using the guy as a meat puppet.
A second later, I heard footsteps rapidly approaching. Tovarrah swung into view, her face tight with concern. She leaned over Steven and smiled down at him. “Steven, I’m here. I’m so glad you’re back with us! What did you need to tell me?”
I backed off and let Tovarrah have the room. I don’t think I’d be able to listen to whatever Steven had to tell Tovarrah with a straight face. Whatever else happened, I really did not want Tovarrah to get the idea I was in direct communication with the demon. Not only would her possible information dry up, but she would more than likely start trying to kill me again.
There was enough chaos in my life right now without that making things worse. I leaned against the doorway and stared at my shoes morosely. My conversation with Mahlat ran through my head on repeat, drowning out the world around me.
Had she been telling the truth about Paul Becker? Had my Instagram photos really caused someone to throw away their life? And if they had, was I responsible? How unstable did someone have to be for a few pictures to make them throw away everything they had spent their entire life building? Could I really be held accountable for the actions of a crazy person?
Someone jostled my elbow and I looked up. Father Deron nodded at my waist. “Are you going to answer that?”
My phone. I pulled it out and looked at the number. It was Sam, and I had already missed two calls from him. I picked up. “Hey, Sam. Sorry.”
“Are you all right?”
I grimaced at the worry in his voice. “I’m fine. Just… busy. What’s up?”
“Doctor Fenway sent out the word to get all the bodies in the county morgues frozen. She said something about invoking a disease protocol, but honestly it was over my head. Anyway, she was checking the bodies in the autopsy room. One of them had apparently clawed some numbers into its chest before freezing solid.”
I rubbed my forehead. “What’re the numbers?”
“3111. Any idea what that might mean?”
A chill ran up my spine and I glanced over at Steven. He had his head turned toward me, his eyes fixed on my face and a knowing smile hovered about his lips. “Yeah. It’s my address.”
There was a pregnant pause, then Sam cursed softly. “You’re going into protective custody.”
“The hell I am,” I hissed back. I glanced up at Deron and waved him away when he took half a step toward me. “No way. I’m not getting stuck in a safe house somewhere while this thing rips the city apart.”
“Then a protective detail—”
“Yeah,” I scoffed, “what are they going to do? Shoot it? How well did that work the last time you tried?”
“Damn it, Alex! I’m trying to help!”
“You want to help, figure out what the hell it’s doing in Los Angeles. Until we do that, we’re stuck reacting to it.”
In the distance, I could hear Sam swearing, but when he got back on the phone, he seemed calmer. “We’re working on that. Are you safe right now?”
I eyed Tovarrah’s back. “Safer than you, I wager. It won’t attack me here. Not if it knows what is good for it.”
“And where is ‘here’? Do I want to know?”
“Still following up on my lead. So far, I haven’t learned anything useful, but I’m not out of options yet.”
“Look, Alex, if you don’t want a detail, I can’t force one on you. But I also don’t have to sit idly by while the only expert we have gets targeted. I’ll post up outside of your place tonight.”
“What? No!” I could already hear the neighbors complaining.
“Then I’ll sleep on your couch. Those are your options.”
I ground my teeth and pulled my phone away to glare at the screen, as if I could somehow stare daggers at Sam through the cell connection. “Fine. Then bring burgers and fixings. If you’re going to be that way, you can help cook dinner. Oh, and pick up a bag of food for Grim. He’s out.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Sam hung up and I tucked my phone away. At least that was one less errand I had to run.
“Trouble?”
I tried a reassuring smile on for Tovarrah, but it must not have been very convincing.
“Speak, Alexandra. You have given me your aid, now how can I return the favor?”
“I don’t know, Tovarrah,” I said reluctantly. “It’s not something I can really ask anyone for aid with.”
“Please, I would consider it an honor.”
That old-world hospitality was going to bite her in the ass someday. “If you’re certain…?” I trailed off, baiting in Tovarrah’s assurance, then said, “There is a ghoul in Los Angeles.”
I watched the play of emotions across Tovarrah’s face. Amusement slipped into polite incredulity, then dropped into wary disbelief. “Impossible.”
Speaking quietly to avoid being overheard, I gave Tovarrah the short version of the events of the last few days, skipping over the part where the ghoul had tackled me over a third-story balcony and paralyzed me. Tovarrah listened, slowly growing more concerned as it became evident I hadn’t been mistaken.
“Ghouls in Los Angeles,” she sighed when I finished. “This is a dark day.”
“How do we kill it?”
Tovarrah coughed a bitter laugh. “If ever we could discover that secret, it would change our Eastern front forever.”
“Damn it,” I growled in frustration. “What do we do, then?”
“Cutting down the number of available bodies for the ghoul is a good place to start. But never have I heard of a ghoul failing in its intended goals. They are relentless, unpredictable, and ever-changing. Too many people die every day in Los Angeles for your measure to be anything but an inconvenience.”
“I suppose this would be a bad time to mention that it has promised to kill me,” I said with a weak smile.
Tovarrah reached out to place a hand on my shoulder. Her face was drawn and sad. “You are a resourceful woman,” she said. “If anyone can survive a ghoul, it is you.”
“Great.”
“On a different topic, once again you have succeeded in bringing Steven back from the brink! You’re a natural at this.”
“Yay. So, what’s next for Steven? Do we still need to find the name of the demon?”
“To succeed in an exorcism, it is the only way. But the demon has relinquished its hold even further. You have bought us time.”
“Yeah, but time to do what?”
“Each exorcism is different, Alexandra. It is a personal thing. The demon inside ultimately has its power through the permission of the host. If Steven can be brought to reject the demon, then we will have prevailed. But to do so, we must understand exactly what transpired. What happened that drove him to beseech the darkness for relief from a life turned unendurable?”
“Sorry… I don’t see how that gives you a game plan.”
“It’s simple
enough, though the actions can be challenging. You must find a way into his private life, before the demon began influencing him.”
“I suppose that would work. It’s not going to be easy though… wait. Me?”
Tovarrah gestured at herself. “I am hard to miss. Straights do not find me easy to confide in.”
I eyed her brilliant red hair on top of her six-foot-ten frame. Even dressing conservatively, she would be the most conspicuous woman in the room. “You’re not wrong.”
“Good, then we are agreed.”
I suppressed a sigh. If there was one thing I hated most about Tovarrah, it was the way she maneuvered to get what she wanted without ever giving me the chance to refuse. “Fine. I’ll see what I can dig up.”
“Stay strong. Your sacrifices will bring you closer to God, Alexandra. Keep that knowledge close to your heart.”
Right.
Chapter Ten
By the time I made it back home, the sun was already behind the mountains and the temperature had dropped down to the low-fifties. I didn’t have a jacket to wear yet, and the wind chill had sucked the warmth out of me. That wasn’t cold for most of the country, but in Los Angeles it was the equivalent of having three feet of snow on the ground.
I pulled around to the parking lot and found Sam’s car was already there. He drove a re-tooled Mustang in flawless black and gleaming chrome. I wasn’t a car person by any description, but it looked like the kind of ride vehicle enthusiasts would go weak-kneed over.
I let myself in, rubbing my arms and trying to suppress the shivering that was threatening to make my teeth chatter. I peeked into the garage and saw Ryan had made some progress on cleaning up the piled junk. Maybe about half of the crusty metal scrap had been hauled away.
Male voices were coming from the back, but I headed to my bedroom first. I needed a sweater or something. I bundled up, added a scarf to help speed up the warming process, then went to find what Ryan and Sam were up to. I found them in the back lot, beers in hand, fussing over the grill where a nice bed of coals was already burning.
“Hey, Alex! Perfect timing. Grill is hot and ready to cook.” Ryan offered me a beer and I accepted it.
My hands felt like they were the same temperature as the cold bottle, but I twisted the cap off and took a slug anyway. “You made pretty good progress in the garage,” I said. “Where’s the dumpster?”
“If by progress you mean finished, then yeah.” Ryan smirked and dragged from his beer. “I had the dumpster hauled as soon as I finished cleaning out the junk. Sam brought plenty of grub. You want a burger or something classy?”
I raised my eyebrows. “There’s still work to do in the garage, Ryan.”
Ryan’s grin slipped a little. “What do you mean? You could have eaten off that floor when I was done with it.”
“Only if you want tetanus.”
We locked gazes. Ryan’s eyes were confused and hurt. “Are you pulling my leg?”
“Why would I be? I’m not busting your balls or anything. You did good work getting out as much as you did.”
“You’re funny, Alex.” Ryan set his beer down on the edge of the grill and waved a hand at me. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
Bemused, I followed Ryan back inside. Sam came with us, his face carefully neutral. We filed into the garage and Ryan flicked on the lights with a sweeping gesture. “See? All clean and…”
With the lights on, the grimy piles of junk on the back wall looked smaller than they had appeared in the gloom, but they were definitely there. “Like I said,” I shrugged, “you must have hauled out over a ton of crap. That’s good work for a day.”
“No.” Ryan turned about, even more confusion on his face. “This was clean! It was gone! Is this a joke? If it is, it isn’t funny.” He looked between Sam and myself, confusion starting to turn into irritation.
“I just got home,” I protested. “And I want the garage clean as much as you do. Where would I get all this shit anyway? Don’t sweat it. You can finish cleaning it out tomorrow.”
Something warm pushed against the back of my knees, almost making me fall over. Grim wove between my legs before settling down to sit on my feet. He tilted his head back to yowl up at me, before staring at the piles of junk with the rest of us. I squatted down and ran my hand absently down Grim’s back. For the first time, he didn’t seem to mind being pet, and I sank my frigid fingers into his warm coat.
Sam clapped Ryan on the shoulder. “I’m going to put some steaks on. Sound good, Alex, or do you still want a burger?”
“I’m not going to turn down a steak,” I grinned.
“That’s the spirit. I put some sides in the fridge,” Sam said as he left. “If we’re going to have steaks, might as well do it right.”
“I swear I’m telling the truth, Alex,” Ryan said.
I frowned up at him. “What’s the problem, Ryan? There’s still junk, but that’s okay.”
“The problem is, when I sent the dumpster away, this place was spotless. See? Come look!”
I gave Grim a last pat and stood up to walk over to Ryan’s side. He pointed down at the ground. “What am I looking at?”
“The concrete is clean under all this. Someone must have come by and dumped this stuff back in here.”
“Huh.” I vaguely remembered the floor being nearly black with decades of oil and filth. It was definitely strange. “You think someone broke in here? And… what? Dragged stuff out of the dumpster and put it back?”
Grim butted his head against the back of my knee again, making me stagger. He walked in front of me and sat down, his tail twitching as he stared at the junk.
“What’s with the cat? He’s been acting weird all day.”
I shrugged. “He’s a cat. Do they ever not act weird?”
Ryan coughed out a reluctant laugh. “I suppose you’re right. You believe me, though?”
“Look, Ryan, I honestly don’t care one way or the other. You don’t strike me as someone who would lie, but I hardly know you. You say you cleaned the garage and someone put the junk back as a prank, okay, I believe you.” I paused and frowned. “If you’re right, though, that’s a little worrying. How did they get in? Did you leave the house?”
“I took a nap around three, once the job was done. I woke up at four when the truck came to haul the dumpster away… I never checked the garage after that.” He rubbed his face and sighed. “The gate was open so the truck could pick up the dumpster. I suppose the workers could have pulled this junk out before calling me to wake me up.”
“That could be.” I sighed. “Well, let’s just make sure the gates are kept locked in the future, unless someone is awake and paying attention.” It would help keep any future petty vandalism in check, but was a laughably underwhelming precaution against the ghoul.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to challenge you. You’re doing me a big favor here, after all.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’d probably have had my hackles up too. You hungry? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
“Hell yes. I’ll see what sides Sam brought and get those ready.”
I punched Ryan lightly in the shoulder and headed out to see what trouble Sam was getting himself into. The smell of cooking steak met me as I stepped out the back door. After being inside for a few minutes I had just started getting warm again and now the chill of the evening bit at my exposed skin.
“That smells amazing.”
Sam glanced back at me and nodded absently, keeping his attention on the steaks sizzling over the coals.
I came up next to him and watched the dancing flames lick up where the juices were splashing down. All I could think about was how we had had sex last night. Now he was here, spending the night with me, but there was no sexual tension between us. He might as well have been in dress whites on parade instead of jeans and flannel for all the attention he was giving me.
“Thanks for coming over,” I said, trying to think of something to fill the quiet between
us. “You didn’t have to.”
“We went over this,” Sam said dryly. “You’re not guilting me into leaving.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“And we’re not being intimate again.”
I felt my face flush and I turned away, folding my arms across my chest. “Yeah. You’ve made that abundantly clear.”
Sam sighed and busied himself with flipping steaks. In the glow of the flames, I could see the pensive frown on his face. “I’ve put some thought into what happened last night,” he said finally.
“Do you know why I live alone?” I asked, cutting him off.
“Uh, I haven’t—”
“If I have sex too often with someone, no matter their strength of will, they won’t be anything more than mindless sycophants, unable to think of anything beyond their next chance to fuck me.” Sam flinched at the bitter vitriol in my voice, but I pushed forward, all my built-up frustrations and despondent gloom rushing out at once. “I can’t have someone live under the same roof as me for more than a few nights in a row or they waste away and die. I can’t have a steady relationship because I might have sex one time too many and drive them insane. You think I don’t dream of being able to sleep next to someone I love at night? You think I don’t want to have someone I can turn to when the world seems impossibly hostile? I would jump at the chance to have a boyfriend. The more I like someone, the less I trust myself around them.”
I clenched my fists and stared into the coals. “How do you think I feel? I can’t allow myself to have a meaningful relationship. I envy you, Sam. You’ll be able to find a nice girl who can love you the way you deserve. Me? I’ll never have anything but lust in my life.”
“Alex…”
“Forget it.” I flashed him a mirthless smile. “You’re completely correct. We are not going to be intimate,” I leaned hard on his choice of words, “because if we did, I might have to explain to Lara why her partner is a drooling idiot stalker now.”
I drew a hard breath and let it out. Tried on a more sincere smile. “But thank you for coming over tonight. It means a lot to me that you care enough to go out of your way to keep me safe. I think I’ll go inside and see if Ryan needs any help organizing sides.”
