“Moses was told to say to Pharoah, ‘I AM has sent me,’ (Ex 3:14) but we must go beyond the position of Moses, as Jesus—our Great Example—did. Jesus said, ‘I AM the resurrection and the life…whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.’ (Jn 11:25-26) How could he say this, we might wonder, since all of Jesus’ followers during his lifetime have obviously died? Haven’t all of us lost loved ones to death? And most important, won’t all of us physically die?” He paused again, looking out over the entire congregation. “Do any of us think that some angels are going to roll away a stone for us, or confound some soldiers? Do we think that God is going to lift us into the air, right out past the stratosphere, and into Heaven?” He paused dramatically, “No, of course not. But then, what other hope do we have?”
Returning to his normal speaking voice, he said, “The reason that Jesus is called the ‘Christ’—which is a title, and not his last name, by the way, for those of you who mistakenly thought his name was ‘Jesus H. Christ’…,” which brought laughter from the audience. “He is called the ‘Christ’ because he had the realization, the Christ Consciousness, that is available to all of us. ‘Christ’ means ‘anointed one,’ and he certainly was that—though not in the crude, biological and genealogical way that some people imagine it to be, where it all hinges upon him being a ‘Son of David’ of the ‘Tribe of Judah,’ and so on. No, Jesus said, ‘Before Abraham was, I AM.’ (Jn 8:58) He could have been born of Cain, or Saul, or Herod, and it wouldn’t have made any difference, because this is all taking place in the Divine Mind, ‘before Abraham was!’ He also said, ‘the Father/Mother is in me, and I in them.’ (Jn 10:38) This means that he was completely attuned to, he was in absolute harmony with, the Divine Spirit that permeates all of life. Jesus was not simply a particular historical individual, he was the Cosmic Christ. The Christ nature that he exhibited so profoundly is our own higher self, that we can actualize through meditation and prayer. If Jesus is truly going to be our example, then we must do as Jesus did, and become part of the great I AM—unify ourselves with it in our thoughts, and in our words.”
Holding his hands against his chest in a defensive manner, Dr. Naibaum said, “Some people think that Jesus’ consciousness was unique, a ‘singularity,’ in scientific terms. But even the Apostle Paul said, ‘Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.’ (Phil 2:5-6) So even Paul says that we are to have this mind in us! We are to realize that thinking ourself equal with God is not ‘robbery,’ but it is in fact our birthright! Jesus was certainly not intending to limit us when he said things about himself; on the contrary, he said, ‘Whoever believes in me, greater works will they do,’ (Jn 14:12). The Christ is the true higher self of each one of us. Indeed, all of us are the children of God, as we unite with this higher self. Once again, I quote the Apostle Paul: ‘I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.’ (2 Cor 6:17-18) So let this mind be in you that was in Jesus the Christ, and then you will experience the Atonement, which really means ‘At-One-Ment’ with the Divine Spirit. It is being attuned to this Christ Consciousness—as Jesus himself knew so well—that guarantees our own eternity. Heaven is not a place, it is a state of mind, where we are in harmony with the Divine; likewise, Hell is not a fiery place of torment for ‘bad’ people, it is the condition of being out of harmony with the Divine. One does not have to die to go to Hell or Heaven; we can experience these conditions right here and now—and this is truly what is known as ‘eternal life.’”
He paused dramatically, before closing with, “And this is how we can know that this life is not the ‘end’—by participating in eternal life in our very lifetimes here, we know with absolute certainty that what people call ‘death’ is nothing more than a transition, in which our physical bodies are cast off, leaving us freer than we have ever been before! So, without sounding too much like an evangelical or a holy roller, let me just close by saying, ‘Hallelujah’!” And the congregation broke out in applause, and various verbal expressions of appreciation. (Jobran thought could hear the young black woman Orinda speaking in what sounded like the “tongues” he had heard in Pentecostal churches.)
Finally raising his hands, and motioning for the congregation to lower our heads, Dr. Naibaum said, “Let us now meditate, each in our own way…,” and closed his eyes. The soft environmental recording began playing again, this time of a gentle rain. Jobran realized that all around him, heads had instinctively bowed, and he felt as out of place as he had the first time he ever attended a Catholic Mass, and everyone suddenly knelt. Although Jobran had read dozens of books about Hinduism and Buddhism, talking about the importance of meditation practice, he realized that he had never personally tried it. (For that matter, I’ve never even been much of a practitioner of prayer in a Christian sense, either, he thought, guiltily.) Jobran closed his eyes, and tried to remember what meditation teachers had said about the importance of paying attention to one’s breath; to focusing on the present moment; to ignoring the ‘external dialogue’ in is own mind, but his own thoughts kept intruding.
Is the eternal God also here, in this place? Jobran wondered. I know I have a problem whenever I go to a Church and am asked or invited to pray, because in a very fundamental sense, I know that I don’t really “have faith” any longer that there truly is someone who is listening to my prayer or my petition. I didn’t always have such doubts: when I was a kid I would pray, with no doubt but that the Almighty was personally and directly listening to my prayer. But now, I…I just don’t know, given my experience after Sophia’s death. His eyes moistened with emotion, as the rain soundtrack was changing to a few droplets here and there, to the sound of birds starting to chirp again, merging into the majestic sound of a mighty waterfall. Desperately, he thought, God, if you’re truly there, I just hope that you can understand; I’m trying the best that I can, but I’m still lost down here without Sophia.
The background tape turned into a lovely recording of various wind chimes, and the meditation time came to an end; looking up, Jobran saw that Dr. Naibaum had returned to his seat, and the rest of the congregation was beginning to stir from their seats.
Instinctively returning to his rational analytical mode of thinking, Jobran reflected that Dr. Naibaum had been rather vague about the exact nature of how we would live eternally: Would we be reunited with loved ones after death? What about people that didn’t attain this ‘Christ Consciousness’ during their lives? he wondered. But given what Jobran knew about the eclecticism of Jana’s own beliefs in reincarnation, and such, he supposed that the rest of the congregation was similarly diverse, and that they perhaps didn’t want anyone to get into too many ‘details’ in messages such as this, for fear of offending someone. So although Jobran had initially been hopeful about hearing something new in the message, he realized that it was unrealistic to expect something radical or “new” in a 10minute message. Which is why I usually spend my time reading, rather than going to church, Jobran thought, with a small smile.
The ushers came forward for the collection (It wouldn’t be a church unless they had a collection, right? Jobran thought), and the church choir began to sing a traditional joyous Spiritual while the collection was being taken. (The young black woman, Orinda, who had spoken earlier, was the soloist, and proved to have a beautiful—and powerful—singing voice.) Although Orinda was one of only two African-Americans in the choir, the choir performed the piece very well, with genuine feeling and enthusiasm. The conclusion of the piece was greeted with heartfelt applause, and another standing ovation. (Makes it worth paying for, Jobran had mused, as he put his money into the collection plate.)
The congregation was now directed to turn to the lyrics of a song printed in the program. As the music began, Jobran immediately recognized the tune of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy from his Ninth Symphony, although the words were con
siderably different—much more metaphysically-oriented—from what he was used to, which wa fine, considering that the version that is usually sung in churches—’Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee’—isn’t a translation of Schiller’s text, which Beethoven used.
Reverend Lyssa returned and read a prayer that she attributed to Marianne Williamson (and I remembered that Jana had said that Ms. Williamson was now serving as “Spiritual Leader” of a Unity church back east, probably of a somewhat similar orientation to this one). Then Reverend Bartholomew read the Benediction, from Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.”
And with that, the service was over.
**
* * *
As they began to leave the church—Jobran again had Jana on one arm, and Julia on the other—Jobran reflected that the service was certainly very “positive” and “uplifting” (particularly the music) in a limited sense; but at the same time, it seemed a bit “shallow.” It struck him as kind of a “Religion—Lite” experience: nothing controversial, nothing too deep or intellectual, and certainly nothing spiritually challenging—no discussions of our sins, repentance, doctrine, etc. If the Reformed Church seemed too focused on doctrinal issues to the exclusion of spirituality, this Church possibly seemed too focused in the other direction. Which isn’t necessarily a criticism; there are lots of Pentecostal and charismatic churches that one could make the same point about.
Her face glowing, Jana asked Jobran, “Well, how did you like the service?”
“It was nice,” he replied.
She looked crestfallen. “Nice?” she said, in a hesitant voice. “I’m not sure it that’s a compliment or not.”
Julia intervened, and said, “I’m sure he meant it as a compliment, Jana.” Then addressing Jobran, she said, “Are you a regular church-goer, Jobran?”
“Not any more.”
Julia nodded sympathetically, and said, “I didn’t used to be, until I found this church. I was raised as a Unitarian Universalist, but I finally quit going there.
They’d just gotten too ‘political’ for me, with some people always wanting us to sign petitions, or to volunteer to participate in rallies and protests. I thought, ‘Hey: if I want politics, I’ll turn on the TV.’” She squeezed Jobran’s arm, then added, “I was looking for something with more of a ‘spiritual’ focus; and after I me Jana one day at her bookstore, she invited me, and I’ve been here ever since.” Leaning in closer to Jobran, so that he could smell her expensive perfume, she said, “I certainly hope this won’t be the last time that we see you.” Jobran made a mumbling sound, but didn’t directly reply.
Jana asked Jobran, “What kind of church did you used to attend?”
“The United Church of Christ; it’s a liberal Protestant denomination—probably the most liberal; they were the first to ordain openly gay ministers, for example.” After weighing whether or not to go on, he finally added, “But my wife was Catholic, and I was taking lessons there for a while…”
Stopping, and thus bring Jobran and Jana to a halt, Julia placed her hands gently on both of Jobran’s shoulders, looked him in the eyes, and said, “I was so sorry to hear about your wife; what an awful thing to have to go through…” (although the expression on her face seemingly implied that she was glad that Jobran wasn’t currently married—in this world, at least). Suddenly, she hugged him closely, resting her chin on his shoulder. Embarrassed (not having held a woman other than his sister this closely since Sophia’s death), and yet at the same attracted by Julia’s closeness, Jobran was unable to move, as Julia continued to embrace him.
Seeing Jobran’s obvious discomfiture, Lilith tapped Jobran on the shoulder (thus breaking up the embrace), and said, “I used to be a Catholic, but it was too narrow for me. I wanted to find a church where I could be more of a ‘seeker,’ rather than a church where they were confident that they already had all of the answers, and they just wanted to cram it down your throat each and every Mass.” But with a conciliatory tone, she added, “But there are some authors and speakers among the Catholic Women’s movement that I still enjoy, such as Rosemary Ruether, Sandra Schneiders, Mary Jo Weaver, Joan Chittister, Jeannine Gramick, and Maria Riley, as well as ex- and post-Catholics such as Mary Daly and Uta Ranke-Heinemann.”
Jana suddenly noticed someone in another group, and said, “Oh, wait, there’s Andy!” and she went off to fetch him.
Julia took advantage of her departure, and (ignoring Lilith) said to Jobran, “I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but you seem rather intelligent. Are you a teacher, or something?”
“I used to be a teacher, a while back,” Jobran replied.
Julia asked, “What do you do now? You aren’t teaching any more?”
“No,” Jobran responded, flatly. “Now, I do key entry work, on the graveyard and swing shift.”
Lilith interjected herself back into the conversation, saying, “But Jana says he’s very intelligent—and extremely well read.”
Julia kept probing, “Then how come you gave up teaching?”
Jobran shrugged his shoulders, and said, “I just didn’t have the heart for it any more, I guess.” Why doesn’t she just leave me alone? Jobran thought, desperately.
Julia was apparently about to ask another question when Jana returned with a young man in tow, and said, “Jobran, this is the young man I was telling you about: Andrew Halligyn. Andy, Jobran’s going to be attending your channeling session next Friday.”
Andrew was a young man, probably in his late twenties, who already had the beginnings of a receding hairline among his jet-black mop of hair. He offered his hand to Jobran, and they shook hands lightly.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Jobran—and I’m especially glad that you’ll be attending my session next week!” Andrew said, laughing. “It should be a really good one. It will be a fairly small and intimate gathering, I think—unless Jana has booked so many people that we need to move to an auditorium…?” and he smiled and winked at her.
Ignoring his comment, Jana asked him, “Andy, the thing Jobran is most interested in, is life after death; he just bought a whole bunch of books from me on that subject. Do you think that Omazio will be manifesting—and if so, will he talk about life after death?”
Andrew rolled his eyes, and said, “Well, I can never be certain just what will happen at one of these sessions; when I open myself up to spirit entities, I can’t control what happens. But Omazio is the one who manifests most frequently in me, and judging from tapes I’ve made—I am not aware of what takes place during the session, Jobran, so I have to rely on tapes that I make of each session to see what took place—life after death is one of the most frequent topics of discussion for him, along with future events.” He gave a wink to Jobran, and added, “So I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”
“I don’t suppose you saw Candara today, did you?” Jana asked. “Jobran wanted to meet her, too; he’s thinking about employing her professionally.”
Andrew frowned, and said, “No, I didn’t see her today; but I think she was a guest on one of those very late/very early morning radio talk shows last night, so I’m not surprised.” To Jobran, he said, “We’ve got some of her business cards inside, with her business phone number, if you’d like one.”
“I’ve already got the information from her radio program, thanks,” Jobran replied.
Someone called Andrew’s name, so he said, “I’ve got to go; that’s my ride. It was nice meeting you, Jobran, and I’ll look forward to chatting with you before and after the session next Friday,” and he hurried off to join his other friends.
“I’ve got to be going, too,” Jobran said. “I just got of
f work at 9:30, so I haven’t slept yet.” (He didn’t mention that he was going to have to catch the bus, since this might have led Julia to offer to give him a lift home.)
Julia held out her hand to him, and when he held out his own hand, she squeezed his hand firmly between both of hers, and said, “It was very nice to meet you, Jobran; I know we’ll see you again very soon.”
Then Lilith gently squeezed Jobran’s arm affectionately and said, “It was nice to meet you, too, Jobran.” Then, she whispered in his ear, “And watch yourself, now…!”
Jana asked Jobran, “See you again next Sunday?”
Jobran laughed lightly, and said, “You never can tell,” and waved goodbye, and began to walk away.
“Or at least come by the bookstore again!” she called after him.
“I’m sure I will; but not until after payday!” he called back, chuckling.
Beyond Heaven and Earth Page 51
