I wanted what they had.
I wanted a family. I wanted a husband. I wanted to sit outside on my porch with my arms wrapped around them, wondering what was going on across the street.
I wanted it all.
But, the problem was, I couldn’t have it all.
I had to start over.
Had to find someone to have it all with.
A sharp cough had me looking up just in time to see a reflective flash of yellow light up the night about five houses down.
When the reflection got closer and closer, I realized that the reflection was actually a running belt that was wrapped around Riel’s waist.
The closer he got, the sweatier I realized he was.
At first, I thought that his t-shirt was a dark, dark gray.
Only, it wasn’t dark gray. It was light gray.
The only reason I could tell that was because there was one single spot at the bottom of Riel’s t-shirt that was untouched by his sweat.
“Hey,” I said, standing up. “You’re running?”
I wanted to smack myself in the face the moment those words came out of my mouth.
“Yeah.” He grinned. “I am.”
I shook my head at my words.
“How far did you go?” I asked curiously.
He shrugged. “I have no idea. I just run. An hour and a half or so. Sleep seems to be coming in waves for me. When I can’t sleep, and it’s late enough, I just get up and run.”
His explanation made my heart hurt.
When Luca hadn’t been able to sleep, I’d stayed up with him and watched Netflix until I would fall asleep again.
He’d never turn the show on himself.
But when I turned it on, he finally had the excuse he needed to watch it.
He loathed disturbing me.
Then, I’d thought it was adorable.
Now, I just wished he was there to wake me up at night again.
Something in which I immediately felt guilty about seeing as I was starting to wish that Riel would wake me up at night, too.
If he would just text me, I’d text him back.
Hell, I would’ve even joined him on the run.
“Are you running home after this? Or would you like a ride?” I questioned.
He eyed my attire.
“You look like you’re about to run,” he said. “Which way are you going?”
I shrugged. “I was just going to run. I didn’t have a destination or an amount in mind. But now I’m not sure if I can make it for the run and back home to shower before we’re supposed to meet Gabe and Ember since they agreed to a breakfast date.”
He tilted his head.
“My place is two miles away,” he said. “As long as you cut through the park, anyway. You could just change into a shirt of mine when we got to my place. Or you could keep your clothes on. I could change my shirt and we could just go dressed like this. They have outdoor seating so it wouldn’t be too bad.”
I thought about that and then shrugged.
“Let’s see what they have to say happened,” I suggested. “Then I’ll let you know if I can run afterward or not.”
He grinned, and once again, I was struck by how handsome he was.
The scars didn’t detract from his overall attraction.
They would’ve turned anyone normal off.
But, I found that the scars only added to his appeal to me.
I was quickly beginning to realize that I was fighting a losing battle in my attraction to the man.
“Let’s go.” He paused, his eyes finally taking in the house behind me and not me. “Nice place.”
I shrugged at his unanswered question.
Why did I live in a family neighborhood? Why did I have a three-bedroom house all to myself?
“When I’d moved into this house, it was always with the plan for Luca to move into it with me,” I found myself saying.
Riel’s eyes flicked to me, then away just as quickly.
“Makes sense now,” he murmured. “Did he help you pick it out?”
I shook my head. “No. His sister, Cora, helped me. We found this place and I fell in love with it. She and my dad helped me co-sign.”
I had a feeling that would’ve been his next question—how I could afford a three-bedroom house in this particular neighborhood.
Everyone always asked.
It was one of the more influential ones in Kilgore, and definitely one that people sought out when they were looking for a safe, family-friendly neighborhood.
“Parents are nice like that, I guess.” He paused. “At least your dad and Luca’s are. I haven’t spoken to my supposed parents since I got back.”
I hated that for him.
Even more, I hated that they didn’t care that he’d made it out alive while Gabe and Ember would’ve been ecstatic and over the moon just to get one more day with their son.
It sucked when selfish people were given children they weren’t appreciative of.
“Let’s go,” he suggested, changing the subject.
I allowed the subject change, sensing that he didn’t want to talk about it.
I wouldn’t, either.
Not if I had parents like his that couldn’t care less if he was alive or not.
I mean, what kinds of parents didn’t check on their children?
He was missing for a year and a half!
Upon hearing that he was alive, I would’ve been on the first plane to Germany.
Following that, I would’ve been at his side the moment that he got home. I also wouldn’t have wasted the last few months that he’d been home. I’d be trying to help him remember me.
Hell, he had more memories of Gabe and Ember now than he did of his own parents!
When I stepped off the curb behind him, he grabbed my hand and tugged me backward and to the left.
That was when I saw the police officers barreling around the corner of the fire truck.
“Sorry,” one officer rumbled. “Oh, hey, Riel.”
I smiled, loving that they were now calling him by his nickname and not his first name.
“Officer Taggart,” he said. “Could you tell me what’s going on?”
“Some high school kid got himself shot today,” Officer Taggart answered. “He’s going to be all right, but we think it’s related to the shooting that happened a few weeks ago.”
Riel’s eyes met mine as he widened them at me.
I widened mine right back.
“Yao here?” Riel asked. “And what’s the kid’s name that lives here?”
Officer Taggart pointed to a fuming Yao who was in the corner of the yard.
“I’m not sure of the name,” he admitted. “I just got there, I can ask…”
Riel shook him off. “I’ll go talk to Yao.”
And that was exactly what we did next.
We arrived next to Yao just as he barked some orders at a young officer.
The officer skittered away just as Riel and I arrived.
“Riel, Frankie,” Yao said, his eyes going to my hand that was still firmly placed in Riel’s.
I was absently rubbing my hands over Riel’s scars, and that was when I realized what, exactly, I was doing.
But when I tried to pull away, Riel tightened his grip.
“What happened?” Riel asked, refusing to let me go.
Yao sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
“Teenage turf war or something,” he muttered darkly. “I talked to this kid a couple of days ago and he told me he had no fuckin’ clue what was going on with that Cromwell fucker. I actually believed him. Let him off because he had an airtight alibi…”
“Fuck,” Riel cursed. “This is the same kid that you had in the station the other day?”
Yao frowned, and I suddenly had a sinking sensation fill my stomach.
“Melly,” I said aloud.
Yao tilted his head in confusion
. “What?”
I swallowed hard, and Riel started to curse.
“I was filling her in yesterday on the investigation,” Riel said, sounding like he was berating himself. “There was a nurse that came in to use the restroom during my explanation. I figured since it was all public knowledge that it was okay to tell her. Hell, they’d even had it in the five o’clock news. I just assumed that Cromwell would already know… but the timing is circumspect. Melly, the woman he’s seeing, was the nurse to overhear. At least, I assume she overheard. Because that was last night, and suddenly this happens? The timing is too good for it not to be related.”
Yao looked thoughtful for a second.
“You’re right.” He paused. “But he could’ve just as easily gotten that information from the five o’clock news as he did from you. Both happened last night.” He paused. “I was already planning on stopping by to see Brent Cromwell anyway.”
Riel’s hand loosened on mine, but I no longer wanted to get him to let go.
Not when I now had someone almost murdered across the street from me possibly because Riel and I were talking about that person the night before during dinner.
“It does give me another person to question, though.” Yao’s eyes met mine. “What’s this Melly woman’s last name?”
I rattled it off without missing a beat.
“Thanks,” he said. “But no, I don’t think that anything you said or did led to this. The kid definitely had ties with the shit that Brent Cromwell is tied up in. I’m not sure to what extent, but I have a feeling it’s more than he let on because otherwise this wouldn’t have happened.”
I agreed.
I just wished I didn’t feel guilty for talking about it with freakin’ Melly around.
“Kid going to be okay?” Riel asked.
Yao nodded sharply. “Should be. The dad intercepted the shooter. Instead of finishing the job, he left before he could get caught. The dad made a choice to help the kid and not chase after the shooter. Saved the kid’s life, too.”
“For now,” Riel muttered darkly.
I agreed.
For now.
I also didn’t feel so safe in my safe neighborhood any longer.
“Gotta go,” Yao said. “If y’all hear anything else, let me know.” He paused and centered his gaze on me. “Don’t do anything stupid and raise any suspicion with Cromwell. Keep your nose clean, stay out of his business.”
Oh, I would be.
Not only was he my ticket to passing this year, but he was also my boss.
I wouldn’t be jeopardizing that for anything.
“Have a good one,” he said.
Riel finally led me back over to my place and followed me inside.
He looked around curiously as I ran to the bathroom.
When I got back, he was waiting by the door, looking confused.
“What?” I asked.
“I just… I feel like something should be there,” he said, tapping his head. “But it’s not. Like I should remember something, but there’s nothing to remember. It’s the worst feeling ever.”
I could imagine.
And suddenly, I didn’t want him to go.
I wanted to see him smile.
“Ready to go for that run?”
Chapter 8
I survived another meeting that should’ve been an email.
-Frankie’s secret thoughts
Frankie
“Riel, are you ever going to unpack?” I asked curiously, flipping open the first box that I found.
It was a box of clothes.
“I started to,” he admitted. “Got the first box unpacked, then felt like I was doing something wrong. Like I was unpacking somebody else’s things.”
I could understand that.
“So, I stopped unpacking,” he confessed. “I’ve been buying the things I need as I need them. I think, if in about six months I don’t unpack this shit, I’ll just donate it.”
I flipped open the next box that was open and came to a couple of picture frames.
The first picture frame had Malachi and his dog. I remembered when the picture was taken.
It’d been the day that Malachi had to drop off the dog to his parents for them to hold on to while he was out of the country.
“Hey,” I suddenly blurted out, remembering something. “Where is Maxie?”
There was a loud thump from the bedroom area, then a sigh.
“Maxie,” Riel said, coming out of the room. “Was apparently given away to an animal shelter when I was still missing at six months.”
I froze.
“You’re joking,” I said, sounding just as pissed as I felt.
He shook his head.
“I contacted them about the dog,” I said. “I didn’t remember the dog, but I knew that there was one just based on all the dog paraphernalia. I asked Gabe and Ember about it, and they told me about where I could find Maxie.”
The sheer audacity of his parents was overwhelming.
“Only, when you went looking, Maxie wasn’t there?” I asked, feeling the heartache pressing down on me again.
God, the man had suffered so much.
How much more could he take?
“I’ve been searching for the dog ever since,” he said. “But the animal shelter that found Maxie a home doesn’t really care about my plight. They feel sorry, but unfortunately, there is not a lot they can do since the dog was adopted into a loving home.”
I thought about that for a long second, then offered, “I could get a friend to help. She’s really good with computers.”
He looked up at me with a frown on his face.
“I…” He blew out a breath. “I can barely take care of myself. What if I find him?”
“What if you found him and wanted him?” I asked. “What if he would help you heal?”
He didn’t have anything to say to that, and I took it as a sign to mind my own business.
However, it was really bothering me, what his parents did.
Not only had they not come to see him after he was found alive, but now they’d gotten rid of his dog?
That was just the last straw.
I was going to have to find these people and give them a piece of my mind.
“Ready?” Riel asked.
I watched him come out of the room shirtless, and my breath hitched.
I’d seen him shirtless before, but that had been in a clinical setting.
That’d also been when I was very, very still firmly hooked up in the ‘this is my fiancée’s best friend’ category.
That line was blurring the longer and longer that Riel was a part of my life.
“Yes,” I nearly choked.
Riel’s eyes caught mine just before he pulled his shirt on over his head, the fabric breaking our eye contact.
And hey, at least when he caught me looking, I was staring at his eyes and not his abs.
Or other parts that I refused to admit that I was looking at.
Fifteen minutes later, we both arrived at the diner nearest the police station.
Riel was right.
We did end up eating outside, and I was thankful that I had shorts on at that point.
But it hadn’t been because we were sweaty that we’d found our way outside.
It’d been due in part to the fact that all the new members for the SWAT team were inside taking up every single available inch of space.
After placing our orders, we took the closest spot to the door and sat down.
Ember smiled at me the moment that I took my seat.
“How’s work?” she asked.
I rolled my shoulders.
“This is the first day off I’ve had in over nine days,” I told her. “I’m a quarter of the way through this school year, and I feel like I’m going to die.”
Ember laughed. “You’ve been going through school since you were a baby. Nothing has ever required you to
work this much before, though. I’d imagine it’s always going to be like this.”
I scrunched up my nose in disgust.
“Maybe,” I admitted. “But, just sayin’, when I get to looking for a job, it’s definitely not going to be with Kilgore Memorial.”
“Sam’s kids and wife work at Good Shepherd in Longview,” Gabe put in his two cents. “But, like everywhere, there are just as many difficulties there as there are anywhere,” he told me, his intense eyes, so much like his son’s, making my heart ache.
My eyes flicked from his to Riel’s and back, studying the two men since they were sitting right next to each other.
It was eerie how similar they were.
Then again, it’d always been eerie when Luca and Malachi had stood next to each other, too.
Despite one being Italian and the other being half-Brazilian, it was just stunning to see the similarities.
They say that everyone has a twin in the world.
Malachi and Luca had definitely been each other’s twin.
Hell, just looking between Riel and Gabe right now, if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve definitely said that they were related.
They even had the same cowlick going on at the top of their heads.
And their beards were similarly shaped as well.
Not to mention their lips.
“Are you planning to stay here, or go back to live near your dad?” Ember asked, taking a sip of her sweet tea and looking at me with what looked like hope in her eyes.
That was a question that I’d thought a lot about over the last couple of months.
Did I want to stay here, where my house was, where I’d wanted to make my home with Luca? Or did I want to go home where my parents were? Where my sisters were growing up without me?
“I have no reason to worry about that right now,” I admitted. “I’ve thought about it, but each time I think I need to make a decision, I realize that I have over a year left to figure it out and stop thinking about it.”
Ember giggled.
“That’s understandable,” she said. “Luca’s our thinker. Always had everything planned out from the moment that he could plan ahead. From what he would do after high school, to where he wanted to live once he was out of the Navy for real.”
There was an awkward silence at the table as everyone became lost in their own thoughts for a long few seconds.
If You Say So (KPD Motorcycle Patrol Book 6) Page 8
