“I’m not the only one playing games,” he answers.
“You surely aren’t. That’s why you need to tell Shelby what you want, so she knows how to respond to you. Right now, you’re both dancing to Cootie’s tune. Don’t you think it’s time you dance to your own?”
After several moments, my cousin says, “I love you too, Emmie. Thank you.”
“Sure thing,” I tell him. “But I can’t keep Mama busy for more than two hours, so make sure you’re out of there by then.” More than anything I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see how Beau and Shelby do with each other. But, I realize it’s none of my business. I just hope they can find their way and finally regain control of their relationship, whatever it is. Right now, though, I need to go face the music in the form of Mama and Auntie Lee. Saints preserve us, it could be a long night.
Chapter Forty-Seven
I get back to the table in time to hear Auntie Lee say, “Armand was like a son to us all.”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this has to end. I sit down clear my throat. “Zach, there’s something I need to tell you about Armand.”
Mama interrupts, “What Emmie’s trying to say is that while she’s grateful for the time she had with the dear boy, she’s ready to move on.” She pats my hand as if trying to console me.
“Mama,” I tell her. “That’s not what I’m trying to say, and you know it. What I’m trying to say is …”
“Are you ready to order?” our server interrupts me.
Zach looks at me expectantly, clearly interested in what I was going to share with him, but he addresses our server’s question first. “Mrs. Frothingham, do you know what you’d like?”
Mama opens her mouth to answer, but Auntie Lee beats her to it. “I’d like the petite filet with herb butter and asparagus, please.” After all, she’s a Mrs. Frothingham, too.
We all order after that, but our conversation never gets back on track. Instead, Zach tells us about the shed he’s building at the back of his property. “I wanted to have a place to start my seeds before transplanting them to the garden and the only places inside the house that get enough sunlight are living spaces, so I’m building a half-shed/half-greenhouse.”
“I’ve always wanted a greenhouse!” Auntie Lee claps her hands in approval. “But Jed’s always telling me that I don’t plant enough to make it worth his while to build me one.”
“Good thing I live next door, then. You’re welcome to use mine,” Zach tells her.
Auntie Lee beams like he’s just offered to loan her the Taj Mahal for a luncheon. I’m not sure Zach knows what he’s getting himself into, but I do know he’s ingratiating himself with my family like nobody’s business.
Auntie Lee says, “You’re too kind, Zach. I thank you and I’ll most certainly be availing myself of your generous offer.” Then she says to Mama, “Let’s go through the seed catalog later and pick out the flowers we want to grow next year.”
Mama replies, “Honey, if we let ourselves go wild, Zach might rescind his offer.”
Auntie Lee shoots him the side-eye. “I bet he won’t.”
As much as I don’t care about gardening, I’m happy the conversation isn’t all about Zach’s and my fledgling relationship. Over salads, Auntie Lee demands, “What do you think you’re up to, Emmie?”
“Pardon me?” I say.
“With Beau and Shelby,” she clarifies. “I thought you were on my side.”
“I’m on love’s side,” I tell her. “I think Beau is a big enough boy to make up his own mind, and if his mind is telling him that Shelby is the one, then that’s his choice.”
“Cootie!” Mama jumps like she’s just been shot by a taser gun or she’s suddenly developed Tourette’s or something.
“Cootie, nothing,” I tell her. “Shelby’s mama has nothing to do with this, it’s none of her business, just like it’s none of ours.”
Zach agrees, while still trying valiantly not to alienate Mama and Auntie Lee. “Shelby really is a nice girl. I’ve spent a lot of time with her in the last year. On her own, she’s quite lovely.”
Auntie Lee demands, “You sure you never had any interest in dating her for yourself? 'Cause let me tell you, son, I will not stand for you messing with Emmie’s heart. She’s been through enough.”
Zach shakes his head. “No, ma’am. I promise I’ve only ever been Shelby’s friend. As such, I offered to spend time with her to see if Beau would change his mind about being exclusive with her.”
“Cootie!” Mama nearly shouts again.
Auntie Lee looks at her and says, “Good lord, Gracie, are you stroking out on us or something?”
Mama shakes her head and points. “Over there. Cootie just walked in with Harold. They’re sitting on the other side of the deck.”
Auntie Lee wipes her mouth on her napkin. “Well, that was a lovely meal,” she says. “Why don’t you all head out to the car and Gracie and I will pick up the check?”
“Auntie Lee,” I tell her. “We haven’t eaten yet.”
Mama says, “I’m just stuffed. I’ll get doggy bags for our entrees.”
There’s no way we’re leaving here just because Cootie Wilcox has walked in. I’ve got Beau and Shelby back at Mama’s house, and they need some uninterrupted time. I need to think of something fast that will settle them back down.
Zach beats me to it. “When do you ladies think the best time is to get married in Missouri?”
All three of us nearly choke on our wine.
“Married?” Auntie Lee gasps. “Are you proposing to Emmie already?”
Now it’s Zach’s turn to lose his words. Clearly, this isn’t what he was alluding to with his question.
Mama intervenes, “Honey, you only just started dating and while Lee and I would love to plan a wedding, this does seem a little fast.”
Zach finally manages, “I didn’t mean for Emmie and me,” he says. Then he looks at me and smiles sweetly, “Of course that might be in the cards someday.” Glancing back at Mama, he says, “My cousin, Mandy, just got engaged.”
“Oh, that’s right, Sarah Jane did say something about that,” Mama replies, seemingly relieved and disappointed at the same time. “I guess I’d have to go with early June. You know, before it gets too hot and muggy but after all the rain. What do you think, Lee?”
Auntie Lee suddenly looks green. She stares across the room and says, “I think we either need to get out of here or prepare for battle. Cootie’s spotted us.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Cootie Wilcox struts across the deck like a general charging the enemy. I hope and pray that woman minds her tongue, or all my hard work to give Beau and Shelby a chance will be for naught. If Cootie alienates my family any more, Beau will wash his hands of Shelby entirely, no matter his true feelings.
I gulp my wine for some liquid fortification as Mama and Auntie Lee both prepare to pounce. Seriously, they’re sitting on the edge of their chairs with their shoulders back, their chins high, and wearing identical expressions of determination. They look like they’re about to burst into a synchronized swimming routine.
I try to diffuse whatever is about to occur as soon as Cootie is upon us. “Mrs. Wilcox, don’t you look nice tonight.”
She stares at me like she’s trying to telepathically dismember me. “Don’t try to sweeten me up, you little slut.” She says loud enough to attract the attention of several other nearby tables.
“Pardon me?” I ask.
Before she has a chance to answer, Zach stands up as though prepared to physically defend me, should Cootie try something. “Mrs. Wilcox,” he says in a quiet, but forceful tone, “I think you need to hold your tongue.”
“You!” she hisses. “How dare you be seen in public with this, this, tramp? You’re dating my daughter, and I will not allow you to shame her!”
“I’m not seeing your daughter, ma’am,” he says. “Shelby is my friend, but nothing more.”
“That’s not true,” she insists. “You an
d Shelby have been seeing each other for weeks. She says things are starting to get serious.”
He shakes his head. “Shelby is trying to make Beau jealous, and I’ve been helping her out. That’s all that’s been going on.”
Not knowing what to believe, Cootie declares, “Shelby and I decided that she’s too good for the likes of a Frothingham.” Then she trains her eyes back on me. “You’re nothing but a lying, scheming little whore.”
Mama and Auntie Lee are on their feet in a flash, ready to rumble. Mama says, “Cootie, I’ll give you to the count of three to walk out of here before I rip every hair off your stupid head. One,” she starts the count.
“Don’t you dare threaten me, Gracie Lynn Frothingham. You’re nothing but a piece of trash, just like your daughter!”
“TWO!” Mama yells while Auntie Lee starts flexing her fingers like she’s preparing them for combat.
Cootie shakes a fisted finger at Mama. “Reed only married you because he knocked you up.”
“That is not the truth and you know it, Cootie. Reed never looked twice at you because you were as big of a bitch back then as you are now,” Mama retaliates with stealth speed.
Auntie Lee decides to get in on the action. “Actually, you’re a bigger bitch now. Reed was never interested in you, Cootie, and you know it, he knew the kind of woman you’d become.”
“That’s not so,” she responds. “He and I had a lovely first date until this, this”—she gestures wildly at Mama—“piece of garbage showed up.”
“One date does not a relationship make, Cootie,” Auntie Lee tells her.
Cootie defends, “One date is enough when you’ve known each other your whole lives and your mamas have expectations.”
“Selia threatened to disinherit Reed if he ever saw you again,” Auntie Lee says.
“You’re making that up,” Cootie says. “Reed would have asked me out again, and mark my words, we would have gotten married, too.”
“Doc Chester’s nurse was a big gossip like you, Cootie,” Auntie Lee cuts her off.
Not taking her meaning, Cootie demands, “So what?”
“So, what about that time you came home from visiting colleges with your sister during your senior year of high school?”
Cootie’s eyes go as round as dinner plates. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“Wouldn’t I?” Auntie Lee asks.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like we’re on a dangerous precipice that there will be no coming back from if this conversation goes any farther. “Mrs. Wilcox,” I say, “why don’t we all just decide to call this one a draw and let it go? You go on back to your table and we’ll stay here and forget this bit of nastiness ever happened.”
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” she sneers.
As a matter of fact, I would, but she clearly doesn’t agree. “I think it would be for the best,” I say, thinking of Beau and Shelby.
“I bet you do. I bet you don’t want your boyfriend here,” she smacks Zach on the arm, hard, “to know about your fiancé, do you?”
“Zach knows all about him.” Well, not all about him, but he knows of him.
I swear if steam could really pour out of a person, Cootie would be dehydrated by now, like the dried-up old prune she really is. “Does he know that the army hasn’t any record of an Armand Hammer among its ranks in decades? Neither has the navy, air force, or marines.”
Before I have a chance to answer, Auntie Lee yells at the top of her lungs, “How’s your herpes doing, Cootie? Had any outbreaks lately?”
Oh. My. God. It’s on. I can’t bear to look at Zach to see how he’s reacting to this news about Armand. I don’t know where to look, actually. This is the biggest scene I’ve ever been party to, if you don’t count the night of the event and me hitting old Allison Conrad over the head when she stole my award out from under me.
Faye lets out a shriek but she’s not crying, she’s staring around at everyone like she wants in on the action. I hand her a teething biscuit to distract her before picking her up and walking out of the dining room.
Once I’m free of the restaurant’s four walls, Faye and I sit on a bench out front and take several breaths. Then I pull out my telephone. Things may have just ended with Zach before they’ve even started. He’s bound to think a lot less of me now that he knows the truth about Armand. But there’s something more immediate I need to take care of.
I dial Beau’s number, but he doesn’t answer. I have no idea what’s going on over there, but I need to warn him. When his voicemail picks up, I say, “It’s hit the fan with Cootie. I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but I’m pretty sure our families have made a future for you and Shelby impossible. I’m so sorry, Beau. I really tried to let this be your decision alone. Also, I don’t know how much longer I can keep Mama and Auntie Lee occupied, so you might want to skedaddle.”
As I walk back into Filene’s, Cootie nearly knocks me over on her way out. She stops long enough to spit, “This is not over, Emmeline Frothingham. You tell your mama and Auntie Lee that for me.” Then she pokes me in the chest for good measure. It’s all I can do not to break off her finger and shove it up her nose.
Suddenly, single motherhood in New York City looks like a picnic compared to coming home to the safety and security of my family. I cross the dining room with my eyes trained on Zach, trying to discern his expression. But for the life of me, I can’t determine what he’s thinking. One thing’s for certain, I’m about to find out.
Chapter Forty-Nine
As soon as I sit back down, Auntie Lee says, “That wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated.”
Mama agrees, “As far as scenes go, it could have been a lot worse.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, “you think that asking after Cootie’s VD in a crowded restaurant was a better result than you’d expected? How much worse could it have been?” I purposely don’t bring up her accusations regarding me and Armie.
“We could have mentioned Harold’s affair with the ladies’ tennis coach,” Auntie Lee replies.
“Or the time Cootie walked in on him with her hairdresser,” Mama adds.
I halfway feel sorry for Mrs. Wilcox due to her husband’s philandering, but not sorry enough to let her slander me or my family. I turn to Zach and say, “I guess you have some questions.”
He looks uncertain about how to proceed. He finally settles on, “You must have your reasons for making up a fiancé.”
“I do,” I tell him. “But you’re entitled to answers if you want them.”
“Do they change how you feel about me?” he asks.
“They don’t.”
“Well, then,” he says, “I don’t suppose I have any questions right now.” He looks pointedly at Mama and Auntie Lee as if to suggest he doesn’t want to carry on with this conversation in front of them, which leads me to believe we’ll be talking about it later. Damn. I wanted to tell him, but I hoped to do so on my terms and not because I was forced into it.
The rest of our meal is stilted at best. We spend an awful lot of time chewing our food amid an awkward silence. If Zach still wants to see me after tonight, I vow that we should avoid Filene’s like the plague. We do not do well here.
When it’s time to go, I reach for the check but Zach beats me to it. I say, “This one was on me, remember?”
He shakes his head. “No, ma’am, the pleasure is all mine.” He pulls a credit card out of his wallet. Neither Mama nor Auntie Lee even try to make a grab for the bill. Which honestly, is the least they could do after what just transpired here.
Mama says, “I have a pie at home. Why don’t we all go back to my place?” She adds, “Emmie, after we’re done, you can leave the baby with me and go off with Zach.” She winks as if a little romance might be in order. As if such a thing is likely after the night we’ve had.
There’s no reason to stay at the restaurant any longer. I’ve warned Beau, so he’ll know to expect us, if he checks his voicemail, that is. I just don�
��t have the energy to try to keep Mama and Auntie Lee away any longer. We’ve reached the point where whatever will be, will be.
In the car on the way home, I tell Zach, “Auntie Lee made up my fiancé because she didn’t think the gossips would treat me kindly if they knew the truth.”
“Which is?” he asks.
“I didn’t know Faye’s daddy. It was just one night. I chose to come home to avoid raising my baby on my own in New York.” It feels good to finally get that off my chest. Although, I’m not looking forward to the rest of the town finding out.
“You weren’t dating the guy or anything?”
“No,” I tell him. I feel shame course through me. This isn’t the way I was raised to behave, but still and all the same, the whole thing was consensual. It’s nobody’s concern who I have relations with or how well I know them, especially not someone I wasn’t even involved with at the time. After all, this is the age of Tinder where folks swipe right or left—I don’t know which—to hook up all the time. Just cause I’ve never done that before doesn’t mean half my generation doesn’t. I’m starting to get a little annoyed.
Zach must sense that because he says, “It’s none of my business who you were with before now. To be honest, I’m relieved that Armie wasn’t real.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because it means you’re not trying to get over a broken heart. Believe me, no man wants to be the rebound guy.”
“No woman, either,” I say. “You want to tell me about the gal who broke your heart?”
“I want there to be clear air between us, I’m just not ready quite yet,” he says.
I respect that. After all, I didn’t tell him about Armie until Cootie spewed her venom. I’m assuming that was the gossip she’d planned on announcing the night of the catfish fry. I shudder to think of the scene she would have caused at the club. Mama and Auntie Lee would have probably retaliated with everything they had on Cootie, and god knows where that would have led. Probably to a girl-on-girl fist fight that would have resulted in someone behind bars.
The Event Page 16
