I couldn’t do this with him. Maybe he was right, and I should have stayed home and rested, because I felt like my emotions were everywhere. Granted, I always felt like this whenever I was dealing with Ramsey, but this time I felt exhausted on top of confused.
I let out a deep breath. “Just leave me alone, Ramsey,” I spoke.
He sounded like he was on the edge, but not defeated. “That’s never going to happen, baby,” he whispered across my lips. “I’ll give you today, but tomorrow you’re mine and we will figure this shit out.”
Rage pushed back all other emotions. “What’s there to figure out?” I shouted. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Ramsey!” I shoved my way past him and headed to first period.
I knew it wasn’t going to make a difference since we shared the same first three periods, but I didn’t care. I had to show him that his word wasn’t law. He might be able to play with other people’s lives, but I wasn’t going to let him play with mine.
Either he wanted me, or he didn’t. It was that simple.
And that was heartbreaking because I knew I wanted him.
Despite all his cruelty, despite all his taunts and insults…despite it all, I wanted him.
I wanted him because his touch drowned out the insults. His kisses dissolved his cruelty. His intensity evaporated my doubts. The way he made my body feel, it made everything else fade away.
I imagined this was what it must have been like for my mother during the early years of her marriage to my father. My father would hit her and then bring her flowers, begging for forgiveness and worship her into forgiving him. Except, I wasn’t my mother, and Ramsey wasn’t my father.
We were much worse.
Chapter 21
Ramsey~
I had stayed away from Emerson all day yesterday, but Deke, Liam, and I had made sure one of us was always on her throughout the day.
Her accusation that Liam and I were just as bad a man who would resort to rape had gutted me. And I knew Liam hadn’t fared any better.
After she had left us standing in the hallway, I had called Deke and he had joined us in finishing off Jamie, Ricky, and Roman. We had driven them to the lake and had dragged them into the thickness of the surrounding trees. They had started to come to on the drive over, but we had made it to the lake before they had become aware enough to run.
Deke, Liam, and I had waited until they were fully alert and informed them of their fates. Jamie had done his best to explain that it had all been one, huge misunderstanding, but Liam had gotten there in time to hear Jamie tell Emerson that they were going to fuck her until there was nothing left of her to fuck. And that didn’t sound like a misunderstanding to me.
By the time I was done with Jamie, Liam was done with Roman, and Deke was done with Ricky, all three guys were a bloody, broken, paralyzed mess. The beatings were so brutal, they’d be spending the rest of their lives sucking their food through a straw.
As we dropped off each piece of shit at home, I calmly explained to whichever adult answered the door-whether it was a parent or housekeeper-what had happened and what would happen should anyone feel the need to call the police on Deke, Liam or me.
I had gone home feeling confident that the situation was handled, and Emerson was safe.
When I saw her striding across the lawn at school the next day, I was floored by her resilience. It made me question what she’s been through even more to know that she could endure attempted rape and still show up to school the next day.
My fit against the wall had the entire student body speculating on what was going on, but unless Emerson said something, they’d have to keep speculating because Liam, Deke, and I weren’t talking. I did send out the word that Emerson was officially mine and that if anyone so much as mispronounced her name, it’d be the last thing they ever did. Needless to say, everyone was confused by my inability to make up my mind, but I didn’t care. As long as they towed the line, it’d be okay.
And, now, I was breaking into Emerson’s aunt’s house…well, not really breaking in. When Bailey had tried to corner me yesterday asking what was going on with Emerson, she inadvertently let me know that she would be visiting her mother this weekend in the Hamptons and that Emerson would be home alone until Sunday night. The stupid bitch also joked that Emerson didn’t know the key code to the alarm, thus how I was able to be in her house now.
It wasn’t even 9:00 am yet, but I figured I had a better chance of catching Emerson at home if it was fairly early. I had no idea what she did on the weekends, so I didn’t want to miss her.
I headed up the stairs, figuring her room must be on the second floor somewhere, and it wasn’t until I tried the third door on the right of the hallway that I saw Emerson on her bed still sleeping.
I quietly made my way into her bedroom, and like a certified creeper, I walked over to her bed and stood over her just watching her inhale and exhale at complete peace.
Christ on The Cross, she was fucking beautiful.
I stared down at her for a few minutes before I decided to take my life in my own hands. I moved to the other side of the bed and began undressing. I stopped at my boxer briefs, but mostly because I imagined she’d be waking up in full ass kicking mode and I didn’t want to engage in combat with her while my junk was free and hanging all out.
I opted for climbing into bed with her quickly rather than slow and stealthily. I didn’t want to take the risk that she’d wake up before I had a chance to get comfortable. So, like a complete lunatic, I pulled back the light blue comforter and matching sheet and slid into bed beside her.
Emerson startled awake as my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back towards my body. “Jesus Christ! What the fuck, Ramsey?”
“Shh, baby, go back to sleep,” I chuckled as I nuzzled the back of her neck with my face. I knew I should be scared for my life, right now, but the fact that she automatically knew it was me in bed with her had me smiling like a fucking loon.
Emerson squirmed for a good couple of minutes more, but the more she tried to squirm out of my hold, the tighter I held her.
She finally gave up on a deep sigh. “What are you doing here, Ramsey? And what fucking time is it?”
I snuggled her body closer to mine as I answered, “It’s a little past 8:30, baby.”
She let out a deep groan, but she stopped pulling away from me, so I was considering this a win. “What the fuck, Ramsey? Why are you breaking into my house and waking me up so early in the morning for?”
“I broke in because I didn’t think you’d willingly let me in, and I hadn’t planned on waking you up. I was hoping to crawl in behind you without waking you,” I answered honestly.
Emerson got comfortable, and I wanted to pump my fucking fist in the air. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have let you in. But you’re completely touched in the head if you thought you could climb into my bed without waking me, Ramsey,” she smarted. “Considering how I’ve never slept with a guy in my bed before, I would have noticed no matter how ninja-like you thought your moves were.”
My heart warmed at her comment about never having slept with a guy in her bed before. “Are you going to kick me out of your bed?”
I could hear her sigh, and she kept me waiting for a few seconds before she quietly whispered, “No, I’m not.”
Three little words.
Three little words never had such an impact on me before. It gave me hope that she would give me a chance to make everything right with her.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to the back of her neck before settling myself against her delicate, feminine body. Emerson felt like Heaven in my arms and I never wanted to leave this spot.
We laid quiet for a while, reveling in the peace and comfort of being the only two people who existed for right now. I could hear her steady breathing and the steady rhythm put me at ease. This felt real, and it felt right.
Now that I was done being confused, done feeling threatened by this little sprite in my arms, I could see
clearly what all the fuss has been about. It took almost losing her to see what’s been in front of my face for weeks.
I loved this girl.
It had to be love. There was no other explanation.
When I compared this girl, who I’ve only known for a matter of weeks, to Deke and Liam, it was no contest. I’d choose her. And since I loved Deke and Liam like they were forged from my own flesh and blood that had to mean that whatever I felt for Emerson was stronger than love.
I could fucking feel her for Christ’s sake.
There was also the fact that I wanted to undo every selfish, cruel thing I’ve ever directed at her. I’ve never been sorry for anything I’ve ever done. My actions were always justified. But when I think of how Jamie, Roman, and Ricky had their hands on her and saw what her body looked like, there wasn’t enough soap on the planet to cleanse my soul of that regret.
I loved this girl.
Without a doubt.
Granted, she currently hated my guts, to which I didn’t blame her, but that wasn’t going to deter me. Now that I could identify my feelings with absolute certainty and I knew what I wanted, Emerson was going to be mine.
No matter what.
“Baby?” I whispered, just in case she was sleeping.
She didn’t seem awake, but she didn’t seem completely asleep either. “Hmm?”
My heart felt like it was going to beat itself right out of my chest. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation that caused me so much anxiety. Emerson’s attack yesterday is probably the closest I’ve ever come to shock and panic.
I’ve always been in control because I’ve always managed to control everything around me. Being able to control people went a long way to being able to control any situation and its outcome.
However, I’ve never been in control of Emerson. Not since the moment I first laid eyes on her. She’s actually been the one with all the power and strength.
And I was about to give her more.
“I love you, Emerson,” I whispered in her ear.
Her entire body froze in my arms, and I knew this was going to be bad.
Chapter 22
Emerson~
Oh, no, this motherfucker didn’t!
Who does he think he is???
You can’t just go around telling people who hate you that you love them. There were rules to fighting with the enemy, and love was so not in the rule book.
“Pardon?” Yeah. Pardon. I went with ‘pardon’ because I had nothing else.
I could feel the asshole chuckling behind me, and I wanted to elbow him right in the mouth. “I said that I love you,” he repeated, his voice firm and confident.
Now, I could do one of three things right now.
I could roll over and tell him I loved him too.
I could bash him in the head with my nightstand lamp and kick him the hell out of my house.
Or I could get up, go take a shower, and buy myself some time to figure out how his words were making me feel.
Well, I for sure wasn’t going to roll over and profess my love. I had morning breath, and that just wasn’t going to happen.
I glanced at my lamp and realized that the little guy was quite innocent in all this and didn’t deserve to be a casualty of war.
So, looks like the winner was the shower and some time.
I threw the covers back and fought to get out of his hold. “What are you doing?”
I didn’t think he’d let me go take a shower, so I went with a guarantee. “I need to go pee, unless you’re into that kind of thing,” I answered sarcastically, hoping to mask my nervousness.
“I am not,” he confirmed as he removed his arm from around my waist.
I didn’t waste any time. I jumped out of bed and practically ran to the en suite. I didn’t have time to be embarrassed that I was only in a tank top and panties. Besides, he saw a lot more Thursday after that bullshit with Jamie Turner.
I brushed my teeth, removed my clothes, and then stepped into the shower. I turned the water as hot as I could stand it. I needed the heat to ease the tension in my muscles. Ramsey had me wound tighter than a top.
I guess what I needed to do was take the emotion out of it and look at him logically.
He was a dick.
He was abusive.
He was arrogant.
He was stubborn.
He was a bully.
He was rich-and yes, that’s a negative when you use your wealth for evil.
He’s done his best to embarrass and humiliate me.
He’s been cruel and manipulative.
Ramsey Reed was an asshole. An. Absolute. Asshole.
The answer was easy.
Run.
Run and don’t look back.
And then I closed my eyes under the scalding hot water and my chest felt like it was caving in at the thought of never being near Ramsey again.
He was just the kind of bad idea my twisted mind and neglected body craved.
And he just told me that he loved me.
I spewed out a bitter laugh. The fact that I would even be needy enough to believe him was reason enough to lock me up in a crazy house.
I knew…I knew he was just playing with me by telling me that. It was another one of his games. But, Jesus Christ, if he didn’t make my body sing and all common sense flee.
And it didn’t matter how long I hid myself in this shower. I wasn’t going to unravel everything complicated about my association with Ramsey in a short 15-minute shower. So, instead of dwelling on it, I washed my hair and conducted an actual shower.
When I finished, I shut off the water, wrapped my hair in a towel turban style, grabbed the robe hanging on the back of the door, and stepped out to face the music.
Ramsey was lying on the bed with his muscular, defined arms crossed over behind his head. He looked relaxed and as if he belonged there.
He cocked his head and smirked at me. “Have a nice shower?”
I stopped walking until I was at the edge of the bed looking down at him. “How can you say that?”
His right brow arched. “Ask if you had a nice shower?”
This motherfucker.
“I swear to God, Ramsey, I have no qualms about bashing your head in,” I barked out frustrated. “You know damn well what I’m talking about.”
Ramsey’s face transformed from mocking to tender and it made me want to bash his head in even more. It was in these moments when he wasn’t being a total prick that I wanted to fall into him.
He sat up and flung his leg over the edge of the bed. I was suddenly standing in between his opened legs and his hands were on my hips. I had to swallow as I looked down at his near nakedness.
Ramsey Reed was built like a fucking god.
I knew from the very first night I had met him that he was all hard planes and definition, but the tattoo blending over his right shoulder, bicep and pec made him that much hotter, in my opinion. Even though Ramsey was sitting down, he was so much taller than me that his face reached my neck, and he was looking up at me with eyes so full of warmth, I could feel myself falling. And that scar down his face…Jesus.
“I can say it because it’s true, Emerson,” he said seriously.
I shook my head at him. “How can you be in love with me, Ramsey? You’ve spent the entire handful of weeks you’ve known me hating me and treating me like shit,” I pointed out.
Ramsey didn’t get cocky or arrogant. His expression remained earnest as he said, “I never hated you, Emerson. I hated how out of control you made…make me feel.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Now that I know what this is, I can control how I proceed.”
“It’s that simple for you?” I asked, because I had to know. This thing with Ramsey felt anything but simple.
“Yes. It is.” His hands tightened on my hips. “Nothing like what happened Thursday will ever happen to you again, Emerson.”
My fists clenched at my sides. “So, what? Are you trying to absolve your guilt?” I was so pissed I
had fallen for his sweet words. I stepped out of his hold and turned my back on him, ready to show him the door. “You’re such a fucking dick.”
He had his hand on my arm and my body turned towards him before I could make it to the door. “Goddamn it, that’s not what this is about, Emerson!”
I glared up at him. “Then, what is this?” I snapped. “What the fuck are you doing, Ramsey? What do you want from me?” I felt like he was driving me crazy with his shit. “What in the hell is this?”
He didn’t answer not one question. Instead, he slammed his lips down on mine in a kiss I felt down to my toes. His hands wove their way up my face and into my hair until my towel toppled off my head and onto the floor. My hair was damp, but Ramsey didn’t seem to mind. His hold tightened as he deepened the kiss.
And what did I do? I opened up for him.
My lips parted on a surprised gasp, but I didn’t shut them. No. My hands climbed up his chest and circled around his neck as I sank into his kiss. Ramsey tasted like mint and future regret.
But I didn’t care.
I was tired of fighting him. I was tired of denying what he made me feel.
I. Was. Just. Tired.
A low, rough growl emitted from his throat and I could feel the vibrations from it on my tongue. Ramsey’s hands untangled themselves from my hair and worked their way down my body to untie my robe. I was naked underneath, but I didn’t give it much thought. I was too caught up in his kiss to care.
Besides, I knew where this was going, and I was okay with my decision.
Suddenly, Ramsey pulled back. His hands were still on the sash of the robe, but he had not tried to untie it. He was looking down at me, and I could only describe his expression as desperate. “Do you love me?” he asked, shocking the holy fuck out of me.
I blinked up at him and I wasn’t sure what to say. Did I love him? I didn’t know.
His chest was heaving, and he looked at his wit’s end. “How would you feel if you never saw me again?”
The thought of never seeing Ramsey again was crippling. For whatever reason, for whatever plan that was set for my life, I saw Ramsey as a part of it. Did I love him? Maybe I did. Maybe that’s what this crazy pull was. It could only be love, right? Or insanity-which I wasn’t ruling out completely.
The Enemy Series Page 11
