I texted her back privately, not because I cared if the others knew I was pissed, but because, again, I was trying to be a good goddamn boyfriend.
R U flying back w G?
Her reply had me back to losing my mind.
Not sure. I didn’t ask
That wasn’t going to work for me.
ASK!
Her reply came quickly, and she was lucky she was clear across the country.
Cap me again n I’ll shut off my phone!
Shut off ur phone and I’ll b on a muthrfckn plane n the morning!
I swear I could hear her sigh in her response.
Liam…
Roz…
Fine. I’ll let u know as soon as I get settled
I love you
Screw you
Seriously, what else did I expect?
Chapter 21
Roselyn~
Belle Isle reeked of class and money. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t for me.
After arriving at the airport, I had really expected my mother to be waiting in arrivals, but she hadn’t been. I had received a text that their driver would be picking me up. I had been greatly disappointed, and it had been my first taste of what it must be like to have grown up in Sands Cove.
I had done my best not to fall victim to my hurt feelings because, despite the driver situation, I knew my mom wasn’t like that. I knew she missed me and wanted to see me. I let the assumption reside in my head that, after a few years of living your life in a manner where everything is catered to you, you’re bound to start feeling like it was normal. I knew my mom didn’t mean anything by not picking me up, but that one small action was enough to tell me that she’s adjusted to the life she lives now.
The ride had been too long, yet too short. I needed time to gear myself up for the visit, but I really missed my mom and wanted to see her. It was the main reason I agreed to fly out this morning. Once Brandon joined us tomorrow, we were going to spend the weekend pretending we were one big happy family and, while I was prepared to do that, I really wanted some alone time with my mom. That’s what today gave me; it gave me some real authentic time with her.
When the driver pulled up to their house, I shook my head at their ‘modest momentary housing’. It was a mansion by anyone’s standards, and it was beautiful. There was even a fountain in the center of the circular driveway, that’s now ‘modest’ it was.
As soon as the car stopped in front of the steps of the house, I had my door open and got out. I walked around towards the back and the driver gave me a look suggesting I didn’t know my place. He had looked at me that same way when we fought for my bag at the airport. I insisted I could carry it on my own, since, you know, I carried it on the plane, but he insisted I should do no such thing. Right now was more of the same. I stood by the trunk of the car, suggesting I would carry my bag into the house, and he stood by it, suggesting I wouldn’t.
Goddamn rich people.
Before we could get into another tug-of-war with my one freakin’ bag, I heard a door open, and when I turned around, my mother was flying down the stairs.
She threw her arms around me as soon as she could reach me. “Oh, Rose,” she gushed. “Oh, honey, I missed you so much!”
I wrapped my arms around her waist, and I knew just how she felt. “Oh, Mom,” I cried into her neck, “I missed you too.”
She pulled back and her face was all tears and happiness. “Oh, honey,” she went on, “a parent shouldn’t be away from their child for so long.”
I didn’t want her to feel guilty about her happiness, so I said, “Nonsense. If you were home, you still wouldn’t ever see me.” I laughed. “I’m too busy being a teenage girl with my friends.”
Her smile widened, and I knew that did the trick. “True,” she agreed. “And, perhaps, your boyfriend?”
I smiled. “Why don’t we go inside, Mom,” I suggested. “I’ll tell you all about my friends and boyfriend in there.”
She yelped like a teenage girl with the juiciest of gossip. She looked over at her driver. “Stanley, Roselyn will be staying in the green room,” she told him.
“Of course, Madam,” he replied. “I’ll take her bag right away.”
“Mom, I can take my own bag-”
She waved away my words. “Oh, nonsense, Rose,” she interrupted. “That’s his job, honey. Let him just do his job.” I wanted to argue that serving me shouldn’t be anyone’s job, but I just kept my mouth shut and let my mom lead us into the house.
Once we got inside, I saw that the house matched the outside. It was opulence to the ceiling, maybe the sky. I was freakin’ afraid to touch anything, that’s how fancy their rental home was.
“Jesus, Mom,” I mumbled.
She glanced around and smiled. “I know, right?” she chuckled. “Oh, how the other half live, Roselyn.”
I side-eyed her. “Aren’t you the other half, now?”
Mom gave me a wistful grin. “I’m still a secretary who’s still trying to anchor her feet to this rich, fancy ground, Rose.”
I turned to face my mom. “But you’re happy, right?”
We stood in the archway between the foyer and one of the living rooms as my mom answered, “Oh, Roselyn, honey, I’ve never been happier.” I could see the truth behind her eyes. “Joseph is so good to me and I know that-I feel that when he tells me he loves me, he means it.”
I stared at my mom, her face matching mine, her blue eyes the same shade as mine, and if my hair wasn’t dyed a million different colors, we’d have the same matching blonde hair. I stared at this lovely person and I knew there was no way I could tell her about Brandon.
I knew it was the irresponsible thing to do. I knew that if I didn’t tell her or Joseph, I’d be letting Brandon walk out into the world, free to hurt someone else should he ever feel slighted by them. Brandon would be in college looking the other way or participating, or whatever, because I didn’t speak up to stop him. And all because my mother’s happiness meant more to me than a nameless, faceless, possible victim.
I was also taking away her right to protect me. I was taking away her choice in all this. By keeping her in the dark, I was preventing her from doing what mothers do.
Protect their young.
I let her lead me into the living room and I saw that there was already a tray of sandwiches and drinks on a serving tray. “Are you hungry?” she asked as she sat on the couch.
“Starving,” I admitted as I sat next to her.
“How’s Emerson doing?” she asked first, and I loved her a little more for it. She knew Emerson’s story of how she came to Sands Cove, but that’s all.
“She’s doing well,” I replied. “That boyfriend of hers really loves her and looks out for her.”
Mom grinned. “Sooooo, speaking of boyfriends…”
I reached for a sandwich square and stuffed my face before answering her. “His name is Liam,” I finally said. “Liam McCellan.”
Her brows furrowed. “Isn’t that one of Emerson’s friends,” she said, recalling the few times I’ve mentioned everyone.
“He’s one of her boyfriend’s best friends, actually,” I clarified.
“Is that how you guys met?” she asked before eating a sandwich square herself.
I nodded. “Well, I knew who he was my first year at Windsor, but we didn’t become…friends until last year or so, and now, well, now we’re dating.”
She took a drink of her tea and I did the same. “Is he a good boy like Emerson’s boyfriend?”
I should have waited to take a drink of my tea. I almost choked at her description of Ramsey Reed. Ramsey, Liam, and Deke could never be described as good boys.
“He’s good to me,” I replied, rather than tell her the blatant truth. The truth that those three ‘boys’ were more lethal than grown men twice their ages.
She leaned forward and patted my knee. “Then that’s all that matters, Rose,” she advised. “As long as he treats you with respect and shows you how much he l
oves you, that’s all that matters. Does he, Rose? Does he look at you like you’re the only girl on the planet?”
Honestly, I didn’t know how Liam looked at me. I never really paid attention. The past couple of weeks it was either with lust or uncontrollable rage. But I knew what she meant. You see that ‘look’ anytime Emerson’s around Ramsey. He looked at her like it would tear him to pieces if he blinked and missed something she did. Like if he missed a laugh or a smile, his whole world would dim in existence. I didn’t know if Liam ever looked at me like that, but I hoped he did.
“He’s good to me, Mom,” I repeated. “I’m…I’m happy.”
She smiled at me. “That’s all we really want, after all, isn’t it? To be happy?” she replied. “To find that one person who sees how imperfect we are but wants us despite all our mistakes and imperfections.”
“Is that how Joseph makes you feel?” I asked. “Perfectly imperfect?”
My mom’s smile grew. “That’s a lovely way to phrase it, Roselyn. And, yes, Joseph is that for me. He found me at my lowest and still thought I was beautiful. I was surrounded in despair and loneliness and he saw beyond that. He saw me.”
I listened to my mother talk about her husband, and while it seemed as if Joseph sucked as a father, he was excelling as a husband. There was no way I could take that smile away from my mother. As much as my conscience was struggling with what was morally right and my mother’s happiness, I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth.
Maybe I just needed to talk to Emerson and let her know I was keeping the power of our friendship in my back pocket for a rainy day.
Chapter 22
Liam~
The weekend was pure fucking hell, and I was standing in the airport, pissed as fuck about it.
Roselyn texted throughout the day and she called me Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, but it still hadn’t been good enough to appease me.
Intellectually, I knew she was safe. I knew Brandon wouldn’t do anything to her with her mother and his father so close, but that didn’t calm that need in me. You know the one? The one that makes me a man. That need at the heart of all men.
The need to protect what’s fucking yours.
I stood outside her arrival gate debating whether to kiss the shit out of her when I see her or kill her and put us both out of our miseries. I hadn’t decided when I spotted Roselyn walking my way, looking tired and…tired. So tired, she hadn’t even noticed me yet. It wasn’t until I was practically upon her that she finally looked up and her eyes blinked with surprise.
I reached for her bag. “Roz.”
She let out a deep sigh. “Liam.”
Hauling her bag over my shoulder, I reached for her hand. Roselyn’s fingers automatically intertwined with mine and I could admit I felt an immense satisfaction in that.
We got to my car, and I opened the door for her, waited until she got situated, shut the door, and made my way to the driver’s side. I tossed her bag in the back seat, started the car, and I got us out of the airport parking lot. I managed to wait all the way until we were on the freeway before losing my shit.
“What the fuck, Roselyn?” My eyes shot sideways.
She leaned her head against the window glass. “Can you just not, right now? It’s been a long flight.”
“Too fucking bad,” I snapped. “Did you really think you were going to be able to take off without telling me first and get away with it?”
“Apparently not,” she muttered.
“Goddamn it, Roselyn! I’m fucking serious!” And I was. Only I didn’t realize just how pissed off I was until I saw her walking towards me. I also couldn’t pinpoint exactly why I was so pissed either. I mean, sure, I was pissed off that she left without telling me. I was pissed off that she had to spend the weekend with Brandon. I was pissed that I went three fucking days without her.
But it was more than that.
It was feeling like…like…Roselyn had put my life on hold while she was away. Like I’ve been standing stuck in one place and I couldn’t move until she returned.
And I didn’t like it one motherfucking bit.
I was looking at the road, trying not to kill us, but I could see her turn her head out of my peripheral. “I’m not going to apologize for going to see my mom, Liam,” she said. “And you’re not my husband. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
I almost killed us right then and there.
I swerved to catch an exit that wasn’t ours and pulled into the first available parking lot. I threw the car in park and turned on Roselyn. “Do you want to repeat that?” I said, my voice low and damn near murderous.
Her big blue eyes were wide and her face full of shock. “Holy shit! Are you out of your mind?! You could have killed us!” she yelled.
“Do. You. Want. To. Repeat. That?” I repeated through clenched teeth.
“I’m not going to apologiz-”
I shook my head, one hand white-knuckled on the steering wheel, the other gripping the leather of the back of my seat. “The part about where I’m not your husband,” I clarified.
Roselyn reared back in surprised. “Are you serious?” Then she shook herself out of her stupor. “But you’re not, Liam,” she tried to reason. “What the hell?”
“Is that what it’ll take to get you to fucking listen?”
Her eyes narrowed. “You are insane,” she stated. “You must be.”
She might have been right.
She might have been right because I was feeling crazed.
I was feeling like her casual comment about not being her husband was the answer to driving out the madness she brought out in me. Like, maybe, if I married this girl, I could find myself on firm ground again. Like I had some motherfucking control back.
Roselyn shook her head. “I’m not marrying you, Liam,” she said, as if she could see inside my head.
“And why the fuck not?” said the crazy part of my mind.
“Are you high?” she asked incredulously. “Did you actually get high before coming to pick me up?”
I turned from her, leaned back in the seat, and ran my hands up my face and through my hair. Roselyn wasn’t half as combative as Emerson was. I wondered how Ramsey did it.
“I’m not fucking high,” I bit out.
“You must be,” she argued. “You have got to be high to be talking about marriage when we just started dating last week!”
I yelled at the roof of the car. “We started dating last year!”
Silence followed my outburst, and I was, honestly, at a loss. I was quickly learning that the hardest thing a person will do in their lifetime is try to make another person understand just how much they loved them. Roselyn thought I was crazy because I wanted to start our forever now. I thought she was crazy because she didn’t want to. If she could see inside my soul, she’d know she had nothing to be afraid of. If she could see inside my heart, she’d lose all doubts about us.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it?
She couldn’t see inside my soul. She couldn’t see her name on my heartbeat.
Motherfucker.
I took a death breath and looked over at her. She had her head leaning back, looking up at the roof of the car. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Roz,” I told her. “I’m going to take you home, let you unpack, take a shower, or do whatever the fuck it is you need to do to unwind. Then I’m going to fuck you until that smart-ass mouth of yours is caught up in too much pleasure to argue with me.” Roselyn shook her head, but I saw it.
I saw the corner of her lip twitch in a smile she was trying to not let take life. “Fine, Liam,” she conceded, “but can you not kill us on the way there?”
“I’ll do my best,” I deadpanned.
I got us out of the parking lot and back onto the freeway. I called on my newly acquired boyfriend skills and asked, “How was your visit with your mom?”
Roselyn let out a low chuckle, and I hoped she was giving credit for trying through her laughter. “She told me to
find a boy who looks at me like Ramsey looks at Emerson,” she said drolly. “I told her not to worry about it. I told her I was happy.”
What the fuck did that mean?
“And how does he look at her?” I asked, because the only look I ever see in Ramsey’s eyes when he’s looking at Emerson is that of a psychopath. And I knew for a fact that Roselyn didn’t want to date a psychopath.
Roselyn looked over at me, and as much as I wanted to give her my undivided attention, I did promise to try and not to kill us on the freeway, so I kept my eyes forward. “He looks at her like no one else exists,” she replied. “Like he can’t see past her to notice that other humans walk the planet.”
I didn’t comment. Deke’s words started replaying inside my head. The day we ditched school when he tried to explain how Roz spent all her time with a girl whose boyfriend worshipped the ground she walked on. How he tried to explain how that’s all any girl really wanted.
The problem was, I didn’t know how to be that guy. I wasn’t overly romantic, and I didn’t see what Roselyn saw when she looked at Ramsey and Emerson. I saw Ramsey being Ramsey. But then I wasn’t a teenage girl looking for signs of love all over the place, either.
I gripped the steering wheel and insecurity reared its ugly head. “Well, we’re not Ramsey and Emerson,” I said. “And if you’re going to constantly going to measure what we have against what they have, let me know now, so I can be prepared to be miserable the rest of our fucking lives. Or, better yet, if you’re looking to be loved the way Ramsey loves Emerson, then maybe you should try dating Ramsey.”
She gasped at the coldness of my words. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped.
“Then quit wishing to be people we’re not,” I snapped back. “I haven’t seen you in days and the conversation you want to have is how we don’t have the kind of love you want.”
“I never said that!” she argued.
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. “Yes, you did!” I yelled. “You said it when you didn’t tell your mother that you did have a boyfriend who looked at you like you needed him to.”
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