I needed his strength.
Chapter 27
Deke~
I knew Delaney had gone to Reynolds’ house, and it had taken everything in me to let her-to trust her. Now, it wasn’t that I didn’t trust Delaney, per se. It’s just I’ve never been in love before and it’s a fucked-up feeling, if I was being honest.
It’s the lack of control I was struggling with, and with eyes finally wide open, I was understanding Ramsey and Liam more, and more now. I used to think they were unhinged with the way they stressed out whenever the girls weren’t around, but I got it now.
Boy, did I fucking get it.
The rest of the school day had gone fine, and by the time the end of the day rolled around, it was all over the school that Delaney Martin was my girlfriend. Mine. There was no more confusion or love triangle with Reynolds. So when Delaney told me she was going to his house after school so they could talk, a part of me knew it was the right thing to do, but the rest of me wanted to conk her on the head and never let her leave my cave.
Finishing up in the gym, I heard the doorbell ring, and I prayed it was Delaney. I’d been working out for two hours trying to occupy my time, so I didn’t storm over to Reynolds’ place and drag her home, and I was barely hanging on.
Wearing only my basketball shorts, I opened the door to a forlorn-looking Delaney. “Hey, baby,” I said, stepping back and letting her in, noticing she didn’t have an overnight bag.
Fuck.
“Hey,” she returned walking towards the living room and sitting down.
I sat down on the coffee table across from her. “I take it things didn’t go well?” I prompted.
Delaney shrugged a shoulder. “It’s not that it went…bad,” she hedged. “It was just a bit, sort of…uncomfortable.”
Oh, I bet it was. “Did he get pissed?” Any excuse. Any excuse to fuck him up again.
Her beautiful face looked absolutely miserable. “He got…resentful,” she muttered.
Resentful?
I was going to fuck him up.
“Meaning?” I said, prompting her to say more.
“Ugh,” she groaned, and threw her head back rather dramatically. When her eyes met mine again, she said, “He basically said that we don’t have to decide anything for another four years, and…”
I couldn’t stop my hands from clenching into matching fists. “And, what?”
Her eyes narrowed as she regarded me. “Promise you won’t go off half-cocked?”
Wow.
That was encouraging.
“Delaney…” I growled.
“Promise me, Deke,” she ordered, rather sternly.
“Do not confuse my love for you for a weak spine, Delaney,” I advised. “You will not lead me around by my dick just because I love you, understand that.”
She looked taken aback by my comments. “Are you for real?” she screeched. “You are equating me asking you not to get upset to leading you around by your dick? That’s absurd, Deke!”
My problem was that I was new to this. I was feeling weak, unsure, and irritated primarily because, while I’ve already told Delaney how I feel, she’s yet to tell me. I could have pushed it at school, but I didn’t want to. I needed Delaney willingly goddamn it, and the wait was killing me.
“What the fuck did Reynolds say?” I demanded.
Delaney stood up and started pacing the room. “Unbelievable,” she muttered to herself.
“Delaney, if you don’t want me going over there and beating it out of him, tell me!” I thundered.
She whirled around on me pissed. “He said he’ll be waiting when you get tired of me!” she yelled back. “Are you happy?!”
The rage I was feeling was real. “And when you told him I wouldn’t because I was in love with you?”
Her anger dissipated instantly. Her shoulders drooped and her eyes averted mine. “Uhm…”
I had her arms in my hands and her back up against the wall before she could utter another word. “So help me God, Delaney, you better have told him we’re in love and that’s why you’re putting an end to that ridiculous agreement,” I seethed, pissed beyond what I ever thought I could be.
She looked up at me and mumbled, “It seemed…that’s private.”
Private my motherfucking ass.
“You didn’t tell him because you believe him, don’t you?” I snarled. “You think I’m going to drop you and I’m just bullshitting you, don’t you? You’re embarrassed to tell him I love you because you think it makes you look stupid.”
Her eyes started to shine. “Deke…” she mouthed. When she said I’d better love her, she wasn’t being cute or flirty; she meant that shit.
My hands tightened around her arms, sure to leave bruises, and I shook her enough to get her undivided attention. “I need you to pay attention, Delaney,” I spat. “I need you to pay really good attention, right now. I love you. I fucking love you. I’ve never said those words to another girl in all my motherfucking life.” Her eyes widened, and her face looked stunned. “And, while it would be nice, I don’t frankly give a fuck if you love me back or not, because you’re mine, regardless.” I pushed up her against the wall one more time to emphasize my point. “I’m never going to let you leave me, Lamb. Ever.”
Her eyes blinked one time.
One. Time.
One time before her hands were attacking the waistband of my shorts. “Delaney, bab-”
“Shut up,” she snapped as she pushed my shorts down.
“I’m all sweaty, baby,” I pointed out at the same time I was releasing my hold on her. In the time it took for her to kick off her sandals, unbutton her jeans, push them down along with her panties, and jump into my arms, my dick was rock hard and ready.
With her arms wrapped around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist, she panted, “I don’t care, Deke. Fuck me, please.”
And, so, I did.
I plowed my cock deep into her pussy with one thrust. She screamed, and I groaned, it felt so good.
She felt so good.
But I was done waiting. I drove into her so hard, her back was slamming into the wall behind her. “Tell me,” I demanded. “Fucking tell me before I lose my fucking mind, Lamb.”
“Harder, Deke,” she begged. “Fuck me harder.”
Christ. “That’s not what I’m asking, and you fucking know it,” I barked.
Delaney started bouncing up and down on my cock, trying to impale herself when she finally said it. “I love you, Deke,” she panted. “I…I love you, even if I shouldn’t.”
I let that last part slide because she finally told me what I wanted to hear, and the rest didn’t matter. My insecurities, her insecurities-they didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was that Delaney was mine. I was going to spend every night inside her body, one way or another, and no one would ever be able to take her from me.
“Tell me how badly you want my cock, baby?” I grunted. “Tell me how you’re mine.”
Delaney was withering and moaning. “I can’t…think, Deke…”
Music to my ears.
I kept slamming into her, our harsh breathing the only sounds in the house, and I didn’t want it to ever end. Her pussy wrapped around my dick was a high more pure than anything out there. Delaney Martin was more potent than any drug I have ever tried.
“Don’t stop, Deke,” she whimpered. “I’m…I’m going to cum…”
My dick throbbed with my need for release as I slammed Delaney harder against the wall. “That’s it, baby,” I encouraged her. “Give it to me. Soak my dick with your cream, Lamb.”
Delaney threw her head back and cried out as her pussy gripped my dick in a choke hold and started convulsing all around me. “Deke!”
I followed immediately after. “Delaney…” I hissed into her neck right before biting down. My previous mark had started to fade, and I didn’t like it.
After a few exhausting seconds, we both slid to the floor, where she draped her body over mine, straddl
ing my now soft cock. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered.
My hands rested on her hips as I stared at the ceiling. “I’m not going to drop you, Delaney,” I said, hoping she’d believe me, eventually.
She let out a deep breath before saying, “Even if you do, Deke, I’m past…whatever I wanted in life before you. Winston and our parents are just going to have to accept that.”
I didn’t comment, but I knew we were going to have to have a serious talk about what it meant to be in a relationship with me before I strangled her to death.
Chapter 28
Delaney~
Deke spent the rest of the night using my body and professing his undying love for me.
Okay.
Maybe not quite like that, but I’m guessing the constant ‘you’re mine’s were relative to the same thing as professing one’s undying love.
I did learn, however, that what we did Friday night was nothing compared to how we spent last night. It was almost as if, now that I wasn’t a virgin any longer, Deke didn’t have to hold back.
I also learned just how dark Deke’s desires could scale. He liked rough sex, and he liked dirty sex and, after last night, a blushing wallflower I no longer was.
Deke liked control, and not just your average everyday role identifications as me being the woman and him being the man. No. Deke liked sinister control. The kind of control where you had to trust the person entirely; where you had to trust that it was still consensual sex.
Deke had spent all night holding me down and making me take whatever he had to give me, and it had taken some serious getting used to. He also liked to talk dirty, and the language coming from his lips had been another acclimation I had to get used to.
But after every time he held me close and just…held me.
It was as if letting him to whatever he wanted to my body was some sort of validation or something. Like…he was trying to scare me off, but it wasn’t working, so he felt…better. I don’t know. It’s weird to experience, much less try to explain.
He had also made it clear that I needed to start bringing a change of clothes to his house because I was going to need it. I think he was half-ass moving me into his house with him. But, until then, I was back at my house getting ready for school.
I had time for a bite to eat before school, but my phone rang as I dropped two slices of bread into the toaster. It’s weird, the house staff did their thing during school hours, so I rarely saw them, but I always had pre-made dinners in the fridge to eat. Breakfast wasn’t included, so toast it was. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I saw it was my mother, and I couldn’t stop the groan even if I had wanted to.
“Good Morning, Mother,” I answered.
“Delaney Martin,” she snapped, and I already knew, “what is this nonsense I’m hearing from the Reynolds that you’ve…you’ve terminated the agreement between our families?”
Jesus. This really was a business transaction.
“I was going to call-”
“Delaney, what are you thinking?” she asked, not caring about interrupting me.
“Mom-”
“I mean…this…this is our future,” she sputtered.
“Our future?”
“I meant yours, of course,” she bit back, correcting her slip of the tongue.
Little did she know, that gave me the perfect opening. “And as it’s my future, I decided I want something different, Mom,” I replied. “I’m not happy with the idea of marrying Winston just to secure a solid financial foundation for you and the Reynolds. I want to be happy.”
“Nonsense, Delaney,” she clipped. “You’ll be perfectly happy with Winston-”
I let out a sigh. “No, I won’t, Mother,” I said, this time cutting her off. “I met a guy and-”
She scoffed. “Delaney, please. I’ve heard all about the boy you’re throwing Winston over for. The Reynolds told me everything.”
“You got an opinion about a guy from the people who stand to lose just as much as you do, and you believe them? Seriously?”
“What about Blaineview?” she asked, ignoring my question. “You know they’ll take you on because of your grades and being our only child. You’re not throwing that away, also, are you?”
I had never wanted to go to Blaineview. I wanted to go to Dartmouth. I wanted to go to an East Coast school to get as far away from my stifling future as I could. My parents thought I needed to go to college with Winston. It was assumed he’d attend Blaineview like a majority of Windsor graduates, but he’s mentioned over the years wanting to explore his options.
“We’ve talked about this, Mom. I want to go to Dartmouth,” I reminded her.
“And we talked about how it’s more beneficial to follow Winston,” she reminded me.
“But Winton’s a nonfactor now, Mother,” I volleyed back.
She was silent for a while and that meant Mrs. Shirley Martin was reassessing her approach. My mother might seem like a vapid socialite, but she was more cunning than people gave her credit for. The scar on my face is proof enough of that.
“How about we make you a deal, Delaney,” she posed. “We’ll set up a tour at Dartmouth this weekend for you, but you have to…consider Winston a bit more.”
“Mom-”
“Hear me out, Delaney,” she implored. “Four years is a long time, don’t you agree?”
I glanced at my watch that showed four minutes was a long time. “Yes,” I agreed, nevertheless.
“High school romances have a tendency to fizzle out, and…and I’m not saying that in an unsupportive way.” I almost snorted. “I’m saying that as a matter of fact, Delaney.”
The jacked-up part?
She wasn’t lying.
It was very rare for high school sweethearts to make it through the grownup stages in life together. People grow up and change. What you want at thirty is a far cry from what you wanted at sixteen. There were no guarantees, and even if Deke and I gave it our all, we could still eventually drift apart later down the line.
Four years was a long time, and anything could happen. Hell, I had been using that same argument every time I defended my arrangement to Ava. I lost count of how many times I’ve said Winston could end up meeting someone in college and falling in true love. If I went to Dartmouth and Deke went to Blaineview, the same thing could happen to either one of us. I mean, hell…how many times has a person thought themselves in love only to find real true love later in life and realized every relationship beforehand hadn’t compared?
I knew I was in love with Deke, but just like he said his love for me didn’t make him weak, I couldn’t let my love for him make me stupid.
So, I agreed.
I agreed that I shouldn’t be so closed minded to all of life’s possibility for something so brand new and unchartered.
“Okay, Mom,” I conceded. “I won’t…take Winston off the table completely, just yet, but you have to promise to give Deke a chance. Even if…things don’t work out with me and Deke, he still deserves a fair chance. It’s not his fault I’ve changed my mind.”
“Why…why don’t we concentrate on college right now, since that’s the next step your life, and we’ll deal with everything else as it comes?” she suggested.
I wanted to argue and…make her acknowledge my relationship with Deke, but I knew I had a better chance of making her see things my way face to face. I should probably be grateful that she bothered to call and discuss this, at all. Her or my father could have easily cut off all my finances and gone the bullying and intimidation route.
“Sounds good, Mom,” I lied. “I’ll…I’ll talk to you later.”
“Of course, dear,” she replied smoothly. “I’ll set up your tour and email you all the information later today.”
“Okay,” I muttered. “I need to go, Mom. I’m going to be late for school.”
The smile in her voice told me she thought she won this round, and I suppose she did. “Oh, certainly, honey. Talk to you later.”
“Bye,
Mom.” I hung up not waiting for her to say bye back, and I felt absolute retched.
I felt…the entire conversation felt like…betrayal of some sort. Even though I knew I was done with Winston, just agreeing with my mother made me feel…underhanded.
The toast had popped up out of the toaster long ago and was already cold, so I threw the two slices in the trash and hoped Ava had her ever stash of granola bars in her bag. The crazy girl said she always had granola bars because you never knew if kidnappers were lurking about or not, and you needed food to survive after escaping their sex trafficking ring. I gave her the kidnapping, because…well, we were the children of the One-Percent, but sex trafficking? Kidnapping for ransom was more likely.
With my sore body exiting my house and getting into my car, I wondered what I was going to tell Deke. I’ve never had to answer to anyone before or take someone else into consideration when I went somewhere or did something, so it felt weird.
But…Deke couldn’t get upset with a college tour, right?
I mean…right?
Chapter 29
Deke~
I let Delaney go on that stupid weekend tour to Dartmouth because I was in love with her, and I was quickly realizing that love equated to stupidity on a grand fucking scale.
She had sounded so excited when she told me Tuesday that her parents had set up a tour for her at Dartmouth, I hadn’t had the heart to tell her she was already enrolled in Blaineview, and she’d be going to school with us. I had also made a mental note to find out what Ava’s college plans were. If we could get her to go to Blaineview with us, I knew Delaney would feel much better about going.
Another reason I let her go was because she said her parents were meeting her at Dartmouth and she wanted to use this opportunity to talk to them face to face about our relationship. She had told me all about the conversation she had with her mother Tuesday morning, and her mother sounded like a real piece of manipulative work.
The fucked-up thing was that I didn’t care if Delaney’s parents liked me or not. Their opinions had no impact on Delaney’s future with me. I just wanted her universally happy, if possible. I knew it was going to be a hard sell because any parents willing to physically harm their child for the sake of money had to be evil. I had no doubt they would fight tooth and nail to convince her to still marry Reynolds, but it wasn’t going to happen. I just had to stay back until she called on me to help.
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