“Someone set off a bomb downstairs. These are the tapes of the front door cameras. I’m looking for anything suspicious,” he told her at last. He snapped the TV back on and started the DVD player again. He turned in the bed so he could see, settling back against the raised head of the bed and settling her against his chest, mindful of her wound. She eagerly curled up against him and he was overwhelmed with the sensation that it felt very right to hold her like this. It was enough to make him uneasy, but he pushed down the cowardly feelings. He had to face what he was feeling—whether he was used to it or not, whether it made him uncomfortable or not.
They watched the film of the security camera in silence for long minutes before she said, “That bomb could have been planted anytime. Days ago.”
“True. But something tells me it wasn’t. It feels like a response to my escape.”
“Then that would mean it had to be planted during the hour it took for us to get here. Or shortly after our arrival.”
“I know. That’s why I’m starting out by limiting my search to those times. Look. See? That’s us.”
He pointed at the screen where there was a clear image of them arriving. He was covered in blood and she was shivering with pain. If Felice hadn’t known otherwise, she would have looked on them suspiciously, just like anyone else would.
“Well, it’s obvious you aren’t carrying a bomb,” she said.
“There’s a lot of pockets in those cargo pants,” he said with a shrug. “I would suspect me.”
“But it’s not you. I can vouch for that.”
“I know it’s not me,” he said with an exasperated eye roll. “We’re looking for someone who could pass for clean but really be on the other side. It takes a lot of effort to keep calm while walking around with a bomb on your person. Bombs are tricky. They can go off at the darnedest times. That’s why I’m going to go check the injured list and compare it to those who entered the building during the time allotted. Just in case the bomber got caught by his own bomb. But first, I want to memorize every face that came in. I want to see who was carrying anything that could conceal a bomb. Roth has some kind of twisted plan in his head. I need to figure out what it is. I’ve been thinking myself in circles for hours now. I gotta tell you, it’s starting to wear me out.”
“You need to rest,” she said softly, covering his hand where it held the remote and clicking off the DVD player. “I don’t think you’ve slept once in the days since our capture. I’m willing to bet not. You’re not the type to fall asleep when your life is in danger, unlike me.”
“Don’t be hard on yourself,” he said. “You aren’t wired to be on your guard all the time. I am. Hardwired. I live my life constantly on edge. I can deal with it better because of it. And I did sleep. They forced me to sleep, remember?”
“A gas-induced sleep. It’s not the same as actually resting. Close your eyes for a few minutes.”
“I can’t. I fed not too long ago. I’m still up from it. Think of it like drinking five shots of espresso and then trying to go to sleep,” he explained to her when she furrowed her brow in confusion.
Her confusion cleared. “Oh! I get it,” she said. “So…you got rid of all my bad energy?”
“Yes. I did,” he said.
“Good. I don’t want you to become a sycophant. I was so worried I would poison you.”
“You could never poison me,” he said as he soothed her. “You may have been dirty from drugs, but Roth miscalculated. You lead such a clean life, one shot of heroin isn’t enough to turn me.”
“Is that true?” she asked.
It wasn’t entirely the truth, but he hated seeing her think badly of herself. Even if her poisoning had been out of her hands, she clearly still felt responsible for it and for its effect on him. If he had turned, she would never have been able to forgive herself.
“True enough. I’m clean now, aren’t I? I didn’t turn.”
“I suppose,” she said softly, looking away from him. He caught her chin in his hand and turned her face back to him, meeting her eyes firmly. “It’s over now. There’s no need for guilt or bad feelings. We won; Roth lost. It’s over.”
“You know full well it isn’t over,” she said bitterly. “Until we know why Roth wanted me specifically, we’ll never be sure he won’t come after me again. You can’t protect me all of the time in perpetuity.”
“I don’t plan on it,” he said. At her startled, wounded expression he sighed and explained. “I’m going to hunt down and kill the bastard. That’ll end the threat.”
“Again, same logic applies. Unless we know why he wanted me, who’s to say another sycophant won’t just pick up where he left off?”
“This is specific to Roth. I can feel it. Something about you is chapping his ass. No one else will care what happens to you. I’m sure of it.”
“You can’t be sure of it.”
“I have great instincts. You have to trust me. Besides, I’ll find out what it is before I kill him.”
“What if he doesn’t tell you?”
“I can be very persuasive,” he assured her.
“You mean you’ll torture it out of him,” Felice said with a little sigh.
“Hey, don’t judge me. I’m doing it for you.”
“I’m not judging! In fact, I want to be there for it!”
“No,” he said, shaking his head adamantly. “No way. Not gonna happen.”
“Why not?” she bit out. “I think I deserve it after what he did to me!”
He softened his aspect, reaching to stroke tender fingers across her forehead and down the side of her face.
“You’ve earned the right,” he agreed, “but your gentle soul wouldn’t be able to handle the reality of it. It would plague your mind for a very long time. You would feel guilt, even in spite of what he has done to you,” he added quickly to cover a protest. He pressed gentle kisses against her forehead, her temple, and the rise of her cheek. “Don’t let him dirty you up any more than he already did. Stay clean,” he whispered against her ear. “Stay clean for me.”
She looked down and away from him and he heard her clear her throat. He turned her face back up to look at him and saw the tears that had built up in her eyes. It killed him to see them. He’d always seen tears as a weakness. What made him see them otherwise in that moment? What made him want to protect her and chase her tears away with assurances and affection? It was such a queer impulse. So unlike him.
But then, so much had been so unlike him for a while now. He wanted to examine it, but at the same time he balked at the introspection. A part of him didn’t want to know the reason for these aberrations. He didn’t know why. And he didn’t know if he wanted to find out.
Then she reached out and touched him, her fingers stroking simply along his forearm where it had come to rest over her belly. She blinked and two fat tears skipped down her cheeks. He felt a knot form in his throat. He felt anger and outrage toward Roth for hurting her. For still hurting her even though she was at present safe from him.
“Don’t worry. For right now you are safe and you will remain so. I will see to it,” he said.
“But if someone can get in this building to plant a bomb, then someone can get to me.”
“That isn’t likely to happen while the place is crawling with police.”
“I wouldn’t put anything past Roth.”
Neither would he.
“You’ll have to trust me. I won’t leave your side.”
“That’s too boring a task for a man of action like yourself.”
It made him wonder that she knew him so well. But then again, she didn’t know him as well as she thought.
“There is plenty to do from here. I will continue to review the tape. I will pull a pool of suspects. Then I will interview them personally.”
“Here?” she asked with amusement. “In this room?”
“Well, no. But in this building. Mere floors away. I will leave you but not for long. And when I do leave you I will post
someone to guard you.”
“That isn’t nec—”
“It absolutely is necessary,” he argued sternly. “Let me do this for you.”
She was quiet a moment but then finally nodded her head. She tipped up her chin and reached to press her mouth against his. He let her kiss him, surprised at how famished he was for the taste of her. It was another extreme emotion in a sea of uncomfortable and unfamiliar reactions. It was starting to wear thin, all these mental gymnastics.
“Let’s review the tape again,” she suggested softly.
Chapter 16
Felice woke the next day with a gasp. She had been having a nightmare…a nightmare of being trapped in a room, this time without Halo. And she knew it was because he was dead. It was the only way he would let her be captured again. As she pounded at the walls of her cage she heard Roth laughing at her.
“Easy,” a deep, soothing voice said from beside her bed.
She looked at the stranger and gasped again. She pulled her blanket up protectively against her chest, as if it were some kind of magical barrier before realizing how ridiculous the reaction was.
“Easy,” the black man said again. “I’m Danton. Halo left me to watch over you.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
Danton smiled. “I suppose you don’t, unless you trust that Halo would not let anyone he thought might hurt you close to you.”
“I didn’t think Halo trusted anyone at all.”
“Believe me, it came as a surprise to me as well. He respects my ability to hunt and keep order.”
“So you’re a hunter?”
“I was during my earlier years. Now I am the head authoritarian.”
“Authoritarian. I’ve heard that term before.”
“We are what you would call the vampire police force. We see that the law is followed and punish transgressors.”
“And what kind of punishment do you dole out?”
“Sanctions sometimes. Perhaps warnings at first. But our laws are very strict and very straightforward. Those breaking them can expect capital punishment.”
“Y-you mean…death? For breaking a law?”
Felice was appalled and knew it came through in her voice.
“They are very serious laws. For instance, we are never to harm or kill a human. Don’t you agree that is a law that when broken deserves punishment?”
“Well…I suppose…but…”
“Believe me, we do not pass judgment lightly. Each case is held as unique.”
“And any hint of sycophanthropy is punished by death?”
“With very few exceptions.”
“Is Halo an exception?” she asked, her hand clenching tightly at the end of her good arm, worry and fear overwhelming her.
“You really must relax and rest,” he encouraged her warmly. “You need to heal.”
“How can I relax when you might kill the man who saved my life?” she asked bitterly.
“He has already been judged and excused. There is a sanction—he must not poison himself ever again. It will be looked on as a pattern leading to sycophanthropy. But I assure you, he is safe.”
She took little comfort in hearing it from a stranger. She wanted to hear and see Halo. She wanted to know he was all right. She didn’t trust anyone else. She realized she wouldn’t for a very long time.
“I can see I’ve upset you.” Danton pulled out a phone and, activating voice commands. he said, “Call Halo.”
He put the phone on speaker and she anxiously listened to it ring.
“What’s wrong?” Halo asked by way of greeting. She was so relieved to hear his voice that she sobbed out a breath. “Is she all right?” he demanded harshly.
“I…I’m fine.” Felice spoke up shakily. “Where are you?”
“I’m on my way to you now. You sound upset.”
“Danton was telling me about your sanctioning.”
“Damn it, Danton, I told you not to upset her with trivial bullshit!”
“It isn’t trivial!” she cried out, talking over Danton’s attempt to respond. “They could have killed you!”
“For fuck’s sake, Danton. Why’d you have to tell her that?”
“She asked—”
“Don’t you yell at him! I asked him. And you should have told me yourself.”
“I would have. Listen, I just don’t want you to worry. I have everything under control. All you need to worry about is getting better.”
“Halo…”
“Look, I’ll be there in ten minutes. You can yell at me then.”
“All right. Hurry.”
“I will.”
Danton hung up and she looked at him apologetically.
“I’m sorry if I got you in trouble.”
“Halo doesn’t frighten me. I wouldn’t want to be on the opposite end of one of his hunts, but he doesn’t frighten me otherwise.”
“Still, you were only trying to help.”
“I don’t believe in keeping people in the dark unless it serves the vampire nation. You will no longer be in the dark. You will know about vampires for the rest of your life. It is a tremendous burden for a human, keeping such a secret.”
“You mean…they’re going to let me keep my memories?” she asked breathlessly.
“The way I see it, there is little choice. Using hypno on you…by the time you’re healed enough and clear of Halo’s perceived danger, it would leave too massive a gap in your memory. It wouldn’t be fair to you to destroy what might be months of your life. Of course you’ll have to face the committee. They have the final say. They might be more callous in their estimation than I am.”
“This committee…when do I face them?”
“Probably when you are healed enough and out of danger. Only then can they make a judgment on how much time has passed versus using hypno on you.”
“How can I convince them not to take my memories?”
She had to know. She didn’t want to forget about Halo. True, he wouldn’t be in her life for very long, but she still didn’t want to forget him. She wanted to be able to savor memories of their time together, even if that did come with remembering the most harrowing times of her life.
“Just be honest and sincere. Give them a good reason to trust you. Offer them something of value about yourself.”
“But I don’t have anything of value to a vampire.”
“Don’t be so quick to say that. You can offer yourself up as a lure to get Roth. Roth is a dangerous man. A threat to all the vampires hold dear. If you can offer us a solution it would be deemed very valuable.”
“I still don’t know why he wanted me. It might be that that desire is at an end. It might have just been random.”
“Halo doesn’t believe that. And I trust his instincts.”
“Halo wouldn’t like me offering myself up as bait,” she said, gnawing on her bottom lip a moment.
“Halo isn’t in charge of your life.”
True, but he was her guide to all things vampire. If he thought there was something to worry about, if he deemed she was in too much danger, who was she to argue?
Then again he had become overbearingly protective of her. Part of her took comfort in knowing she was safe thanks to him, but part of her felt she needed the freedom to move and breathe. She could tell she was going to have to fight for every inch of personal freedom she desired. At least as far as being in the vampire world was concerned.
She wondered about Halo. She wondered why he was being so caring and considerate. She couldn’t figure him out. She had thought him shallow and one-dimensional at first; now she saw the true depths to him. She saw he cared about the world far more than he liked for others to see. She saw he was far more noble than he liked to present himself as. She saw a capacity to feel guilt and responsibility. Now she saw all of that, along with his ability to care. And more.
“You don’t have to stay,” she told Danton.
“You’re kidding, right?” he said with a chuc
kle. “He’ll kill me if I leave you before he gets here.”
“Do I really need protecting with all of the vampires in New York surrounding me?” she asked, indicating the floors above and below with a sweep of her good arm.
“After that bomb? I would say so.”
She bit at her lip a moment more.
“How does he know you are any more trustworthy than the next guy?” she asked him.
Danton chuckled again. “He doesn’t, I guess. But he should. I’ve never hurt a soul that didn’t deserve it.”
“You carry out the punishment as dictated by vampire law, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And that law is absolute even though there are sometimes exceptions and explanations.”
“We are not blind to exceptions. That’s why we have a committee. Halo faced that committee and was excused. Our system of laws works. As does our system of punishment.”
“Halo also thought he’d face censure for telling me about vampires in the first place even though it wasn’t his fault. Roth had done the damage first.”
“That was taken into consideration as well. We are hoping you will lead us to Roth. When you sit before the committee, remember that. Remember the value you have.”
“I have value outside of that,” she said with a proud lift of her chin.
“Not in a way that is appealing to the vampire world. But as I said, you have time in your favor. Using hypno on such a large block of time is nearly impossible. It is also unhealthy for you. It is also suspicious. For you to turn up without the memory of a month or more of time and with an injury that has been treated with surgery, that is unacceptable and unethical. You just have to convince them you know how to keep a secret of this magnitude. Don’t worry. I can sense that you can. They will as well.”
“I hope you are right.”
“I am.”
“Tell me more about this bomb. How are you going to figure out who is responsible when there are humans walking all over the place getting in the way?”
“We have our ways. We will know everything the humans know just as they learn it.”
“You mean you can spy on them?”
“Yes.”
“How do you do that?”
Hunger Page 21
