When she was done, she clicked the stop button on the little machine and slowly, carefully, placed it on the desk in front of her. She scanned her desk, desperately searching for something else to occupy her, to keep her busy a smidgen longer.
There was nothing.
Drats!
With no more excuses, she would finally have to face the music. Somehow, some way, she needed to brave out this confrontation without too much damage to her reputation. Schooling an expression of feigned indifference, ignoring the skittering rush of nerves, Kelli turned to face the door.
Chapter 2
‘You’re a doctor?’
As Travis stood in the doorway of the consulting room, his eyes stuck like glue to the woman behind the desk, he watched her hand tighten around the arm of her chair, her fingers gripping it tight.
Ah, hell! That came out wrong.
He’d been practising it as he watched her dictate the letter, trying to figure out the best opening line, and he’d screwed it up, turning the statement into a question of her abilities.
‘I am,’ the gorgeous doctor before him inclined her head in the barest of nods, the faintest hint of ice in her voice.
‘And you knew what you were doing.’
Maybe he could salvage this somehow.
‘I did.’ Again she nodded before continuing. ‘But you thought you knew better.’
‘Yeah, I have a bit of a habit of that,’ Travis laughed softly, trying hard not to stare but failing miserably. He couldn’t believe she was actually here, in his hospital.
‘And how’s that working out for you?’
‘Not the best, to be honest,’ he replied lightly, though the truth of that statement was anything but light. If only he could kick the habit.
‘And you’re here because…’ She left the sentence hanging, her eyes on him and he fought the slight blush trying to work its way up his skin. They both knew why he was here. Just as he knew he shouldn’t be.
And yet he couldn’t seem to pull himself away. Instead, he pushed up off the doorjamb and slipped into the room.
‘Do I need a reason?’ he asked as he perched on the corner of the desk. He was so close to her he could feel her warmth, drawing him in like a beacon.
‘They’re always handy,’ she answered, her voice calm, her words controlled. But there, at the base of her throat, her pulse fluttered away, frantically beating.
‘What if I just came by on impulse? No thought, no reason, just…pure…impulse…’ He stretched the words out, leaning forward, shrinking the distance between them. The pulse at her throat beat harder, faster, if that was possible.
Hmm…it looked like the Ice Queen routine was just an act.
‘I’d tell you to go.’ Her voice was all soft and breathy and he didn’t believe it for a minute.
‘Really?’ He arched an eyebrow, and inched closer.
Her lips parted ever so slightly, her tongue darting out to moisten them, and he almost groaned at the sight.
Whoa!
What the hell was he doing? She was a colleague. Hadn’t he learnt anything from the fiasco with Ashlee?
He reeled himself back in, physically and mentally putting some distance between them.
‘Lucky I’m not planning to stay, then.’
‘No?’
He swore she sounded disappointed. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. Wishful thinking he had to clamp down on. She was a colleague. She was off-limits.
‘I just wanted to stop by and welcome the newest addition to the team,’ he assured her and this time his smile was friendly and innuendo-free. ‘Travis Reed, at your service,’ he held out his hand in greeting.
‘Kelli Maloney,’ she answered, though she ignored his hand, eyeing it off like it was plague-ridden.
‘Nice to meet you—officially,’ he smiled again, returning the ignored hand to the pocket of his pants. It was easier this time to avoid the charm, to pretend she was just like everyone else in this hospital. Piece of cake.
‘You too,’ she answered, finally relaxing in his presence enough to return the smile. Her lips stretched wide, revealing bright, white, perfect teeth. Her eyes glowed, her face transformed.
Fuck!
She was gorgeous.
He needed to get out of here. Fast!
‘If you have any questions…or need a hand with anything…’
Stop it, Travis! Get out!
But still he lingered. He didn’t want to leave.
‘Because you don’t think I can do my job?’ she demanded fiercely, the smile disappearing in an instant. ‘I’ll have you know, I’m—’
‘Hey, wait up,’ he held up a hand to halt the tirade. ‘I didn’t mean that—’
‘But I thought after the beach, and mistaking you for unconscious and -’
‘And you were just concerned, and I should have said thank you.’
‘Really?’ Her eyes were wary, but she was no longer scowling at him.
‘Really. So I’ll say it now.’ His lips quirked into a winning smile to rival his sister’s. ‘Thank you for trying to save my life.’
Her eyes widened slightly, the pulse at her neck kicking into overdrive and his body responded in kind. He looked into her guileless green eyes, and felt something deep in his gut go twang.
Of its own volition, his hand moved forward, and he brushed her hair back, his fingers lingering on a curl.
‘What is it?’ she whispered, barely breathing.
He could kiss her now. He wanted to kiss her, to press his lips against her plump pink ones. She wouldn’t protest. She wanted it as much as he did, just as she had yesterday, down at the beach.
But he couldn’t. Not here.
Because beyond the sound of his rasping breath and hers, he could hear other noises— the sound of Jan’s practical tones as she spoke to a patient on the phone; the click-clack of someone typing on a keyboard; the friendly banter as the respiratory technicians headed to lunch. And he remembered where they were. He remembered who they were.
He dropped the curl as if it was a hot potato, and stood up, moving away from the desk, away from her. He needed to put distance between them. His ability to think, to reason, seemed to disappear when he was close to her.
Once he was near the door he felt safe again. He could breathe. He could think. He tried the friendly, innuendo-free smile again, and finally turned back to her. ‘Your hair has a little blood in it.’
‘What?!’ she gasped, her hand automatically reaching for the curl he’d dropped.
‘Probably from your earlier patient, the one who hit her head.’
‘Brianna,’ she whispered, her fingers still searching for the blood.
‘It’s not a huge amount, but you might want to rinse it out.’
‘Yes. I will. Thanks,’ and the grin she sent him was filled with relief.
He was prepared this time. He steeled his gut against the gasp and answered her grin with a friendly one of his own.
And this time, it was almost genuine.
‘Check this out!’
‘What is it?’ Kelli glanced away from the computer screen, her eyes taking a moment to focus on Sammy’s round, excited face rather than the seemingly endless stream of EEG lines of the study she was reporting on.
‘The MSLT today. It’s your girl, Brianna. I’ve put her down for the second nap. And look, she’s almost asleep! She struggled to stay awake during the biocals. And she’s already had a REM onset in her first nap.’
Kelli scooted her seat over next to the excited scientist.
‘What was her sleep onset in the first nap?’ Kelli’s eyes were trained on the rhythmic alpha rhythm scrolling across the screen.
Sammy looked down at the notes in front of her before answering. ‘One and a half minutes.’
As Kelli watched, the alpha waves dropped out of the EEG, the much slower, mixed frequency waves indicating the woman was now asleep. ‘Looks like the same again. How much sleep did she have last night
?’
‘Nine hours. Her RDI was 3.5, her arousal index 12,’ Sammy read the results from the report she had compiled already. The figures were well within the range of normal sleep parameters. Nothing in the report could justify Brianna’s excessive daytime sleepiness levels, which in itself supported the narcolepsy diagnosis.
‘And look at this,’ Sammy continued, clicking on a PSG study minimised at the bottom of the screen.
Kelli scanned the hypnogram summary of Brianna’s overnight PSG. She’d had a very early REM onset. The signs were definitely pointing towards a narcolepsy diagnosis. All that was needed was for a second REM onset in one of the next four naps, and consistently short sleep latency. Taking control of the mouse, Kelli closed last night’s study and focused on the live streaming.
Eyes trained on the screen, she waited for the tell-tale drop in EMG amplitude, and the wide, pen-deflection of the eye leads that signalled the onset of REM. Although the young woman was given fifteen minutes in which to nap and to potentially drift in to REM sleep, Kelli suspected she would be a lot faster.
Her suspicions were confirmed a moment later when the fuzzy line representing the muscle tone in Brianna’s chin dropped down to a very thin, straight line, indicative of the sleep paralysis common to REM sleep. Seconds later the EOG traces flicked sharp, wide strokes in opposite directions, a clear representation of the rapid eye movements the sleep stage was named for.
‘Damn and blast!’ Kelli cursed, struggling to withhold her disappointment.
‘What’s wrong?’
Kelli almost jumped out of her seat at the sound of the husky voice so close to her ear. She half spun her chair round and found herself confronted by Travis, leaning down, his head centimetres from hers.
He was so close she could see the individual hair follicles starting to push through his skin, the beginnings of a very early five o’clock shadow. Or maybe he’d decided to grow a beard. But she doubted it, because the scent of his aftershave, fresh and masculine, was wafting over her, playing havoc with her thought processes.
Right, the aftershave was making it hard to think. Even her sub-conscious didn’t believe that one.
At least he hadn’t reported her lapse in judgement on the beach to Dr Carsen. Travis’ thanks for trying to save his life had seemed genuine, and she’d actually been able to relax on that front, secure in the knowledge she wouldn’t be fired for the out-of-work misdiagnosis. But his sweet charm on the matter had done nothing to stem the tide of her attraction to him.
Almost three days of working with him, and she was still as skittish as a horse in a bushfire. Would it ever change?
He was still looking at her, a question in his eyes, and she remembered he’d asked her something.
Focus, Kelli, focus.
‘Oh, nothing big, just had a narcolepsy diagnosis confirmed, so I get to condemn a young woman to a lifetime of stimulants and continual license monitoring.’
‘Not good. Is that the girl from Monday?’
‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘At least she’ll have the answers she was looking for.’
‘And the treatment. Continual stimulant use might not be ideal, but at least she’ll be able to live a fairly normal life now.’
‘True. She won’t be fired, either.’
‘See, something good came from this,’ he grinned and her heart skipped a beat. But that was silly, because there was nothing special for her in his smile. Even now, his eyes were drifting from hers to Sammy’s beside her, including them both in the good cheer. She could almost feel the other woman perk up, practically preening for his attention.
Ugh, it was enough to make her sick.
‘Will you be here much longer?’
‘Me?’ Kelli queried, surprised. Maybe he did like her. Maybe he was about to ask her to lunch, or drag her into a nearby supply closet and have his wicked way with her al-a-McDreamy and Meredith. She’d never seen any steamy hospital smooching in any of the hospitals she’d worked in, but maybe...
‘Yes, you. I don’t see any other doctors in here. I was wondering if you could do me a favour.’
So, no steamy kisses in an elevator. Oh, well, it wasn’t like she would have taken him up on the offer, anyway. She couldn’t, wouldn’t get involved with someone so soon. She didn’t deserve to have anything brighten her life right now.
‘Sure, what are you after?’
‘Would you be able to duck down to the cardiac ward and do a consult for me? I’ve got back-to-back appointments and I don’t think I’ll have time to get there.’
‘No problems. I’m on the respiratory ward this afternoon, so I can pop around then, unless it’s urgent?’
‘Urgent, but not that urgent. This afternoon will be fine.’
‘Cool. What’s the patient’s name?’
Travis unclipped the phone from his waist, pressing the screen a couple of times before looking back up at her. ‘Caleb Barnes. He’s scheduled for a bypass operation tomorrow, but snoring and apnoeas have been observed while he’s been on the ward. Dr Thomas is his cardiologist.’
Beside her, Sammy let out a little squeak. Kelli glanced at her quickly, her eyes questioning, her mind wondering, but the young Islander woman shook her head and waved her hand in the universal “ignore me” signal. When Kelli turned back to Travis all the humour had left him, his mouth had a stern, downward cast to it, and his eyes were drilling holes in the back of Sammy’s head.
Yikes! What was going on?
‘Travis?’ she tried to draw his attention back to her. She had to call to him a second time before her voice registered. He gave himself a little shake and turned his eyes back to hers, a shadow of his former smile ghosting across his face.
‘Sorry…I…If you think he needs a sleep study, you’ll need to see Jenny. She’s the Sleep Unit Manager-’
‘I know Jenny,’ Kelli piped up quickly.
‘Ah, good. Well, she should be able to organise a portable unit for you.’
‘Anything else?’ Kelli asked, sticking to the professional focus. Instinctively she knew it was what he needed. She flicked open the diary in her own phone, jotting down the pertinent information he’d already provided.
‘No,’ he said, and she slipped the phone away. ‘Just…ah…thanks.’ This time his smile was genuine. ‘I owe you one.’
Kelli’s phone beeped as a text message arrived the following afternoon. She pressed the pause button on the Dictaphone she was recording her letter into and checked the screen. The message was from one of the night nurses, Ana, with an address in Paddington and CUF
C-U-F? What did she mean? It took Kelli a few moments to decipher the acronym. See you Friday— of course!
By now feeling extremely unhip, it was all Kelli could do to suppress a groan. It had been days since the spur of the moment invitation from the young woman; Kelli had almost forgotten about it. Clearly Ana hadn’t.
It wasn’t that she disliked the woman. Ana had made her first weeks here as pleasant as they could be. But Kelli really didn’t feel up to a party tomorrow, with all the making nice, smiling, and small talk. There were much more desirable ways for Kelli to pass the time—such as lying on her couch watching hours of mind-numbing television.
You need to keep living.
Her mother’s words rang through Kelli’s head, but she ignored them; the same way she’d been ignoring them for the last couple of weeks. Her mum didn’t know what happened. She knew the basics, but if she knew the truth, the real truth, it would be a different story.
Kelli did know the truth, which is why she knew she didn’t deserve to keep living. So she’d have to find a way to ditch the party without hurting Ana’s feelings.
She pushed the phone aside without answering the message. She’d finish this letter and then figure out what to say.
A few minutes later she clicked the Dictaphone closed and placed the patient’s file with the others in her out-tray, the paperwork from this morning finally complete. With nothing else left to do, she
reluctantly picked up her phone, and almost dropped it again when it started to vibrate in her hand. She glanced down at the caller ID.
Teegan.
Now she really did drop the phone. Why was she calling? Kelli didn’t want to talk to her, she couldn’t. The last time they’d spoken had been at Jimmy’s funeral, and even then…
No.
Kelli couldn’t bear to hear that woman’s voice, to hear her pain, and to know she was the one responsible for ruining Teegan’s life.
Decision made, she slammed her finger on the red reject square and set the phone on the desk in front of her.
‘I feel sorry for whoever that was.’
Kelli jumped, startled by the sound.
She swung her chair towards the door, her breath catching slightly at the sight of Travis leaning against the doorjamb, his dark hair tousled and begging for her fingers to run through it.
No. Bad Kelli.
‘Ex-boyfriend?’ He sauntered into the room like he owned the place, and Kelli found her eyes unwillingly drawn to his thick, muscular legs, covered, but certainly not disguised by the thin fabric of his suit pants. Her mouth ran dry as the fabric stretched with each movement.
She really needed to think about something other than the feel of those muscles flexing under her fingers.
‘What?’ she asked, focusing on his eyes, though his expression remained neutral.
‘Your ex?’ he asked again, his eyebrows angled towards her phone.
The last thing she needed was for the people at work to find out about Jimmy’s death. Once they found out, they’d treat her differently. They’d walk on eggshells around her, and offer her their condolences.
She didn’t want sympathy from people she barely knew.
Damn and blast, she didn’t want sympathy, full stop. It was why she’d avoided her friends, and Jimmy’s, since the funeral. She didn’t deserve their sympathy.
‘No. Not an ex,’ she dismissed easily. She needed to get him off topic, and fast. ‘Now, is there a reason for this visit? I mean, other than prying into my private life.’
A Heart Worth Mending Page 3
