by K. G. Wilkie
And for what? What purpose could there have been in banishing a little girl to that forsaken Earth?
To suffer through a half life where from now on she’d probably never feel fully comfortable in either world, as a human or as a few, and she’d always be trapped between her two lives that had neither of them been allowed to fully come to pass.
That little girl had committed no crimes. Still, there had been years of punishment heaped upon her. Years of living with a body crippled into wretched health with all the magic every fey’s body depends on ripped away so she could just suffer over there. And for what? What purpose could there be in torturing a little child that way?
Her memory was now tuned to speed through time, a bewildering combination of a flashback and a sort of pseudo mind reading experience shared only by those who have an instant breakthrough in their amnesia. The day she was sent away from her home burned clearly in her mind’s eye, and she remembered now that she’d been cast out with very little explanation of why it was needed. All they said was just that it was necessary for her to be gone.
She’d been a child, trusting in the truthfulness and goodness of the adults in charge of her then. Even with all of the stories of how capricious and terrible the fey could be, she hadn’t paid any attention. She’d thought she’d be safe amongst her own people. Amongst at least her own family and only parent. Stuck in that comforting faith that adults were dependable. The world could be so scary to children, so all of them were stuck in that mindset at some point.
But she had been an older child, a silly and tricksy child. She had been confident in herself, confident that she was ever so clever. Alyss knew that the version of her back then would have thought she was so clever. She would surely have thought that she would have been capable of seeing the lies adults told to children for their own convenience. But she’d been too young and blindly trusted that the adults were telling the truth because of course they always tell the truth. But it was a lie. It was a lie, it had always been a lie, and now here she was at the end of the line with nothing better for her future in sight.
The fiery projection burned out, and the leaf her memories had been stored on turned to dust. She didn’t need them anymore, every memory was now burned inside of her brain like it had never even left.
She looked at the others. Their mouths were open, agape in shock. She couldn’t really blame them. She felt weak and shaken, like a bulldozer had run over her heart, as well.
Everything she had spent the majority of her life believing was a lie. Everything she had thought to be true in those fleeting scenes of the past, she now realized, was a lie as well. The child in the projections had become a character in a tragedy, unloved and directionless.
And Aaron! He had been a good friend. He had always cared about her. But to think that same Aaron had locked her up for weeks in what was little better than a jail cell. It was terrible. He was terrible for doing such a thing. And if her closest friend had betrayed her so, if for only family had done the same, begged the question: who could she trust? Who was on her side?
Darien squeezed her harder. She sniffed and turned to him. The wizard’s cheeks were wet from floods of his own tears from just watching her life play out, and just seeing that seemed to give her permission to bury her head in his shoulder and begin to cry.
CHAPTER TWO
Golden Throne
Clearly it was time to get answers. And answers, she had found, tended to be found when you spoke to the people at the top. And there was no one higher in power than the King. Ruler of all the Shadeworld, even marginally ruler over her mother and the Seelie Court of the Fey. Ruler of her jailer, Aeron. He was at least partially to blame for her time locked in his son’s quarters. He was a spoiled rich boy who had been allowed to run free and unfettered, and the buck stopped at the man in charge of his behavior.
Alyss had to push her brother away and mumble that she was leaving to the others. Tears blurred her vision until she screwed them shut and ran blind out of the clearing, stumbling on little roots and grass clumps along the way. But still she kept going. It was embarrassing to be a mess in front of other people. Even worse, it felt rude to ditch the people who had risked becoming the enemies of the monarchy to free her. But there was no way to stay there and blubber with a full collection of virtual strangers that had just witnessed every embarrassing detail of her life. She couldn’t face herself yet, and she certainly couldn’t face all the friends standing there for her, least of all because she’d met them so recently and they had only her escape to connect them and little else. And Darien? He was her brother. The guy would understand.
It seemed like the only place that was right for her now was the palace.
Her entrance to the palace this time was, well, unusual. She had escaped as a runaway prisoner. But now it was obvious Alyss had returned as something else. No longer did she look scared like a feeble little human. Alyss held her head high and walked with her full stride.
She still wore the sneakers she’d worn on earth the months ago when she had been kidnapped. But now her shirt from her time imprisoned here was noticeably different for the telltale slits down her back.
Her wings popped out of those same slits in irritation as she was waylaid going in. The guards at the outer wall hesitated to let her in. Still, her wings were clearly made of starlight, a similarity to Queen Titania no one who knew anything could miss. Titania herself held a privileged position at the Dragon Palace, seeing as it was her own former home that she had given to Vovin as a gift when he sought to become ruler of all the peoples of the Shadeworld and unify all the courts so they would have strength together. This gift had cemented an alliance between dragon and fey, and the guards knew that they would be stirring up trouble they didn’t want if Titania herself was refused. Her daughter Alyss, however, was a gray area. She was imprisoned here, and had clearly returned as a runaway, so in normal circumstances the guards would have recaptured her and returned her to her cell. But though she had left as Alyss of Florida, it was clear she had returned as Alyss, daughter of Titania, Queen of the Fey. No one wanted to risk offending her. They also didn’t want to offend their prince. The guards held her, politely and gently as one would for any dignitary, but they wouldn’t let her inside or let her leave. As they blocked her entrance, though they started to sweat profusely, as they didn’t really want to keep her out, either.
They quickly conferred with each other on what to do. Then they offered to send a message to Aeron to request that he grant her right to entry as a free person. Alyss sneered her refusal and demanded to speak to Vovin instead. The message was quickly borne off, and quickly returned with instructions to send her in.
The guards offered to show her the way, but she swept past them. Alyss didn’t need directions like some palace visitor. She was herself again, and as a child she had grown up in these halls and knew every passage and every room.
“I hear you’ve returned to us fully this time,” the king greeted her as she came in. His throne was fully gilded and blinding with the light streaming in through the windows, so he stood on his dais to speak with her, either accidentally or purposefully spreading his expansive cloak so that his body and accoutrements shielded her eyes from the worst of it. Knowing him, she was sure it was done fully on purpose, and it was an unusual touch of thoughtfulness he didn’t stoop to with most of his subjects. It was a good sign of the direction the talk ahead of them might take.
“No, not quite. I’ve returned to the Shadeworld, but as far as the palace goes I’m not staying. I just came because I have a bone to pick with you,” Alyss said.
The king nodded. “I’d expected it would be something like that,” he said. Vovin smiled. “I have to say though, I’m feeling a little out of sorts right now. It’s just so distracting to see you again. It was nice to see you as your human self, yes. But of course I am prejudiced and much prefer the fully realized version of you returned to us. I like seeing the wings that I taught to fly once ag
ain,” he said.
Alyss softened at that.
She let the knowledge touch some little corner of her heart that was stuffed with memories and nostalgia and being placed on her first pony and playing hide and seek with this man, this great man who was king of an entire realm, but had acted as her fond uncle for her years here which should have been wretched if she’d only had the occasional company and notice her mother gave her. But she knew she couldn’t be persuaded by such a human failing as fondness. Alyss told herself that she needed to be a real fey now, to be strong and practical and most of all to do only what would benefit her and not let something as stupid as her heart to lead her to be weak in speaking to the king that had let his fondness for his son cloud his judgment. She had to remember that her most recent experiences of this palace was behind lock doors, and he needed to pay for that indignity. She had to hold him, all of the dragons, accountable.
“I do remember that. I appreciate that you took the time to teach a little pixie when my mother couldn’t spare the same effort for me. It was kind,” Alyss said.
She frowned at him. “More recently you have been less than genial to me. I am sure you were aware of my time locked in one of your guest rooms here. I am sure you had the power to change that, though for some reason you decide not to. Obviously I’m not thrilled with your son right now, but I’m surprised at such cruelty from you,” Alyss said. He was known as a hero, the man who swept in when all those who weren’t human were besieged during the witch hunts on The Original, or as she liked to call it, Earth. He’d unified the courts of the Shadeworld under his rule, he’d given them safety in their numbers. He’d opened up the portals between Shadeworld and Original so that all of their peoples could come through the portals and escape those who hunted them. He’d granted safety even to humans who were being hunted by their own kind. He was the hero in so many of the children’s songs she’d grown up singing. He’d been a hero to her, once upon a time. But her imprisonment had ripped the scales off her eyes. She was almost an adult now, she knew as clearly as anyone else that being an adult or even a generally nice person didn’t make anyone perfect.
But still, if she’d had her memories just a few days ago, she would have been so disappointed in him. The betrayal was so much worse than her own mother stealing her memories and powers and sending her off to the Original in the first place. Titania was a decent mother for a fey, but that didn’t account too much when many members of your court eat their own young or sell them into slavery. She hadn’t ever expected too much from Titania. But the thing that cut was that Vovin had practically raised her. After being betrayed and imprisoned by her childhood best friend, the certainty that a mentor who had been her hero in childhood had let her down so badly was somehow even more cutting a disappointment.
Vovin sighed. “I am sorry about that child. I know it cannot have been comfortable,” he said.
Alyss snorted at that. ‘Uncomfortable’ was definitely an understatement.
He shrugged. “There are some things even with your memory you still aren’t aware of. I thought it was best for you to be safe in the meantime. Aeron merely had the same intentions. In the circumstances, doing this seem to be the best option for your safety,” King Vovin said. He warded off her complaints. “I understand that you might not agree. Still, there’s a lot of revolutions going on in this world now. Things you would have known about as a human, and still haven’t caught up with now as your memories of this world date from so long ago. Things have changed. The people are no longer desperate for peace and stability here. No, they are desperate for power.” He eyed her. “You bear an awful lot of power on your own now. But many have realized they would have a stronger position if they kept you as a political puppet. You don’t have the battle experience to keep yourself safe from those who’d seek to use you. You don’t have the political experience to keep yourself safe in that arena either. You may have your memories back, but you have no experience or skill dealing with this world as an adult. Might as well still be a child here, and everyone is aware of that but you,” he said.
Alyss glared at him. Blast that Vovin! He was not just treating her like a child, he’d had the gall to even call her one to her face. “Maybe I would have the ability to defend myself if someone told me what was going on instead of locking me up and babysitting me. So go on, tell me. I demand that you explain what is going on,” she said. It was a relief in some ways to feel this anger once again, to cast away the disappointment that had started to make her feel like a weak human child again. It reminded her that she was here to keep him, to keep the dragons, accountable.
Vovin laughed. “If you have the ability to find that out yourself, you definitely don’t have the ability to deal with it yet. Get some spies, keep your ears open. Take over power of your people from your mother - it shouldn’t be hard, she isn’t exactly involved in things - and find out what is going on yourself. Only then will you have any right to do anything about it.” He smiled ruefully at her scowl. “I know it’s not exactly the most helpful advice, but I think someday you will appreciate that it was honest and had no strings attached. That’s more than you can say of anyone else who gives advice to political rivals in this or any other world,” Vovin added.
She puffed up and had a scathing comeback ready on her tongue when he interrupted her. “No no, don’t worry about it for now. Right now it’s best that you just get some rest I think. A good night’s sleep is always a great way to start a political play in my experience,” he said. With a wave of his hand the wall of the chamber subtly melted away to reveal her childhood rooms. His magic was much less flashy than Aeron’s had been in her recent experience, but the sight of her rooms distracted her. They were still the same, powder blue for the bedsheets and floor, butter yellow wallpaper littered with scrawled drawings. Alyss walked into the chamber and forgot all about the king before he called out to her and she looked back at him again.
“Have a good night dear,” he said, “And don’t forget that it is time for you to take your future into your own hands. I’ve restored your rights here in the palace and the kingdom to your full previous authorities, but if you want anything more you will have to chase it down yourself,” Vovin added.
The hole in her wall faded away and she was left looking at a map. The mountains and lakes and seas and everything else on the Shadeworld was notated as she’d once remembered it. Blue ink from some long ago marker still circled Avalon, the home she had been born in but had never seen as a child. This was the bedroom she’d grown up in, and she’d been sent away like a naughty child in time out. She threw one of her pillows against the wall and squeezed the next. How dare he send her away like this! How dare he dismiss her when he was done, without caring if she was! How dare that king!
She collapsed in the chair, flicking the tassels on the end of the pillow she still held. The audience had been a short one. It could be that he had some reason he wanted to talk with her quickly and then be done with it. It might be interesting to look into why he decided to be short and to the point, when he’d always talked at length before like a doting parent, Alyss mused.
But the content of the talk was magnetic. He saw her as a child still, obviously. And yet something he’d said did have some merit. Alyss had lived her whole childhood restrained to the grounds of the dragon clans’ palace, and then she had been restrained to the two neighborhoods she’d lived in on Earth. She was done being restrained.
Alyss smiled. Vovin had been right about one thing, she’d been restrained by others for long enough. Now it was time for her to move up in the world by her own power.
CHAPTER THREE
Appearances
Vovin eased up from his chair with his arm dug into his back. “This didn’t use to hurt. You’d think I was starting to get old after a few centuries, but I’m not even a thousand yet,” he groaned. The magic that let him take on the appearance of his old human form was good enough to let the physical world and any onlookers think he was
unchanged. Still, a mere glamour couldn’t change the reality that his human form was forever destroyed. Just days ago he’d been wounded in battle, and his full human form was now disfigured and broken in a way that was shameful for a strong warrior and monarch to boot. So instead he wore this glamour as a mask, but it itched and pulled at him. The ache of his loss and the pain from losing his limbs still streaked through his body, regardless of his dragon form still being whole and hale. His body didn’t care that one form was intact, it simply mourned the losses that had broken part of him. For this audience, and the near future, he would continue to wear this terrible glamour that didn’t wear as well on his body compared to the fey who could effortlessly stay in their glamours for centuries at a time. But still Vovin was determined to wear this blasted spell. He still hoped that if he wore this for a few centuries, his family might forget altogether that he’d gotten more than one major injury during the battle with those rebellious shifters.
A tinkle of laughter came from the corner. “Don’t start groaning about old bones yet, Vovin dear. I wouldn’t want to think you had aged so much. Think of what you’ll do to my fun if you have to go and die on me at some point,” she said.
Vovin rolled his eyes. The woman was supposed to ask for an audience with him, then speak to his secretary to work out a suitable time to make an appointment. But once again Titania proved she disliked to hold to the way things were supposed to be done. Especially when it came to kowtowing to the rules put in place by her predecessor. He sighed, accepting the inevitable, and gestured her to sit on one of the chairs and say whatever needed to be said.
