by Marie Force
Just after four, Susannah went upstairs to change.
Ryan joined her a few minutes later.
“How are you doing?” she asked. “Feeling okay?”
“Yeah, you know, a little sad, but I guess that’s normal.”
“I’d be worried if you weren’t sad.”
“I feel better knowing you’ll be there with me.” He reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I appreciate you coming along.”
“Sure. It’s no problem.”
He kissed her hand and released it so they could get dressed.
She put on a dark suit with heels and the two-carat diamond earrings he had given her on their wedding day.
He emerged from his walk-in closet wearing navy dress pants, a starched white shirt and a tweed sports jacket. “I’m glad I still had some clothes here. Saved me a trip into town.”
“Since you never came to get them, I’d been thinking about donating them to the Salvation Army.”
He smiled. “Not so fast, darlin’.” Crossing the room, he hugged her from behind. “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thank you.” She turned to him as she secured the back of the second earring. “So do you—as always.”
He toyed with one of the earrings. “I’m glad you still wear them.”
“I love them. You know I do.”
“And I love you. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that yet today.”
She sent him a teasing grin. “No, you haven’t. Are you already taking me for granted again?”
His eyes were serious. “Never again.”
“I was kidding, Ry.”
“I know.”
“Listen, before we go and before everything gets crazy, there’s something I want to tell you.”
“What, baby?” he asked, concerned.
“It’s nothing bad,” she said as she smoothed her hands over his crisp shirt. “I want you to know that even though I didn’t say it very often when we were married, because of the situation with your ego and all of that...”
“Oh, God, where’s this going?” he groaned.
She chuckled at the pained expression on his face. “I was just going to say I was always proud of you and everything you accomplished in your career. I’m proud of the way you handled yourself with class in every situation—even the ones that didn’t deserve it. You always took the high road.” She reached up to brush the hair off his forehead. “And I’m proud that despite everything that’s happened to you—all the acclaim and attention—that the most important parts of you are exactly the same as they were the day I met you. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Susannah,” he whispered, his voice full of emotion as he took her into his arms. “Thank you. It pleases me more than you could ever know to hear you say that. I may have done all those things you said, but I screwed up the only thing that really matters. Don’t think I don’t realize that.”
“I know you do.”
He leaned in to kiss her. “Come on, let’s go do this, so we can get home and do this,” he said, pressing his hips into hers.
“Stop!” she squealed. “You’ve had enough of that for a while.”
“Oh, no, I haven’t. You owe me a year’s worth. But I’m willing to let you work it off on the installment plan.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re just too good to me.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Ryan didn’t say much on the short ride to Mavericks Stadium on the city’s south side, and Susannah decided to leave him alone with his thoughts. He used his pass to gain access to the players’ parking lot. “We’ve got about twenty minutes,” he said. “Let’s take a walk.”
Wearing a long brown leather coat with his Stetson, he came around the car to help her out. Not a soul was in sight as they walked hand-in-hand through the hallways under the stadium that led to the sprawling locker room, which was sparkling clean and almost surgically neat. The purple floor and yellow walls were adorned with the Mavericks logo. Purple helmets lined the top shelf over the long row of lockers.
An older bald man came in through one of the many doorways that fed into the locker room.
“Sandy! Hey, you look great. How’re you feeling?”
“Hi, Tony. I’m doing much better. You remember my wife, Susannah, right?”
Tony glanced at Ryan before he extended his hand to Susannah. “Of course. Nice to see you again, Mrs. Sanderson. It’s been a while.”
“Hello, Tony.” She was unsure how she felt about being referred to as Ryan’s wife—as if the whole world didn’t know they were minutes from a divorce. “Nice to see you, too.”
“What’re you doing here?” Tony asked Ryan. “I thought you were home recuperating.”
“I’ve got a meeting with Chet and Duke. I wanted to get a few things out of my locker, if that’s okay with you.” To Susannah, Ryan added, “We know better than to touch anything in here without checking with the chief first.”
Tony chuckled. “You think it’s easy being the head counselor at Camp Runamok?” He swept his hand toward Ryan’s locker in the center of the long row. “Feel free.”
Ryan shook his hand. “Thanks, Tony. For everything.”
“Sure, Sandy,” Tony said with a puzzled expression. “You take care now.”
“You, too.”
Tony nodded to Susannah and left them alone.
Ryan walked over to the door bearing the large number eighteen and ran a hand over the helmet on the shelf above his locker. “This must be a new one. I heard the E.R. doctors used a saw to cut off the one I wore in the Super Bowl.”
“You don’t remember?”
He shook his head. “Not a thing after Rodney Johnson hit me, until about eight hours later.”
Susannah winced.
“Sorry, baby.” He kissed her forehead. “I know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.” Opening the yellow locker door, he rifled around in the chaos.
Susannah stepped closer to get a better look at the photos he had hung on the door: her engagement picture, their wedding, Ryan and his mother at his Florida graduation, and some group shots of current and former teammates. Mixed into the collage was an ultrasound photo. “Oh,” she said with a small gasp as she fingered the yellowing edges of the black and white image. “You kept this?”
“It’s the only photo of him we had.”
They gazed at the grainy image of tiny fingers and toes, a sloping spinal column, the little heart.
“I was so proud of that picture,” Ryan said in a hushed voice. “I showed it to everyone.”
“I remember.” She looked up at him. “I’m glad you kept it.”
“Do you want it? You can have it.”
“I still have mine, too.”
They shared a small, sad smile.
“On second thought,” he said, taking a deep breath, “I’ll get the stuff I need from here another time.” Slamming the door closed, he took her hand. “Let’s go outside.” On the way out of the locker room, he grabbed a football from a huge wire basket full of them.
They walked through the dark tunnel that led to the field, emerging at the Maverick’s forty-yard line. Like a rookie getting his first glimpse at the big time, Ryan stepped onto the field and made a slow circle as he took in the towering rows of purple and yellow seats, the championship banners, and skyboxes.
Susannah stayed on the sidelines and watched him.
He tossed the ball back and forth between his hands with an unconscious grace. “Do you know what I loved best about this game?”
“I can think of so many things.”
“There was one in particular.” He fixed his eyes on the goalpost at the far end of the field. “I know what I’m doing here. It’s as clear to me as the next breath.” He flipped the ball up and caught it without taking his eyes off the goalpost. “Outside these walls most things are a mystery. But here...Here, I get it, you know?” He looked over at her. “That sounds dumb, doesn’t it?”
“No.” She joined him on the field. “It doesn’t.”
“They talk about my skills and abilities and throw around big adjectives that—at times—have gone to my head. I won’t deny that.”
Susannah snickered.
“But so much of my good fortune on this field has been due to God-given talent and pure old fashioned good luck—the right team, the right coaches calling the right plays, the right receiver in just the right place at the right time. It’s luck as much as it’s hard work and discipline. At the end of the day, I’ve just been lucky.”
“You should say that. Tomorrow, at your press conference, you should say everything you just said to me.”
“You think so?”
“I do.”
Cocking his lucky arm into shotgun formation, he said, “Want to go long for me, darlin’?”
She raised an amused eyebrow. “In high heels?”
“Yeah, I guess not.”
“I never was a very good receiver anyway.”
“Are we still talking about football?” he asked with a smirk.
“Ryan!”
He laughed, and bracing his ribs with his free hand, he let the ball rip as best he could. Even with a handicap, the ball soared more than fifty yards.
“Not bad for an old retiree,” Susannah said.
“Not bad at all, if I do say so myself.”
“I figured you would.”
He grinned and looped his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go do this thing.”
She stopped him when he would’ve begun to head inside. “Are you going to be able to live without the one thing that makes sense to you?”
He took a long last look around. “I’m hoping you’ll help me over the bumps, but yeah, I’ll be okay. Maybe someday I’ll find something else that makes as much sense.”
“You’d be selling yourself short if you think this is the only thing you can excel at. As I recall, that piece of paper you got from Florida said something about magna cum laude. Now, I’m no college graduate—not yet anyway—but I don’t think they give that to dummies.”
“So you’re not going to let me wallow around in my skivvies and get fat in my retirement?”
She turned up her nose. “Don’t even think about it.”
“You’re going to have to keep a very close eye on me to make sure that doesn’t happen.” He led her inside. “It might be a forty- or fifty-year job that requires a daily commitment.”
“I’ll think about that and get back to you.”
“See that you do, darlin’.” He punched the button for the elevator that would take them up to the executive offices. “In the meantime, I’ll be waiting in my skivvies.”
She laughed and followed him into the purple elevator.
Chapter 16
Chet’s assistant took their coats and ushered them into his huge office overlooking the field far below. The bright yellow office walls were plastered with framed photos of the Mavericks’ colorful owner with everyone from presidents to actors to athletes from all corners of the sporting world.
“There he is!” Chet roared as he got up from behind his massive desk.
Ryan was relieved to receive only an enthusiastic handshake rather than Chet’s usual bone-crushing hug.
“You look great, Sandy,” he said, turning his attention to Susannah. “And it’s so nice to see you, Susie. Martha and I were just tickled pink to hear you two are back together.”
“We’re working on it,” Ryan said quickly, before Susannah could protest.
“How are you feeling, Sandy?” Duke asked as he kissed Susannah’s cheek and held a chair for her at Chet’s conference table where the Lombardi trophy was the centerpiece.
“Much better, but the ribs are still giving me some grief.”
“Takes time,” Duke said. “Ribs are tough.”
“Tell me about it.”
“The president sends his regards.” Chet chomped on an unlit cigar as he uncorked a bottle of champagne and poured four glasses. “He was sorry you couldn’t make the trip, and he wants you to give him a call if you get to D.C.”
Ryan grinned. “Yeah, sure. We’ll go out for a few beers.”
“I bet he’d love that,” Duke said.
Chet reached into his pocket for a slip of paper he handed to Ryan. “He said to have you call this number if you’d like to see him. He’s a huge fan of yours, but of course you know that.”
Ryan exchanged amazed glances with Susannah and had to fight the urge to giggle. Even after a decade as a professional athlete, the attention and adulation could still come as a surprise.
Chet raised his glass in tribute to Ryan. “Here’s to another successful year and to the best quarterback this game has ever seen.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Duke echoed.
Humbled, Ryan said, “Thank you,” as he took a sip of the foaming bubbly and eased himself into the chair next to Susannah.
“It sure is good to see you looking so much better, Sandy.” Chet reclined back in his chair as he studied Ryan with wise, old eyes. “You gave us a helluva scare down there in N’awlins.”
“Sure did,” Duke added with a shudder. “Took five years off my life when you didn’t move for what felt like an eternity.”
Ryan reached for Susannah’s hand under the table, knowing she had gone to great lengths to avoid watching or reading about the play that had caused his injuries. “Well, I’m fine now.”
“And ready to sign the fat new contract The Shark hammered out for you, I hope,” Chet said.
Ryan glanced at Susannah, and she squeezed his hand.
“Um, about that,” he said, hesitating as he prepared to step off the precipice into the unknown.
“Is there a problem?” Chet asked. “I was pretty sure we had a deal after the last meeting.”
“You’ve been extremely generous,” Ryan said. “You know how I hate all the haggling over money and stuff.”
“You’re worth every dime—and then some.” Chet’s craggy face lifted into a big smile around the cigar. He had given up smoking them three years earlier after a health scare. “But don’t tell Aaron I said that.”
Ryan chuckled, took a deep breath, and said, “I’m going to retire.”
The two men stared at him like he was speaking a foreign language.
Chet shook his head as if he hadn’t heard Ryan correctly. “You want to run that by me one more time?”
“I’m retiring. Effective immediately.”
“You can’t be serious, Sandy,” Duke said. “You took a hard hit down there in New Orleans, but to quit...”
“I made this decision weeks before the Super Bowl.”
“I just don’t understand...” Chet stammered.
Ryan leaned forward on the table. “I’m sorry this is coming as such a shock to you, Chet. I really am. You’ve been so much more than a boss. You’ve been a good friend to me and to Susie for the last ten years. We couldn’t have asked for anything more than what we’ve had with the Mavs organization. But I want to go out while I’m still on top, rather than outstaying my welcome.”
“It’s not possible for you to outstay your welcome, with this team or any other for that matter.” Chet slapped the table. “You’re Ryan freaking Sanderson, for Christ’s sakes.” To Susannah, he added, “Pardon my French, honey.”
Susannah held up a hand to let him know no offense had been taken.
“We’ve had a great run.” Ryan struggled to keep his emotions in check. “I’ve had the time of my life here in Denver, but I’m ready for a change.”
Chet studied Ryan for a long moment as if to gauge whether the younger man was open to negotiation. “What do you have to say to this, Duke?” he asked his head coach.
“I’m not entirely surprised,” Duke said.
The other three looked at him with interest.
“I’ve noticed you working with Toad a lot more in the last few months—almost like you were grooming him for something.”
&nb
sp; Ryan shrugged. “He’s worked really hard, and he’s earned the opportunity to show you what he’s got.”
Duke folded his hands on the table. “I’m going to say something to you, and I want you to listen to me, okay?”
With a glance at Susannah, Ryan nodded.
“Chet was dead on before when he said you’re the best quarterback this game has ever seen. After this last Super Bowl, there’ll be no more debating that. I’ve never known a player with more natural ability than you have. You’ve got years left in you, Sandy. Years.” Duke punctuated his point by stabbing the table with his index finger. “You have the opportunity to break every QB record on the books, but you need a few more seasons to do it. I’d like nothing more than to see you get there. So if there’s anything either of us can do to change your mind, I know I speak for Chet when I say all you have to do is name it.”
Chet nodded in agreement.
Ryan’s jaw clenched with tension and emotion. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that, Coach. It’s been such an honor to play for you, to work with you, to call you my friend. I hope you don’t have a single doubt about what you mean to me personally. But I’m done with football.” With his eyes on Susannah, he added, “I’ve learned there are other things in life more important than having my name next to every record in the books.”
Her smile was full of love, and it filled him with confidence.
“You’ve worked awfully hard, and you’re so close,” Duke added with a pleading edge to his voice.
“I’ve played my last game,” Ryan said firmly. “I would’ve liked to have gone out a little more gracefully than I did, but hey, what can you do?”
“What’ve you got to say about this, honey?” Chet asked Susannah.
Susannah looked at Ryan when she said, “I think Ryan feels he’s accomplished everything he set out to do in this game, and he wants to see what else is out there before he’s too beat up to be able to do much of anything.”
Ryan nodded in agreement as Duke and Chet exchanged resigned glances. After a long pause, Chet got up, walked over to his desk, and pressed a button on the phone. “Jenny, will you ask Bob to come up to the office, please?”
