by Marie Force
“They both shot up in the last year,” Mary Jane agreed.
Ryan played bartender, opening beers for himself and Bernie, and a bottle of wine for the women, who settled on one of the sofas.
“I was surprised to hear you guys were having a party,” Bernie whispered to Ryan. “The last time I saw you two you were barely speaking.”
“We’ve made some progress since then.”
Bernie glanced over to the sofa where Susannah was engaged in animated conversation with his wife. “I can see that.”
“You sound surprised.”
“A little,” Bernie admitted.
Ryan grinned. “Were you betting against me?”
“I wouldn’t say that. Exactly. Let’s just say I wasn’t as optimistic as you were.”
“We’re getting back together,” Ryan whispered.
Bernie’s blue eyes widened with surprise. “What about the fiancé?”
“He doesn’t know yet. That’s why I’m whispering. I can’t tell anyone until she tells him.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Bernie rubbed at the red stubble on his chin. “I’m happy for you, man. Truly. I just hope, you know...”
“That I don’t fuck it up again?”
“I wasn’t going to say that. Exactly.”
They shared a laugh as they carried glasses of wine to their wives.
“So listen,” Ryan said. “I wanted you to come early because there’s a reason we’re having the party tonight.”
“What’s going on?” Bernie asked.
Susannah reached for Ryan’s hand.
“I met with Chet and Duke today.”
“Did you sign the new contract?” Bernie asked.
“No.”
“Why the hell not? I heard it was outrageous!”
“Because I’ve decided to retire.”
Bernie burst into laughter. “That’s funny. But really, why didn’t you sign?”
“I’m serious, Bern.”
Bernie looked at Susannah, and she nodded.
“But, why? I don’t get it.”
Ryan explained his reasons to Bernie.
“I just...I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine the Mavs without you.”
“Oh, you guys will be just fine. You probably won’t win any more Super Bowls, but you’ll be okay.”
Susannah rolled her eyes at Mary Jane.
“This is why you’ve been spending so much time with Toad, isn’t it?” Bernie asked. “You knew you were leaving.”
“It was also because Toad’s a damned good quarterback. He’s got a big future ahead of him.”
“But he’s not you.”
“Bern...”
Bernie got up and went over to the fireplace where he squatted down to add a log to the flame.
Ryan followed him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bernie asked.
“I wanted to wait until the season was over.”
Bernie looked up at his friend. “What the hell are you going to do without this game?”
“I’m thinking about coaching.”
“Pro?”
“High school.”
Bernie was startled, but before Ryan could explain, Carol poked her head into the den. “We’re taking off. Everything’s either out or in the oven. Enjoy your evening.”
Ryan and Susannah went over to hug her.
“Thanks a million, Carol,” Susannah said.
“Ditto,” Ryan said, making Carol’s day when he kissed her cheek.
The doorbell rang, and minutes later the house was full of people.
With the help of Mary Jane and Darling’s wife Cindy, Susannah kept the food and drinks flowing. Toad’s girlfriend Nancy balanced their one-year-old daughter Kara on her hip and did what she could to help the other women.
“I can’t believe how fast Ryan bounced back from his injuries,” Cindy said with a shudder. “I was so freaked out when he didn’t move for what felt like forever.”
With a glance at Susannah, Mary Jane said, “We all were.”
“It’s a good thing you weren’t there, Susie,” Nancy said, holding a cracker for Kara. “It was awful.”
“So I’ve heard.” Susannah reached out to the baby, desperate to change the subject. “Is she walking yet?”
“Any day now,” Nancy said.
Susannah’s heart hurt when the little girl’s chubby fingers closed around hers in a tight squeeze.
“Are you and Ryan back together?” Nancy whispered, and all eyes landed on Susannah.
“We’re working on it.”
“That’s good,” Cindy said. “You two belong together. It wasn’t the same without you with us this season, Susie.”
The reminder that she had missed Ryan’s final season in the NFL saddened Susannah.
With a loud whistle, Ryan summoned everyone to the den.
“He beckons,” Susannah said. A knot settled in her stomach as she anticipated the reaction Ryan’s teammates would have to his announcement.
The large room quickly became small as the players, their wives, and girlfriends crowded in together. Ryan held out a hand to Susannah. He had a football tucked under his other arm.
She worked her way through the group until she reached his side.
With his arm around her, Ryan said, “Susie and I want to thank you all for coming over on such short notice. But before I tell you why I asked you to come tonight, I want you to know I’m so proud of this team and what we accomplished this year. They said we were rebuilding and the expectations were low, but we showed them, didn’t we?”
The question led to hollering, whistling, and high-fiving.
“This season was the most amazing ride, and I’ll never forget a minute of it.” Ryan cleared his throat and glanced at Susannah.
She nodded with encouragement.
“That leads me to the reason for this shindig tonight. This afternoon, I met with Duke and Chet.”
“And signed that new fifty-million-dollar contract?” Darling asked, starting another burst of whistling.
“He’s holding out for more!” Toad called from the back of the room.
“No, no.” Ryan held up his hand. “They said if I signed there wouldn’t be enough left to pay you, Toad.”
The young man’s face fell, and the others roared with laughter.
“Seriously,” Ryan said after they’d had their laughs. “I didn’t sign the contract because I’ve decided to retire.”
The room fell silent.
“I can’t imagine a better time to go out than after the incredible season we’ve just had.” He raised his arm and tossed the ball he’d been holding to Toad. “It’s your turn now. You’re ready, you’ve worked hard, and I’m asking everyone to get behind you and to support you the way they’ve supported me.”
Like a deer in headlights, Toad caught the ball as his girlfriend Nancy began to weep softly.
Ryan’s teammates had a hundred questions—and arguments against his decision. During the next half hour, he handled each one with unwavering patience. When there was nothing left to ask or answer, Darling stood up and raised his beer bottle to Ryan. “There’s no man whose hands I’d rather have on my ass than yours,” the team’s center said with an expression so serious and so solemn that the others were crippled with laughter.
“Thank you, Darling,” Ryan said with a big grin. “I’m touched.”
“You’ll be missed,” Darling said. To the others, he added, “During these times that try a man’s soul, the best thing to do is drink—heavily.”
His proclamation was met with loud cheers.
Beers were passed around followed by shots of Jack Daniels.
In the midst of the chaos, Ryan hugged Susannah. “That went okay, huh?”
“It was great,” she said. “Perfect.”
He was soon swept away to do a shot with his teammates.
Susannah took advantage of the opportunity to escape into the kitchen where she found Nancy still in tear
s.
“What’s wrong, honey?” Susannah asked the younger woman.
“I just don’t know if I’m ready for all this,” Nancy said in her lilting Georgia accent. “Todd was content to play behind Ryan. He thought he had years to go before he’d be in this position. There’s going to be so much pressure and attention...”
Susannah put her hands on Nancy’s shoulders. “All you have to do is provide a warm, soft place for him to land in the middle of the insanity. That’s your job.”
“Is that what you did?” Nancy asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
Susannah thought about it. “Not always—not as often as I should have,” she said, startled to discover it was true. “You just do the best you can. That’s all any of us can do. And while you’re at it, enjoy the perks and use the clout you’ll gain as his girlfriend—or maybe even his wife someday—to give something back to the community.”
“He wants to get married.”
“You don’t?”
Nancy shrugged. “I don’t know if this life is for me, Susie. I’m not like you. You’re so calm and cool all the time. I wish I could be more like you.”
Susannah snorted with laughter. “I’m a mess inside, just like everyone else. I’ll let you in on a secret. When I first met Ryan, I had no idea what a quarterback was.”
“That’s not true!” Nancy said, scandalized. “How could you not know that?”
“I grew up surrounded by women with a father whose primary interest in sports involved horse racing. I was in no way prepared for the life I’ve led. You’ll figure it out, Nancy, just like I did. Remember—it’s not about whether this life is for you. It’s about whether that man is for you.”
The man in question picked that moment to come into the kitchen, holding Kara on his shoulders. “There you are, honey.” Toad put his arm around Nancy. “Are you okay?”
With a grateful glance at Susannah, she said, “I will be.”
Chapter 18
Just after midnight, Susannah took a final trip through the first floor collecting discarded bottles and cans.
Ryan came in after walking Darling and Cindy to their car. “What a great party.” His eyes were bright from excitement and alcohol. “Thanks again for pulling it together so fast, baby.”
“You’ll have to think of some way to thank Carol. She’s the one who pulled it off.”
“Hmm.” He scratched his chin. “I’m sure I can think of some way to thank her.”
“She’ll take whatever you’re doling out,” Susannah said, tying the garbage bag and leaving it by the back door to take out in the morning.
Ryan snaked his arms around her from behind. “What about you? Will you take whatever I’m doling out?” When she didn’t reply, he turned her around. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
Susannah looped her arms around his waist and leaned her forehead against his chest.
“Susie? What is it? You haven’t changed your mind in the last four hours, have you? I can’t believe I filled the house with football players ten minutes after you agreed to give me another chance. Good move, Sanderson.”
“It was fine. They were very well behaved.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I realized something tonight when I was talking to Nancy about what to expect as the starting QB’s significant other.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve let you take most of the blame for what happened between us—”
“Most of it was mine to take.”
“But not all of it. I wasn’t as supportive of you and your career as I should’ve been.”
His face twisted with confusion. “What’re you talking about? You came to every one of my games, you’ve led the team’s work with Children’s Hospital—and continued that even after we broke up. How can you say you weren’t supportive?”
“I wasn’t supportive of you. I learned about football, mostly by being around it, but I never cared about it as much as I could have. I wanted you to do well and not get hurt, but I could’ve been more interested in the details.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted that, Susie. By the time I got home to you, the last thing I wanted to think or talk about was football. I told you the other day, I liked that you weren’t a football groupie. You gave my life balance. Without that—and without you—I can’t imagine what these last ten years would’ve been like. I probably would’ve become one of those overpaid athletes you read about in the police reports.”
“No way. You were too smart and too focused to take that path.”
“I don’t know.” With his arm around her, he flipped off the lights and steered her toward the stairs. “I might’ve been tempted to become one of football’s famous bad boys—lots of boozing, a different woman every night, you know the type.”
“Highly doubtful.”
“We’ll never know, though, will we? Because I had my beautiful wife to keep me on the straight and narrow.” He rained soft kisses down her neck, making her tremble. “And you, my love, have miles to go and promises to keep before you sleep.”
“Whatever do you mean, Mr. Frost?” she asked with a coy smile.
“You know.” He sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes. “I’m waiting.”
“You’ll just have to wait a little longer,” she said, heading for the bathroom.
He fell back on the bed with a deep sigh. “Hurry up!”
Susannah rushed through her nightly skincare routine. When she had applied her moisturizer and brushed her teeth, she took off everything except the requested jersey, which fell to mid-thigh. The silky material against her bare skin made her feel both sexy and like a nervous bride on her wedding night. In some ways it was like a wedding night. Everything was new again, and she was determined to make it work this time.
Filled with excitement and anticipation of all that was ahead for them—tonight and in the future—she emerged from the bathroom to find Ryan in bed with his back to her. Turning off his lamp, she went around to her side. She smiled when she saw his eyes were closed and his breathing steady. So much for his big plans.
She left her light on when she got into bed and turned on her side to face him. How I ever thought I could live the rest of my life without him, I’ll never know. Well, you do know, but there’s no use thinking about that stuff anymore. It’s all in the past now. Susannah scooted closer to him and reached out to caress his chest.
He pounced.
She shrieked.
“You thought I was sleeping didn’t you?” he asked with a delighted grin.
With her hand on her heart, she said, “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Do you honestly think I would go to sleep knowing you were about to come out here wearing only my jersey?” He lifted the hem of the shirt to make sure she had followed his instructions. His eyes went dark with lust when he saw she had done exactly what he’d asked her to. “Are you crazy?”
“You were faking!”
“Yep.”
“And here I was thinking you’re all talk and no action.”
“Those are fighting words,” he said with a menacing scowl.
She had forgotten how much fun he was to be with. Nothing was ever simple or boring or routine. Not with Ryan Sanderson. “I missed you, Ry,” she confessed. “I missed you every night. I hated going to bed alone after sleeping with you for so many years.”
He pulled her closer to him. “I missed you so much it made me sick, especially when I imagined you sleeping with Henry. Ugh. Unbearable.”
She pressed her lips to his chest and ran her hand up and down his back.
“Why didn’t you ever sleep with him, Susie? Really?”
“I don’t know. It wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part, believe me.”
“Spare me the details. Please.”
“I just couldn’t bring myself to actually do it.”
“Why did you agree to marry him? I don’t get it.”
“He was very attentive and romantic.
He said and did all the things I thought I needed and was just there for me. Then we went to Chicago for a weekend, and he proposed. I was completely shocked.”
“You had no idea he was going to?”
“None at all.”
“Why did you say yes?”
“I was so numb and lost and afraid. He represented safety and peace to me. It’s hard to explain the place I was in at that time. I had lost Justin, I’d lost you...Nothing mattered.”
“He knew you were vulnerable and took advantage of that.”
“I don’t think there was anything sinister about his intentions, Ry. It wasn’t like that.”
“He took advantage of the situation to get what he wanted. You’ll never convince me otherwise.”
“Then I won’t try.”
“By the way, you never lost me. We got a little sidetracked, but you never lost me.”
“We almost got divorced,” she reminded him. “With any other judge we’d be divorced by now. I’d probably be married to someone else and still missing you every minute of every day.”
“Then thank God we got the right judge.” He kissed her and caressed her breasts through the silky fabric. “Mmm, so hot...”
Susannah nudged him onto his back and carefully rested on top of him. “Does that hurt?”
“Not my ribs, if that’s what you mean.”
“Yes,” she said with a giggle. “That’s what I meant.”
“Thank you,” he said, reaching under the jersey to cup her bottom.
“For?”
“Giving me another chance. I’m going to make sure you never regret it.”
“I won’t.”
“You sound pretty confident.”
“I have faith in you.” She kissed him and sighed when his arms tightened around her. “Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“I want us to try again to have a baby.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “I’m so tired of being afraid all the time. The doctors said it was a fluke, and I have to believe them. It’s not going to happen again.”
“That’s right. I’m ready to do my part.”
She chuckled. “Yes, I can tell.”
Turning them over so he was on top, he rolled his tongue over her nipple through the silky fabric as he entered her slowly.
