by Marie Force
“He won’t have anything to do with them.” After a pause, Duke said, “I hate to ask this of you, especially with two little ones underfoot, but is there any way you might be able to come up and have a talk with him? Toad has so much respect for you. If anyone can get through to him, you can. Chet said he’d send his plane for you. I know it’s an awful lot to ask, but we’re at our wit’s end around here.”
“Of course I’ll come.” Ryan’s mind raced with a million reasons why this wasn’t a good time. But after everything Duke and Chet had done for him and Susie during his ten seasons as a Maverick, there was almost nothing they could ask of him that he wouldn’t do.
“That’s great news. Thank you so much. Bring Susie and the kids and make a vacation out of it if you can spare the time.”
With his high school coaching season over and planning for the next one under way, Ryan had more free time than usual this time of year. He’d been looking forward to some downtime with Susie and the kids. They could spend a few days at their place in Breckenridge, and maybe even get their two-year-old, Hope, on skis for the first time.
“How soon do you think you could get here?”
“Let me talk to Susie and see what we can do.”
“The sooner the better. I’m worried about him in that cabin all by himself.”
“I’ll get back with you this morning.”
“I’ll wait to hear from you—and thanks again for this, Sandy. We all appreciate it.”
“Happy to help if I can.” He ended the call and took a minute to think about a few commitments he’d have to move around to make an unexpected trip to Denver. Emerging from the bathroom, he encountered Susie sitting up in bed, breastfeeding their son. The sight of her tending to their babies never failed to hit him like a punch to the gut, especially when he thought about how close he’d come to losing her forever.
He tried not to think about that too often, but he was thankful every day for the second chance they’d gotten. Their relationship had never been better, even with the added strain of two little ones to care for. They had learned to put their marriage first, and he would never take her for granted again. And after losing their first child, Justin, before he was born, they loved and appreciated every minute of the chaos that now surrounded them.
“Did I wake him up?” Ryan asked when he got into bed next to her.
“Nope. His empty belly did.”
Ryan ran a finger over his son’s light blond hair. Both their children were blond, which was no surprise since he and Susie were both natural blonds.
“Who was on the phone?”
“Duke.”
“What did he want so early?”
“Apparently, Toad’s in a bad way, and they want me to come up and have a talk with him.”
“I heard from Nancy last week. She said he’s been in a deep funk lately. No one can figure out what’s going on with him.”
“Duke said he’s locked himself up in his cabin and won’t talk to anyone.”
“That’s too bad. The poor guy can’t catch a break lately.”
“He’s letting it all get to him, which is the worst thing he can do.”
“How is he supposed to not let it get to him when people are talking about him choking and buckling and not being anything like you? The editorial last week about the Mavs bringing you out of retirement to save the season must’ve really hurt him.”
Ryan sighed. He’d read the coverage and had wondered how long it would take before the pressure broke Toad. “I hate when they drag me into it.”
“When does Duke want you to come?”
“I think he wants me there today, if possible.”
Her eyes bugged. “Today as in today?”
Smiling, he said, “How do you feel about a quick trip to Denver? We could spend a few days in Breckenridge, get Hope on skis…”
“Ah, well, I guess we can do that…”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, especially after a rough couple of days on the teething front, but Duke sounded really stressed. He wouldn’t ask me to get involved if he didn’t really need me. And I don’t want to go without you guys.”
It still amazed Ryan, who used to do full weeks on the road away from his wife during his playing years, that he now couldn’t bear to spend a single night apart from her or his children. “He said Chet would send his plane for us, so we can take the ten tons of equipment required to travel with babies.”
“A few days away does sound good,” she said.
“Are you lying?”
“Would I lie to you?”
Grinning, he said, “I know it’s a lot to ask, darlin’, especially when we’re sleep deprived.”
“We’d be doing a favor for dear friends, and we can sleep when we’re dead.”
Ryan laughed and took the baby from her when she finished feeding him. Propping his milk-drunk son on his shoulder, he gently patted his back until he heard a burp.
“Just like his daddy, he’s always good for a loud burp.”
“That’s my boy.”
She rolled her eyes at him and got out of bed. “I’m hoping a shower will wake me up, and if you really love me, you’ll have coffee made by the time I get out.”
“I really love you. Brayden and I will go make the coffee.”
“We’re not waking Hope up early. That’s my one condition on this spur-of-the-moment trip.”
Ryan recoiled in horror. “I’d never suggest waking her early.” His little angel turned into a demon when her sleep was interrupted. “I’ll call Duke and tell him we’ll meet the plane at one.”
“That’ll work. Hopefully, they’ll nap on the plane.”
“I owe you big for this, Susie.”
“I’ll add it to your tab,” she said, sending a saucy smile over her shoulder as she went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
“Your mommy is very, very cute,” he said to Brayden as he carried him downstairs to start the coffee Susie needed to jumpstart her day. Their house in Arlington, Texas, was slightly more modest than the McMansion they’d owned in Denver, but they’d conceded to a gated community to keep his fans from tracking them down. Though he was recognized just about everywhere he went, people were usually respectful and polite.
Since Hope had arrived, Ryan had gotten good at doing things with one hand, including make coffee, which he did while holding Brayden. Then he withdrew his phone from the pocket of his pajama pants and called Duke.
“How about a one o’clock pickup in Dallas?” he asked when his coach answered.
“The plane will be waiting. Can’t thank you enough, Sandy.”
“You and Chet and the Mavs are family to me and Susie, Coach. If you need me, I’m there.”
At one o’clock, Ryan carried Hope and Susannah carried Brayden as they walked across the tarmac to meet the private plane that bore the Denver Mavericks’ logo. Ryan shook the outstretched hand of the pilot, a longtime Mavericks’ employee. “Nice to see you, Mike.”
“Likewise, Ryan. Beautiful family you got there.”
“Thank you. We’re enjoying them. You remember my wife, Susannah, right?”
“Of course.” He shook Susie’s hand. “Nice to see you again, ma’am.”
“You, too, Mike.”
“Let’s get you to Denver. Chet told me to make it snappy, and when the big man says jump…”
“We say how high,” Ryan said, grinning.
“Good to see you haven’t forgotten.”
“I haven’t forgotten anything. Once a company man, always a company man.” From the day he’d been drafted by the Mavs out of the University of Florida, where he’d won a Heisman Trophy as the Gators’ quarterback, he had been well cared for by Chet Logler and the entire Mavericks organization. Even in his second year of retirement, he was still and always a Maverick. The day the team had retired his number had been one of the proudest of his life.
On the two-hour flight, while Brayden slept in his arms and Susie tried to get Hope
to take a nap, Ryan thought about Toad and the swift fall from the high of last year when the Mavs had made it into the playoffs to now when their playoff chances were all but scuttled after a zero and seven start to the season.
It had been painful to watch the team this year when it seemed everything that could go wrong did in the first seven games—interceptions and turnovers and the kind of sloppy play lesser teams were known for. As one of the better-coached teams in the NFL, sloppy wasn’t a word often used to describe the Mavs. But this year, it was the only word that fit. And Toad was the biggest problem they had, hands down. Ryan had watched him closely in every game this season, and he suspected something had undermined his self-confidence. Toad had lost his swagger and his precision. He led the league in sacks and interceptions, and his passing percentage was in the toilet.
Long before Duke called, Ryan had wondered what the hell had gone so wrong since the team’s playoff run last year.
During his final two years on the team, Ryan had become close to the man who would go on to take his place. He’d done his best to prepare him for life in the spotlight and had been proud of the way Toad had stepped up last year. Ryan had left big shoes to fill. He knew that, and Toad had done an able job of drowning out the buzz to focus on the game last season. For weeks now, Ryan had wondered what had gone so wrong since then, but he hadn’t wanted to reach out to Toad and add to the cacophony of voices in his head.
Ryan had heard from his best friends on the team, Bernie Peterson and Marcus “Darling” Darlington, that Toad was falling apart, and no one knew what to do to get him back on track. From what his friends had told him, Toad had gone silent on them as things went from bad to worse. He wasn’t talking to his wife or his friends or his coaches, and Ryan wondered what made the team’s management think Toad would talk to him.
Susannah took Brayden, laid him on the sofa next to his sleeping sister and covered him with his favorite blanket.
Ryan held out his arms to her, and she curled into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. She had deep, dark grooves under her eyes from the lack of sleep. They’d just gotten Hope to the point where she was sleeping through the night when Brayden had arrived. He’d been a bit of a surprise, since they’d both been under the misguided impression that she wouldn’t get pregnant again right away. Wrong.
“Take a snooze while you can, darlin’.”
She yawned. “What’re you thinking about?”
“Toad and what’s up with him. I hope he’ll talk to me—or someone—before he ruins his promising career.”
“He thinks the world of you. If anyone can get through to him, you can.”
“I hope so.” Ryan closed his eyes, just for a minute, and the next thing he knew, Mike was announcing their approach into Denver.
Susannah was sound asleep in his arms, so he carefully moved her to the next seat over and buckled her in for landing.
Then he went to the sofa to put seat belts on his sleeping children.
None of them stirred until the plane landed and the thrusters deployed with a roar that woke them all. Both kids came to crying, and as soon as they could, he and Susie got up to retrieve them.
They were met by Duke and Chet in an SUV that Chet drove himself, outfitted with car seats for the kids.
“Where’d you guys get car seats?” Ryan asked after both men had hugged him and Susie and greeted the kids. “How’d you know to do that?”
“We got grandkids,” Chet said indignantly. Watching him chomp on an unlit cigar made Ryan feel right at home. “We know the drill.” Glancing in the mirror as he drove them into town, Chet said, “We sure do appreciate the hell out of you doing this for us.”
“Anything you for you and the Mavs,” Ryan said. “Just hope it helps.”
“It certainly can’t hurt,” Chet said. “Martha’s got the guesthouse all set up for you. She even had me move a couple of cribs in there.”
“That’s very sweet of you both,” Susie said. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank us, sweetheart,” Chet said. “We’re just glad you came.”
As they rode into Denver, Ryan took in the familiar sight of the city they’d called home for ten of the best years of his life. They’d had some hard times here, too, especially after they lost Justin and then nearly lost each other in the devastating aftermath. The best thing Ryan had ever done was fight for her and their marriage. He would never again take for granted something as important as the wife he loved with his whole heart and soul.
Her hand curled around his and gave a squeeze. Ryan glanced at her and knew her thoughts mirrored his.
Denver already felt like a long time ago. Life was far simpler these days, even with the demands of coaching one of the better high school football teams in the country, even with his ongoing endorsement deals and even with two little ones to care for. He was grateful for his time in the NFL and the years they’d spent here, but he’d be glad to get home to Arlington in a few days, back to the new reality that suited him far more than being an NFL star ever had.
Being a dad was the best thing to ever happen to him, after meeting Susie, of course. He hadn’t a single regret about leaving the game when he did, even if many had predicted he would regret punching out after winning his third Super Bowl. He’d gone out on top, on his own terms, and regrets were a waste of time.
After he helped get Susie and the kids settled in the two-story “guesthouse” on the Logler estate, he kissed her and told her he’d be back as soon as he could.
“I’m going to give Nancy a call,” Susie said of Toad’s wife.
“I’m sure she’d love that.”
“Be careful, you hear me? If he’s at that hunting cabin he loves so much, he’s got guns there.”
“He’s not going to shoot me,” Ryan said, smiling. “Don’t worry.”
“I will worry until you get back.”
“It could be tomorrow if he’s obstinate.”
“I know. I’ve got things covered here, and Martha said she’d help. Don’t worry about us.”
He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “When I get back, I want to head to Breckenridge ASAP and make love to my wife in our favorite spot in front of the fire.”
“Yes, please.”
Ryan kissed her again. “It’s a date.”
Duke drove him into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, following directions Nancy had given them.
“When did he buy this place?”
“Beginning of last season. From what I hear, it’s not much, but it has potential.”
“Sounds like my place in Breckenridge when we first bought it. The definition of the term fixer upper.”
“Sure is beautiful now.”
“We love it.” After a pause, Ryan said, “There’s a good chance that’s all this is with Toad.”
Duke glanced over at him. “How do you mean?”
“A hidden gem in need of some fixing up.”
“I don’t know… If he hadn’t been so spot-on last season and into camp this year, I might agree with you, but it’s something else. Wish I knew what, but he’s shut everyone out. That’s why we called you. Desperate times and all that…” Duke drove slowly until he found the mailbox he was looking for. “This is it,” he said, taking a right turn.
They drove up a winding road with twists and turns that would be harrowing in the heart of winter and pulled up to a post-and-beam-style cabin surrounded by evergreens and aspens. It was, as Duke had said, a beautiful spot even if the cabin was a work in progress. Like its owner. Toad’s large Chevy truck was parked outside.
Ryan eyed the cabin. “What’s the game plan, Coach?”
“I’ll wait out here while you go in. Take your time. I brought a book and snacks.”
“Well, here goes nothing.”
“Good luck, Sandy.”
Ryan got out of Duke’s SUV and made his way to the cabin’s front door. Making a fist, he pounded on the wood door. “Toad! Open up!” He pounded
some more. No answer. Moving to a window to his left, Ryan cupped his hands around his eyes and looked inside. Toad was out cold on the sofa with empty bottles scattered about on the floor.
He turned to report to Duke, who’d put down the window. “He’s been drinking.”
“Great…”
Ryan opened the door and stepped inside, taking a second for his eyes to adjust to the inky darkness. It was freezing in there, so the first thing he did was turn on a light and fire up the woodstove. Then he went to the sofa, kicking empty bottles out of the way, and tried to shake Toad awake.
He didn’t stir, but his chest rose and fell, which was a welcome relief.
Ryan slapped Toad’s cheek. Still nothing. “Toad! Wake up!”
The other man grunted, turned away from Ryan and let out a loud snore.
“Toad!” Ryan shook him until he came to, blinking and then doing a double take when he realized who was bothering him.
“Sandy?” Toad sat up slowly, wincing as he ran his hands through dark hair that stood on end. His brown eyes were rimmed with red, and he projected a weariness that hadn’t been there the last time Ryan had seen him. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
“From Texas?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“People are worried about you.”
Toad scoffed. “What people are worried about me?”
“Duke, Chet, your teammates, your wife, to start with.”
“You can tell them all I’m fine. I just wanted a little time to myself. That’s allowed, right?”
“Of course it is, but this is more than that, and we both know it.” Ryan sat across from him, arms on his knees. “I’m not leaving until we get to the bottom of what’s going on with you.”
“There’s nothing going on with me. I’m having a shitty season. It happens.”
Ryan only raised a brow. It didn’t happen like this—not at their level, and not after the season he’d had last year. Except in rare instances, professional quarterbacks didn’t make Pop Warner-level mistakes. Not every week, anyway. With the way Toad had been playing lately, Ryan wouldn’t have chosen him for a pickup game, let alone the pros.
