by Sybil Bartel
His arms tight around me, his face against my neck, his lips touched my ear. “Believe it.” He kissed me once. “Hold on.” Standing to his full height, he lifted me off the ground and gracefully, effortlessly stepped onto the yacht.
SHE SPUN AROUND IN A circle with her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe it.” She traced the edge of the quartz countertop in the galley. “This is beautiful.” She looked back at me. “So beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.” I grabbed her bag and took her hand and headed down the few steps to the cabin. “Come.”
She gasped when she saw the room. “This is a full-sized bedroom.” She took in everything like she’d never been on a boat. “This is bigger than your room growing up.”
Internally, I snorted. “Much.” Twice as big.
She scanned the cabin again. “I can’t believe you live here.” Her eyes met mine again. “This must have been expensive.”
I stiffened at her implication. “I have money, Sanaa.” I’d saved every damn cent when I was active duty, and the first year working for Luna, I took all the hours I could get and invested my earnings. I didn’t have near what she had, but the boat was paid for.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I just….” She glanced at the large flat-screen on the wall. “It’s lovely. You’ve done really well for yourself, Ronan.”
I didn’t want to have this fucking conversation, but I also didn’t want it hanging over my head. “I don’t make what you do, not even close. But if you decided to walk away from all of your money, I’m more than capable of supporting you.”
Her eyes went wide. “No, please, you misunderstand. I wasn’t implying that you couldn’t. It’s just….” She waved her hand around, then she laughed with embarrassment. “It’s hard to forget where I come from when I’m with you. The past and the present seem to blend into one, and I was honestly looking around at everything through the eyes of a girl who grew up on the streets in Trinidad. Ten years ago, I could not have imagined this to be your life.” She smiled shyly. “You really did do well for yourself, Ronan. I’m happy for you.”
Uncomfortable with the compliment, especially coming from her, I didn’t reply. I also had to admit that ten years ago I couldn’t have imagined her life either. “I’ll start the shower.” Stepping past her, my mood suddenly shit, I walked into the head.
“How long have you had the boat?” she asked, calling after me.
I didn’t give her eye contact, and I didn’t correct her. “I commissioned it nineteen months ago and took possession eleven months after that.” But I’d been on a waiting list for a slip in this marina for five years. I turned the water on and stepped out of the glass-enclosed shower.
She stood by the door. “There’s even a bench built into the shower.” She glanced around the head.
I didn’t tell her I’d had it added, or that I’d specified the shower be built to accommodate two people. I was pissed about her comment about the cost of the Carver, and I didn’t like that the exchange of power was slipping to her court because of the size of a fucking bank account. I especially didn’t like it when it was the two of us alone.
I made to step past her to run back up to the galley to get us a couple of waters, but she stopped me with a hand on my arm. “What’s wrong?”
The sudden urge to throw her against the wall and pin her arms was so goddamn overwhelming, I fisted my hands. This wasn’t how I imagined having her here would go. I wasn’t going to discuss money with her or the cost of the Carver or any other bullshit. I could take care of her. Not in a lifestyle with private jets or five-figure outfits, but she’d never go hungry or be without.
Her face pinched with concern, she stroked my arm. “Please, tell me what I did wrong.”
The fact that she thought she did something wrong only made me angrier. “Get undressed and get in the shower. I’ll be back in a minute.” I didn’t wait to see if she complied.
I got the fuck out of there.
Except I didn’t go the galley. I kept fucking moving until I was on the deck, pacing, and a figure stepped out the shadows on the dock.
Ty snorted. “You look like I fucking feel.”
“Yeah, how’s that?”
He smirked. “Like you need to smoke something or shoot something.”
“I don’t do drugs.”
He snorted out a laugh. “I’m talking about a fucking cigarette, not weed. I don’t fuck with that shit.” He nodded toward the boat. “How’s the famous singer?”
For a second, I didn’t know if he was being a dick or honestly asking.
“She looked pretty thrown when you brought her out,” he added.
I glanced back toward the galley to see if she’d followed before looking back at Ty. “She’s fine.” I was the one who was fucked-up.
“And you?” he asked.
I didn’t discuss personal shit with anyone. Not when I was younger, not in the Marines and not now. But I was fucked in the head enough tonight to open my mouth. “What do you think her net worth is?”
Ty laughed. “More than we’ll make in a hundred lifetimes.”
That’s what I was afraid of.
“But who fucking cares?” Ty shrugged. “Fuck her, feed her, treat her right.”
I didn’t know if it was the most appalling thing I’d ever heard him say or the best worst advice I’d ever gotten. I decided on neither. “She’s not a dog.”
He shrugged again. “She’s also not shacked up for the night with your brother or any other sorry loser. So count your fucking blessings. And for the record, your brother has a screw loose.”
Like Ty didn’t, but I didn’t argue the point. “Any paparazzi out there?”
“No.” Ty glanced up the dock. “Pussies are afraid of a little wind. It’s been quiet.” He looked back at me. “Can’t say what daybreak will bring though.” He scanned the marina. “Long-term, this isn’t a secure place to bring someone with her level of fame.”
Which was the exact other shit revelation I was stressing over. “I know.”
Ty nodded. “Good. Just making sure you’re not thinking with your dick, because the second word gets out she’s here, it’ll be like flies on shit. The water access alone will be a nightmare to contain.”
Fuck. “You’re not making me feel better.”
“Didn’t know it was in my job description.”
“It’s not.” Ty took some getting used to, but I appreciated his candor.
He smirked. “Glad we got that sorted. Now quit being a pussy and get back inside.”
I shook my head and palmed the handle on the slider.
“Nice boat, by the way. Didn’t know you lived here.”
“Not a boat,” I corrected. “Yacht.” I stepped inside and closed the door on Ty’s sardonic laugh.
Grabbing two waters, I headed back to the cabin and set the bottles down to strip. Then I stared at the gorgeous woman in my shower who was turned away from me, and I realized how right Ty was.
I did need to count my fucking blessings.
She was here.
My Songbird.
And I wasn’t letting her go. Not again.
Stepping into the shower behind her, I swept her wet hair over her shoulder and away from her neck.
She startled, but then she leaned back into me and looked up. “Hi.”
Her eyelashes wet, her hair slicked back, water raining down on her bare breasts, she was so goddamn beautiful. My cock hard just looking at her, it took every ounce of control I had not to bend her over the bench and sink inside her tight cunt. “You’re mine.”
Her arm came up and she grasped the back of my neck. “Since the first day I saw you.”
I admitted a truth. “I don’t want to share you.”
Frowning, she dropped her arm and turned to face me. “You don’t have to.”
“When we’re alone, no I don’t. But beyond these decks, I do.” And I needed to reconcile that. Fast.
I put my fingers over her lips. “You won’t do anything except be yourself. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Her hands landed on my biceps, and I liked how she always reached for me there. Whether she realized it or not, she was reaching for my strength. And that’s exactly what I wanted to be for her. Her strength.
She pulled her lips between her teeth, then spoke in a rush. “I have an agent and manager and assistants who take care of…” One of her hands fluttered through the air. “The business side.”
“I’m not talking about your career. I’m not going to interfere with that unless you want or need me to.” I grasped her chin. “I’m talking about us. About you.”
Her muscles relaxed and she leaned into me, but she bit her lip. “Okay.”
Her body, her voice, her easy submission to me, it made my cock rock-fucking-hard, and I wanted her tightness around me. More, I wanted her falling apart from my touch. Using my thumb, I released her lip from the hold of her teeth. “Only I get to bite these full lips, Songbird.” I leaned down to kiss her.
She turned her head. “I have to tell you some things before… before we go any further.”
FIGHTING NOT TO TENSE MY muscles, I rose to my full height and stilled. “What things?”
“You know this was all my fault,” she whispered.
“Stop it.” With a gentle hand, I held her hair under the water.
Her eyes suddenly haunted, she looked up at me. “I was the one who told Kyle that you and Vance were twins.”
“It’s over. It doesn’t matter now.” And Abernathy saw both me and Vance that night before I beat him unconscious.
“No,” she insisted. “I have to speak.”
I didn’t want to hear what she needed to get off her chest, but I also wasn’t going to deny her anything. She was alive, she was here, and I was fucking grateful. “You’re under no obligation to tell me anything.” I grabbed the shampoo, lathered some in my hands and began washing her hair. So many years wasted I could’ve been doing this exact thing.
“I want to.” Her hands held my arms tighter.
I hated the duress in her voice. “This can wait.”
“No.” Defying me with a slight shake of her head, something she wouldn’t have done a decade ago, she began to speak. “That next day, after that night, Vance took me to Leo’s office. He’d made a deal with him. He told Leo I would still fulfill my contract if Leo made Kyle go away, and I guess Leo believed him, but what neither of them knew was that I would’ve shown up anyway. I had time booked in the recording studio and they already had songs lined up for me and I wanted to sing. I was young and naïve, yes, but I knew any contract with Trinity would be my ticket out of poverty.” She looked up at me with the weight of a ten-year-old guilt. “You can understand that, can’t you?”
I grasped the side of her face. “You don’t have to justify signing that contract.” It was past time that we got all of this out, once and for all. “It wasn’t your fault that Abernathy and his assistant were opportunistic pieces of shit. Unfortunately for them, they told the wrong person their intentions. I don’t regret defending you, and I’d do it again. Without hesitation. As far as the contract, even if I’d never met Abernathy, I still would’ve been angry about it because I was, and still am, protective of you. But I would’ve gotten over it eventually. Then I would’ve asked Vance to go with you for any meetings or negotiations while I was away.” Her grandmother was already on her deathbed back then.
Her cheeks colored with embarrassment or guilt. I didn’t know which. “Vance told me you asked him to look after me while you were deployed.”
Inhaling through a wave of anger toward my brother, I nodded. “I did.” Before the fuck had taken advantage of her.
Her eyes welled. “I need to apologize, one more time, for me. Then I promise I won’t bring it up anymore.” She inhaled. “I’m so very sorry. I should’ve known it wasn’t you that night.”
I didn’t want to hold her accountable, and I didn’t want to fucking punish her anymore like I did before. I just wanted to be inside her. I wanted to claim the fuck out of her.
Except I couldn’t completely own her, not yet. She was right to bring this up. I couldn’t fully dominate her and get her complete submission until I absolved both of us of the past. “Apology accep—”
Her hand shot up and covered my lips. Dripping water, she pressed. “No. You have to hear the rest.”
Hunger surged, mixing with the last of the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, and my cock hardened to the point of pain. This woman, pressing her hand over my mouth, silencing me, this was the grown version of my Songbird, and it woke something deep.
I no longer wanted to caress every inch of her body and show her how grateful I was as I washed her hair and dried her off. I didn’t want to carry her to bed and make love to her. I wanted to grip her hair, restrain her hands, and feed my cock down her throat.
I wanted to hear what song she would sing for me when I was too deep for her to swallow.
But her hand was still pressed against my mouth, and I was perversely enjoying it.
With a nip of my teeth, I caught her wrist. “Continue.”
Inhaling sharply, her gaze cut to my mouth before coming back to my eyes. “A couple of weeks after you deployed, I was in the studio and Kyle showed up.”
Without thought, my grip on her wrist tightened. That exact scenario was one I’d wanted to protect her from even before she’d signed. She’d been a seventeen-year-old siren in a woman’s body. She was beautiful then and she was stunning now, but her innocence ten years ago was compelling.
Reading my reaction, sensing the path my thoughts were taking, she took my free hand in hers. “Nothing happened. But I made a mistake that day.”
“We both made mistakes.”
She brought my hand to her mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Please listen.”
I nodded once.
She searched my face, then she told me the rest of it. “Vance had driven me to the studio. It was raining that day, and he hadn’t enlisted yet.”
I never should’ve asked him to look out for her.
As if seeing the downturn of my thoughts, she shook her head. “Nothing more ever happened between us. I swear on my mother’s and grandmother’s graves.”
I didn’t give a fuck about her swearing or the truth of her statement, I gave a fuck about the fact that I hadn’t been there. That if we’d stayed together, I wouldn’t have been there. Not for that, not for any of the times she’d needed me, and probably not for our children. I’d planned on a career in the Marines, as far as it would take me, but the stark reality of that commitment was hitting me now.
I wouldn’t have been there.
“Vance happened to walk me in that day, and he was there when Kyle showed. I don’t know, maybe Kyle had been waiting to see him. Either way, Kyle stormed in, and he made a show of it. He said he was going to kill Vance, and he was acting crazy, and the producer called security, but before they got there, Kyle kept yelling and Vance just stood there. He had this smug look on his face like he wasn’t bothered in the least. In fact, he told him to keep it up. He said he wouldn’t see a cent of the money if he tried anything, and I realized then Leo had paid or was paying him, but still Vance wasn’t defending himself or you, and I don’t know.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “I just, I got upset. Very upset.” Her gaze dropped, and she let go of my hand. “So I told him Vance wasn’t my boyfriend. That he’d never hit him because he had the wrong brother.” She looked up at me. “I told him you were twins,” she admitted in an anguished whisper. “I said your name, and I said he’d never find you because you’d deployed. And that’s why he came after all of us.”
“Are you finished?”
She blinked.
“Close your eyes.” I leaned her head back under the spray and rinsed her hair. Then I pulled
her back to me and brushed the water from her face. “Listen very carefully,” I commanded. “Because I’m only going to say this once.”
Biting her lip again, she nodded.
“We’re both going to let this go. We’re alive. We’re together. Abernathy doesn’t get any more head space from either one of us, and neither does the past. Understand?”
Inhaling deeply, keeping her eyes on me and her hands on my arms, she nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.” I reached behind her and shut off the water. Then I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.
Looking small and exhausted and unsure, her eyes searched mine. “Are you sure we’re okay?”
I grabbed a towel for myself, but I didn’t answer.
No words were going to reassure her. This wasn’t about the past anymore, or unspoken reassurances or outdated apologies. This was about commitment, and there was only one way to show her that.
My eyes on hers, I dropped my towel. Then I pulled hers away.
She sucked in a sharp breath and made to cross her arms over her breasts, but stopped herself.
Dropping to one knee, keeping my eyes on hers, I inhaled the scent of her desire then I kissed her sweet cunt.
A shiver ran up her body and her hands landed on my shoulders. Looking down at me with trust, but also with insecurity, she spread her legs.
Her show of submission like a straight shot of adrenaline to my system, I tongued her clit.
Her eyes fluttered shut and I slid a finger inside to test her wetness, but I didn’t need to. She was already soaked for me.
Reluctant to take my mouth off her just yet, I forced myself to anyway, because this wasn’t about dominance right now.
Standing to my full height and picking her up, I issued a command. “Legs around my waist, arms around my neck and eyes on me.”
No hesitation, she complied.
I carried her to the bed, except I didn’t set her down. I stood there with our bodies touching but not connected, and I held her gaze.
Then I let her see me.
Every wasted year, every woman after her, every mistake I ever made, including the biggest one. I let my Songbird see it all, then I gave her the truth of my conviction.
