“I will,” I promised.
When I heard the knock on the door, my initial gut reaction was heart-stopping terror. Despite the pain, I struggled to catch a breath and started trembling. I knew it was illogical. After everything they’d found at the church, plus my testimony and Ethan’s testimony – as well as the testimony of other people who had started to come forward with their own allegations of abuse – my father’s bail had been revoked. There was no possible way it could be him on the other side of that door. But Marie had warned me about this. She’d told me that there was nothing logical about anxiety and that it was completely normal after a trauma like I’d been through.
“Darla?” my mom called through the door.
I immediately relaxed and pushed through the pain as I stood up and walked over to let her in. As soon as I shut the door behind her, I just threw myself into her arms as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. She returned the hug, rubbing my back and running her fingers through my hair.
God, would I ever stop crying? I knew being irrationally emotional was normal during pregnancy, but this was ridiculous.
“You up for some lunch, sweetheart?” my mom murmured.
I nodded as I pulled back and looked at her, wiping my eyes. “Does the crying ever stop?”
She chuckled. “Nope. Not even after you have the baby. What did the doctor say?”
“They said it looks like I’m about eight weeks along and they want me to take it easy for a little while, but everything looks good, considering,” I sighed, sniffling. “Please tell me you didn’t plan on ordering pizza.”
She chuckled and brushed some of my hair off of my shoulder, a few tears filling her eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?”
“Take it up with the baby,” I said with a shrug. “She decided she didn’t like it.”
She smiled and picked a cooler that I just now noticed she’d brought in off the floor, heading toward the table. I started to go to the cupboards to grab plates, but I groaned as I tried to stand on my toes to reach them.
“I’ve got it, sweetheart,” she said quickly, putting a hand on my back. “Just tell me where everything is.”
“Plates and cups are in this cupboard. Silverware is in the drawer next to the stove,” I sighed in relief.
Walking back to the table, I pulled my phone out and sent Brendan a quick text to tell him my mom had gotten here. My mom walked back to the table with a couple of butter knives and plates, then proceeded to pull everything we needed to make sandwiches out of the cooler before opening a cold can of ginger ale and handing it to me.
“I know ginger ale’s not your favorite, but trust me, it helps with the nausea,” she said with a small smile. “I brought you some crystallized ginger too. It takes some getting used to, but I swore by it when I was pregnant with you.”
This was just awkward. I felt like my mom and I were just tiptoeing around the obvious conversation that we both knew we had to have: why I’d gotten pregnant before Brendan and I were married. It was like neither one of us wanted to bring it up, even though we both knew one of us had to.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I reached for the soda with my left hand and took a sip.
“Oh!” she gasped. “Let me see your ring!”
I put my drink down and held out my hand. An ear-splitting grin spread across her face as she looked at my engagement ring and ran her finger over the diamonds.
“It’s perfect,” she sniffled.
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed with a smile.
“It’s so strange that you’re getting married and I don’t know anything about your relationship. You never got to tell me about any of your firsts.” Her voice broke as she sat down and started to spread mayonnaise on a piece of bread. “Your first kiss. Your first ‘I love you.’ I don’t even know how he proposed or when you’re getting married.”
“We’re actually holding off on that for a few months,” I told her. “The original plan was to get married as soon as I turned eighteen, but that’s not as important now.” A lump rose in my throat, and I swallowed it down as I continued. “I don’t want to get married while I’m in so much pain that I won’t even be able to enjoy the ceremony or dance with Brendan during the reception. And Kate and Ash, who you met at the hospital, are moving to New York for college, and I can’t get married without them. They’re my best friends besides Naomi. So I asked Brendan if it was okay if we waited until their Christmas break so they can come back down here, and he said he doesn’t care when it happens as long as it’s before the baby’s born.”
She smiled. “Good. Then we have some time to find you a dress.”
I couldn’t take this anymore. I didn’t want to spend the next few hours until Brendan got home making awkward small talk with my mom because neither one of us was brave enough to bring up the obvious subject.
I’d been taught abstinence before marriage for my whole life, ever since I could remember. Since before I was old enough to really understand what it meant. And my mom might have been just as much of a victim as I was where my father was concerned, but she still read the same Bible I did. Now, here I was, seventeen, not yet married, and eight weeks pregnant. What did she think of me?
“Mom, are you disappointed in me?” I asked, my voice breaking as tears stung my eyes.
She immediately put down the half-made sandwich in her hand and pulled her chair around the table so she could sit next to me, pulling me into her arms. I blinked back even more tears as I let her hold me and comb her fingers through my hair.
“Oh, Darla,” she whispered. “No, sweetheart. I’m not even a little bit disappointed in you. I have known for a very long time that Brendan’s your forever. You didn’t give yourself to someone you didn’t care about. You gave yourself to someone who’s done nothing but love and protect you for your whole life. Someone you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life with. I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law, or a better father for my grandchild. I’m scared for you, because I know it’s not going to be easy for you to raise a child while you’re going to college full-time, but I know you can do it. And I can’t wait to meet my granddaughter.”
I chuckled. “That’s three votes for it being a girl. Brendan thinks so too. We don’t get to find out for sure for a few more months, though.”
“A mother knows,” she said with a small smile. “I knew you were a girl from the moment I found out I was pregnant. So, do I get to ask you about him? I know it’s probably a few years too late for boy talk, but we’ve never gotten to talk about him at all.”
And there went the waterworks again. She was right. She knew I was head over heels in love with Brendan, and she knew that I was pregnant with his child and that we were getting married in a few months, but she didn’t know anything at all about my relationship with him. How backward was that?
I nodded and took a deep breath as I wiped my cheeks. “Of course. What do you want to know?”
“Tell me about your first kiss,” she said as she stood up and grabbed the sandwich supplies from the other side of the table.
“Do you mean the real first kiss or the practice first kiss?” I giggled. “Because he’d say the first time he kissed me – actually, the first two times he kissed me – were just practice.”
She laughed. “What?”
I chuckled and sniffled at the same time, then told her all about what had happened at the homecoming dance in my freshman year and what happened that Monday in the carpentry room when we officially became a couple. And we just kept talking about everything. Everything she’d missed out on over the past few years. It wasn’t all about Brendan, either. I also told her about how I met Kate and Ashton and what amazing friends they’d been to me, and about how scared I’d been when Ashton was jumped by those kids in our sophomore year and when Kate passed out and we found out she was diabetic.
Before I knew it, I heard a key turning in the lock, and Brendan walked in the door, smiling when he saw my mom and I s
itting on the couch.
“Hey, baby,” he said as he walked toward us. “Hi, Miss Gloria.”
“You’re about to be my son-in-law, Brendan. I think we can drop the ‘Miss,’” my mom chuckled.
“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckled too.
He bent over to give me a kiss, and I started to return it, but the second I caught a whiff of…er, eau de construction site…my stomach turned. I shot up from the couch, ignoring the screaming protests of my ribs as I rushed to the bathroom and gave up an offering to the porcelain goddess.
I heard Brendan’s chuckling coming from the bedroom as I stood up and flushed the toilet. I grabbed my toothbrush cup and rinsed it out, then filled it with some water and took a drink before walking out. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, and his lips were twitching like he was fighting a smile.
“I love you, but you need to get in the shower before you try to come within three feet of me again,” I told him. “You smell like a dirty construction site and the baby doesn’t like it.”
That did it. He fell backward on the bed laughing, and I wished I had a pillow or something to throw at him. He wasn’t the one who had to deal with the random bouts of nausea.
“Yeah, laugh it up,” I grumped.
“Sorry, baby,” he chuckled as he got up, stopping on his way to the bathroom to plant a kiss on my head. “I’m getting in the shower right now. Peter and Marie are going to be here soon anyway.”
Brendan had just gotten out of the shower when the knock came on the door. He answered it, and when Peter and Marie walked in, the smell of marinara sauce and meatballs wafted through the room, making my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten much this morning, and I’d only managed to get down about half of my sandwich at lunch. This perpetual nausea thing was for the birds.
“Hi, ladies,” Marie said, flashing my mom and I a smile. “Brendan warned us no pizza, and I figured you probably hadn’t had a home-cooked meal since you got home from the hospital, Darla, so I thought I’d make spaghetti and meatballs.”
“It smells amazing,” I told her. “Thanks. Sorry we all have to huddle around the little table.”
“We’ll make it work,” Peter said. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired and in pain, but okay,” I admitted. “I’m just relieved the OBGYN gave the baby and I both a cleanish bill of health.”
“That’s amazing,” Marie said. “No bed rest?”
“Nope. She still wants me to take it easy, but it’s not an official order. But I’m also nursing two broken ribs, so I’m not doing much of anything anyway.”
“Well, the good news is, I made enough food to feed a small army, so you two will have some leftovers for a few days. That’ll make it a little easier on you.”
“Thank you,” I sighed as I lowered myself into a chair at the table. “Um, Mom, didn’t you put the rest of that ginger ale in the fridge?”
“I did. I’ve got it, sweetheart. And Brendan, this is not for you. Get your own soda,” she said sternly as she pulled a can of ginger ale out of the refrigerator and opened it for me. “It’s to help with her nausea.”
Brendan chuckled as he reached for some plates and silverware and carried them over to the table. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll leave it alone. I promise.”
“Right answer,” Marie laughed. “You do not come between a pregnant woman and her nausea cures. Peter learned that the hard way.”
“How was I supposed to know that ginger snaps were the magic cure for morning sickness?” he snickered.
After Marie got the spaghetti and garlic bread all dished out and we’d all figured out how to huddle around the tiny card table that Brendan and I used for a kitchen table, Peter said grace and we dug in. We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.
“So, I met with the church elders this afternoon,” he started. “I couldn’t say anything officially until I talked to them, but they’re going to recommend to the congregation that I take your father’s place.”
I grinned. “I was hoping you would.”
He smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. But that’s only half of what I wanted to talk to you both about. My promotion means that there’s a vacancy in the youth pastor department now.” He looked at Brendan. “Brendan, I recommended you for the job, if you want it. You’ll have to interview with them, but they’re open to giving you a trial run for a couple of months to see if you’re a good fit. And if you are, we’d hire you on and provide tuition assistance for you to go to school and get your youth ministry degree.”
Brendan’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, and I would have loved to see my face too. Honestly, though, as much as it wasn’t even remotely similar to the job he was doing now, that job was a perfect fit for him. Especially at our church, because all the kids already knew and loved him, and we all knew how good he was with kids.
“Um, can I think about it?” he asked after about ten seconds.
“Of course,” Peter assured him. “Fred was going to talk to you on Sunday.”
“Would I still be able to keep my hours at the construction company during the trial run? I can’t afford to quit and not get paid until the decision is made.”
“We know that, and they’ll talk through a schedule with you. I’m sure we can work something out.”
Brendan nodded, still looking a little shell-shocked. “I’m not going to lie, the regular hours would be amazing, since Darla’s still planning on going to college. It’ll mean I can be home with her and the baby most nights.”
“Speaking of home…Gloria, I overheard you and Brendan talking at the hospital,” Marie said, giving my mom a sympathetic glance. “I had to use the restroom, and you were standing close by. I heard you say something about how you’re concerned about making your mortgage payment now.”
My mom’s eyes started to tear up, and my eyes stung too. I remembered her saying a long time ago that one of the reasons she couldn’t say anything about what my dad was doing to us was that she couldn’t afford to support us if he was arrested. But now, she hadn’t had a choice but to speak up, and she was still living on just her disability check. I hadn’t even thought about that until now.
“I’m still looking into options, but I’m thinking about selling the house,” she sniffled. “Maybe see if I can find a small apartment or something. I can’t do anything until the divorce is final, though. The house is still in both Abraham and I’s names. Oliver Hart talked to me about taking my case pro bono because I know it’s not going to be as simple as asking him to sign the papers. He’s not going to want to let me go.”
“We might have a solution for you,” Marie told her. “Peter and I have a mother-in-law suite on our property that’s going unused at the moment. You’re welcome to stay there until you can get on your feet and maybe find something smaller. Then you’d be able to rent out the house.”
My mom covered a gasp with her hand as her tears flowed more freely, and I wrapped my arm around her and leaned my head against her shoulder. I’d always loved Peter and Marie, and I’d always known they were uncommonly kind and giving people, but to actually give my mother a place to stay was above and beyond the call of duty for them.
“Sweetheart, what would you think about moving back into the house?” she asked, looking at me. “You’re going to need to find somewhere to live that has a little more space before the baby comes, and I’d much rather rent the house out to you and Brendan than someone I don’t know.”
I paused for a second, considering. I had a lot of traumatic memories attached to that house. My father had done some horrible, unspeakable things to me and my mom there. But at the same time, I had a lot of good memories there too. Memories I’d made with my mom and Brendan and Naomi.
Maybe if we moved back into that house and made it our home instead of just the house I grew up in, we could turn it into a house full of love and faith and hope and joy and acceptance. We could erase the ghosts of the past there and make a brighter future for ourselves and our child.
“How much would the rent be?” Brendan asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“I wouldn’t want to make a profit off of you,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I’d just want you covering the mortgage, which is a little over seven hundred a month.”
“Baby, that’s not much more than our rent now,” he pointed out. “And I don’t think we’ve got room for a crib here. I’ll just have to scrape some money together to get out of our lease.”
I nodded as I wiped my eyes. “Yeah, I think it’s a good plan. We wouldn’t be able to find anything else nearly that big on our budget.”
Brendan squeezed my arm. “Okay. I’ll talk to the complex and see what it’ll take to get out of the lease.”
For the first time since we’d come home from the hospital, I actually felt hope bubbling up inside me again. Hope that maybe, just maybe, things might actually work out for us.
“Baby, I want you to be honest with me,” Brendan said as he climbed into bed and pulled me into his arms, enveloping me in a cocoon-like embrace. “Are you really okay with moving back into your parents’ house? I feel like your mom and I kind of put you on the spot earlier.”
I sighed, burrowing myself further into his arms. “I’m not going to lie and say it’s going to be easy, but that house doesn’t hold all bad memories for me. I made a lot of good memories with my mom there, and I made a lot of good memories with you and Nay there too. And I think we can chase away the ghosts of the past and make it a home full of love and happiness instead of fear and pain.”
He pulled back just enough to kiss me on the forehead, and I tilted my chin up for a real kiss, which he all-too-willingly gave me.
“What do you think about me taking the job at the church?” he asked.
“Is it what you want?”
“I think so? I don’t know. I’ve just been so focused on making sure that I can provide for you that I’ve never really thought about anything else. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like my job, but it’s long hours and weird schedules sometimes. I’ve just gotten lucky that I’ve had semi-normal hours with the past couple of projects. And I want to support you financially while you’re getting your education degree, but I also want to be here for you. I want to make sure that you don’t feel like you’re raising this baby all by yourself while you’re also going to school full-time,” he mused.
My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss) Page 42
