by Trim, Brenda
“I wish you’d told me what was happening.” Like you should be telling Fiona and Aislinn about your issues. I ignored my inner voice and focused on my kids. “You shouldn’t have been going through any of this alone. I imagine you were terrified, which will only make matters worse. The important thing to remember when your magic gets away from you is to remain calm. Agitation will exacerbate your power, and it can get out of control fast.”
That was a good reminder for me. I needed to maintain my composure when things went sideways for me. Only then would I be able to avert a disaster. I wanted to dismiss the issue entirely and trust it was just a matter of adjusting to the influx of power from Fiona. The problem was I could feel something inside, eating at me and corrupting my magic.
“You’re right. I should have trusted you. And I promise I won’t keep anything from you in the future. Want to see the apartment we found?” Bailey’s teary eyes held hope and doubt. I hadn’t been paying attention to my kids at all lately. They told me they wanted to move to the States, and I had been fighting with Dathan ever since.
At some point along the way, they’d changed their mind because Bailey’s magic was frightening her. I never noticed the stress that was written all over her face. And had missed their discussions over where they wanted to live that was close but not in this house. Mother of the year, that’s me.
Ben jumped up and grabbed his laptop, then brought it over to me. My stomach twisted when he showed me the apartment in London. It wasn’t far from where they’d been held hostage.
“It’s on the small side, but it has two bedrooms and is affordable. We’ve already applied to Birkbeck. I’ve already found a job. I could start this weekend." Ben’s face was shuttered.
He was expecting me to tell him no, that it was too soon. My gut reaction was to deny the request. I needed time to adjust. I had to keep the reasons it was a bad idea from spiraling out of control. My kids needed this. It was my job as their parent to shove them out of the nest when they were ready, regardless of what I wanted.
I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Boy, you guys don’t mess around, do you? This place looks great. There’s even a fireplace. That’ll be nice during cold winters. These older buildings never have adequate heating. Have you showed dad yet?”
The twins shared a look then both shook their heads. Bailey bit her lip, her eyes taking on a pleading look that always melted my resolve. I wasn’t surprised by what came out of her mouth next. “We were hoping you would tell him the good news. Maybe after we move in this Saturday. It would be a much happier event if he wasn’t involved.”
“You’ve already signed a contract?” They both recoiled from my sharp tone.
Gone was the understanding mother that wanted to support her kids in their bid for independence. In her place was the woman fretting over everything that could happen to them. I wasn’t ready for them to move out. I thought I had another month at least.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sorry. You know I worry. I can't help who I am, and I promise to try and keep my concerns to myself as long as you promise to call me daily.”
Bailey hugged me from one side and Ben from the other. “Of course, mom. And, we’ll be home on weekends to do our laundry.”
I laughed at Ben’s honesty. “I have no doubt you will. Now let’s see what we need to pick up for you guys.”
The knot in my gut eased as I saw the excitement build in my kids as they talked through their plans. I was surprised they wanted to take some of the blankets in the house and their beds. I expected them to want new ones.
I was always going to worry, but things could be worse. They could be half a world away, making it impossible for me to cast wards around their home or check on them regularly. I was beyond grateful for their change of heart. And, now, the arguing with Dathan could stop. He would be pleased, as well.
* * *
Tears threatened to fall, and emotion choked me as I carried another box up the stairs to the second-floor apartment. My kids were moving out. I was no longer responsible for their every move. They weren’t under my roof where I could help keep them safe.
Fiona’s hand landed on my shoulder as she descended the stairs. “It’s going to be alright, Vi. They’re still close enough for you to visit often. That will help while you all adjust to living apart. And, if they want to move to North Carolina next year, you will be better prepared.”
“Does it get any easier? You seem to handle living so far from them very well.” Fiona wasn’t a worrier like me. She was a mother hen, though, so I still would have expected her to struggle with having them across the pond.
“It eventually moves to the back of your mind, so you can function without it consuming you. It took Emmie threatening to never speak to me again for me to stop calling five and six times a day.” Fiona’s laugh was a welcome sound. I couldn’t wait to get to that point.
“I don’t know how I’m going to drive home and leave them here. Bailey’s magic is getting away from her. The last thing they need is to burn an entire apartment complex down.” My mind conjured a million other scenarios in rapid-fire succession. Within seconds my chest was rising and falling faster than the stock market after a global pandemic, and I couldn’t catch my breath.
Fiona’s warm hand stopped the cycle of potential violence running through my head. “Hey. Don’t go there. It’s going to be alright. We can spell their apartment to be shielded when we cast the wards. That will provide a barrier her magic can’t breakthrough, right?”
I considered her suggestion. It was the best alternative to being there myself. “That will work. And, it will protect Ben, too. Mages take longer to develop their power, and it usually doesn’t give them the same problems it does girls, but he might have problems, as well.”
Bailey came bounding down the stairs with a bright smile on her face. “I can’t believe Sebastian carried that old sofa by himself. It weighed a ton.”
Fiona released me and laughed. “Don’t tell him that. It will give him an even bigger ego. His head might not fit through the door, and you’d be stuck with him.”
I shook my head and continued on my way to the apartment with a smile on my face. The door was open, and Ben and Bas were standing there admiring their work. The living room was a mess of boxes along the far wall with the sofa. The ones Aislinn had given them were on the opposite side.
Aislinn walked out of one of the rooms along the short hallway. She looked better today. Thankfully, she’d lost the ‘I’m gonna vomit’ shade to her skin. “Is that another box for the bathroom?”
I lifted the cardboard in my hand and scanned the black ink on the side. “No. This one is for the kitchen.”
“I’ll unpack it while you guys grab some more.” We were all glad Aislinn was there helping, and I was relieved she looked better. But I still wondered if she was back to her old self. It was impossible to tell. She’d been quiet during the drive over and had carried several loads up then offered to unpack instead.
“The kids will be ready to entertain at the rate we’re going,” Fiona said as she walked in behind me.
Bailey, who was right behind her, laughed and crossed to the kitchen. “If we had any food, I would offer to make you all dinner for helping us.”
Aislinn took the box from Bailey. “You can cook?”
Bailey’s cheeks turned pink. “Do roast beef butties count?”
“They definitely count,” Bas told her. He usually wore a glower, making it difficult to determine his mood. Since meeting and falling in love with Fiona, he had lost the perma-scowl and most often held a neutral expression. Sometimes he even smiled. “Fiona and Aislinn can run to the store and get you stocked up while we continue bringing the boxes in.”
It was a good suggestion. I wasn’t leaving until they had food in the fridge and cupboards. “That’s a good idea. It’ll save us from doing it later.”
“And, get him a sandwich before we head back,” Fiona interjected. She nudged Bas wi
th her shoulder and melted into him. A stab of jealousy tore through me when I watched the affection transform both of their faces. I wanted someone to look at me like that.
Dathan never did. Not even when we met over twenty years ago. We loved each other, but it wasn’t the ‘She’s my entire world’ I saw in both Fiona and Bas’s eyes. I wanted to be someone’s everything. To have a partner complete me and make me a better woman. Perhaps then I would regain control over my power.
I’d burned a pile of towels while I was helping the twins pack last night and had to run to the store and buy more. Every time I tried to cast spells, it backfired on me. The potions I had mixed to place around their windowsills and doorways didn’t blow up in my face, but they did catch fire.
Aislinn put her purse on her shoulder. “Text me a list of what you want aside from cleaning supplies and toilet paper.”
Fiona snagged the keys from the bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room, and I followed them down the stairs giving them suggestions. If I knew my kids, they’d ask them to buy prepackaged crap.
I spent the next half hour loading my arms down with boxes and carrying them to their apartment. Aislinn had unpacked what we had already brought inside, so it wasn’t overwhelming when we stacked the rest in the various rooms.
Ben and Sebastian hauled the beds and bedframes inside and set up the bedrooms. When the truck was empty, and everything was in their apartment, I searched for the sheets and made the bed.
Aislinn and Fiona returned when I was finishing Bailey’s room. I helped put the groceries away and asked my friends for their assistance. “Can you help me with the wards?”
“Absolutely. Together, the Backside of Forty is impenetrable. It’s why I asked for your help at Pymm’s Pondside,” Fiona readily replied.
My satchel hung from the coat closet doorknob. “I’ll set the potions and runes, then we can cast the wards.” I removed the dozen vials and bags of salt and herbs and set them on the bar. It was the one surface that wasn’t covered at the moment.
Bailey stepped up next to me and scanned the ingredients. “Can I help, mom? Or at least watch?”
My heart raced, and my soul smiled. Happiness engulfed me for a split second as I soaked in my daughter’s desire to learn from me. It was a significant step for her, and she wanted me to guide her. My lack of control didn’t matter in that second. Bailey believed in me and saw me as a powerful, capable witch. That gift was priceless.
“I’d love to walk you through the process. Grab the salt first.” Bailey did as asked and followed me into her bedroom. “Now, sprinkle a line along the wood, close to the metal of the frame. Then trace the witch rune for a bar. It’ll create magical bars on the window. Do you remember the runes?"
Bailey shook her head. “I remember the one for flower and the one for light. The rest are fuzzy.”
I threw her a scowl and ended up chuckling instead. “I was the same way. I will do the rune. After we finish the salt, we add the herbs and do a second rune. You can do the next one.”
“Alright.” I heard the nerves in Bailey’s voice and kept further comments to myself. This wouldn’t bring the building down. She needed to practice. And it saved me from making a spectacle of myself.
Bailey spread the salt where indicated, and I drew a rune in the crystals with my finger. The second I was done, white light flashed along the line, and the salt sunk into the wood. We proceeded to do the rest of the windows in the apartment then repeated the process with the herbs.
Bailey was sweating but smiling from ear to ear after she finished. “That was incredible. I thought I would screw it up, but I set the herbs. Thanks, mom.”
I hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. “You’re a natural. And you’ve got more power than I did at your age. I’m not surprised you’ve been struggling with it.”
“Do you think it’s a result of me sharing power with you?” Fiona asked where she was making a butty for Bas in the kitchen. “Phoebe told me her daughter is exhibiting signs of having magic. She and Nina were both completely human when Hattie gave Phoebe her magic."
I bobbed my head. “It’s possible. I never considered it before, but it would make sense. When a witch dies and has no kids, her magic is given to the closest worthy woman. The Goddess created our kind with a delicate balance. Our power has to be handed down to maintain that balance.”
Fiona finished the butty and handed it to Bas. “She’ll be happy to know she was right. Are you guys ready?”
Aislinn paused in unpacking the last box in the kitchen. The twins were almost entirely moved in and settled. They were just starting out and didn’t have much stuff. “Ready when you guys are.”
Fiona washed her hands then joined us next to the front door. We all clasped hands, and I took a deep breath. Please don’t let this blow up in my face. “Praesidio.” Blue light flashed from our joined hands and expanded across the walls.
We moved to the sliding glass doors that lead to the balcony and repeated the process. Once we had done each of the portals into the house, we moved outside and cast a ward on the landing in front of their apartment.
“We should get going. I don’t want to be home too late. I have an early shift at Mug Shots in the morning,” Aislinn announced when we were finished.
My chest twisted when I thought about leaving them there. As if she sensed my reluctance, Fiona held my gaze. “You can do this, Vi. They’re protected. It’s going to be alright.”
Bas stood in the open doorway. “If it helps, I don’t sense any danger nearby. We both know there are dark Fae everywhere, but they aren’t close.”
“That does help. Thanks, Bas.” I looked past him at my kids. “You two, be careful. Don’t go to the park or wander the streets at night. And check in daily, so I don't worry.”
“We won’t do anything stupid, and we will call all the time,” Bailey promised.
“I won’t walk to work alone, either,” Ben added. To my amazement, neither of them rolled their eyes. That had to be a record. I wanted to call the papers and have them print their promise. My kids always rolled their eyes when I overreacted like this.
I wanted to keep them in my basement forever. All I had to do was remember the week when neither took one stair up to the kitchen after they’d been kidnapped to dismiss the idea. It was heartbreaking to see them too terrified to move.
“I have tracking charms for you both, as well,” Sebastian announced and lifted his hand. Two charms lay on his palm. One was a pentagram for Ben, and the other was a replica of the family grimoire for Bailey.
I teared up and fought to keep them from falling. “I had no idea you made them. Thank you.” That was an extra layer of protection and helped loosen the knot in my gut even more.
Bas inclined his head. “I knew none of you guys would sleep well without some assurance we could find them if the worst happened. Besides, I needed the peace of mind, as well.”
“Never take these off,” I told my kids.
They both accepted the charms and looked at them. Ben lifted his head and responded first. “Thank you for this. I was planning on chaining Bailey up when I went to work.”
Bailey rolled her eyes at her brother. “That’s a bit extreme. You’ve saved me in more ways than you know, Sebastian. Thank you.”
I hugged my kids close and sniffed back the tears. “Be safe. Call me tomorrow.”
They both assured me they would, and we left. Fiona held one hand, and Aislinn had the other, and I cried the entire way home while my heart broke. I was truly all alone now. There would be no one there when I went home each night.
Chapter 5
“Child, don’t look at me like that.” Being chided by Isidora like I was fifteen years old again and had just performed magic in front of Fiona wasn’t pleasant. I tried not to check her for signs of decompensation, but in the end, I always caved. The magic that brought her back shouldn’t be possible, and none of us knew exactly what she was or how long she would be wi
th us.
I shrugged my shoulders and lowered my gaze to my cup of tea. “Sorry. I can’t help it, but I do try. How have you been?”
Isidora narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her ample bosom. She hadn’t held back her aging, so she looked like a kind grandmother with her grey hair and wrinkled face. Well, when she wasn’t scowling at you like you’d just stolen her car and taken it for a joyride.
“Between you and Fiona, I feel like a bug under a microscope. I’m just fine, and I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
Aislinn leaned on her elbows from her stool next to me. “How’s your magic? Can you cast spells like usual?”
Isidora’s face lost its pissed expression and went blank. “Not exactly. I can do some simple things, but nothing major. I need time to recharge. I was dead for months, after all.”
Fiona set her bag of onion-flavored crisps down and brushed off her hands. “I’m not so sure about that, Nana. I know you aren’t happy about me asking them for help recasting the protections around Pymm’s Pondside, but I can’t wait. There is too much here to risk the demonic creature running around killing people sneaking onto our land.”
Fiona wasn’t wrong. The image of the creature that had attacked Faye refused to leave my nightmares. It said it was looking for me, and I didn’t understand why. It chilled me to the bone and terrified me. Its focus amplified my wonky powers, as well.
I reconsidered helping with the process. What made me think I could help them? I’d been avoiding my magic like I would catch a virulent case of the runs if I used it. I opened my mouth to tell them I couldn’t do this and shut it. There was no way I was going to leave my friends high and dry.
Aislinn was still recovering from our trip to Eidothea, and Fiona had already done so much for Cottlehill. She needed me, and I would be there. Womb to tomb. She was my person, and I wouldn’t let her down. I hoped.
