by A'zayler
“Hey Daddy. Where are you? I want to go home with you and Mommy.”
“You’re not having fun with Auntie Fallon and Jazz?”
“Yes, but I’m ready to come home.”
Damien’s eyes watered as he listened to his son. He was so innocent. All he wanted was his fucked up parents. In his eyes they were probably the best people in the world, when really they were two of the worst.
“Okay, Daddy will be by there to get you soon, okay?” His voice broke with tears.
“Yes, sir. I love you, Daddy. Tell Mommy I love her too.”
“Okay, son. You be a big boy and always protect your sister, okay?”
“I will, but she keeps biting me.”
Damien laughed a little before telling him even when she bites him to still protect her. Little Damien got off of the phone and a few seconds later he could hear the happy squeals of Damia.
“Hey ma ma. What you doing, huh? You biting your brother?” He talked to her in his best baby voice until Fallon came back on the line.
“Thank you so much for keeping them while I get myself together Fallon.”
“It’s fine. Just please hurry. They miss you. Little Damien asks about y’all every day. It would be good for him to at least have one of you.”
Damien wiped his eyes. “I know. I’ll try. Talk to you later, aight?”
Fallon said okay and he hung up. The next call he made was to Alex. It rang and rang until it went to voicemail. So he called right back. This time he answered.
“Hello.”
“Why you dodging me?”
“I’m not. I’m just at work. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just needed to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong with you? You crying?” Alex’s voice held concern.
That made Damien feel good because for a minute he’d thought no one cared. “Nah, just my allergies or something…” There was a stretch of silence of unspoken truths. “Let me ask you something,”
“Go ahead.”
“What we had was real, right?”
Alex sighed. “Yes, it was very real. You just couldn’t give me what I wanted, and I’m fine with that now. I wasn’t at first, but now I understand.”
“You loved me?”
“Yep. Still do.”
“Why life gotta be so fucked up?”
“I wish I knew.”
Damien didn’t say anything else; he just held the phone. Apparently Alex knew he really needed to talk because instead of saying something smart like he always did, he just held the phone.
“In another lifetime we would have been perfect together, huh?”
“In a label less society we would be all right, but that’s not the world we live in.” Alex got quiet again. “Did you ever find out your results?”
“Yeah, I’ma die soon.”
He could hear Alex mumbling something on the other end before his background went quiet. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s cool. I did this shit to myself. What about you?”
“I’m clean.”
Damien held his head down and let his tears fall. “Good… that’s good.”
The line was quiet for a while after that, as Alex listened to him cry. Once he had gotten himself together, he told Alex he would talk to him later.
“Okay, I love you.”
Damien paused. “I love you too… but aye, do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Get yourself straight. I know you thought I wasn’t listening when you told me you’ve been thinking about trying to give your life to God, but I was. I think you should do it. Save yourself from the misery this life brings.”
“I’ll try.”
“No. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Aight. Take care of yourself.”
“I will. You do the same.”
Damien chuckled before ending the call. He sat on the ground looking out at the water before he went through his phone, erasing everything that had anything to do with Alex or Drake. It didn’t take long because he did that everyday anyway, but when he finished, he sat it on the ground next to his shoes.
Just before standing to his feet, Damien grabbed his phone and made one last call.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“There’s a man about to jump into the Chattahoochee River.”
“Is there someone there to help him sir? Do you know the man?”
“Yeah… me.” Damien tapped his screen to end his call and threw his phone back to the ground.
He walked to the edge of the walkway and climbed on top of the brick banister. He could hear people in the background yelling for him to please get down, but he tuned them out. Instead of focusing on them, he looked down at his watch. It was time for him to go.
*****
Alex went back into his salon and picked his blow dryer back up. While blow drying his client’s hair, his thoughts went to Damien. He’d sounded so sad on the phone, so hopeless. As much as he wanted not to care, he couldn’t help it. He loved Damien, and had been loving him for a long time. Even though he had moved on and was happy with Troy, he still had a soft spot for Damien.
Everything they’d been through was still so fresh in his mind and he had to fight with himself everyday not to run back to him. It was crazy how you could fall in love with the most unexpected people at the most unexpected time.
“Oh my God! Again?” one of the other stylists said, snapping Alex out of his trance.
He looked up and she was on the phone. Alex set his blow dryer down and picked up his clips and flat iron. To rid his mind of Damien, he started flat ironing the girl’s hair.
“Girl, they need to do something about that damn river,” she said this time. “Okay, girl call me back when you find out who it was.” She hung up her phone and gave the whole salon an update.
“That was my sister. They say some man dun jumped in the Chattahoochee River and killed himself. She said ambulance, divers, and everybody out there.”
Alex didn’t know why, but it felt like his heart was about to stop. It couldn’t be. He grabbed his phone and ran outside again. He dialed Damien’s number only for it to ring to the voicemail. He dialed it again and again until finally someone picked up. He became hopeful for a minute until he heard a man that sounded like he might have been white answer it.
“May I speak with Damien please? Alex asked, hoping this wasn’t happening.
“I’m sorry, sir, we’re in the middle of an investigation right now and this phone is a part of it.”
“Is he dead? Did he jump?” Alex slid down the wall of the salon until he was seated on the ground.
“Sir, I can’t give out any details until we’re sure about everything. Do you mind coming down to the station?”
Alex choked up. “No, I’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and dialed Summer.
As soon as she answered he screamed bloody murder. He cried and cried, barely able to talk.
“Alex, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“Come get me Summer, please. Come and get me.” Alex’s sobs were getting worse.
“I’m on the way. You at work?”
Alex told her yes as best as he could and dropped his phone to the ground. He didn’t care about cracking it or anything. All he cared about was the fact that the person he loved was probably lying lifeless at the bottom of the river. He sat outside crying his eyes out, trying his best to avoid the people stopping to ask if he was okay. He didn’t want to talk. He just needed to be left alone.
He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there waiting, but when he heard Summer and Rain’s voices he looked up. They were both walking toward him. When they were next to him they each took an arm and pulled him from the ground. He leaned his head on Summer’s shoulder as she walked him to the backseat of her car.
Once they were all in again. Summer looked over her shoulder into the backseat at him. “Alex, what happened?”
“Damien�
� he… he killed himself.” He fell toward Rain as soon as the words left his mouth.
“What? How you know?”
Alex tried to answer their questions but he was too distraught. The most he could get out was that they needed to take him to the police station. Summer and Rain did their best to console him, but at the moment, that was impossible. In all of his life, Alex had never felt a pain as deep as the one he was feeling at the moment.
If that was bad, the day of the funeral was even worse. Alex stood in his room looking at himself in the mirror. The funeral was set to start within the next hour, and Alex still hadn’t left his house. He had gotten completely dressed and now he couldn’t make his feet move. The past week had been one of the hardest.
On more days than one he felt like he wouldn’t make it, but he knew he would. At nights, whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was Damien’s body lying on the cold table covered with a sheet up to his neck. His head was swollen from being in the water, but other than that, he looked just like himself.
Summer and Rain had to catch him to keep him from falling when they viewed his body. It had hurt so bad he hadn’t even bothered to go see him again for his viewing yesterday. He just didn’t have the energy. He’s spent his whole week lying in the dark trying to figure out what was next. He replayed the promise he made to Damien over and over in his head. He was right. It was time to make a change. The life he was leading was taking him straight to destruction, and he no longer wanted that.
Having finally built up enough courage to leave, Alex grabbed his phone and keys and left. He’d texted Summer and Rain letting them know that he would meet them there. On the drive over he didn’t play any music. He rode in complete silence. His thoughts were so loud they probably would have drowned the music out anyway.
Cars were everywhere when he pulled up to the church. It was so packed he could hardly find a park. Had Rain not already told him she’d saved him a seat on the second row near her and Summer, he would have been nervous about standing up. Alex looked at himself once more in his rearview mirror and got out.
He hit the locks on his truck and proceeded into the church. There were people still coming and going, so he didn’t feel too bad. When he got to the door, he could see Damien’s casket from where he was standing. Alex took a deep breath and said a quick prayer, asking for strength.
After the last person that had been standing in front of him moved out of the way Alex walked to the front of the church and up to Damien’s casket. He stood over him silently weeping. He was so handsome in his suit with his fresh haircut. The swelling in his head had gone down and he was back looking like his normal self. He didn’t know how long he stood there, but he didn’t move until he was ready.
When he turned around he scanned the second row for Summer and Rain. They were both looking at him with their mouths open. Alex smirked as he walked to the seat next to Rain and Love. He knew when they saw him it was going to be something. Instead of wearing his normal female clothing, he’d chosen to do it a little more respectful today and dressed as a man.
He’d taken out his sew in and his hair was in a low fade with a line up. He’d gone to the barbershop that morning, so his cut was fresh. The all white pants and button up shirt was tailored to fit his small body and made him look extremely handsome. As soon as he sat down, Summer and Rain were all over him.
“Boy, I didn’t even know that was you.” Summer touched his hair.
“Me either. What dun got into you?” Rain whispered, as she looked him up and down.
“We’ll talk after the funeral.” Alex winked at both of them and turned his attention to the front.
The funeral directors were on both ends of Damien’s casket and were preparing to close it. Alex’s heart dropped and he had to fight not to yell out in the church. The man had just folded over the cloth that was hanging out and tucked it inside the casket next to Damien’s arm. The pain seared through Alex’s heart. After that day, he would never be the same again.
Chapter 13: When it’s All Said and Done
Two Months Later…
Rain sat on the porch rocking back and forth in the rocking chair with her laptop. It was nearing twelve o’clock in the afternoon and the temperature outside was just right. She had a release date coming up soon and she wanted to read over her book before sending it to her editor. She had been working on it all day and she was finally finished.
There wasn’t much left to be done but she needed to finish it. When she felt herself getting sleepy, she gathered her things and changed her scenery. Sometimes writing in the house would make you lazy. Her legs were propped up on the small step stool that held her notebook and pen.
“You hungry?” Love stuck his head out the door and looked at her.
“Yeah, but I’ll eat when I finish.”
“No, you’ll eat now.” Love closed the door.
Rain already knew he would be back in a second with something for her to eat. Ever since she’d told him about her pregnancy, she hadn’t had to do a thing. He did everything he could for her. He even did things she hadn’t asked him for. For instance, the food he was in there putting together.
Rain looked down at her pudgy stomach and blew it a kiss. She wasn’t showing very much, but her stomach was getting a little extra fat on it. She wouldn’t complain though. Life could be here one minute and gone the next. So she would be sure to treat the life growing in her womb as the blessing it was.
“Here, eat this.” Love walked to her with a plate of rice and chicken on it. Before giving it to her, he took her laptop and set it on the empty chair next to her.
Rain grabbed the plate and smelled the food. Her mouth watered immediately. She hadn’t even realized that she was so hungry. She used the fork he had on the plate to stir her food around while he took a seat on the stool. He lifted her feet and placed them in his lap then leaned back against the wall.
“So you’re keeping me company, huh?”
“Yeahhh, I figured I’d show my baby mama some love on my day off.”
Rain pointed her fork at him. “Wife, nigga, don’t play.”
He laughed like he always did whenever he would call her his baby mama. He knew she couldn’t stand that term, so he made sure to tease her at least once a day.
“You know what I meant, baby doll. Eat your food.” Love dug into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone.
Rain watched him look at the screen before answering it. “Fallon, what’s going on, shawty?”
Instead of listening to their conversation Rain dug into her meal. She ate until it was gone, leaving nothing on the plate but bones. Love wasn’t saying much, but he was still on the phone, so Rain assumed Fallon was doing all of the talking. When he hung up, she handed him her plate and asked what Fallon had wanted.
“She wants us to meet her down at her lawyer’s office today to sign some paperwork.”
“Paperwork for what?”
He shrugged and stood to his feet, then started gathering her things to take them in the house.
“When she want us to do that?”
“Now, if we can.”
Rain rolled her eyes before getting up. She walked past him and into the house as he held the door open for her. They both got dressed and left. Rain could tell Love was in deep thought about whatever it was Fallon was doing because he didn’t say anything the whole ride there. He didn’t say anything else until he was opening the door for her.
“You feeling okay?” He grabbed her hand.
“I’m fine.”
They walked hand in hand into the building Fallon had told him to come to. The receptionist told them what floor to go to and pointed them toward the elevators. Love was holding her hand, but he kept squeezing it every so often, another sign of nervousness. When the bell finally dinged letting them know they were at their floor, they got off and went the rest of the way.
The glass to the office she was in was translucent, so he had to push the door open before they could
see anything. There were two other women sitting inside when he went to talk to the secretary. Instead of telling them to have a seat like everyone else, she led them to the back. Stopping at a conference room, she knocked twice and pushed the door open.
Love stepped to the side to allow Rain in first. “Summer, what you doing here?” she said as soon as she walked in.
“Fallon asked me to come, girl.”
Rain looked around the room at Fallon and her. Tacara. Love’s ex-girlfriend and the little too friendly temptress that had been all over her man the last time she’d seen him. Rain looked her up and down but said nothing as she took a seat at the table. What in the hell kind of mess did Fallon have up her sleeve?
Love made it no secret that he was thinking the same thing. He sat next to Rain and looked at Fallon. “What’s up? Why you got all of us here?”
“It’s some paperwork that needs to be taken care of, and I needed all of you here.”
“Okay, I get why me and Rain are here. Summer and especially Tacara is something totally different.”
Fallon looked at both women. “Well, Summer is just here for moral support. Tacara is here because she needs to be.”
Love rubbed his forehead and Rain patted his thigh. “It’s okay,” she whispered.
He looked back up and nodded at the young black man in the suit and tie. There was a manila folder in front of him and he looked to be waiting on Love. After the brief head nod, he opened the folder. He spread out an array of papers in front of Love and began explaining what each one of them was. Most of it was documents that made him the legal guardian of Jazz if something was to happen to Fallon.
“Hold up, not that I give a fuck, but Drake ain’t gon have nothing to say about me taking his son?”
Fallon held her head down briefly before looking back up at Love. “No, because Drake isn’t his biological father. He would have no say so in anything regarding Jazz because I never allowed him to adopt him.”
Love sat back in his chair. “Drake ain’t Jazz’ dad?” Confusion was evident.
Fallon shook her head.
“Do you know who is because we need to get all of this squared away now. I’m not trying to be taken to court ten years down the road by some nigga that’s just now deciding he wants to play daddy.”
