by Jane Blythe
Some Regrets Are Forever
Jane Blythe
Copyright © 2021 Jane Blythe
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, reverse engineered or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, including photocopying and recording, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented without permission in writing from the publisher.
All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Bear Spots Publications
Melbourne Australia
Cover designed by QDesigns
I’d like to thank everyone who played a part in bringing this story to life. Particularly my mom who is always there to share her thoughts and opinions with me. My awesome cover designer, Amy, who whips up covers for me so quickly and who patiently makes every change I ask for, and there are usually lots of them! And my lovely editor Lisa Edwards for all her encouragement and for all the hard work she puts into polishing my work.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Book List
About the Author
February 3rd
7:12 P.M.
This was it.
The end of the road.
Meadow Smith stepped off the bus and shivered. It was cold out, early February, and although it hadn’t snowed in over a week it felt like an icebox out here, but that wasn’t why she shivered. The shudder was because her life as she’d known it was gone forever. She was on her own now, and she had no idea how she was going to take care of herself.
The bus driver tooted his horn at her, and she realized that she was still standing in the doorway. Quickly, she moved away. She didn’t have a bag with her, she had nothing but a small box in her pocket, and the clothes on her back. The bus ticket had cost her all the money she’d had bar a few measly dollars, and Meadow had no idea what her next move should be.
Where would she stay?
How would she support herself?
What was going to happen to her?
There were no answers to those questions, and with a heavy rock of dreadful trepidation in her stomach, she turned and watched the bus as it drove off down the road.
That bus had been her home for the last couple of days and seeing it leave only intensified those feelings of fear and loneliness. When it disappeared around a corner she shivered again, and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Meadow fought them back because in the cold they would feel like tiny blocks of ice against her cold skin, and because she had already cried more tears than anyone should have to in a lifetime.
She straightened her spine, pulled her coat tighter around herself—as much as a shield to the world as a shield against the cold—and started walking. The ticket she had bought—the one that got her as far away from where she had been as she could afford—had brought her to a small town called River’s End. Farms surrounded the town, and the bus stop appeared to be at one end of a street that was lined with stores. Most of them were closed since it was after seven, but her eyes immediately zeroed in on light spilling out from one particular shop down toward the other end of the street.
Meadow started walking, and as soon as she did she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.
It felt like someone was watching her.
“You’re wrong,” she hissed under her breath.
She prayed she was, she really did, but it was hard to believe that this had worked and she was truly free now.
Dark windows stared out at her from the empty shops and houses that lined both sides of the street, and although she couldn’t see any faces peeping through them it didn’t mean that someone wasn’t watching her.
She wondered if that feeling would ever fade. Would there ever be a time where she wasn’t constantly looking over her shoulder? Would there ever be a time when she would feel free? Safe? While she hoped that there would be, she wasn’t overly optimistic about the possibility. If there was one thing that life had taught her it was that just when you thought you were turning the corner and finally finding something good, you were really about to find yourself in an even worse situation than the one you were leaving.
Was that what would happen to her here in River’s End?
Maybe her best option was to just keep moving. Sure she didn’t have any money for another bus ticket right now, but maybe there was a way to get a job here, work for a couple of weeks, just long enough to buy another ticket, and then she could move on to somewhere else.
Move and keep on moving.
It would be a lonely life, but perhaps it was her best chance at actually having a life.
Sacrifices.
Life was full of them and staying on the move, never remaining in one place for too long, that seemed like it was going to be the sacrifice that life had thrown at her.
She couldn’t run forever though, sooner or later she would have to find a place to put down some roots because …
A scream very nearly tumbled off her lips when she heard a twig snapping behind her.
Someone else was out there.
Meadow spun around, expecting to see someone come running at her, but there was nothing. No one.
Carefully she scanned the road, there were streetlights and fairy lights decorating the trees, but anyone could be hiding behind a tree trunk or a car, waiting until she was distracted before they pounced.
Her hands were shoved deep into her pockets, and her fingers curled around the small box as though it possessed the ability to protect her from all the evil in the world. It was silly of course, it hadn’t done anything to save her from anything that had happened to her so far, and yet whenever she was scared she couldn’t help but reach for it.
Spooked and cold, she picked up the pace as she turned around and continued walking toward the light. It was like a lighthouse, a beacon, calling out to her, and when she got closer she saw that it was a diner. Did she have enough money for something to eat? She was starving, she hadn’t eaten in two days, and all she’d had to drink was water from the tap in the bathroom when the bus stopped at a gas station. She was dying for a steaming hot cup of tea. She’d take that over something to eat because her stomach seemed to have become accustomed to the gnawing hunger and it no longer bothered her too much, being able to curl her cold hands around a hot mug, that offered her comfort that food couldn’t right now.
Pulling out the last of her money, she had three dollar bills and a handful of change, probably not enough for a meal, but she should be able to get her cup of tea. Feeling better, she pushed open the door and stepped inside. It was warm in the diner, and immediately she felt herself relax a little. This town was small, no one would find her here, she could take some time, regroup, try to figure out a plan, and for now she could just sit indoors, out of the cold, and drink her tea.
The place was full, but she saw a booth in the back corner that was perfect for her, so she hurried over to it, sliding down onto a bench that was so much more comfortable than the cramped bus seat she had been stuck in for days.
It was warm enough in here that she could take off her coat, and she was just sliding her arms out when a pretty young waitress came bustling over.
“Evening.” The woman smiled at her. “What can I get for you?”
“Evening,�
�� Meadow murmured back. It felt odd speaking to someone else because she hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since she bought her ticket at the station over forty-eight hours ago. “How much is a cup of tea?” she asked anxiously, hoping she had enough. It would be embarrassing to have to say she couldn’t afford it, and have to walk out of this nice warm place and back out into the cold night.
“Three dollars,” the woman replied. Then her forehead creased with concern. “Is that all you want? Kitchen is still open, we have the best pumpkin soup you’ll even find in your life. It’s only five dollars for a nice big bowl and a slice of my Grandma’s homemade bread. Or we have some delicious toasted sandwiches. I could do you a grilled cheese or something?”
The woman looked at her expectantly, and Meadow felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. It was obvious to the waitress that she was hungry and no doubt she looked dirty too, since it had been days since she showered, and the food she had mentioned sounded delicious, but she only had enough for the tea. “Just the tea please,” she replied, hoping the woman didn’t push further.
“Okay then.” The waitress pasted on a smile that looked fake and breezed off.
Meadow had to fight back another batch of tears that threatened to burst out. It was humiliating enough to know that people could tell she was some poor homeless woman, but she wasn’t going to add to that by crying in a diner full of people. So she sucked in her bottom lip and chewed on it, and tried to focus on the positives in her life instead of the negatives.
Not that there were many.
That reality brought fresh tears to her eyes, and she might have succumbed to them if the waitress hadn’t reappeared. “Here you go, a nice hot cup of tea. We do free refills, and we’re open until ten, so you can stay here as long as you like.”
The woman’s words were kind and compassionate, and Meadow knew that she was trying to be helpful, but all they did was fill her with shame.
She had no skills, no real education, no place to go to sleep tonight, and no money to buy food. How long did she really expect to last out here on her own?
“Th-thank you,” she mumbled and fixed her gaze on the steam, which was twirling in little dancing puffs as it poured off the cup.
“You’re welcome,” the waitress replied before buzzing off to another table.
This was her life now, for at least as long as it took to find a way to fix things, so she may as well learn to make the best of it. She curled her hands around the mug, enjoying the way it burned a little, for now at least she could just enjoy the warmth of the diner and her cup of tea.
* * * * *
7:34 P.M.
He had noticed her the second she walked through the door.
It wasn’t like she was hard to miss. Long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, blue eyes that darted nervously about as though she expected a monster to come jumping out at any second. Paper pale skin that hinted that she spent little time outdoors, dressed in jeans, a pink sweater, and cream-colored coat that looked as though they’d been slept in. Add the fear that was written all over the girl’s face, and the fact that she appeared to be at least five months pregnant, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was in trouble.
Sheriff Abe Black stretched in his seat at the counter and tried as surreptitiously as he could to get another look at her. She had slipped onto the bench of the booth in the corner of the room furthest from the door, and scrunched herself right up into the corner, as though if it was possible she would make herself disappear altogether.
The girl looked young, nothing more than a kid. Was she a minor? Kicked out by her parents because she was pregnant? Abused by a parent or family member or friend, and wound up pregnant because of the abuse? Raped? A runaway who had been forced into prostitution only to wind up pregnant by a client?
His cop mind couldn’t help but run through a million possibilities as he watched her.
She was just taking off her coat when Penny approached her. Abe watched their exchange, trying to gauge whether his gut reaction that the kid was in trouble and needed help was correct. It was busy in here tonight, and he couldn’t hear what either Penny or the girl were saying over the lively chatter, but the girl’s cheeks suddenly went red, and he wondered if she was broke. Broke and pregnant wasn’t a good combination for anyone let alone some kid.
“Penny,” he called out as the waitress headed back toward the kitchen.
“What’s up, Sheriff?” she asked as she came over. “Need a refill on that coffee? Another muffin? More soup?”
“No, I’m fine,” he assured her. He liked Penny, in a purely platonic way, they had grown up together, gone to school together, even exchanged a kiss at an eighth grade make-out party, and he knew the mom of four little ones—two sets of twins under four—would tell him exactly what she thought of the pregnant kid. “The girl over there,” he nodded his head in the direction of the girl’s booth, “what did she say to you?”
“Not a lot,” Penny said, giving him a refill of coffee he didn’t need. He’d already consumed enough caffeine today to keep him up for the next three days straight. “She asked for a cup of tea, she looked hungry, and she’s pregnant so I offered her something to eat, she said no, she just wanted the tea.”
“Why do you think that is?”
Penny’s brown eyes went sharp as she realized she was being interrogated. “Same reason you do I’d reckon.”
“You think she’s homeless?”
“I think there’s only one reason a pregnant woman would turn down a bowl of hot soup and some homemade bread on a cold winter’s night, and that’s because she can’t afford it.”
“How old do you think she is?” Abe asked. He couldn’t disagree with what Penny had just said. If the girl didn’t like pumpkin soup she could have said so and asked for something else, but she’d turned down everything, the kid was definitely broke.
“Twenty maybe,” Penny replied.
“Not younger?” He’d been hoping that if she was a kid he could call in child protective services, have them drive out here in the morning and pick her up, maybe ask his parents if she could spend the night with them. But if the girl was an adult then he couldn’t very well just walk up to her and demand that she tell him why she was pregnant and starving with no money to buy food.
“I don’t think so, but those eyes.” Penny paused and looked thoughtful. “They look haunted, and she seems scared. I’d say she needs help.”
While he didn’t disagree with her, he was the local sheriff, not the local busybody, and his job didn’t give him the right to go up to strangers who hadn’t done anything wrong and interrogate them, even if it was in their best interest. “Take her a bowl of soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a white chocolate and raspberry muffin. Tell her that it’s nearly closing time and that you have to throw away any food that’s left over at the end of the day so she’s doing you a favor by taking it.” Abe reached into his back pocket and pulled out some cash, handing it over to Penny. He might not be able to interrogate the woman, but he certainly wasn’t the kind of man who would let a starving pregnant woman in need of help go off into the night with an empty stomach.
“You’re a sweetheart, you know that.” Penny leaned over and kissed his cheek, then took the money. “Beneath that tough exterior you put on there’s a big, cuddly teddy bear lurking inside.”
Abe certainly wouldn’t go that far, but his parents had raised him right. They’d taught him to think of others before himself, and to always help someone in need if he was in a position to do so. He’d served in the military before becoming a cop, saving and protecting people was a part of him, it was written into his DNA, but he didn’t think anyone would describe him as either a sweetheart or a big, cuddly teddy bear. He was too gruff, too brisk, too hard, and while he was able to soften himself when dealing with victims of crime, he didn’t have a tender bone in his body.
“Don’t even bother denying it.” Penny grinned when he opened his mouth to protest.
“You forget I’ve known you all your life. You’re a good guy, Abe, a good guy with a big heart, and there’s nothing wrong with letting everybody know it.”
“Well don’t let the girl know it,” he reminded her. He wasn’t after the kid’s gratitude, he just wanted to do what he could to help her out, and if buying her a meal and letting her think that the food would go to waste if she didn’t eat it helped her then he was all for it. That did not make him a big, cuddly teddy bear.
“I won’t,” Penny said with a laugh as she headed off to prepare the girl’s food.
He didn’t feel good about just giving her a meal and then sending her off into the night. What if she was in trouble? What if she was in danger? If she was running from an abusive ex or family member, then there was a chance they might come after her, especially since the baby could be proof of the abuse.
Or she was just a girl who got pregnant and embarrassed for anyone else to find out so she had decided to run away. It was sad, and she obviously needed help, but he was a cop not a social worker, and he had no proof that any sort of crime had occurred.
Let it go, he told himself. He’d done all he could for her. She had made her choices, and she had to live with the consequences, and if she was a victim of a crime there was nothing stopping her from going to the cops and getting the help she needed.
Abe watched as Penny carried a tray full of a huge bowl of soup—a bowl he knew was twice the usual size—homemade bread, sandwiches, and at least three muffins. He couldn’t help but smile, Penny called him a sweetheart, but she and her family were some of the sweetest people he had ever met. They clearly wanted to do their own part in making sure the woman got the meal she obviously needed.
When Penny set the tray down the girl immediately shook her head and held out her hand, trying to stop Penny from unloading it. Penny said something, and he could see on the girl’s face that she was having an internal battle, no doubt about accepting the food which she probably suspected wasn’t really going to be thrown away, but eventually with a shy smile, she nodded.
