His words stuck in my heart like a dagger, and I felt as if I would burst into tears right there on the street. But there was no way in hell that I would give that piece of shit the satisfaction of seeing my tears.
“Well, we'll just have to talk some other time,” I said as I pushed past him.
“Hey, pauper,” he called out.
For reasons unknown to me, I stopped when he said that. Maybe because deep down I felt that was really who I was. Maybe I actually felt like a poor nobody when it came to running with that crowd.
“Drew is with Poppy now.”
What? What the hell was he saying to me?
I stood there stoic, unable to move a muscle, knowing I should just walk away, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.
I heard him laugh. “Oh, so now you want to listen to me?”
I couldn't have moved if I had tried to force myself. Part of me wanted to hear what he said, part of me dreaded hearing it.
“You heard me. I set it all up. I asked Poppy if she would go to Drew and cheer him up because he seemed, well, a little down lately. Believe me, she was more than willing to go. She texted me last night and said that they fucked all day and night and that she rode him like her stud horse.”
He laughed so loud that it hurt my ears. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was it true? Had he been with Poppy? Was that where he had been when he wasn't answering. I didn't know, but there was no way that Clayton was going to lay that on me and then get the last laugh in.
“It’s true. You’ll see tonight. The Royal Gala. Poppy will be on his arm, while you’ll be watching from your filthy little flat in holey pajamas and eating stale popcorn. It’s a televised event, so make sure you tune in.” He threw his head back and laughed, and fury surged through my veins.
“You know what, Clayton? I feel sorry for you because if that is true, then you have just cost yourself the best friend that you've ever had. Drew loves you, he always thought of you as a brother, and this is how you thank him?” I felt my knees shaking, and my head was spinning so fast that I thought I would hit the ground right there. I willed myself to stand up to that prick.
“Whatever is going on between Drew and me, we will work it out. If it's true that you set it all up with Poppy, well, after I tell him what you've done, he'll drop you faster than a bad habit.”
“You little bitch! Do you really think he’ll believe common trash like you over his best friend. Like you said, we’re like brothers.”
Somewhere, from a place unknown to me, I found the courage to react, with my knee slamming upward into Clayton’s balls. He clasped his groin and sucked air for breath as his knees hit the pavement.
I took off running for my car. My hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't even get the key into the ignition. I looked around to make sure that he was nowhere in sight then I burst into tears, sobbing so hard that my head felt as if it would split open right then and there.
What was I going to do? Clayton had laid a lot of information on me, and I had to sort it all out. I finally got my car started and headed back to my flat. Once inside, safe and away from everyone, I let myself go and I cried huge tears that soaked my face, neck, and shirt. I didn't care, I had to let it out.
What if it was true about Drew and Poppy? Was it possible that he could have made love to her when he was in love with me? Surely not. I could never do that to Drew. Men were different, I reminded myself. Men were like dogs; they didn't care who they screwed—they just wanted to fuck.
I thought back to my mum's heart being broken after my father admitted to an affair with his coworker when I was just thirteen-years-old. He claimed that it was just sex and that she meant nothing to him. I was eavesdropping on them the night that Mum confronted him, and although I wasn't sure about all of the how and whys of it all, I knew that sex was supposed to mean more than just being with someone's body. I promised myself at the very moment that I would never be with a man and allow him to say, 'it was just sex; it meant nothing'.
No, I wanted it to be special each time I was with someone. Now, here it was that Drew had possibly had sex with someone else. I covered my face with my hands and wept into them. “Please God, don't let it be true. That is something I don't know if I could forgive or not,” I prayed.
The memory of Drew claiming my virginity played on repeat, accosting me. How he was rough, experienced. How he explained that we’d fucked, and fucking was different than making love. He’d promised that we’d be together again, and eventually we’d make love.
He’d lied to me. He’d tricked me. Played me for a fool.
Drew never loved me.
He used me.
17
Drew
As I stood in front of the full-length mirror clasping pins to my uniform, Eliza breezed through my mind. I had commitments as Prince, the Royal Gala being one of them, but I’d wanted Eliza here, on my arm tonight. Meeting Mum, Edward, and Maggie. Being introduced on the red carpet as my girlfriend.
The last week had been a blur. I hadn’t anticipated spending spring break at the palace, but sulking alone in my condo had grown boring before classes even closed for break. Eliza had shut me out without just cause. She’d ignored my calls, texts. She didn’t even answer when I’d gone to her flat. Although, it was rather a late hour. We didn’t typically speak in passing while at school, and I could have kicked myself for making that stipulation. She’d kept her distance from me, but I sensed something was wrong. It was almost as if we’d broken up without actually conversing it.
Then there was the entire fuck up with Poppy. Fucking Clayton. I’d let the bloody bastard manipulate me enough. With the Royal Gala closely approaching, we’d seen an influx of paparazzi hanging around campus and near the condo. It was to be expected with such a highly publicized fundraiser. To deter the vultures from creating a story that would reflect in poor taste for the Royal family, Clayton had suggested that I stay amongst my circle of friends, spend more time with Poppy and invite her to the gala just for show. Poppy being on my arm at the gala had made sense. She was a socialite, the heir of a wealthy watch manufacturer. We’d been friends for a very long time, so I didn’t question Clayton’s motives.
I’d attempted to go along with Clayton’s grand scheme until Poppy overstepped her boundaries. I had no romantic feelings for Poppy, and she of all people should have understood that we were merely keeping appearances for the tabloids and nothing more would come of our friendship.
When she’d kissed me in my car the other day, I was completely shocked that she expected more from me. Sex. There was no fucking way. We’d been old friends for as long as I could remember and Poppy had never seemed interested before. Even though Eliza had distanced herself from me, I couldn’t bear to make a move with someone else until I knew she and I were officially over.
That kiss, as innocent as I was in the action, left me with a pit of guilt in my stomach that I couldn’t get rid of. I felt dishonest for not telling Eliza, but how could I when she wouldn’t fucking talk to me. This was all a mess, and it’d left me wrecked the last couple of days.
After kicking Poppy out of my car, I’d gone home to my condo and literally sulked. I was pissed at myself, pissed at Clayton. I’d drank myself into oblivion that night, not realizing just how much alcohol I’d consumed. Whiskey would put a man on his ass, and I wasn’t a drinker usually. But I had drowned my emotions with the liquor—the anger, the confusion, the hurt.
Even when Eliza called yesterday evening, I didn’t even realize what day it was or how much I’d slept. I wanted to talk to her—needed to hear her voice—but I couldn’t wake myself up enough to carry on a conversation that would matter.
Until I woke up yesterday morning to a banging on my front door that was loud enough to wake the entire building.
Mum was pissed that I’d ignored her calls all week, so dear brother showed up to bring me home. Eighteen-years-old meant nothing in this family. I still had responsibilities to the throne.
This was Maggie’s big night, a fundraiser for her charity that was not only highly publicized, but would bring together all of England’s royal families, politicians, and businessmen. I was attending alone.
I could only blame myself that Eliza wouldn’t be on my arm. I’d put too many rules and restrictions on our relationship, and maybe she thought that I was ashamed of being with her.
No, I certainly wasn’t ashamed of Eliza, who she was or where she came from, but I could understand in hindsight what led her to those conclusions.
Hell, I hadn’t a clue what had happened, but as I stood her with these racing thoughts plaguing my mind, I knew one thing—Eliza and I had to talk.
I had a lot of questions, and I hoped she would have answers. If she didn’t want to be with me, I’d just have to understand.
Could I tell her about Poppy?
I wasn’t sure if how she’d handle that, and I realized then, if I hadn’t lost her yet, the kiss with Poppy would likely be the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with Eliza.
A knock interrupted my thoughts, and I echoed, “Come in,” as I clasped the final pin. I adjusted my tie as Edward entered my room at the palace.
“Little brother, it’s almost time for the gala. Are you ready?”
“Just in time, I’d say.” I swept my arms out in front of my uniform.
“Look at you, getting all suited up with your pins and medallions without Mum showing you where everything goes properly.”
“Yes, well, it's about time I learned how to dress myself,”I said as we both chuckled.
“Drew,” Edward said with a solemn voice. I could tell the conversation was going to take a serious turn. Could it be that he could read my thoughts or see the expression of my face? I wasn’t sure. But hell, anybody who was around me long enough should’ve been able to see that something was wrong with me. I hadn’t been myself as of late, and as much as I tried to fake things around Mum, even she noticed that I was hiding something. I’d upset her terribly yesterday when I arrived, but Maggie sure set my ass in line with her little chat.
“Yes?” I replied as I gave myself one more look, turning to see my backside.
“I’m worried about you.”
I didn’t want to look at him, so I pretended to pick lint from my uniform, all the while trying my best to avoid what was to follow.
“You seem different, like something is troubling you.”
His concerns were valid. I was different. The love of my life had broken my heart, leaving me with an emptiness that I didn’t know could exist. How could I not be different?
I didn’t want to talk about it, but I felt I had no choice; he had cornered me in my room. “Well, you know how university can change a chap.” I continued to look everywhere but at him.
“It seems more serious than just going off to university.”
I hated his tone. I hated that he could sense my emotions, and I didn’t want to get into it.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Can we just drop it?”
I was harsh with him, but I couldn’t help it. He was beginning to get into a territory that I dared not tread.
“No, we can't, Drew. This is serious.”
He walked over to my bed and sat. I could feel the tension in his body language, as if it was speaking long before his words were. I looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. I wanted to run away, like Eliza had done. I didn’t want to talk about my personal life with my big brother, but Edward had me cornered. I couldn’t blame the chap for his concern. Even I disliked my broody self as of late. I took a seat at my desk and listened to what he had to say.
“Look, what happens in your life is your business, I get that, Drew. This is serious. So much, in fact, that the headmaster called Mum a couple of weeks ago.”
Damn it, did he say what I thought he did?
“What the bloody hell for?” I yelled out before I realized the words had left my mouth.
“Calm down!” he chided as he stood.
“Just tell me what reason he would have to call. I’m in university, damn it. A grown man in my own right. I don’t need everyone calling my mum and bringing her into my business!” My voice boomed as I got up and walked to the window. Staring out at the barren trees and a dusting of snow made my life seem bleaker than it already was.
“Because you’ve changed, and we want to know why. Mum, myself, and Maggie are all very worried about you.”
“Well, you of all people shouldn’t even question me as to how life changes a person.”
The look on his face went from concern to hurt as I had just brought his teen antics into play. It was something I shouldn’t have done, but pain produced pain and hurt bred hurt.
“Yes, I know. I wasn’t an altar boy when I was your age, and I was by far worse than you are now...” He trailed off, and I felt the hurt in his voice.
“Edward, I’m sorry. I lashed out, and I shouldn’t have.”
My apology was sincere, but I didn’t want to discuss my personal life with anyone. I had always been a private person, keeping everything to myself even as a child. When Maggie was our tutor, she had a hard time getting me to open up about the tiniest of things. So my being closed off should come as no surprise to them now.
“It’s okay. I just want to find out what’s going on with you. I know you confided in Maggie, but she wouldn’t dare share anything with me.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. “How much do you know?” I dreadfully asked.
“That your grades have slipped tremendously, that you and Clayton were separated at school just before punches were thrown. The headmaster is concerned you’re having trouble with your friends.”
Oh shit, there it was. Why in the hell did everything have to do with my friends and what they thought?
“Your priorities change. Clayton and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of issues, and he’s a fucking bully. Riley follows him like a damn shadow, so yeah, I guess I don’t really seem to have many friends at the moment.”
Seeing the doubt in his eyes, I could tell that he wasn’t buying it.
“What were you and Clayton fighting about, Drew?”
“Nothing that is important now.” I cringed when I said the words, because there wasn’t anything more further from the truth. Eliza was all there was that was important.
“Don’t bullshit the bullshitter, little brother.”
“Words were said. Punches would have been thrown had others not intervened. It is what is.”
“There’s more to it, Drew.”
I shrugged as I walked to the bedroom door.
“Likely so, but that’s my business, big brother. Besides, we have a gala to attend, and this is Maggie’s big night. We wouldn’t want to upset your lovely lady.”
“Of course you’d be so low as to use my wife as an excuse to end our discussion.”
I needed to put some distance between Edward and myself. He would interrogate me for hours if I didn’t breakaway, and Maggie had already twisted enough of my dilemma out of me; I didn’t need my brother in my business too.
“Interrogation, you mean?”
He nodded and patted me on the back as he passed by. “Sorry, Drew. Worried is all. I’m here if you need to get anything off your chest.”
“I appreciate it, Edward. Let’s get to the ballroom before Maggie sends out a search party.
His looks, questions, and concerns for me were nothing compared to my questions and concerns about Eliza. After the ball, I’d find out what was going on and where exactly we stood. It was my mission to leave as soon I could make an escape. Eliza was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not.
18
Eliza
The ringing of my cell woke me out of a dead sleep. I was too groggy to look at the screen to see who was calling, so I just answered it without thought.
“Hello,” I managed to say with a slur.
“Hey,” Drew's voice said softly.
&
nbsp; I very quickly snapped out of my stupor and opened my eyes. “Hey.” It was all I could say. I was speechless. Why was he calling me? Where was he for that matter?
“What are you doing?” he asked me quietly.
“I was sleeping. What time is it?” I asked in return.
“It's just past midnight,” he said and paused.
There was an uncomfortable silence, but I didn’t know what to say. Had he hung up?
“Eliza?”
There he was.
“Yes?”
“I got your voicemail, and I really think that we need to discuss some things to see where this all stands.”
I wanted to, I really did, but it was of no use. I wasn't good enough for him, and there was nothing that could change that fact.
“Drew, I don't think that is a good idea,” I said, barely above a whisper, still trying to wake up.
“What? Eliza, you called me and asked if we could talk. I don't understand anything of what's going on, but I think that we at least owe each other one last conversation to explain what happened. Don't you?”
He sounded angry, although he was almost pleading with me, and his argument was legitimate. We did need to talk, even if it went nowhere; at least we could say that we tried to work things out.
“Okay. When?” I asked.
“Now,” he said quickly.
“Now? I'm in bed.”
“Eliza, please just talk to me.”
I’d been waiting all day to talk to him, and the fact that he’d blown me off stung, but I had to end this properly with answers as to where we went wrong.
“Okay, well where do you want to meet me?” I asked, hoping he'd say that it could wait until morning.
“How about your living room in thirty seconds?”
“What? Thirty seconds? How?” I asked in confusion.
“I'm outside of the building. Buzz me up, please.”
I rubbed my hand across my face to wake myself up. “Okay,” I whispered.
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