An overbearing weight pressed down on my head and shoulders. The matchmaker? Giselle was in a meeting with a matchmaker? I reached into my jacket pocket where I’d stuffed the ring and ran my fingers around the velvet-covered edges of the box. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was all pointless. There was no way that these people were going to let me anywhere near her again. Standing on the other side of the palace’s large, twisting iron-cast gates, it was clear that we were meant to be separated. I was a commoner. She was a princess. How did I ever think this would work out?
What did I hope to have happen? If I managed to get inside to propose to Giselle, and in the off chance that she said yes, what then? Would she leave her position as Crown Princess for someone like me? Would she leave behind her life of luxury just to slum it with a retired military doctor? I couldn’t even dream of giving her a life as lavish as the one she led now. I shook my head, leaning into the bitter taste that was coating my tongue. I was being too optimistic, too stupidly romantic and hopeful. Were Giselle and I doomed to be over before we’d even begun?
“Forget it,” I sighed as I turned on my heels to leave. “It doesn’t matter.”
I managed to take a couple of strides back down the path back to my car when a familiar voice cut in over the radio system.
“Did you say Pratchett?” asked Nathanial.
The guard spoke into his receiver. “Yes, sir.”
I halted, every muscle in my body rigid.
After what felt like an eternity, Nathanial finally barked, “Let him in. The king wishes to speak with him.”
Oh, no, I thought. No, wrong royal. This one will eat me alive.
The guard tossed his chin at me, curling a finger to beckon me back. “I’m to guide you inside, Lieutenant Commander. Right this way, please.”
“It’s okay. I don’t have to talk to the king. I’m sure he has more important things to do.”
“No one dares deny King Maximillian anything. To walk away now would be an insult. Is that what you want, Lieutenant Commander?”
I exhaled sharply through the mouth. “No. No it isn’t.”
“Then you’d better get a move on. Follow me.”
I tailed the guard closely, holding my breath as I crossed past the gate that had previously been closed. My fight or flight response was kicking in. On one hand, I was excited that I’d been allowed entry into the palace. Maybe I’d get the chance to see Giselle, after all. If I was quick, maybe I could tell her everything I’d ever wanted to say and ask her to marry me before the guards could drag me away. But on the other hand, I wanted to shrivel up into a tiny little ball and hide because oh dear God the king wanted to see me. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? He’d made it abundantly clear that Giselle and I couldn’t be together. Was he going to toss me into the dungeons for daring to see her? Surely not, right? I was a private citizen. Asking to see Giselle wasn’t a crime.
But then again, I wasn’t a king. There was no telling what was going on inside that man’s head.
I wasn’t taken to the throne room like I had been for the award ceremony. Instead, I was led through the winding halls of the palace to a private room somewhere in the heart of the building, hidden away from prying eyes. I did my best not to become overwhelmed by the sheer grandness of everything. From the windows to the countless crystal chandeliers to the priceless art pieces and polished marble floors, it was a lot to take in. My surroundings only reaffirmed that Giselle would be disappointed living the rest of her life with me. She lived in the lap of luxury, where I lived wherever and counted the smallest luxuries a blessing.
I was brought to some sort of study. The room had an octagonal shape to it, making it appear much larger and more open than it really was. On one side of the room, a large mahogany desk sat with an array of documents and books scattered about its surface. On the other side was a little sitting area, complete with a glass-top coffee table, matching side tables, and a chesterfield covered in gorgeous beige silk and accent pillow cushions. The walls were covered in a majestic royal blue and gold wallpaper that seemed to absorb all of the light that the single floor lamp in the far corner of the room emitted. The majority of the walls were covered by towering bookshelves, filled to the brim with all kinds of old hardcover texts.
When the door to the study closed behind me, it was only then that I realized someone was sitting in the large black leather recliner next to the sole window in the room. They were faced away from me, but I could recognize the top of King Maximillian’s head from a mile away. He didn’t bother to look up or turn to address me.
“What have you done to her?” he asked gravely, voice low and accusatory.
“Your Majesty, I–”
“She hasn’t been herself,” he cut me off. “For the past year, all she does is sulk and sigh when she thinks I’m not looking. So, I ask you again. What have you done to her?”
I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Your Majesty, I didn’t mean Giselle any harm. I just–”
King Maximillian slammed his hand down on the recliner’s armrest. “You just what? Seduced my daughter for the fun of it? I bet it was a real thrill for you, hm?”
“I love her, Your Majesty,” I stated firmly and confidently. “I know I’ll never live up to your expectations, but it’s the truth. I love Giselle more than I could ever hope to describe.”
King Maximillian turned the recliner around on its axle and set his jaw, glaring at me with those cold eyes of his. He looked a lot better since his visit to the hospital, although he did appear a more frail due to the treatments he’d been undergoing. His hair was thinning, bordering on going bald altogether. His eyes were red and a bit watery. His lips were chapped and cracking at the corners. King Maximillian continued to stare at me, as if in search for something. “Why did you come here today?” he asked.
I took a deep breath, reaching into my pocket to show him the ring box. “I had a question for her.”
“And you didn’t think to come and ask for my blessing first?”
“With all due respect, Your Majesty, I didn’t think I needed it.”
The king turned red in the face. “Who do you think you are, Pratchett? You’re awarded one stinking medal and suddenly you’ve got the balls to–” Overworked and overly upset, the king burst into a coughing fit. It sounded painful, but his airways eventually cleared up. A sheen of sweat covered his sticky brow, and his cheeks were blotching from the exertion. King Maximillian slumped in his chair and let out a defeated sigh. “You kids these days. You all think life is so simple.”
I took a step forward. “Your Majesty, all I want is to see Giselle happy.”
“As do I,” he grumbled. “Understand where I’m coming from, Pratchett. She is my only daughter. I love her more than anything. I see her success as my success. When she’s happy, I’m happy. I was once in her position too.”
“Let me guess. You chose your country over your own feelings?”
The king nodded gravely. “Free will is an illusion for people like us.”
“It doesn’t have to be, Your Majesty. I love Giselle, and I think she loves me too. I just want the chance to talk to her. To maybe ask for her hand in marriage. If she says no, then I’ll respect her wishes.”
“You will?”
I gritted my teeth together. My stomach had been doing a series of flips in my belly, threatening to make me lose what little breakfast I managed to scarf down before leaving. “I will,” I replied. “It’d break my heart, but at least I tried. At least I won’t go on with the rest of my life never knowing. If Giselle choose to marry someone else, I’ll pray that she’s happy with them.”
King Maximillian tilted his head to the side and stroked his chin, regarding me carefully. “You really mean that, don’t you? This isn’t some game to you.”
I nodded slowly. “Giselle isn’t a game to me, Your Majesty. Like you, her happiness is all I care for. I just hope that it’s with me.”
“You’re a
good man, doctor. I’m not just saying that because you saved my life. But just because you’re a good man, that doesn’t guarantee you’ll make a good husband. No matter which way you look at it, Giselle will become Queen. If she chooses you, you have to understand that your life as you know it will change. You will never know privacy. Everybody wants a piece of you. Everybody will want a piece of Giselle. But no matter what, your priority must always be her. There’s no backing away, no do overs.”
“Is this–” I gawked. “Are you… Are you giving me your blessing?”
King Maximillian shook his head slowly. “My daughter is stubborn. Just like me. If you think you can handle her, you’re even more stubborn than either of us. But remember, it’s her choice. If she says no, you will leave her alone forever.”
I sighed in relief. “Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you.”
“Have Nathanial show you to the gardens. I’ll send her your way.”
22
Giselle
I stormed out of my meeting with Lucinda like someone lit a fire behind me. I was determined to speak with Father. I needed to say my piece and prove to him that I knew my heart better than anyone. Never in my life had I asked for something as big and important as this. Father had to hear me out at the very least. I deserved more than a few minutes to discuss my future with him. No interruptions, no Nathanial butting in. This was my life we were talking about, and I wanted to live it without any regrets. The palace was so huge that I wound up having to ask a couple of house attendants about Father’s whereabouts. When one of them mentioned that he was resting in his study, recently back from the hospital for his chemotherapy session, I headed right on over to the north wing.
Nathanial was standing outside Father’s study, looking to me almost expectantly. He bowed his head respectfully as I approached and said, “He’s been waiting for you.”
I raised a curious eyebrow. “Has he?”
“He’s not feeling so well, Princess. So please be patient with him.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Nathanial.”
Father’s private secretary opened the door for me and allowed me to enter, closing it behind me just as quickly. It was a bit stuffy in the room and overly warm, but I wasn’t about to complain. One glimpse at Father and I could tell that he was chilly, no doubt as a result of his treatments. He was sitting in his favorite recliner in a little nest of woolen blankets. It pained me to see him so frail, but the doctors assured me that he was making good and steady progress. Even though he looked a little ill, I could tell that he was putting on weight again, which I was promised was a very good sign.
“Ah, there’s my princess,” he chuckled. “Feeling hungry? I had the cook downstairs bring up some biscuits and tea.”
I nodded and took my seat across from Father on the other side of the glass coffee table where a silver serving tray had been placed. A steaming teapot and matching teacups of fine china were laid out, and a three-tiered serving platter was resting in the center with an assortment of sweet treats that were perfect for dunking. I was glad Father was snacking again. For a good little while there, he hadn’t had much of an appetite. He reached for the teapot and shakily poured me a cup.
“Father,” I started slowly, making sure to keep my voice soft and gentle. “I wanted to speak with you about something important.”
“As do I,” he said. Father sounded exhausted. I was beginning to feel increasingly guilty for wanting to bring up my issue with the arranged marriage to him. It was a sore spot, a difficult subject that would surely upset him. The last thing I wanted was to have Father overstressed, especially in his frail condition. “I know you don’t agree with any of the matches,” he continued slowly. “But have you really given this some thought? Have you actually even looked at the benefits?”
“Lucinda and I went over everything in great detail.”
“And? What is your decision?”
I sat with my back as straight as a board, clearing my throat before I spoke. “They’re all horrible options for me, Father. No matter how I look at it, taking one of your proposed candidates as a husband would only hinder me as a queen.”
Much to my surprise, Father didn’t look upset in the slightest. He simply sipped at his tea, looking as comfortable as ever as if this were a conversation about the weather. “Go on. Tell me more.”
“Prince Wilson has terrible spending habits,” I explained. “It’s not common knowledge, but I can tell just by looking at his picture. He may be very wealthy, but that doesn’t mean he’s financially responsible. If I married him and he reigned beside me, I think he’d spend Idolia into ruin.”
“What of Prince David?”
“He’s a coward.”
Father smirked. “That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?”
I shook my head. “Do you know what he did when the Pramorian Empire first attacked Weles?”
“Enlighten me, Princess.”
“Prince David was the first to flee. He left his family and his people behind, undefended, so that he could hide in safety at our port city. He has openly stated that he’s willing to give the Pramorian Empire whatever they want so long as they spare his life. How could I possibly think to take him as a husband? He’s selfish, to say the least. His people are in danger, and all he cares about is himself? If I were to have him as a husband, how easily would he throw me under the bus should something awful happen? I need a man who will be strong by my side no matter what.”
“And what of Prince Harold? Surely an alliance for the sake of peace and Idolia’s security is as good a reason as any to consider the arrangement.”
I shook my head again. “Prince Harold is a warmonger. He’s aggressive; he’s boorish. Marrying him would only create a temporary peace. I’m sure that if he wanted, he’d use our alliance as an excuse to absorb Idolia as part of the Empire. I’d never stand for it. In addition, Lucinda happened to mention rumors floating around that he’s been known to be quite cruel to some of his ex-girlfriends. It’s believed that his family has spent a good fortune keeping these women silent. I can only imagine what sorts of things he gets up to behind closed doors. Quite frankly, I never want to find out.”
Father nodded slowly, appearing to drink in every word as he casually sipped at his tea. His eyes slowly closed as he contemplated my arguments. “Then what do you suggest we do, Princess?”
I placed my teacup down on the coffee table before me and folded my hands together, resting them neatly on my lap. I took a deep breath, using the brief pause to collect all my thoughts and to will my heart to steady. “I want to be a good daughter. I want to do what you tell me to and make you proud. I also want to be a good Queen. I hope that our people can live long, happy lives in peace. I want nothing more than to see them prosper. It’s going to be hard work, I know. That’s what you’ve been preparing me for all these years. A year ago, the idea of taking up your throne scared me. It seemed like a lot of responsibility, and it looked incredibly stressful. But I’m tired, Father. I don’t want to have to choose between duty and my heart.”
“This is about the doctor, isn’t it.” He said this like a statement, not a question. Father was always sharper than the rest, could always tell where I was trying to lead him.
I nodded. “I know you don’t approve. But Leo’s a good man. I… I love him. I know he isn’t rich. I know he has no valuable political influence. But I think he’d treat me right. I think he’s the kind of man who would support me. He’s the kind of man who would challenge me—in a good way—if I needed a second opinion. He’s the kind of man who wouldn’t run away and think only of himself. If I’m going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want to know they’ll care for me as much as I care for them.”
“And you think Leo is this person?”
“I really do. And I know you might be disappointed. But I feel like we could rule Idolia together and be good for both the nation and each other.” I huff, trying to clear my dizzied mind. “So, there. That’s
all I’ve got. I don’t really know what to do or say now. I just wanted you to know how I honestly felt.”
Father finished off his tea, gulping down the warm liquid. “Let me ask you a question, Princess.”
“Of course.”
“Does my opinion matter?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I weren’t here, if I weren’t the one pushing for your marriage to foreign princes, would you have agreed to marry Leo if he proposed?”
“Your opinion always matters to me, Father.”
“But if I wasn’t in the equation, would you marry Leo?”
I swallowed hard. “In a heartbeat.”
A beat of silence fell over us, allowing my words to simmer in my ears. I was genuinely surprised when my father broke out into a wide smile. I hadn’t seen him this content in months.
“I’m proud of you, Giselle,” he said.
“Y-you are?”
“I was worried that you weren’t going to be ready to take over as Queen, but you’ve just proven to me that you have what it takes to lead.”
“I did?”
“Being a ruler of a nation is hard work. There are laws you need to memorize, advisors you need to consult. But at the end of the day, being able to trust your gut and make your own decisions despite what everybody else is telling you can be the difference between being an average Queen to a great one.” Father set his cup down. “I was hesitant before. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you and your judgement, but that I didn’t trust Leo. You have to understand that from where I’m sitting, he’s the man trying to take my little girl away.”
I leaned forward, eager. “He’s not taking me away, Father. I’ll be here, just like always.”
“I know, Princess. I know.”
A massive wave of relief flooded through me. “So, what now?” I asked, breathy and unsure. My whole body was tense, as though I were sitting on eggshells and one wrong move would destroy everything.
Father grinned. “There’s actually a visitor waiting for you in the gardens.”
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