by J. J. McAvoy
Matt and the rest were like targets, and I had taken one down and was ready to move on to the next.
I was ready to kill again.
I wanted to kill again.
It was wrong, but it was justice, my justice, just like Melody had said. I felt like I had been in the dark for so long, locked away from the rest of the world, and now I was a step closer to being free; to running wild with the other monsters.
“I killed a man tonight, Neal,” I whispered as we danced, and I felt him freeze.
He pulled back and his hazel eyes stared into mine, as if he would be able to tell from just looking at me. He frowned before pulling me away from the dance floor. He didn’t speak¸ yet somehow, everyone knew to get out his way. He didn’t stop until we were outside with the driver.
“Mr. Callahan…”
“Keys,” he snapped at the man. “NOW!”
The man checked all over himself before grabbing the keys and handing them to Neal. Opening the door for me, he slammed it shut before sitting in the driver’s seat. When they said zero to sixty in three seconds, they weren’t kidding. He slammed down on the gas so hard you would think we were drag racing.
“Say something Neal, please,” I begged him.
He didn’t. He just sat, rubbing his lip with the back of his thumb as he drove further and further down the road.
Déjà vu, I thought as I looked out into the night sky.
He only stopped when we were in front of the mansion. Sighing, he leaned back against the seat. “I’m going to figure a way to get you out,” he whispered, taking my hand.
“What?”
He kissed my hand. “I thought if we just laid low, if we did what they asked, then eventually we would all learn to live with one another. But they keep crossing the line! Melody had no right to force you to do anything involving the business. She’s morphed Coraline into this bloodthirsty kitten over the last few months, and now she’s trying to fuck with you. I may not be able to kill her, but I will protect you. I will not have her corrupt you any more than I already do on a daily basis. She’s crossed the fucking line!”
I don’t deserve him.
“She was helping me,” I whispered, trying my best fight back the tears that were forming, but it was in vain; it burned as they blinded me.
“Helping you?” he snapped. “This is how she helps you? She makes everyone into a monster so she can feel better about herself. She’s sick! She is…”
“Helping!” I yelled back, wiping my eyes.
Just rip off the bandage.
“I was…” I stammered, “I killed one of the men who raped me. I shot him, until there were no bullets left. I got a tire iron and smashed his head, over and over again. Then Melody helped me throw his body off the cliff and change my clothes. I’d do it again. I will do it again! She was helping me! She’s helped me get rid of one of my demons, Neal.”
It all came out as he stared at me, as if he didn’t know what to say or where to start.
“You were…” He couldn’t even it say it.
“Raped. R-A-P-E-D. I was forced into a room by a group of assholes in college and raped again and again and again before they got tired of me and left. I think about it daily, and I hate myself. I was raped. No one knew. Not you, not Evelyn. Not my even my parents.”
“But you told Melody?” He was trying to stay calm, but he was shaking as much as I was.
“She makes you talk!” I said. “You look into her eyes and you know she can walk into the darkest part of your mind and still manage to smile for a photo. I don’t know why I told her. I was trying to bow to the fucking queen like you said. I wanted her to understand! She did. She understood better than anyone else. She found one of them.”
“I could have done that!” he roared at me. “I would have gladly done worse than that five years ago when I married you! I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me!”
“Because I was ashamed, because I wanted to deny it, because you would have killed them.” I stopped, thinking about the last part. “I…I…needed to kill them myself.”
That was what I needed.
We sat there, tense, for what seemed like hours, just staring at the house.
“Next time, bash their heads in while they’re alive and then shoot them,” Neal whispered. “The longer they suffer, the better.” He took my hand again.
The stupid tears wouldn’t go away.
“Okay,” was all I could think to say.
“And I will be there when we find the others.”
“Okay.”
“I’m staying. I love you, and you can tell me anything, always. I’m going to be there, and Melody can go screw herself.”
“I love you too. And I’m going to tell her you said that.”
He paled, and I wanted to have that effect on men one day…even my husband.
THREE
“You should have died when I killed you.”
—John le Carré
MELODY
“What are you hiding from me, Liam?” I asked, as we danced in the middle of the ballroom.
He pulled me closer to him. “I could say the same for you, love.”
“True, but I’m discussing those secrets with family, not outsiders.” I searched around for the blonde he had spoken to, but she had disappeared and no one else seemed to notice or even care. She wasn’t somebody with title or fame, but either had or knew something of worth to be able to speak with Liam privately.
“Are you jealous, love?” He squeezed my ass. “Because you shouldn’t be. I love you and you alone.”
“That’s the fifth ‘I love you’ you’ve said tonight. I’m really going to kill you once I find out what you did, aren’t I?” I said calmly. I would remain so until he gave me a reason not to be. I truly wanted to beat the shit out of him until he told me, but the sick fuck would more than likely enjoy it.
He sighed. “You, love, may just kill me when I tell you.”
“Liam…”
He kissed me so hard and passionately, he all but lifted me from the ground.
“After the gala,” he whispered as his eyes begged me to drop it, “okay? After the gala?”
I didn’t like this. I didn’t like this at all. Whatever he was hiding, that made him act like this—like I was a time bomb waiting to explode—was probably going to make me do just that.
“Do you ever wish you could be like them?” he asked, nodding at the political interns helping with Senators Colemen’s campaign. They were all around the same age, if not older, than us.
“You mean do I wish my life was filled with nothing but exams and school, getting a degree I won’t use for a job I hate, and student loans I can’t pay off? A life of binge drinking, and horrible sex that I think is good because of the binge drinking?” I looked them over. “No, I don’t wish I could be them. It sucks to be them. That’s why they’re here, hoping that if they stand close enough, and say the right things, they have a chance to escape their shitty lives.”
“Don’t hold back, love, it’s not in your nature.” He laughed, spinning me around before bringing me back to him. “You’ve never wished your life was simple?”
“It is. I get what I want and if you stand in my way, I will wipe you off the face of the earth, then go after everyone who shares your DNA. Simple.” I smiled.
He smirked as well. “Now you’re just trying to turn me on.”
“You’re always waiting to be turned on.” Proving my point, I pushed my breasts up against him and I could feel him hardening against my stomach.
“Did you get a smaller gun?” I asked, trying to feel around for it.
He moaned as I grabbed him through his pants, squeezing tightly before pulling away. I was having so much fun toying with him tonight. His green eyes glared at me as I turned to Sedric and Evelyn cutting into their dance.
“Evelyn, do you mind if I cut in? Liam wishes to dance with you.”
Evelyn eyed me carefully, as if she could read my damn mi
nd. The woman had her own set of superpowers, I swore.
Shaking her head at me, she kissed Sedric before turning to Liam who glared at me evilly.
“Watch out, Sedric has two left feet. It’s taken me years to work around it.” She winked before taking her son’s hands.
“She exaggerates.” Sedric huffed, offering me his hand.
“I’m sure, just don’t step on my toes.” If he did, I would ram my heel into his knee.
“I will do my best, your highness.” He laughed, looking around the room. “I must say, your plan for this country is worrying me.”
“Why, because it’s possible?” I asked.
He nodded. “Exactly. I would have settled for a Supreme Court judge. But, then again, I no longer have that type of power.”
“No, you do not.” He always seemed to forget. “My father gave up power because he was dying. Why did you? You’re young…enough, and you don’t seem to be dying.”
“You know the answer to that.” He sighed, looking over to Evelyn. “This was never supposed to be my life. I saw what my father did for a living and he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it like you and Liam enjoy it. He saw that and only forced me to work harder. I never understood why my older brother was going to take over.”
I already knew this but let him speak anyway.
“He died young,” he whispered sadly. “We all die young. He was around your age then. I had just turned eighteen and met Evelyn. We fell hard for each other. Any moment I could find, I was with her, which in turn led to her getting pregnant with Neal. My plan was for us to take my inheritance and live on some remote island somewhere. But, when my brother died, I had to step forward. I hated the life with a passion.”
“And now you can’t let go.”
He was good at what he did. The stories of young Sedric were the things that nightmares were made of.
“It’s like a possession,” he whispered. “It crawls into your soul and takes root. You have no control over it. You allow it to grow, because it helps. It’s the reason you can let blood flow across the floor like fine wine and not flinch. It helps you become the monster you need to be. The only side effect is that it’s always there. No amount of holy water can wash it off. So there’s no letting go. I will forever be who I allowed myself to be, and the person I allowed myself to be enjoys the chaos.”
Truer words were never spoken.
“Evelyn must love hearing about that.”
“She understands. There are two halves of me, always at odds with each other, but she always wins out.” He chuckled glancing back at her.
“True love conquers all,” I mocked, rolling my eyes before glaring at Liam.
“So, why are you torturing my son?” he asked as we danced much slower than everyone else.
“Because he’s keeping things from me. Important things you wouldn’t happen to know anything about, would you, my dear father-in-law?” I looked into his eyes and he raised an eyebrow at me.
“So now I see that my thoughts are worth something?” he questioned.
“Yes, now they are. So again, what do you know?” I hated when people made me repeat myself, why waste words?
“Nothing, dear daughter-in-law,” he replied, spinning me around a little awkwardly, but I adjusted. “Which bothers me, seeing as how Liam was speaking to Interpol.”
I stopped. “Repeat that last part again.”
He froze, realizing that he did in fact know something that I didn’t.
“Sedric, now is the time to use more words, not less.” I dug my nails into his arm.
“Anna, the blonde woman he spoke with upon entering, she’s family—or ex-family. Liam’s second cousin, her parents planned to betray the family, my father killed them. Anna was given money, but no connections and went into…”
“I don’t give a shit about who she is or how she came into being. I want to know why the fuck Liam is speaking to Interpol.” Now I was pissed, pulling myself away from him, I turned towards Liam and his mother.
They were speaking causally, but after tonight, they wouldn’t be speaking at all if he didn’t tell me what I wanted to know.
“Once again, Evelyn, I’m so sorry,” I cut in, glaring into Liam’s eyes. “But it seems your son and I need to have a little chat.”
Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Please don’t make a scene, dear. The press.”
“Of course, there are private rooms here, correct?” I didn’t even wait for her to answer. Instead, I brushed past Liam and towards the grand staircase.
I could feel him, his warmth, and the heat rolling off him as he followed me. Opening one of the doors, I let him in first.
He looked me in the eyes before stepping inside. Sadly, the sight of Coraline riding Declan with her head thrown back and his face buried in her chest kissing her breasts, greeted us.
“OUT!” I yelled, causing them both to jump.
Coraline shot off him and pulled the sheet around herself quickly, her brown eyes wide and shocked.
Declan on the other and was livid. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is the first time we’ve been this close to each other in months!”
“This is me giving a fuck. Get out, or I swear, Declan, I will feed you your own dick.”
“You should go.” Liam sighed, looking for a mini bar.
Declan grumbled.
“Now.”
“I’m going! For the love of Christ, Liam, did you tell her already?” he yelled, grabbing his boxers.
Liam groaned loudly. “Why is it that you and Neal can’t seem to keep your goddamn mouths shut! What is she made of, Kryptonite? The moment she comes by the both of you can’t hold water? When I say shut the fuck up, that means shut your bitch-ass up!”
He told his cousin…before me?
“Declan, sit back down, you too, Coraline. Both of us may be widows at the end of the evening.”
Declan stood up, but I pulled a gun on him and he sat back down.
“Somebody better start explaining before I start shooting.” I waited and neither of them spoke. “Have you people been setting me up?”
“What the hell, Melody, seriously?” Liam said.
“Well you see, things aren’t adding up for me, Liam. You’re talking to people; you’re talking to the police. Tell me to my face, you bastards. Have you been playing me for a fool? You’re setting me up, aren’t you?”
He just stared at me dumbfounded…and hurt. “You really think after everything we’ve been through that I would betray you? You’re my wife.”
“Think of it as a compliment. I know how much you like power, Liam. With me out of the way, you could take—”
“We found your mother,” he snapped at me, as his nostrils flared. “I had Declan back-hack you, he was deleting and rewriting codes as you searched because I wanted to be sure what we were dealing with before sending you down the goddamn rabbit hole. I was trying to protect you because I was worried about what this would do to you; how this would hurt you. Everything I do is for you, and you think I would sell out? For what? Power I already have?”
I looked back to Declan who now stood with Coraline behind him, neither moving, nor daring to speak.
Slowly, my hand lowered as I tried to think.
“My mother was killed in a plane crash by the Valero.”
“You mother, goes by the name Aviela DeRosa, and she controlled the Valero, or at least your grandfather did as part of the DeRosa Family. She’s a pit bull for him, a hired gun. Here,” he pulled out a flash drive, “It’s a list of every last person she’s killed. Your mother, is a cold-blooded killer. You grandfather, is a Mafia Boss, and they knew about you, yet still they had the Valero come after us. Most likely, he sent them after us. Now that the Valero is gone, who knows who will come next?” He snapped.
My mind was spinning.
“You should have told me,” I whispered, trying to think, but I was drawing a blank. “You were fucking out of line! How dare you Liam! Who the hell do you think you are?”
“You think you know me! What, after only a year? Screw you, Liam Callahan. I am who I am because I made myself this way. I had a right to know! But instead, you went behind my back like a two bit crack-headed bitch.” My whole body shook, all I could see was red.
“I went behind your back because I wanted to come to you with all of the information, not half of it. Why? Because I knew you would overact!”
He thought I was overreacting?
“This is me overreacting,” I hissed, pointing my gun at him.
“Mel—”
I fired.
Fuck him! Fuck them all.
FOUR
“Honestly, I don’t understand why people get
so worked up about a little murder!”
—Patricia Highsmith
LIAM
“BITCH!” I yelled, as I grabbed my thigh. This was the second time this woman—this goddamn cursed wife of mine—had shot me. The bullet grazed my inner thigh, but it still hurt like a motherfucker…damn her. If it weren’t for her damn silencer, the whole goddamn hotel would have heard. I had noticed both Declan and Coraline make their escape.
“Now you have a matching set.” She glared, and without thinking, I lunged for her legs like a damned linebacker¸ forcing her to the ground and pinning her arms down.
“You’re getting on my last damn nerve woman!” I hollered as she clawed at me.
“I could say the same about you!”
“I swear to God almighty, if you do not calm the fuck down, I will beat the shit out of you.” Great now I sounded like a wife beater. However, she wasn’t any woman, she was Melody. Even the devil pitied me.
