by Sam Ryder
“How did you find out they died?” Gehn asked.
“I never did,” I said. “I not for certain. They lived a couple states over. Knowing what I know about the Blast and its impact, though, there’s no chance they survived.”
“You never tried to go find them?” Hannah asked.
“Of course I did,” I said. “I tried to travel overland to find them, but I never made it. The further I got, the worse things were, both the state of the land and the people. Had a few run-ins with some crazy folks that survived out in the middle of nowhere. None were friendly. Everyone was suspicious of everyone else. Knowing my family as well as I did, I knew they wouldn’t survive. The whole temperament of the people changed. Everyone went crazy for those first years. My wife wasn’t that kind of person. She never had an unkind word to say about another. If the Blast didn’t kill them, somebody else did.”
I cleared my throat, fighting back the well of emotion threatening to boil over. “Once I accepted that, I made peace with the idea they were gone. I still carry them with me, but I know that they’re not here anymore. I like to think of them, honor their memory, but I’m alone now. I deal with that directly.”
“Directly”. As direct as scotch can be.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore?” Gehn asked. “It hurts to think about my family. That pain never goes away.”
“Yours may be even worse because you witnessed the violence. My imagination could make things worse, but I’ve managed to picture them taken in the blink of an eye. I cannot believe they suffered or I’ll go crazy.”
That was another lie. I don’t know what the Blast was like because I protected myself. I worried that it was excruciating for them. Maybe they died quickly, or maybe they suffered horribly. I would never know.
And the fact that I couldn’t do a damn thing about that weighed on my shoulders.
“Besides, it was a good lesson for me to learn. Everybody loses somebody. Everyone here in the Ends has dealt with loss. I’m not the only one. Shit, the ones who made it through the blast were the exceptions, not the rule, right? At some point, you become numb to this whole reality.”
Gehn looked up at the sky. “I guess you’re right,” she said. “Maybe I was just so young when the Blast hit, I still struggle to deal with it. I was a happy kid, you know? We both were.”
Hannah had been silent this whole conversation, and she remained silent now. This entire time I was thinking Gehn was the onion, the one with all the layers slowly being peeled back, but I was beginning to rethink my initial assessment.
“If there’s one thing I know about the Ends, it’s that anything can be wiped away in a split second,” I said. “Losing my family was the first hard lesson I had to learn. Think about what life was like in the old world. If you got sick, you went to a doctor. Old people had medicines that kept them going for years after they started going downhill. If you had an accident or an injury, you could call someone to help you out. Now? There’s no 911. There are no doctors. People don’t have the resources anymore to fix you up when something goes sideways. If you die, you die. I had to learn that, and that’s why I am who I am.”
“Do you think about them?” Hannah finally asked.
I met her eyes, trying to read her expression but failing. She would be a helluva poker player. “Sure,” I admitted. “But I don’t let it hurt me anymore. If you get hurt by everything, you won’t last long in the Ends. I’ve seen people lose their minds out here. Survival is about getting tough. It’s about hardening up. You don’t have to like it. I take no joy in being this way. But it’s the way I have to be if I want to survive.”
“That’s why you keep to yourself,” Gehn said.
“Yeah. It’s easier to lose something if you’re not attached to it. I’d rather just take care of myself than get emotionally crippled when something is taken from me. We lose things all the time out here. I just don’t get that affected by it anymore.” More lies. The truth was I had nothing left to lose, except perhaps Chuck. The only problem:
Now I was worried about losing these women. Yes, they’d both been lovers, but my bond with them was growing well beyond just sex. They were important to me now.
Shit. It was exactly what I was worried about.
The fire popped. A few sparks shot into the air, punctuating the end of the conversation. It was enough of an end for me. I was done talking about it.
“What are you?” Hannah asked.
I didn’t understand the question. “Come again?”
She held out her wrist. “I’m a First, or at least was a First. And I know what that means. I know where I fit in society. I want to change that, but it’s the reality. Gehn is an Ender. I know where she fits in society, too. You’re not an Ender. You don’t wear any bracelet or belong to any group. What are you? Where do you fit?”
I laughed. “I don’t fit anywhere. I’m like a puzzle piece that doesn’t have a puzzle.”
“No, I get that. But if you did...whose side would you be on?”
I waved her off. “I don’t bother with that nonsense. It took me all of five minutes after seeing someone wearing one of those bracelets to think, ‘Yeah, this is stupid.’ I was offered one once, by your buddy, Elias. A Second. I’m not one for brains, but I got plenty of brawn. He wanted me on his payroll, a regular enforcer. I turned him down cold. All the bracelets do is empower the Firsts to feel like they’re the king shit of society. They want to put people in boxes and then use that against them. It’s so fucking stupid, I can’t see straight when I think about it. That’s why I haven’t been to Rome in years. Too many Guild members hanging around there, strutting their shit. I stick to that crappy outpost because there, nobody cares what the hell’s on your wrist.”
Gehn hung her head. “They care if you’re an Ender, though.”
She was right. For all the talk about how I stayed at that outpost because of the nonjudgmental clientele, they were just as bad as anywhere else with Enders. She still had to hide. It was stupid.
“Well, I don’t agree with that mentality,” I said. “And that’s why I put a bullet in that guy. Pieces of shit are in every society. They kill Enders every day, right?” Gehn nodded. “Are they all innocent bystanders like you?”
“No,” she said. “Some are pieces of shit, too. But that’s why we’re doing this, right? I want that to change.”
I exhaled. “So do I,” I said. “I didn’t want to before. Dealing with all these assholes over the past few days made me realize that there’s too much of it out there. There’s more bad than good. I don’t like that. That has to change if any of us wants to make it much longer.”
“It sounds like you’re in this for more than just the money,” Hannah said with a knowing smile.
Damn. She was right. “Maybe I am,” I said.
Hannah and Gehn exchanged a knowing look. They weren’t saying something, but I didn’t ask. Sisters could have their secrets.
Hannah used a long stick to spread the fire out and allow it to smolder down to nothing. We packed our supplies back onto the wagon. Their was leftover meat and we salted it and packed it up tight. It was time to cover some more ground now that we had full stomachs, while the night was still providing some cover.
I helped the two women back onto the wagon, then called Chuck to jump in.
As we moved along, I wondered if I really was avoiding attachment anymore. These women depended on me, and I depended on them, too, which was something new to me. I genuinely wanted to help them. I stood up for them several times. I’d taken shots to the head, injuries to my limbs... just to help them out. If I stayed back at The Last Stop, I’d have a lot fewer bruises on my body, but I’d feel a lot less fulfilled.
The more I learned about the Ends, however, the more I realized that these women were not alone. The wastelands were full of bullshit, and somebody needed clean it up so we could all move forward together.
It might as well be us.
And if Gehn’s dream turned out to have so
me validity—I couldn’t believe I was actually considering it a possibility—then why couldn’t it be us.
Either that, or we’d die trying. But it would be a good death, an honorable one, something that was always important to someone like me. A soldier.
Chapter 20
Bath time
“Whoa!” I called to the mule, pulling his harness to stop him.
We had traveled for several hours without event. The night was beginning to fade, the sun peeking over the horizon. Soon it would be daylight and we would need to make camp somewhere out of sight from day travelers who might spy us. The air was getting warm, but the breeze kept sweat from sticking to our bodies. It also had the added benefit of keeping the stench from my clothes from settling into my nostrils.
Still, we all grew weary of the stink. I had been regularly scanning the terrain for a water source.
Thankfully, we had found an oasis in the middle of the wasteland.
Water was sometimes scarce in the wilderness, but it did still exist. Mossy ground, which added a little bit of color and pop to the view, often surrounded it. So much brown covered the land otherwise. Green felt positively vibrant.
The moss made it easier to spot. Hannah had been the first to identify a patch of green just south of us, so we took a small detour to check it out.
The oasis was a sight to behold. A bunch of rocks surrounding a fresh body of water, burbling up from the ground. I was thrilled.
“All right, you two can do what you want. I’m hitting the showers,” I announced.
“Please do,” Hannah joked. “Take your time washing up. I’d rather not smell you. Like ever again.”
“Do you mind if I take Chuck for a walk?” Gehn asked. “We’ve been riding for a while. I want to stretch my legs. I’m sure he does too.”
A great idea. Chuck, for his age, still had boundless energy. He could hike for days. Riding on the wagon drove him crazy. All he wanted to do was run around. I needed my rest, but Chuck needed to run.
“I’d appreciate that, thanks,” I told her. “Try to stay close though, yeah.” It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her to fend for herself—not after what had happened in Geneva—but that didn’t mean I wanted her to have to do it. Plus, if enough men surrounded her…
The thought made me sick to my stomach.
Thankfully, she agreed. She called Chuck, who had taken a liking to her. She asked if Hannah wanted to go too, but Hannah declined. Gehn and the dog hopped off the wagon and trotted off.
I dropped my jacket and boots into the wagon and hobbled over to the water, stretching out my legs and arms as I went. A huge rock reflected off the surface. I peeled my gore-soaked shirt off. I tossed it into the water, and it floated aimlessly. A good soak would help it.
Unbuttoning my pants, I turned to Hannah, who was still sitting in the wagon.
“Enjoying the view?”
She smiled devilishly. “It’s okay,” she said nonchalantly.
I pulled my pants down and tossed them next to the shirt. Lifting my arms to the sky, I stretched my limbs again, listening to my muscles creak with every twist.
My knee shook as the tendon stretched out. The pain had dulled with the extra rest I had gotten on the ride, despite the bumpiness.
A breeze lapped at my skin, cooling it.
Being naked gave me a freeing feeling. I wasn’t naked too often because of how vulnerable it left one in the Ends. Hannah whistled and I turned, covering myself. She booed. “You think this show is free?” I said, joking.
She played along, tossing a few coins off the wagon in my direction.
I uncovered myself and she cheered.
Laughing, I turned and eased myself into the water. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t hot, either. I leaned my head back and floated, letting the first rays of sun kiss every inch of my body.
I dunked my clothing in the water, swishing it around a bit. I agitated the clothes as much as I could to work the water through the fibers of the fabric—and hopefully get some of the stink out.
Then I rubbed down my own body a bit, massaging the soreness in my muscles and releasing some of the residue from the beast’s shattered eye that stuck to my skin. Pulling my leg up, I stretched my bad knee more, trying to loosen up that tendon.
Once everything was as clean as could be expected, I laid out the clothes on the big rock to catch some sun. The air was warm, so they would dry shortly. The whole ordeal hadn’t taken more than ten minutes.
I leaned back again, letting the water take all the pressure off my joints—especially my knee. Then I opened my eyes. Hannah stood over the water, her arms crossed.
“Like what you see?” I joked again. She bit her lip. It was sexy as hell.
“What’s your plan until your clothes dry?” she asked.
I smiled back at her. “Hell if I know,” I said. “These rocks provide a bit of cover for us. We could spend the day here, get some sleep. For now, I’ll just float around.”
“Want some company?” she asked, moistening her lips with her pink tongue.
“Is Gehn still on her walk?”
She glanced behind her. “Oh yeah,” she replied. “She and Chuck are way off in the distance. I can see them. They’re fine.”
“I wouldn’t mind sharing the pond,” I said coolly.
Hannah dropped her jacket on a rock. Her cut-off tank top revealed her taut midriff, as smooth as the rocks beneath the water’s surface. I could see her nipples through the thin white fabric, two dark spots cresting the symmetrical mounds of her breasts. With a grin, she grabbed the base of the tank and pulled it over her head inch by tantalizing inch, her breasts finally popping free, revealing erect nipples. I sat on a rock just below the water to await her entrance into the spring.
She spun around and bent over while she dragged her pants down, letting me get a fantastic view of her ass in the emerging sunlight. She laughed and turned back around, splashing into the water, which lapped at her pussy.
Hell, we were alone, out in the middle of nowhere. I doubted we’d get a chance to do this once we reached Rome. Plus, we had plenty of bad shit to chase away. Call it sex therapy. We both clearly needed it. The only thing that could’ve made it better was if Gehn had stayed to participate.
She sank into the water diving beneath the surface in the deep section. When she emerged, she slicked her hair back away from her face. Then she swam over to me, not hesitating to slide up between my legs, resting her hips on the smooth rock. I was growing at this point, just from the sight of her and the show she’d put on. I didn’t hesitate to grab her from behind, relishing her smooth, hard glutes, pulling her closer until she was straddling me. I stood up and she wrapped her legs around my waist tightly. My manhood was fully erect now, pressed between us. I kissed her once on the lips, and she arched her back.
I lifted her higher and then let her slide down, repeating the motion several times, which made us both go a little crazy from the stroking sensation. On the final lift, I secured my arms under her ass to hold her up high enough that her head was above mine. That left her tits at mouth level, droplets of water cascading off them.
Hannah moaned as I ran my tongue between her breasts, lapping the water off her skin. I drifted to the left, circling her nipple. Her body quivered, aching for me to suck on her. I finally gave her what she wanted, and she squeezed her thighs tighter, clutching me so hard I almost couldn’t catch my breath.
Meanwhile, my cock rose in the water, rubbing against her smooth skin as I lowered her back into the water.
I cocked my hips back and she slid right onto my cock, engulfing every inch with her heat. Her breasts bobbed in the water. She sank further down and rode me, the water splashing around us as our coordinated motion became more vigorous.
We sped up, each gasping with each thrust. I pulled us both over to a large rock and leaned my back against it. Pushing off the wall behind me with my feet, I thrust into her harder, and she screamed, arching her back once more.
<
br /> Her tits leapt out of the water, making me even harder. I thrust even harder, which only increased the volume of her screams. “Don’t stop,” she said. As if I would even consider it. “Don’t stop fucking me.”
She grabbed the rock behind me and propped her feet up. I dropped mine down to steady myself on the shallow floor of the pond. She rapidly bounced her ass on my thighs, slapping her skin against mine while riding me like a bucking bronco. The alternating coolness of the water and the heat from being inside her was a unique feeling.
At this point, the resistance from the water was slowing me down. I lifted her out of the water and onto one of the other rocks. I pushed her down chest first, bending her over the edge. She squealed with delight and reached back to spread the sides of her pussy to make it easier for me to enter her from behind. I pressed my penis inside her again, beginning to thrust.
My hips slapped loudly against her ass. I watched her skin turn pink from the intensity of the contact.
She stood up and reached behind her head to pull my head in close. I kissed her neck while she rubbed her clit, giving way to her own knee-shaking orgasm. She practically melted in my arms.
She turned back around. “Did you finish?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Jesus, you have some stamina,” she said.
“I may not be a First,” I said. “But I have other talents.”
“Can’t argue with that,” she said. “Let me help you.”
She didn’t need to offer twice. She pushed my knees to spread my legs apart and slid down until she could slide the head of my cock into her mouth. She wrapped her fingers around my shaft and pumped wildly.
She pushed her tits together and rubbed them all over my cock while flicking the head with her tongue. I grabbed the back of her head and pushed it in as deep as it would go.
Once she felt my climax reach its breaking point, she popped it out of her mouth and jerked me until I exploded onto her chest, dripping down between her tits.
With a smile, she shoved me back into the water and dove in as well. We embraced, floating together, cooling off our bodies and letting the water relax us and clean off my explosion.
