“What do you mean, 'These kinds of stories’?”
“You know, stories about leaving someone stranded at the altar.”
“Well, I don't think that his story is similar to ours in anyway. I'm not marrying you to replace someone that I have lost in my life.”
“Are you sure?”
“Um, yeah!”
“I mean, you know what they say about women who didn't have a father growing up.”
“Yeah, that they end up sleeping around looking for Daddy.”
“Or, they try to find a man that reminds them of their Daddy, to take care of them and love them like there Daddy never did.”
“That's not the case here.”
“Well, maybe it is, and maybe that's why we have never done anything past kissing, because you really look at me like a father figure and you just can't stomach doing those things with someone you think of in that way.”
“If that's the case why haven't I had sex with anyone else?”
“Well, because I am the only boyfriend that you have ever had, that's why.”
“Well, maybe we should change that and see if I sleep with the next guy and then we can put both of your little theories to rest.”
He looked confused, “What is my other theory.”
“That I'm gay.”
“Women like Mya prefer that you use the term lesbian.”
“I don't think that Mya gives a damn what term you use, neither one of us are gay or lesbian ok?”
“OK, OK, I'm just picking with you.”
“Well, don't, I'm sensitive right now. It's that time of the month.”
“Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Usually I know because you get that customary period bump.” He rubbed my belly, and then a smile crept slowly across his face. I could tell he was thinking about more than rubbing my belly and whatever he was thinking about was making him happy.
“What's on your mind? Our wedding night?”
“Sort of.”
“What do you mean sort of?”
“Well, I was thinking about the day that I'll be rubbing your belly because there is a little baby in there and not just because there is a war being raged inside you.” He laughed and I was silent.
“What?” He said looking confused, probably expecting me to say how cute it was and maybe even get teary eyed. My time of the month was the only time I was emotional.
I sat up and his hand slipped off of my belly, "Well, I was just remembering when you said that you didn't want any kids.”
“I'm sure you also remember when I said I didn't want to get married, I changed my mind about that. I figured it was clear that if I wanted to marry you after saying that I never wanted to get married after all these years that I also wanted to have kids with you.”
“Well, no, it wasn't clear because you never said it.”
“So, are you saying that you don't want to have kids?”
“I don't know, I always just assumed that we would be together forever just me and you and we would never want or need to have kids.”
"What's the point of marriage if we don't have kids.”
“I can't believe you just said that.”
“I'm sorry, you're right. I love you and that's why I'm marrying you, I'm in love with you, I love you more than any woman on this earth. Don't you think it would be beautiful if we put all that love that we have for each other together and create something out of it.”
“That's what we're doing by getting married, creating something with our love, a marriage. If you want to create more with our love, we can build a house, start a business or a non-profit. Something less time consuming, less permanent, and less dangerous.”
“A baby is dangerous?”
“Having a baby is dangerous.”
A knowing look flooded over his face, “Now I get it, this is about your mother.”
“No, it's not just about my mother it’s about the millions of woman and infants who die in childbirth or during pregnancy all around the world.”
“Things happen, baby, you know that. You can't be afraid to do something because someone else had a bad experience with it.”
“It's not just someone else, it's my mother and millions of other women. And it's not just a bad experience, its death, death is not just a bad experience.”
“Listen baby, I want a daughter or a son.”
“I want to live life, and travel.”
“So, you want to live life like your aunt who never got married and never had kids.”
“I do want to marry you, I said yes, didn't I?”
“I know but for some reason I'm starting to think that you are having second thoughts. I mean with all this, 'I want my father to walk me down the aisle at my wedding or marrying you won't fell right' business. I'm really starting to wonder.”
“Wow, I thought you were supportive of me wanting to get to know my father. Now the truth comes out.”
“I am supportive I just want to make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons and that you aren't doing it to replace me.”
“No one can replace you, you’re my best friend, my lover, and my Daddy.” I laughed and he did too.
“I knew it! Daddy issues, right here.” He pointed at me and I playfully slapped his hand out of my face.
Chapter 11
I was concerned with a lot of things that Omar had said. I knew that if I went to try to talk to Yaya about it she would simply tell me that he was right about my Daddy issues. Then she would drill me on why I didn't want to have children with a man who was raised by a wonderful father and knew exactly what it took to take care of a wife and children. Then she would threaten me that if I called off this wedding I would owe her a half a million dollars, as if I asked for my wedding to be this extravagant, as if I asked for this wedding at all. I would have been OK with going down to the courthouse the day he proposed, but because he got my aunt involved it had turned into a huge family affair and a chance to show off, which is what everything became when she became a part of it. So instead I went to Mya.
It was a Saturday night and she was working. She said she had about an hour that she could spend with me. For the first time in my life I went to a strip club in New York city. Mya was right, there was nothing but rich old white men ogling the girls on stage. I actually got a chance to catch Maya dancing a bit and I decided that she was the best one here, she was actually trained in dance, and taught dance so it really wasn't fair to all the other girls who had probably never danced a day in their life and were just working at this club to make ends meet, or feed their children, or pay rent, or college tuition. I tried to watch all three stages but Maya was the one who commanded the most attention and I wasn't the only one who thought so. Almost all the men were crowded around her stage, tossing ones and fives and I even saw a ten go up in the air when she flipped upside down on the pole and drop her legs down behind her ears spreading them out into a split. I couldn't understand how someone who never dated and never had sex at all could be comfortable with strange men having their faces all up in her private areas. Then I saw her at the end of her set, scooping up trash bags worth or money off of and from around the stage floor. In the end it was about 7 bags and she had to have some of the guards help her carry it back into the dressing room, she motioned for me to follow her back and told the guards I was with her.
“She's cute, you're recruiting new dancers now?” One of the guards asked looking me up and down like I was a plate of soul food.
She took out two handfuls of cash and pushed them into the guard's hands, “No, and don't be looking at my best friend like she's something to eat, I will cut you.” The guard rolled his eyes at her as she motioned for him to leave. He took one more look at me and slammed the door behind her.
“Wow, Maya, you were not playing, you are not broke anymore.”
“I told you. So, when do you want to start?”
“Yeah, no. You're not recruiting me.” I eyed the bags of bills, “How much do you think that is?”
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“Maybe seven to ten thousand. You want to help me count it later?”
“Yes, but don't be looking at me if it comes up short. I need some new shoes. Some Jimmy Choo's.”
“Girl, nobody wears Jimmy Choo's anymore, you need some red bottoms.”
“Well whatever, I just want some expensive shoes.”
Maya struggled to stuff the bags of bills into her locker and told me to follow her back out onto the floor, she put on something that was a little less revealing and we sat at the bar. She got free drinks because she was a dancer, and I let her tell the bartenders that I was training so that I could get free drinks too.
“How's Daddy?” She asked after draining her first shot.
“I've seen him every day for the last couple weeks.”
“You guys are really hitting it off. I'm happy for you, I thought he would be a dead beat.”
“Thanks for your honesty." I rolled my eyes. "He seems like a really sweet guy, but he also has a whole set of issues. Honestly I think him losing me messed him up more that I thought it messed me up.” I proceeded to tell her the last story he told me about how he almost got married.
“Girl, that's crazy, dude is messed up. I don't think you have any issues related to what happened, look at you, you’re striving. You graduated with a Bachelor’s in engineering, you're going for your Master's, you have a good man who loves and supports you, you're still a virgin which means you're not out hear spreading yourself thin.”
“Well, that same man that you said loves and supports me, seems to think I have Daddy issues.”
“All this time that you two have known each other and been together. He is just now deciding that he thinks you have Daddy issues?”
“That's what I'm saying."
"All this time you didn't have a dad in your life and didn't know who your dad was, but now that your Dad is in your life, all of a sudden you have Daddy issues?”
“He thinks I only want to marry him because I am trying to replace my missing Daddy.”
“But you're Daddy isn't missing anymore.”
“I think that's his concern, that I only wanted to marry him to replace my daddy, but now that my daddy is back, I don't need him.”
“That is an interesting conclusion.”
“Don't tell me you agree with him.”
“Only you know how you feel, we can only speculate.”
“He also just now mentioned that he does actually want to have kids.”
“So, are you ready?”
“No. I'm scared to death. literally.”
“Aw, Yely, just because your mother suffered the fate that she did from giving birth to a child that does not mean that you will go through the same thing.”
“I mean I know that, but I just know that I always said I didn't want to have kids, because of that. And I know that I wouldn't even be able to enjoy pregnancy because I would be super paranoid that either I was dying or the baby was dying inside of me at every moment.”
“But, how would you feel once you have the baby.”
“Like I now have another little human being that would forever depend on me, and I wouldn't be able to do anything as easily as I would if I was childless.”
“To sum that all up, you would be resentful.”
I shrugged.
“So, if that's the way you feel, you shouldn't have a baby.”
“But he wants a baby.”
“Then don't marry him, that's not something you can sweep under the rug and decide to deal with later. If you guys can't agree on that it will only lead to resentment between you two in the future and possibly divorce, and I know one of the reasons you said you didn't want to get married was because you were never going to get divorced.”
“Yeah, I'm still traumatized by my grandparent's divorce.”
“So what else did this crazy man of yours tell you?”
“Well he and his cousin also seem to think that we're lesbians, and he thinks you’re secretly in love with me.”
She paused for a second, “What cousin?”
“You know his girl cousin, the gay one.”
“Girl, gay girls always think they know who is gay and who is not.”
“Are you going to address the fact that he thinks you're in love with me?”
“I do love you girl, you're my best friend.”
“But, you're not in love with me, right?” I asked playfully.
She took a sip of her drink and shook her head no.
“And if you were a lesbian would you be marrying a man?”
“I could be one the down low?”
She looked at me curiously, “Are you on the down low?”
“Girl, are you on the down low.” We both laughed.
Just then, a man came and sat down on the opposite side of Maya, he started whispering something in her ear. She turned back to me.
“Listen, you wait right here, I am about to go make this quick $1250 for a lap dance.”
“Wow.” I said laughing and taking another sip of my drink.
Maya got up and the bartender poured me another, “That's what this life is like, get ready." He said with a smile.
I almost forgot that he thought I was a stripper in training, I took the new drink and put it to my lips as I smiled back at him.
FORTY-FIVE MINUTES passed and Maya was still not back from giving her private lap dance in the rooms in the back of the club.
Where are you? I'm about to leave, men keep offering me money to do strange things, lol.
I waited about five minutes before she texted me back. He offered me $2500 if I went back to his house for a private dance, lol!
Maya, I don't think that's a good idea. Isn't that dangerous and not allowed?
I gotta get this money. Just go home, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I listened despite my better judgement. I jumped in the cab and felt the worst feeling as it was pulling off.
Ten minutes later while I was trapped in Saturday night New York city traffic I got the text I was waiting for, 'I'm on my way back to club, I'll call you when I'm home.'
About 20 minutes later when the cab was just pulling up to my apartment, Mya called my phone.
I answered quickly, relieved that she had made it home safely. “How did you get home so fast? It took me thirty minutes to get home.”
“Yely!” She was screaming, “Come back to the club now! These guys shot the bouncers and robbed me! They won't let me go! I'm hiding in the showers!”
“Oh my god, Maya! I'm calling the police!” The driver looked back at me concerned, expecting me to get out of the cab, but I slammed the door and got back in.
“Don't call the police! Just come now!”
I could hear a man yelling, his voice got closer to the phone, “Give me the fucking phone!” The call ended.
“Go! Please, go back to the club, please hurry!” I called the police anyway.
I then called Omar. “Meet me at Sapphire's now, Maya's in trouble.” He told me to wait for him. I knew I wouldn't listen if I got there before the police or before him I was going in to get my best friend.
THE CLUB WAS CLOSED an locked by the time the cab pulled up. The lights were out and I didn't see any cop cars or Omar's car. I thought for a second and remembered seeing an exit door in the dressing room. I sprinted around the building and began banging on the door to the dressing room. I yelled for her but heard nothing. The door was budging as I was banging on it. I pushed hard and it opened. I heard whispering. The room was completely dark. I poked my head in and was pulled the rest of the way in by two pairs of large hands.
“Let her go!'” I heard a woman's voice scream. It was Maya.
I was thrown to the side and banged my head hard on the concrete wall.
“Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.” A man's voice ordered.
“Tie her ass up.” Another smoother voice ordered.
“No, please, let us go, please! You can have the money.”
“We got
the money already.” The smooth voiced laughed at Maya “That was the easy part. Now we want you. I was sitting here thinking like damn we only got this one hoe, and then you were kind enough to call another hoe for us, so thank you.”
A pair of hands grabbed me and tied my hands behind my back. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark room. I could see Mya. She was tied up and leaned against the opposite wall across from me. Her face was covered in blood. That's all I could see.
“No, no, no, no, please.” I said starting to cry.
“Shut the fuck up!” The deep voice yelled at the top of his lungs.
“They ain't gone just shut the hell up and let us fuck them. Put something in their mouth, act like we've done this before.” The smooth voice ordered.
Maya and I were both tied up and gagged within a matter of minutes of me arriving back at the club. I tied to remember how I ended up here. I closed my eyes tight trying to awaken myself from the nightmare before me.
“This is what is going to happen. There are three of us and two of you, so we all getting some ass OK? You can fight, or you can just let it happen, relax, and enjoy.” I was going to fight and from the sounds of her muffled screams and thrashing about Maya wasn't about to just relax and let some fuck boy violate her in such a savage way.
“We got some fighters on our hands boys. I don't mind that, makes it more fun for us. You take her, you take her, I'll go next, just tell me whose best and I'll take that one. I'm watching the door so hurry up.”
"I was hoping I got you.: The deep voice said as he came closer to me. He pulled off my shoes first and then started to tug at my pants.
I kicked him in the face and he promptly retaliated with a punch to my face.
“You might want to rethink fighting me, I like to fight, and I am probably better at it than you.”
I didn't stop fighting, even though it was doing no justice. All the wriggling and squirming I was doing was just making it easier for him to pull my pants down. I change strategies and tried to sit myself up so he wouldn't have easy access to anything. He pulled me by my legs and I fell backwards, slamming my head again, this time on the cement floor, and crushing my arms beneath my back.
Father of the Bride Page 9
