By the time we walk into the house the next day, I’ve kissed every single piece of her, and I still haven’t had enough.
We hang with my parents, and she slowly but surely starts chipping away at my father’s tough exterior. None of us mention the big elephant in the room.
We go to bed early, Denise staying again, and then when we walk into the hospital the next day, both of us are holding Jack’s hand as he takes on the biggest fight of his life, and he’s only five.
Denise maintains a brave front when we walk up to the nurses’ station. She is starting with us, then she will start her shift.
“Jumping Jack here for his superpowers,” she says to Mallory. She smiles down at him, and he gives her a big smile and then turns to look at my parents who also came.
“I’m going to have superpowers,” he tells them, and they laugh.
“Come right this way,” Mallory says, getting up and going to the room where he will be hooked up.
“Okay, Jumping Jack,” Mallory starts. “You need to go in there and change out of your clothes and put on this gown,” she tells him, and he just nods at her.
“I’ll take you,” Shirley says as he walks to the bathroom to change.
“I’m going to go put my stuff away,” Denise says to me. “I’ll be right back.”
I nod at her as she squeezes my hand, walking away. “I feel like there is a jackhammer in my chest.” I look at my father who comes to me, slapping my shoulder.
“Have faith,” he says as he blinks away his tears. “You have to have faith.” I just nod at him and wait.
Jack comes out and sits on the chair in the middle of the room when Mallory walks in with Steve. “How is my favorite patient doing?” Steve asks Jack.
“I’m going to get superpowers,” he tells him, and Steve just nods, sitting in front of him. “So we are going to start the IV, and then we are going to put the superpower in.”
“Am I going to be sick with this one?” he asks Steve. “I threw up a lot of the other one.”
“I hope not,” Steve answers him. “But we don’t know for sure.”
“Okay,” he says as he sits in the chair that is too big for him. His body preparing for the biggest fight of his life, and he has no idea.
Denise now comes in, wearing her lab coat. “So what did I miss?” she says, coming next to me.
Mallory comes in and lays the instruments down to start an IV. “It’s going to pinch,” she says, and no matter how many times he’s had an IV, he silently starts to cry.
I sit next to him, holding his hand, his silent cry starting to get a bit louder. “It hurts,” he says, and I lean over and kiss him.
Whispering in his ear, I tell him, “You are so brave. You are so strong.” Tears now roll down my cheeks.
“There,” Mallory says, “all done.”
I wipe Jack’s face, and he just nods. “How about we get a nice family picture?” Steve says. “So we can hang it on the wall once you beat this.”
My parents come and stand behind me with Jack in front, and then I look at Denise. “You too, Dr. Denise,” Jack says, and she just shakes her head, but Steve pushes her forward. She sits on the other side of Jack, holding his hand.
“Okay, say survivor,” Steve says, and we all repeat him.
“I have to go see Evie,” Denise says. “But I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Okay,” Jack says. “Is she getting her superpowers also?”
“Yeah, buddy, she is,” Denise says. “Someone very special gave a lot of money for her to get them,” she says, smiling and then leaning down to kiss his cheek.
“Here it goes,” Mallory says, smiling while she hooks up the little white bag and the IV starts.
When lunchtime comes around, Jack is tired and restless. His lunch of Jell-O and broth are nothing for him. I pick him up and make sure that the IV tube doesn’t stick on the chair when I turn him around and rock him in my arms.
“Can we go to Disney?” he asks me, looking up at me.
“As soon as we can,” I tell him, knowing I’m going to give him everything he wants.
“I want Grandma and Grandpa to come to,” he says. “And Dr. Denise.”
I nod my head at him. “You can just call her Denise now.”
“Okay,” he says, closing his eyes and falling asleep while I lay my head back and close my eyes, and I pray. I pray to every single god that there is out there.
When his bag is empty, Steve comes back into the room. “Can I see you in the hall?” he asks me, and I nod, putting Jack down to sit in the chair and watch his show on his iPad.
I stand with him out in the hall. “There are a couple of things you need to look out for,” he says. “The next three days are the most crucial.”
“Okay,” I say to him, my heart beating. “Wouldn’t it be better if he stayed here?”
“Yes,” he tells me, “but he will be more comfortable at home.”
“Okay,” I tell him.
“You have to just watch him like a hawk. Monitor his temperature and make sure it doesn’t go up. If at any time he’s dizzy, you need to bring him back ASAP.”
“Okay,” I tell him and then look down. “When do we know if this worked?”
“Three months,” he tells me. “Ninety days.”
I nod my head at him. “Okay. We’ve come this far.”
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve come this far,” he says and walks away, and I rub my face with my hands and look up to see Janet walking toward me.
“You did this, didn’t you?” she says when she gets close enough to talk to me.
“I don’t—” I start, but she just raises her hand, and she is soon joined by her husband and son. Her husband puts a hand around her and then looks at me.
“This is the man who donated the money for Evie,” she says, her face with tears.
“I don’t know how we can ever repay you,” Darryl says, “but we will.”
“That isn’t necessary,” I tell him.
“You’re Zack Morrow,” the son tells me, and I just nod at him. “I play defense like you,” he says. “You were always my idol growing up, and now you just crossed over to superhero.” He smirks.
“I didn’t do anything that someone else wouldn’t have done,” I tell them.
“You gave our daughter a chance to live,” Janet says, and she can’t speak anymore. She just turns into her husband’s arms as he holds her.
“If you ever need anything,” he says, “anything. My family is in your debt.” He turns and walks away to the room.
I go back in, and we dress Jack again; this time, he’s too tired to walk, so I carry him.
“Are we waiting for Denise?” my mother asks, and I just nod my head when she comes running out.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me coming over?” she asks me, and I just nod. I don’t say anything to her as we walk to the car. I’m holding Jack in my arms while I hold her hand.
When we get home, Denise tries to get Jack to perk up a bit by asking him to build a fort with her, but he just wants to lie down. So she gets his favorite blankets and tucks him in on the couch. She also goes into doctor mode and takes his temperature every thirty minutes and makes a chart for herself.
“She really is something else,” my father says to me while the two of us sit on the couch with Jack lying between us.
“She is everything,” I tell him, looking back at her as she writes in her latest numbers.
She comes into the room and sits next to me. “Tomorrow when I go into work, I need you to take his temperature hourly,” she says, and I just put my arm around her and bring her close. We don’t say anything else. We don’t even watch television; the television watches us as the three of us just sit in our own thoughts.
We go to bed that night, but Denise is up every hour on the dot to check on him. “Wouldn’t it be better if I brought him to bed with us?” I ask her after the fourth hour.
“If he’s comforta
ble, we should leave him in there,” she tells me, and I follow her to his room. He wakes up this time and then asks to come with us. He cuddles up to me as we sleep the three of us in the bed, and when I say sleep, I’m lying. Denise just watches him the whole night.
“How are you going to function tomorrow?” I whisper to her, and she just shrugs.
“This is nothing,” she says, and I look at her.
“I love you,” I tell her softly, and she just reaches out and comes closer.
“Love you more,” she says, and by the time I blink, her alarm is going off softly in her hands. She looks at Jack sleeping in my arms and reaches out to touch his head. “He’s warm.”
“No, he isn’t,” I tell her. “He’s stuck to me.”
“You need to make sure the minute his temperature goes up that you bring him in.”
“I know,” I tell her as she rushes around the room getting her things ready and quietly kissing us before walking out of the room. I hear the front door close softly and close my eyes, but then I hear the door again.
I rise on my elbow and look over at the door, listening to the footsteps again, this time coming back upstairs. I watch Denise come in the room.
“Did you forget something?” I ask her as she stands there and takes off her jacket.
“I can’t go to work like this. Half my head is here,” she says, kicking off her shoes. “Actually, my whole head is here.”
“Baby,” I say. Getting off the bed and going to her, I grab her face in my hands. “He’s going to be fine.”
“I know but”—she puts her hands on mine—“I can’t leave him.”
“Okay,” I whisper and kiss her lips. “Get back into your pjs.”
She climbs back into bed on her side while she watches him sleep, and I watch her. Grateful, so fucking grateful that I found her.
It’s a good thing she was checking because that night we notice his temperature is going up. Slowly but surely, it hits a fever, and she is wrapping him in her arms, and we are rushing him to the hospital.
We load up the car, and when we finally get to the hospital, Steve is waiting for us. “His temperature went from normal, and now he’s borderline.” Denise starts walking with him as he brings us to a room, and Jack groans in my arms.
“I’m tired,” he says and then closes his eyes, Denise starts to get a little frantic. She whips off her jacket once I lie him down and starts to call orders out when Steve looks at her.
“You need to step aside, Denise,” he says to her, and she just stops. “Go and stand with Zack.” She doesn’t have to say anything; instead, he steps in front of her and holds her hands.
She comes to stand next to me and puts her arms around my waist as we watch them hook Jack up to machines.
The beeping of his heart fills the room. “We need to start him on the meds,” Denise says, and Steve just nods at her.
“Don’t make me put you out of the room,” he tells her, and she lets go of my waist. “You aren’t in charge here.”
She looks like the devil just took over her body, and I have to put an arm around her. “Let them do what they need to do,” I tell her, and she just watches.
For the next thirty minutes, they take his blood pressure and temperature, and when Steve turns to us and walks past us, Denise knows to follow him. “I’m not going to tell you what you already know. I will tell you that we are doing the best thing for him. I administered the drug, and now I hate to say it, but it’s a waiting game.”
“That isn’t good enough,” Denise says. “Call Melissa and see what the backup plan is.”
“There isn’t a backup plan, and you know that.” He looks down. “The next twenty-four hours are critical.”
“What are you saying?” I finally speak.
“If his temperature doesn’t go down, chances are we’re going to lose him,” Steve says; his voice sounds almost disconnected, but I know that it’s killing him just to say this.
“What?” I whisper as I hear Denise from beside me.
“This is all my fault,” she says as her legs give out, and she leans against the wall, falling to the floor.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Denise
If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be fighting for his life right now. I sit in the chapel, the lights from the candles filling the room and the soft sunlight coming into the stain glass windows.
It’s been twelve hours, twelve hours since he opened his eyes last, twelve hours since we heard his voice. Steve just about barred me from his room. Every single time the machine beeped or his pressure changed, I jumped up and questioned everything that he did. Zack just sat there, his eyes focused on the rise and fall of Jack’s chest. Lost in his own world of fear.
I look ahead at the altar, not even sure I know what to say. What could I bargain with? Take me instead of him. I’m sure Zack has already said that. I don’t even know what to do, and when I hear the door opening, I don’t even bothering looking to the side.
I feel someone sit next to me. His arm goes around my shoulder, and I know it’s Max.
“I failed them,” I say softly. “I failed them both. He came to me for help, came to me for an answer, and I failed him,” I say, a tear running down my face.
“You can’t do this to yourself,” he says, still holding me. “You are always trying to make sure everyone is okay,” he tells me. “Always.”
“Yeah,” I say, rubbing my face. “I tried to leave my heart at the door, but the pull was bigger than me. It was more powerful than me.”
“You love him,” he points out.
“I do,” I tell him, “with everything that I am, I love that kid.” I turn to him and more tears come out.
“You become attached to your kids. I know how you get,” he says, and I shake my head.
“It’s more than that with Jack,” I try to tell him. “He’s a part of me. Forget that I’m in love with his father, forget the fact that I was his doctor first. It’s different.” He brings me closer to him and kisses my head. “If I lose him, I don’t think I would be able to go on,” I whisper.
“I don’t want you to get hurt if Chantal comes back and tries to get him,” he tells me, being the sensible one.
“He may not have come from my body, and I may not have carried him and felt him grow in me, but he’s mine.” I turn to him. “Chantal will always be his mother, they will always have that bond, but it doesn’t break the bond I have with him. It doesn’t negate the fact that I hold him when he’s sick, or that I tuck him into bed at night and read him a bedtime story.” I sniffle. “She can’t take that from me. She can’t take it from us.”
“You need to go and sit with him,” he says to me. “Hold his hand and talk to him,” he tells me.
“I don’t know if I can.” I tell him the truth. “I don’t know if I can sit there and tell him that everything is going to be okay.” I now sob. “Because I know it could not be, and I’m not ready for that.”
“He needs you.” He doesn’t look at me. He just looks ahead. “They both do.” I just nod my head, knowing he’s right, knowing I need to go up there and see this through. “It’s a good thing those two deserve you, or I don’t know what I would do,” Max says. “I knew this day would come and you would find your somebody who would finally complete you. “You being a doctor was your life, it is your life, but having those two guys just makes your life complete and”—he starts to blink—“it’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
I nod my head, tucking my head on his shoulder as he holds me, and we are both quiet and lost in our own thoughts. Thoughts of us growing up, thoughts of when he finally made it, thoughts of when I ran to him, thoughts of when I moved in with him, thoughts of when I graduated medical school. Everything I’ve been through has brought me to this moment, and for all the heartbreak and sadness, I wouldn’t go back and change it. Not one little second, not one thing that would have led me off this path to them.
>
We walk back upstairs, and I walk into the room with Jack in the middle. Looking at the monitor, I see that his temperature has gone down one degree, which isn’t much, but it’s a start. I sit on the bed next to him while Zack just holds his hand and looks at me. His eyes beg me to tell him it’s going to be okay, beg me to tell him he is going to open his eyes, but I can’t do it. Not this time. “Did he open his eyes?” I ask him, and he just shakes his head.
“Jack,” I say to him, hoping his eyes flicker, hoping that he answers me with his sweet voice. “I know you’re really tired, and I know that you’re fighting your hardest,” I tell him, trying not to cry, “but your dad and I really, really want you to open your eyes.” I bring his hand to my mouth and kiss it. My tears fall on the bed, and Zack leans forward and pulls me onto his lap. We sit here and watch Jack. His chest rising and falling, watching the numbers on the monitors. Nurses come and go, checking him and looking at us with grim hope in their eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” I turn to Zack. “I’m so sorry that I made you try this.”
He rubs my cheek with his thumb. “You can’t take the blame for this,” he tells me. “It’s not your burden; you aren’t God.” Burying my face into his neck, I realize the night came quickly, and it’s been almost twenty-four hours since we’ve gotten here. The quiet nighttime is just too much to bear; I can’t stand it. The only thing I hear is the beep of his machine.
“How about I read you a story?” I tell Jack, getting up and climbing on the bed with him, just like I do at home when I read him the story. I don’t need the book to recite the part in the book.
“I love you for always …” I say with tears streaming down my face. Zack leans forward now with his face in my stomach as I tell his son how much I love him.
“You didn’t say it right.” I hear his voice, and I about jump out of my skin. Zack’s head shoots up as he looks at Jack, who is licking his lips.
“Water,” I tell Zack, and he leans over and gets the cup of water that I always want to be fresh beside the bed. “Can you take a little sip?” I tell him and then press the button for the nurse. He takes a tiny sip, and then I touch his forehead to find the fever now gone.
SOMETHING SO SERIES Page 88
