Blake hoists Alexa into his arms, and I take Chance’s hand to walk through the crowded restaurant.
Outside, the thin, partition-style doors separating our room from the rest of the place, Blake stops me. He leans over and kisses my cheek. “I love you. I’m so proud of you.”
“For what?”
“For finishing school.”
I beam up at him. “Me too. So glad it’s over, so I can focus on us and our wedding.”
“Yeah,” he says softly. “You did it, though, and I’m proud as hell.”
“Thank you.”
“So, forgive me for this.”
I don’t have a chance to ask, “What?” before he flings open the door and everyone yells, “Congratulations!”
Chance drops my hand and jumps around in a circle. “Su-pwise!”
My jaw drops, and I stand there staring at everyone, including Dawn—I knew that was her car out there.
I turn to Blake. “I thought this was our pre-wedding party?”
“Forgive me?” Hope says, coming up and giving me a quick hug. “I may have told a tiny white lie because I was worried you didn’t want to celebrate your graduation.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I hug her tight. “Thank you.”
She pulls back and cups my cheek. “I know it’s been rough, and things haven’t always gone the way you wanted them to, but you did it, and we’re all so proud of you.”
Blake holds up one hand. “I didn’t know until earlier in the week what they’d been planning.”
“Hope and I have been meeting up here, since it’s halfway,” Lilly says, leaning in to give me a hug. “I know it’s not the fanciest place, but the food’s good, I promise.” She gestures to the room around us. “Once we saw you could rent this out for private parties, we thought it would be perfect.”
“It is. The bull was a great distraction, too.”
Lilly grins at me. “It was, right?”
Once I get over the shock, I glance around the room again. Everyone from the upstate and downstate clubs came with their families.
“I almost feel bad we’re making everyone do this again in another week,” I say to Blake once we’re alone again.
“Yeah, another chance to eat, drink, and celebrate. We won’t hear any complaints.” He juts his chin at Jigsaw who’s busy talking to Dawn. “It’s like a test run in case you want to kick anyone off our wedding guest list.”
“Shit, I can’t remember if I ever gave Dawn an invitation,” I whisper. The end of the semester had been such a whirlwind, I barely knew what day it was.
“I was talking about Jiggy.”
“Heidi.” Tawny struts over with open arms. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”
“Thank you.” I try not to choke on her cloying perfume and will myself not to cringe when Sway also envelopes me in a hug.
“You look beautiful,” Tawny says. “So grown up. Oh my God, I remember when you were their age.” She nods to Chance and Alexa. “So proud of you.”
“Thanks, Tawny.” While I don’t have a lot of memories of Tawny from when I was little, the ones I do have certainly stand out.
Blake leads me around the room, stopping to talk to brothers from both charters. A few call me “little hammer” with a wink, so I guess that story has spread.
Just as effortlessly, Blake stops to talk to Dawn.
And it hits me. Two versions of my man exist in our world.
Murphy belongs to the club.
Blake is mine.
Somehow, he always makes it clear that I reign as his queen in both parts of his life. The deeper I immerse myself into the club, hell, the time I spent at our downstate charter alone, helped me understand this behavior isn’t common among most outlaw clubs. The Lost Kings MC is much different from how most motorcycle clubs are run.
The fear and scorn I received when I was younger make more sense now that I have a different perspective. I’ve always been proud of my big brother for belonging to something bigger than himself. We were dealt a shitty family, but he found another to accept us, bonding us to the club for our whole lives.
Blake is my king. The ruler of my heart. I have no problem fighting anyone or anything who threatens him.
There’s nothing I won’t do to protect Blake, Marcel, or the club. I may not be a patch-holding member, but the Lost Kings have my heart and loyalty.
Always.
My hands shake as I think over the words I plan to say later tonight.
Thirty-Three
Heidi
After dinner, Tawny stops by and touches my shoulder. Leaning down, she whispers in my ear. “Sway’s not feeling so well, honey. I need to get him home.”
I jump up and thank her for coming. Hope and Rock end up walking them out to the parking lot.
“She says he’s not doing well, but the fact he’s moving around at all is impressive as hell,” I say as I sit back down next to Blake.
“Fuck yeah, it is.”
“May we all be so lucky.” Rooster lifts his glass, and the guys cheer in return.
Dawn’s the next one to leave. “I’m so sorry, my mom’s watching Jet.”
“You could’ve brought him.”
“Nah, I need to get out on my own once in a while.” She hugs me again before darting out the door.
Rock and Hope return.
Show time.
I nudge Blake with my elbow, and he nods.
Since I was told this was a pre-wedding dinner, I sat down last night and prepared a few things I wanted to say to the family who means everything to me.
I stand and tug at my dress.
My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. A few of the guys give me a curious look, but the room’s still loud.
Blake slams his fist against the table, rattling everything. “Quiet down. My ol’ lady wants to say something.”
He nods at me once I have everyone’s attention.
I clear my throat. “You’ll have to forgive me, I was told this was a pre-wedding party, so I thought of a few things I wanted to say. I know you’re all supposed to toast us at the wedding. But I hope you don’t mind me saying a few words a little early.” My eyes tear up, and I’m not even sure I can go through with this. Maybe I should’ve put it in a letter and mailed it from our honeymoon destination.
I take a deep breath before continuing. “Even though you won’t let me be a member—”
“That’s not true, Heidi! You never asked,” Z calls out.
The moment gives me a chance to duck my head and laugh. It also helps force my tears away.
“You’re Murphy’s old lady, that makes you a member!” Rooster shouts.
A few of the other guys grumble and throw him questioning looks.
My brother winks at me.
“I’ve thought of the club as my family for as long as I can remember.” My gaze lands on Rock. “When you brought my brother into the club, you accepted me, too.” I shrug and try to smile. “Even if I was a little bratty sometimes.”
Everyone chuckles. Rock, stoic as ever, tightens his jaw and nods at me.
“Thank you isn’t a strong enough sentiment for everything you’ve done for us, Uncle Rock.” I swallow over my nerves and take another deep breath. “From an ‘outsider’s’ perspective, when you met Hope and brought her into the fold, it changed so many things about the club. In a good way.” I look around the room at brothers I’ve known almost my whole life, and some I’ve gotten to know more recently. “She seemed to be the spark that changed LOKI from a brotherhood into a true family. You’ve both set a beautiful example of what love and a relationship should be, and I thank you for letting me be part of your world.”
Hope’s eyes shine, and it wasn’t my intention to make her cry. Rock wraps both arms around her and hugs her to his chest. “We both love you, Heidi,” she says after dabbing her eyes. “So much.”
“We need her!” Sparky shouts. “Hope’s our mama bear!”
Trinity giggles and leans over to ki
ss Hope’s cheek. “Mama bear is right.”
My gaze lands on Trinity, and her smile fades. I speak quickly before I lose the courage. “Thank you for your infinite patience in putting up with the brattiest little sister anyone could be cursed with.”
Her lower lip trembles like she’s about to cry, and I hurry to add a joke. “And thank you for giving this broke college kid a job.”
“You’ll be hard to replace,” she says.
“Uncle Wrath, I know you enjoy being feared, but my favorite memories of you are how invincible you made me feel every time you’d pick me up and put me on your shoulders. And buy me ice cream cones, of course.”
He actually chuckles.
“Uncle Z, you’ve always been my fun uncle. You always made me laugh and cheered me up.” I nod to Lilly. “Z has the biggest heart, and I always knew it would take an exceptional woman to fill it up.”
Did I render Uncle Z speechless? He opens his mouth, closes it, shakes his head and lifts his glass instead.
“Thank you, Heidi,” Lilly whispers.
I turn to Charlotte, and she’s already shaking her head. “Don’t you dare make me cry.” She sniffles.
“Everyone here probably knows how much I idolize my big brother. But I don’t think anyone understands how much I always wanted him to find the right woman to make him happy. Not just so he’d get his nose out of my business—”
Everyone roars with laughter. Blake squeezes my hand.
“He gave up a lot to take care of me when he was just a kid himself,” I continue when the laughter dies down. “And I didn’t really appreciate his sacrifices until I was older. It takes a special woman to tolerate…. oops, I mean enjoy his special brand of overbearing love—”
“Easy, little sister,” Marcel warns.
“A strong woman is what you needed.” I wink at my brother. “You’re a caretaker, that’s just your nature. God knows what would’ve happened to me if you weren’t. But you were always taking care of others. You needed someone to take care of you. I thank you for that, Charlotte. You’re the perfect partner for my big brother.” Now that the hard part’s over, I grin at them. “You’re also the fun, big sister I always wanted, even though you have some weird ginger-twin pact with my future husband.”
Charlotte and Blake both pump their fists in the air. “Ginger power!”
Jigsaw laughs so hard he bangs his head against the table a few times.
I go down the table with a few heartfelt words for each of the brothers and hope each one understands they come from a place of deep love and gratitude.
When I finally sit down, Ravage stands. Next to me, Blake groans and clenches his fists.
“I was saving this for the wedding, but I’m feeling all tingly from your moving words, Heidi.”
“You should see a doctor for that,” Stash says.
Ignoring him, Ravage continues. “We love you, too, Heidi.” He touches his hand to his chest. “You’re already an official part of the family, so I don’t need to talk about that. As much as we enjoy ragging on Murphy for being totally pussy-whipped, it’s why we love him—and you—so much.”
He sits down.
Heads turn, waiting for Ravage’s punchline, but he’s silent.
“Thank you,” I whisper then add. “I think.”
After a vigorous head shake, Dex stands and lifts his glass. “Life isn’t always beautiful. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. You both know that. But when you have the right person with you, it’s a beautiful ride.”
“To a beautiful ride!” everyone cheers and holds up their glasses.
“Thank you,” Blake says.
“We’re all looking for the one to smooth out the potholes of life,” Sparky says.
Stash grabs Sparky in a headlock and kisses the top of his head. “You’re the pothead of our lives, brother.”
Yup, that sounds about right.
Murphy
Predictably, as it gets later, the guys get rowdier. Z and Rooster said they’d swept the room for bugs—not that we’d discuss club business, but with the amount of clubs the feds have gone after lately, you never know.
Alexa and Chance were restless. Hope and Rock offer to take them out to the rodeo bull ride. Baby Grace is sound asleep in Teller’s arms with Charlotte peeking at her every couple of minutes.
Z nudges Lilly and she hands us a small package. “For Heidi,” Z explains.
Heidi eagerly unwraps it and falls back in her chair laughing at the brand new stubby green and purple hammer.
“We owed you a new one,” Wrath says.
I lift my chin at Teller. “You tell them where to find it?”
“Had to.”
“Wait a second,” Ravage says, thrusting his hand toward us and wiggling his fingers, “Let me see that thing.”
Heidi passes it to Charlotte who hands it off to Trinity and it travels down the table into Rav’s hands.
“What is that, nine, nine-and-a-half inches?” Stash takes the hammer from Rav and waves it around. He squints at me. “So you basically gave her your dick to carry around?”
“Why would you…where…why?” Lilly finally gives up and shakes her head.
Trinity leans over the table. “Don’t try to make sense of it, Lilly. Just roll with it.”
A couple of years ago, Heidi would’ve been blushing bright red and completely mortified. Today, she laughs off Stash’s asinine comment.
“My dick’s way bigger than that thing,” I say, figuring that’ll put an end to this.
For some reason, Stash, Ravage, and Jigsaw look at Heidi as if waiting for confirmation.
“Well, I haven’t exactly measured,” Heidi says. “But in certain positions he certainly hammers the hell out of my cervix.”
What the fuck?
Ravage shakes himself as if the word cervix somehow gave him cooties.
Teller stares at his sister.
The girls wince, then crack up.
“Figured that would shut them up,” Heidi mutters, making Trinity and Lilly laugh even harder.
“Hammer dick!’ Stash shouts. “That’s Murphy’s new road name. Someone write that down.”
“Jesus Christ,” Teller mutters.
Z picks up his beer. “I’m officially traumatized by this entire conversation.”
I lean closer to Heidi and whisper, “Is that true? Why don’t you ever say anything? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Aww.” She kisses my cheek. “Why do you think I like to be on top so much? Or standing? Or spooning—”
“Okay, stop or I’m going to fuck you right now.”
She glances around at the crowded room. “That’ll be hella awkward, don’t you think?”
“I’ll never look at a hammer the same,” Charlotte says, drawing our attention her way. She studies the hammer when the guys pass it back to us.
“Enough already.” Since Teller’s arms are full with Grace, he nods at me to take the hammer from Charlotte.
Charlotte holds it out of my reach and grips it tighter. “I mean, that’s a really thin dick, if that’s what it’s supposed to be.” She raises a suspicious eyebrow at Stash who started the whole hammer dick thing.
Heidi jiggles with laughter.
“Why is that a staple in lots of romance books?” Trinity’s saying to Charlotte and Lilly. “‘His purple warrior sword banged on her womb.’ No! Ew, bad, penis!”
Charlotte, Lilly, and Trinity howl with laughter.
“Make it stop,” Teller begs the entire room.
Wrath reaches over and plucks the hammer out of Charlotte’s hand. He points it at Charlotte, then Heidi. “You can have it back when you behave.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Heidi protests.
Z raises his hand and snaps his fingers. “You planted a horrifying mental image of Murphy violating you in our heads.”
“Well,” Heidi says, lowering her voice and ignoring Z, “You always have me plenty turned on.” She covers her mouth with her hand and s
nickers. “Before you hammer away at me.” Heidi barely has the last word out before she falls against my side, laughing.
“Foreplay is critical if your partner has a mega-peen.” Charlotte nods at us.
“Teller, brother, control your woman,” I say.
Charlotte’s jaw drops. “Ginger traitor,” she declares, pointing at me in such a dramatic way, I can’t help joining in on their laughter.
“Wait, how do you prove you have a mega-peen?” Stash cups his hand over his ear and leans our way.
“Seems like something you really shouldn’t need to ask,” Wrath says.
The doors open. Hope and Rock enter with the kids.
“I’m not even going to ask.” Rock holds up his hands and makes a shut-the-fuck-up face at all of us.
“We’re gone for five minutes and the whole restaurant can hear you guys shouting mega-peen,” Hope whispers the last word which only makes the guys laugh harder and yell it louder.
Charlotte waves at Hope. “I may have instigated some of it, but Stash totally started it.”
“I totally did,” Stash agrees.
“Heidi totally gave me a name for my newest strain,” Sparky announces.
“I’m afraid to ask,” Heidi whispers to me.
“The Cervix Buster.” Sparky grins at everyone before sitting back down.
“Jesus Christ,” Z mumbles.
“If this is what my graduation party turned into,” Heidi tips her head back and smiles at me, “I can’t wait for our wedding.”
Thirty-Four
Murphy
There’s only one weakness in my don’t-fuck-with-me biker attitude tonight. Heidi.
I’ve fought at the Castle and won dozens of times. I’ve taken dirty shots, punished my opponent with my fists, collected my money, and gone home to my girl.
Heidi—and her safety—are the only things that could distract me among this crowd. Most of the guys who hang out, fight, and place bets here are closer to her age. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if she recognizes a few of them from high school or even shared some college classes with one or two. Doesn’t mean I’ll tolerate anyone trying to pick her up.
White Lies Page 22
