No shit, jackass. “Yes, sir. That’s what I want.”
He actually smiles. For a second. Then he turns his stare on Heidi. “Mrs. O’Callaghan.”
“Yes.” Heidi’s voice is clear and steady even though I notice her bottom lip tremble.
“This adoption means your husband is now your daughter’s legal parent. Even if you divorce, he will have the right to visitation and custody. If you remarry, that will not change his relationship to your daughter. Do you understand?”
“I do. Yes.”
He shuffles through the papers again. “The biological father is deceased?”
“Yes, sir,” Heidi answers.
“The grandparents?”
“Have never been involved in her life, your honor,” Charlotte says.
“Hmm.” The judge’s face softens. “Well, then this won’t be an issue but so you understand, she won’t be entitled to any inheritance from the biological grandparents.”
“I understand,” Heidi says.
“Young lady?” The judge says, clearly meaning Alexa.
I nudge her and point to the judge. He smiles and waves at her but from high up on the bench he must seem intimidating. She ducks her head against my chest.
“Alexa?”
She peeks up at him again.
“Who is that?” He nods at me.
She frowns. Turns to look at me. Looks at the judge. “My Daddy,” she answers in the same are you stupid tone of voice Marcel uses all the time.
I swallow down my laughter.
The judge chuckles and scribbles his signature on a few pieces of paper.
“All right. You’re officially the legal parent of this little girl, Mr. O’Callaghan. Congratulations.”
I swallow hard before answering. “Thank you.”
He hands a folder to Charlotte and gives her some instructions for filing the papers for the new birth certificate and name change.
Heidi throws her arms around me and Alexa. The three of us huddle like that together for a few minutes. Until Alexa’s had enough and squirms her way off my lap.
“Pop-pop!”
“She has no idea,” Heidi murmurs.
“She will always know she’s loved and wanted,” I answer. I lean down and kiss Heidi’s cheek. “That’s the only thing that matters.”
Fifty-Two
Epilogue
Alexa
“Dad, can I come down to the garage with you?”
“Sure. Wanna ask Bit-Bit?”
“No.”
He chuckles and motions for me to follow him. We walk the trail to the clubhouse garages. One of them, my father’s almost completely taken over with his bikes and our family’s cars. He often helps Uncle Dex maintain all the vehicles for the club, but what’s in this smaller garage belongs to the O’Callaghans alone.
Well, one or two might belong to Uncle Teller.
It’s the big orange bike in the corner that fascinates me the most. Dad knows it, too. He watches me closely. My eyes always go to it first, and my dad always entertains my questions.
Mom, not so much. She hardly spends any time in here.
I haven’t learned a whole lot of practical skills over the years. I really just enjoy hanging out, watching my dad work, listening to his road stories. Listening to stories of what he and mom were like as kids. This garage is my happy place.
Today, I gather up the courage to ask something that’s been on my mind for a while now. “Dad, if he liked to ride, how come he never joined the club?”
I don’t have to specify which he; Dad knows I’m referring to my bio-father. I don’t think of him as my “real” father. The man standing in front of me is as real as real gets. But I know mom was married to my first father, her high school sweetheart, for a brief time before he died, and naturally, I’m curious about him.
He sighs and glances at his boots. “Club life isn’t for everyone.”
I can’t understand that. “I never, ever want to leave,” I blurt out. Then add, “Even if girls can’t be members.”
Dad chuckles at the scowl on my face. “No one ever said that. No girls have asked yet.”
“Bullshit. That’s what all of you say.”
He grins even wider. “Watch your mouth. Who says that?”
“You. Uncle Teller, Uncle Rock, Uncle Wrath, Uncle Z…you think I missed that’s the standard answer you guys give Grace and me all the time?”
He laughs harder.
“Now, I’m asking. I want to be a prospect when I turn eighteen.”
He stops laughing. “You better talk to your mom about that. And you need to learn to ride first.”
“Well, it would be easier to learn if someone would teach me.”
“Not yet.”
I huff out an annoyed burst of air, blowing my bangs out of my face. “You already knew how to ride at my age.”
Dad’s smile is every safe, happy, and warm memory I can ever remember.
“Why don’t we worry about mastering some driving skills first. You got your whole life in front of you to learn to ride.”
My gaze strays to the bike again. “I wish I’d known him.”
“Axel?”
“Yeah. Were you friends?”
He’s careful with his answer. Hesitant almost. “Not close. I knew him when he prospected for us. He was a good kid. A hard worker.” He points to the orange bike. “Very talented at fixing shit.”
I already know all of those things, because Dad’s said them before. What I don’t know is, “Were you not friends because of mom?”
I’m clearly making him uncomfortable, but I can’t stop myself from asking.
“Probably,” he finally answers.
“I wish I at least had one memory of him.”
His face softens. “Your mom has pictures.”
“I know. It’s not the same.”
The hot sting of sadness tickles my throat. I don’t know why, but I feel like crying. Maybe it’s the pained look on my dad’s face. All too late, it occurs to me that this conversation is probably awkward for him.
Overcome with shame, I throw myself against him, hugging him tight. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Love you, too, Alexa.” His voice is rough, but his arms around me are tight and secure. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing…I just…just realized how lucky I am. That’s all.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he rasps, holding me tighter, swaying us back and forth.
Later that night, I’m sitting on the stairs listening to my parents. Brittany and I have done this for years and rarely get caught.
“Why were you showing her Axel’s bike again?” My mom asks.
“She asked.”
“I’m sorry.”
My dad’s voice is low and gentle. “Why? It’s okay, Heidi. She’s getting older. She’s curious.”
“What did she want to know?”
He heaves out a breath, and I wish I could see them, but to do that, I’d risk exposing my hiding spot.
“Why he wasn’t a part of the club. If we were friends. Normal stuff.”
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth.”
Mom snorts. “Which truth?”
Dad’s voice is a little sharper this time. “The only one there is. The club’s not for everyone. That I knew Axel, but we weren’t close.”
She snorts again. “I should tell her the actual truth. You were a better father to her from the first day you held her—”
I’ve rarely heard my father angry. “Don’t you dare,” he says in a harsher voice than he normally uses with my mother. “That’s not fair. He was a kid. He might’ve worked things out. Figured out how to be a father when she was older. You don’t know.”
“Yeah, well, I was a kid, too, and I figured it out. I’m sorry, it’s not fair to you—”
“I’m fine. Don’t taint the few things she knows of him with your anger. I can handle a few questions from our daughter.”
Our
daughter. Dad’s never, ever made me feel different or out of place. He adopted me when I was little just so I’d have his last name, and everyone knew I was his. Dad loves me as much as he loves my little sister and brother. I’ve never doubted it.
Tears sting my eyes. Now I feel bad for all the times over the years I’ve asked him about my bio-father. But it was only because no one else would answer my questions. Mom would clam up. Uncle Teller would get pissed. Aunt Hope would get teary-eyed. Uncle Rock just told me, “He was a good kid.” Uncle Wrath would only shrug, and he usually has an opinion on everything.
Dad told me the truth. Or at least the good parts of the truth from the sounds of it. It probably hurt him every time.
I have the urge to run downstairs and hug him.
“What are you doing?” Bit-bit whispers behind me, startling me out of my thoughts. Whisper-quiet, she sits on the stair beside me and tucks her knees under her chin.
“Nothing.”
“Liar. Snooping? Trying to figure out if you’re getting a car for your birthday?”
If only. Mom’s made it clear I’ll need to earn a car. “No.”
“Oh, by the way, she wants to learn to ride, so she can prospect for the club.” Dad informs Mom with an amused chuckle.
“What?”
“I told her to talk to you about that.”
Mom lets out a soft laugh. “I already know how that conversation’s going to go.”
Dad chuckles. Then they’re quiet. Silent, except for some kissey-face noises.
Bit-bit scrunches up her nose. “Ew, let’s go.”
“I’m telling,” Connor whispers from above us.
Bit-bit and I turn to find our annoying little brother peeking around the corner.
“Mind your own business,” I whisper back.
Bit-bit sticks out her tongue, which Connor returns.
“What are the three of you still doing up?” Dad’s voice rumbles from below.
We turn, and he’s standing at the bottom of the stairs with his hands on his hips glaring at the three of us. His mouth twitches, a signal he’s more entertained than angry.
“They woke me up,” Connor shouts.
“Did not,” Bit-bit shoots back.
“Enough!” Mom hollers. “If the three of you aren’t in bed by the time I count to ten, you can kiss Six Flags goodbye.”
“But Mom,” Connor whines.
I roll my eyes. I couldn’t care less about going to Six Flags. We go every year, and it’s lame.
“Fine. I’ll let your cousins know you’re not coming. Grace, Chance, Ivy, Ivan, and Raven will all get to go without you.”
“Nooo.” Bit-bit pouts.
“One—”
“Grace and I don’t want to go anyway,” I say.
“That’s good. You two can stay behind and help me wash all the bikes,” Dad answers. “Rock will be fine with that.”
“Two,” Mom continues.
Bit-bit and Connor scurry back to their rooms.
“Alexa?” Mom’s tone hovers somewhere between concern and exasperation.
I wrap my arms around my legs and glare at her.
Her shoulders drop, and she motions me downstairs. “Come here.”
When I reach her, she brushes my hair out of my face and cups my cheek. “What’s wrong, honey?”
The fight drains out of me, but I don’t know how to answer.
So, I accept her comforting hug and soothing words instead.
If you missed Swagger & Sass when it was available in the Love, Loyalty, and Mayhem anthology, I'll be re-releasing it in December for only .99 cents! Find out who Shelby Morgan is and all about the trip Murphy and Heidi took to Texas, pre-order now, here.
If you've been saving up your episodes to Kickstart My Heart to read all at once, I've got you covered! Kickstart My Heart, the first book of the Kickstart trilogy, will be available in February. Pre-Order here.
Rooster's first full-length book, Rhythm of the Road (Lost Kings MC #16) is also available for pre-order here.
AUTHOR NOTES
I’m SO happy White Lies is finally out in the world!
I missed Heidi and Murphy so much when I finished writing More Than Miles, that I literally sat down and started writing several scenes that ended up making their way into White Lies.
I know a lot of readers expected Teller and Rock’s secret to come to light in this book. Honestly, I thought it would too. The original first chapter was actually structured around that secret. (Actually, my original blurb for the book was too.) But every time I read that first chapter, it felt so…wrong.
Finally, I realized why. This was Murphy and Heidi’s wedding book. They’ve been through so much and Murphy was going to face new challenges after being nominated for VP, that it made no sense to throw Teller’s story in here too. But as we found out, Teller has had some things going on in his life besides adjusting to his new relationship with Rock. (Now we know why he was a bit cranky in the last few books!)
So, when will Teller and Rock let everyone in on their relationship? Well, as Rock (and Teller) would probably say, whenever the fuck they feel like it! Maybe after Grinder’s book. We’ll see!
A few weeks ago, I asked a trusted reader friend if the Axel Apologists (that’s what I call the people who send me the nastiest messages about Axel’s death in More Than Miles) will be pissed when they find out Axel cheated on Heidi. She wisely said, “Do you care? He’s dead.” I also figured, anyone who loved Axel that much, probably isn’t reading this book anyway, so it doesn’t matter.
You see, in my head, I always left the possibility of Axel and Penny having a fling open (after Axel “forgot” to pick her up at the airport.) And honestly, the more vitriol I received about Heidi and Murphy in More Than Miles, the more I started to hate Axel and the more I warmed up to the idea.
Here’s where I should mention Mr. Lake kept trying to make me bring Axel back from the dead. He has a whole ongoing story about how Axel—and his hook for a hand—is working as slave labor on a fishing boat off the coast of Portugal. Why Portugal? I have no idea. Mr. Lake just says that’s where he think Axel washed up. We have a lot of fun conversations like that. In the end, except for his indiscretion coming to light, I wanted to leave Axel resting in peace.
I’m so excited about the future of things in the Lost Kings MC world! I’ve been wanting to write Remy, Griff, and Molly’s story for two years now, so I’m thrilled they’re starting to take on a more active role in the series. I’ll get to their books eventually!
While I eventually want to get to LOKI: Next Gen, I’m not ready to go there yet. I hope the epilogue in Alexa’s point of view left you feeling warm, fuzzy, and satisfied that Heidi’s greatest wish for her daughter—to grow up surrounded by a loving family—had come true. Heidi is one of my favorite characters and I really loved that despite her young age, she always tries to put Alexa’s needs above her own. That’s what that epilogue meant to me and it’s one of the first scenes I wrote for the book.
This year has been wonderful but exhausting. I need to switch gears for a little bit and finally finish the Kickstart My Heart trilogy and put it into the world. I really think you will love it as it almost serves as a bit of a “prequel” to the Lost Kings MC series! If you’ve been reading the episodes in my newsletter, you know what I’m talking about!
After that will be Rooster’s book and then Grinder. Although, future Autumn is weeping because planning that far ahead hurts my brain. In fact, I just realized as I read over my notes from Zero Apologies I said something different for future books. Whoops! No matter what, I have lots in store for these characters. I’m very happy living in their world and I’m so incredibly thankful you enjoy it too!
xo,
Autumn
Also by Autumn Jones Lake
Click on each title to purchase.
THE LOST KINGS MC SERIES
* * *
SLOW BURN (LOST KINGS MC #1)
President of the Lost
Kings MC, Rochlan "Rock" North, hasn't managed to find a woman capable of making him want to curb his wild ways—until he meets sweet, innocent, married lawyer Hope Kendall.
Forced to represent the outlaw biker, Hope is rattled by her immediate attraction to Rock. Hope is a good girl in a good marriage. Rock thrills her, but she's not going to throw away everything she's built on a fling with her criminal client.
* * *
Rock respects Hope enough to leave her alone, even as he realizes he's become a little obsessed with her. When their connection endangers her life, he'll have to destroy her in order to save her.
* * *
After tragedy strikes, Rock is determined to earn Hope's forgiveness and convince her that even with their staggering differences, they're meant to be together.
CORRUPTING CINDERELLA
(LOST KINGS MC #2)
Although widowed attorney Hope Kendall cares deeply for President of the Lost Kings MC, Rochlan "Rock" North, the truth is they come from completely different worlds. Add to that the fact that they are also both headstrong people, and they have a very rough road ahead of them.
Real love isn't a fairy tale.
For Rock that means introducing Hope to what it really means to be part of his brutal and shady world, where the Lost Kings Motorcycle Club is his main focus. For Hope it means accepting the things she can't change, and understanding that Rock is a man who will do anything to keep her safe.
White Lies Page 30
