“Eh, gave us the opportunity to get to know each other a little better,” Red said, “well, you to get to know me.”
“We’ll have plenty of time for you to get to know me once we’ve found the elves and can get out of here.” I replied without looking away from the map, “See, I feel like we should’ve passed them by now…”
“Dax?” Red asked.
“Two seconds…” I muttered as I came to a stop and tried to figure out where the elves were on the map, “Maybe… No, no that’s too far…”
“Dax?”
I nearly asked for another few seconds, but stopped when I realized I was being the cliché of the soon-to-be humorously or horrifically surprised by what the person behind me was trying to tell me.
Yes, I’ve seen movies, and yes, I was starting to remember them.
“How bad?” I asked after finally closing the map.
“I don’t know…” Red trailed off, her relative nonchalance easing me until I remembered just how cool and collected she was, “maybe a six out of ten?”
“Maybe?”
“Yes, maybe. It could also be an eleven.”
“God damn it…” I murmured before slowly turning around, surprising myself with what I saw, “Oh, look who you found.”
“Yep,” Red sighed, her voice in no way reflecting the dire situation she was in, “found the elves.”
CHAPTER 18
“Okay, so let’s all just calm down a bit,” I said as I slowly approached the elves that had Red as good as pinned down, “we’re all friendly here.”
“Well, not all of us,” Red added, wincing as one of the two elves on her wings dug their knees into her ribs and the one that had their foot on her back prodded her with their spear, “I mean, we’re certainly trying, but them?”
“Red,” I murmured after taking another few steps, “as much as I appreciate your input, you’re not really helping here.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Red replied sarcastically, “how silly of me to try and diffuse this thoroughly stressful and potentially deadly scenario with a little bit of humor.”
“How about we put the spear down?” I asked, deciding to ignore Red’s bitter sarcasm.
The elves, unsurprisingly, didn’t say anything.
“Look, I understand that we don’t really talk so much as I speak at you, but it’d be really cool if you went ahead and didn’t kill my friend.”
Again, no answer.
“Yep, fuck this.” Red said before pulling her wings in and then using them to throw all three of the elves off her back.
“Really?” I asked, “I was this close to getting them to get off you.”
“No you weren’t,” Red sighed, “you know my little intuition thing?”
I responded with a confused expression, to which Red groaned and rolled her eyes while the elves finally managed to get back up to their feet.
“I’m sure you’ve realized by now I can sort of…” Red trailed off as she did her best to keep her eyes on the stunned elves, “Well, a lot of people mistake it for mindreading, which it isn’t. I’m very intuitive is all.”
“Alright,” I muttered, hoping to God that her ability was less effective than it sounded, “and that relates to this situation how?”
“Because I know they were waiting for you to shut up so they could kill me.” Red said matter-of-factly as she turned to face the newly regrouped elves that were slowly approaching her, “Isn’t that right?”
The elves, who were thoroughly terrified by Red and her massive wingspan, froze in place, the spear-wielding one clearly considering dropping her weapon.
“Okay,” Red said after looking between the three elves for a few seconds, “what I’m getting is that they want some kind of food from you…”
As much as it may make me sound like I had a head injury, I actually had to think back to what it was they wanted, “Yeah… Yeah, I gave them some fruit and they said, well, they didn’t ‘say’, but basically they told me they wanted two more things.”
“Yes, I’m getting that,” Red murmured as she continued to scan across the elves faces, “alright, I know what they want.”
“You do?” I asked confusedly.
“Mmhm,” Red replied, “you wouldn’t happen to have any cooked fish on you, would you?”
“As a matter of fact…” I muttered before making a large pile of cooked fish appear at the elves’ feet with barely a flick of my wrist, “That should be enough, right?”
“Yep,” Red said happily as the notification telling me that I’d collected two of three foods popped up on my hand, “c’mon, let’s get out of here.”
“What about the other food?” I asked after Red had turned around and left the elves to start devouring the fish in front of them.
“You’re not quite ready to give it to them yet,” Red replied without stopping, “now, would you keep up? We’re going to the beach.”
I was somewhat thrown by how quick we’d gone from Red’s life being threatened to walking towards the beach, but I went ahead and followed after her anyway.
“Are you okay?” I asked once I’d caught up.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Red replied.
“I don’t know, because we spent ages trying to find the elves and their first instinct was to jump you?”
Red shrugged at that and gave me a disingenuous smile, “I’m used to it. Unless I’m in my… more acceptable form I don’t get a warm reception.”
“Really?”
“Yep,” Red said with a nod, “I mean, back when I had money and power it was different, but for the most part people like it when I hide what I am.”
“That’s… that’s kind of sad.”
Again, Red shrugged, “Not really. Just like vamps hide their teeth and werewolves hide their animal side, we succubi keep our ‘scarier’ version hidden.”
“And that works?” I asked, remembering how quickly the others had been able to figure out what Red was.
“For the most part, no. A lot of us make ourselves unique in our other forms when there aren’t blockers, but people see through that for the most part.”
“Then why go on doing it?”
“Security theater,” Red let out with a dejected sigh, “security theater. Are we going to talk about this all day? I don’t mind, I do so love talking about myself after all, but we should probably find some new topics.”
I honestly wanted to keep delving deeper, but I had a feeling that Red was really chasing a subject change.
“Alright,” I said, finally deciding on a topic after Red’s shadow made me jump, “what happened with those elves back there?”
“How do you mean?” Red asked.
“Well, you said I need to sleep with more races, yeah?” I replied, “So, if that’s what you want, why not just tell me what it is exactly that I need to do to achieve that?”
“Because you’re not ready,” Red said, “and, for reasons that should be obvious, I didn’t exactly feel like spending any more time with them than we needed to at that present moment.”
“That answers my next question about why we left so quickly,” I chuckled with a smile, “but what do you mean I’m not ready?”
“Trust me, it’ll make sense when I tell you,” Red replied as we finally reached the empty shelter area, “hmm… Guess the girls will be meeting us at the beach.”
Unsurprisingly, I started to get the feeling that Red was deliberately deflecting, which seemed odd given her whole thing about being straight with each other.
I didn’t really want to chase it down that much though. Besides, it wasn’t like Red wasn’t already as good as a part of the harem, and pressing the issue just seemed like a good way to piss her off.
Anyway, we got through the rest of the short journey to the beach in silence, where I was happy to see Fern and Cassie having the time of their lives out in the water beside the jetty with only their shirts on.
“I see you got over your phobia!” I called out as Red a
nd I got close to the water.
“Wouldn’t say that!” Fern shouted back after spinning around and spotting me, “Cassie’s just been helping me build up something of a tolerance!”
“And how did she manage that!?” I asked as the girls started making their way towards us.
“I threw her off the end of the pier!” Cassie laughed, “You should’ve seen it!”
“It wasn’t that funny,” Fern lightheartedly argued as they got close enough to stop shouting, “but yes, it definitely helped me realize there isn’t that much to be scared of.”
I went to bring up the sharks and the alluring mermaids, but decided against it upon realizing that that would be a great way to kill all her progress.
“So, how’d it go with the dark wood elves?” Fern asked before wringing out her soaking wet hair, “We’re not in for any surprises back at home, are we?”
“Nothing yet,” I replied, “there’s one more thing I have to get them.”
“And what would that be?” Cassie asked after shaking her hair out and billowing her shirt to try and get some of the water out.
“You’ll have to ask Red.” I said, turning their attention to the smiling succubus beside me who was apparently enjoying the wet t-shirts far more than me.
“Hmm?” Red let out after finally noticing that we were all looking at her, “Oh, the thing for the elves? Yeah, no, he’s not ready for it yet.”
“Oh, alright.” Cassie said, earning her a surprised look from me.
“Really?” I scoffed, “You’re happy with that?”
“Well, in the nicest possible way, I’m pretty sure she knows a bit more about the intricacies of race relations than you.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked without bothering to hide the fact that what she’d said had offended me some.
“Because she’s a succubus,” Fern replied, “and judging on what little I know about her, I’d say she’s been around for a while, and the only way she would’ve been able to manage that is with a certain level of… diplomacy.”
“Diplomacy?” I chuckled, “From the chick who woke me up by dropping me from a mile above the ground?”
Red let out a quiet giggle at that, letting me know with an internal sigh of relief that I hadn’t hurt her feelings by running my mouth.
See, I care.
“The fact is that succubi have a way with people.” Fern said, pulling my attention away from Red, “They understand the nuances of most races and you… well, you appeared to have trouble communicating with the opposite sex just a few days ago.”
She had me there, we all knew that, but at the same time I wasn’t quite ready to accept defeat.
“So, we better head back home, yeah?” Cassie asked right before I managed to figure out the perfect sentence.
“Yeah,” Fern agreed with a smile, “we can find some new stuff to fix up and change.”
“That actually reminds me, Dax,” Cassie added, turning to face me as she did so, “do you have any sort of paper or parchment?”
“I… I should have something.” I replied as I disappointedly accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to fix my wounded pride any time soon, “How come?”
“I was hoping to get some ideas down on paper for a new design,” Cassie replied, “like, there’s still some stuff we could do while you and Red do… whatever it is you’re doing here, but there’s other stuff that’s going to need lumber and your Toolbox.”
Not going to lie, there was a part of me that was kind of offended that I was basically being used as a piece of construction equipment, but I managed to hide that with a fake smile as I spawned in an inkwell, a quill, and blank piece of parchment in front of Cassie.
“Will that do?” I asked, maintaining my smile as Cassie eagerly snatched the stuff from the air.
“Mmhm, thank you.” Cassie said without looking at me, instead focusing on not making a mess as she held one corner of the parchment with her somewhat dry thumb and forefinger and the rest of the stuff against her sopping wet chest, “See you guys later.”
And with that, they were gone.
You know what? With what came next, I kind of wish they stuck around.
I needed witnesses for the abuse.
CHAPTER 19
“Heh…” I let out as the two girls disappeared into the jungle, Fern flashing her ass at me as she adjusted her shirt before ducking under a low branch.
“What’s that about?” Red asked curiously.
“It’s just… up until very recently, and I mean very recently, those two could barely occupy the same space without ripping each other to shreds, and now they’re hanging out and overcoming their fears together.” I replied before turning to face Red, “It’s weird is all.”
“Not really,” Red said with a smile, “I get why you’d feel that way, but the truth is that you, for all your faults, are good at bringing people together.”
“You think so?” I asked meekly.
“Well, I’m still here, aren’t I?” Red chuckled before leading me down the beach, “Now, onto business.”
“Yeah, what would that be exactly? Are we getting the final thing for the elves?”
Red shook her head, “Nope, we’re doing something far more important.”
“Which would be?”
“Exercise, my slightly chubby friend, exercise.”
I figured something like that would come along, that one of the girls or even Jesse would end up forcing me to work out, but there was a part of me, the lazy part, that didn’t really feel up to the task.
“How about we start tomorrow?” I asked, pleaded really, and instantly heard how whiney I sounded.
“How about we start now?” Red suggested before coming to a stop and spinning to face me, “Drop and give me ten.”
For a second there I was confused as to what she meant, and then my brain ticked over, “What? Ten pushups?” I chuckled, “Will I have to do a squat too?”
“I’m with the demon on this one,” a familiar voice said, “best to find out what your limitations are.”
“Well hello, Jesse,” Red said with a big smile as the lizard came down the beach towards us, “I trust you had fun on your solo adventure?”
“You could say that,” Jesse replied, reflecting Red's smile before turning his full attention to me, “now, go on, give her ten.”
Again, I chuckled, “Seriously? You think that ten’s all I can do?”
“Honestly?” Red asked, looking me up and down as she did, “Actually, you don’t want me to be honest.”
“What? What’s wrong with me?” I replied defensively as I began to worry that I was bigger than I thought.
“You’re average,” Jesse said, “you look like a guy who just got in a relationship and decided he’d go ahead and relax on his workout regime and go heavy on the cereal for three meals a day.”
“What kind of relationships are you getting into?” Red asked with a laugh.
“Well, based on your reaction, unhealthy ones,” Jesse chuckled back, “now, hurry up, Dax, we ain’t got all day.”
“Not back for more than five seconds and you’re already bossing me around…” I muttered as I got down into a pushup position on the sand, which proved to be more difficult than I’d initially expected.
“You okay down there?” Red laughed after my hand went ahead and decided to slip out from under me, causing me to fall with my mouth open onto the sand.
“I’m fine,” I sighed through a mouthful of sand, accepting that in the world I was in there was a day of the week where I made an ass of myself, “just having some trouble with the sand.”
“Well, stop it,” Jesse jabbed, “the sand is your friend, it’ll force you to stay balanced and get your core strength up.”
I went to mutter something about core strength schmore strength, but successfully managed to smother that urge as I got back into position again.
“You waitin’ for a formal invitation?” Jesse asked snidely.
; I rolled my eyes at that in an attempt to seem cool and nonchalant, but the truth was that I was having a little bit of trouble just holding myself up.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like one of those slapstick cartoon moments, though at the same time it was abundantly clear that I hadn’t done much of anything workout related in a good long while.
“One…” Red goaded.
I let out a sigh, shook my head, and went down.
Let me tell you, I was out of shape.
It felt like someone was snapping rubber bands against my muscles, and when I tried to go back up I could’ve sworn I heard something pop in my head.
“Coming back up?” Red joked before realizing I was genuinely having trouble, “My God, when was the last time you did a pushup?”
“I don’t know, high school?” I replied with more strain in my voice than I’d have liked.
“Alright, well, come up then.” Red sighed.
“I don’t think I can,” I groaned, struggling to stay an inch above the ground as my back sagged and tried to pull me down, “it’s too hard.”
Yeah, that wasn’t one of my proudest moments, and I was damn ready to just give up right then and there when Red had an idea.
“If you get to ten, I’ll transform into anything you like and let you do what you want to me.”
At first that didn’t seem like much, but then my mind started to race with the possibilities and, before I knew it, I’d done one complete pushup.
Then two.
Then three.
Then four.
Then, about twenty seconds later when I was halfway through the fifth, I started seeing spots in my vision and began to get dizzy.
“You doin’ alright?” Jesse asked as I, with more effort than I think I’d ever put into anything up until that point, got all the way through the fifth pushup.
I went to respond, but it turns out that once you get to the point of head-popping there ain’t a whole lot you can say.
“Come on,” Red praised, “four more and you’re done.”
And then I fell flat on my face.
“I can’t…” I grumbled disappointedly as the blood in my head rushed to the rest of my body, “This is some kind of cruel trick, yeah? You’ve done that thing where you put more gravity on me or something?”
Build-A-Harem- The Island Collection Page 22
