When I Saw You

by Laura Branchflower

  “But I wanted to go to the police. That’s how I wanted them exposed. I wanted the police to start investigating.”

  “Going to the police was not the answer. It may have exposed Hall, but it would have hurt you too. As your lawyer and friend, I had to advise you against that.”

  “Maybe that’s true. Maybe I should never have gone to the police, but your motivation for telling me not to go had nothing to do with my reputation or well-being. You wanted to gather more information on your own and—and time the release of the information. The truth is you lied to me.”

  “How did I lie to you?” He brought his eyebrows together. “I may not have told you everything I was doing, everything I was thinking, but I didn’t lie to you.”

  “Yes, you did! You represented yourself under false pretenses. I thought you were my lawyer. Claudia thought you were her lawyer. But you were using us to get information.”

  “Look.” He reached across the table and covered one of her hands. “You wanted them to pay for what they did to you.”

  “Forget it—”

  “No, no.” He gripped her hand when she attempted to pull it back. “Did you or did—”

  “Forget it,” she repeated, louder this time, but there was no quieting Joseph, who continued to talk over her interruption.

  “Did you or did you not tell me all you were interested in was having the operation exposed?”

  “Fine.” Lia sighed. “Fine, whatever you say. You were trained at the top law school in the country. I don’t have a chance to win in an argument with you, regardless of whether or not I’m right. You’re twisting everything I say to fit your argument.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m trying to point out that you got exactly what you wanted.”

  “And you certainly got what you wanted too, didn’t you, Joseph?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  She felt defeated, numb, like she’d been in a physical fight, and there he sat, completely calm, as if he really believed there was nothing wrong with what he’d done. “Was it worth it?”

  “Worth what?”

  “Hurting me. Breaking the law. I mean, isn’t what you did considered insider trading?”

  His lips turned up. “Technically, I suppose. Are you planning to turn me in?”

  “This isn’t funny, Joseph.”

  “It certainly wouldn’t be if you decided to turn me in.”

  “This is serious. I feel like you’ve betrayed me.” She laid her hand on her chest as she pleaded with her eyes for some level of understanding.

  “But I didn’t. I can’t help what you think or feel. All I know is my own motivation. And it certainly wasn’t to betray you.”

  She dropped her face into her hands for several seconds before once again lifting her head and meeting his eyes. “I know it wasn’t to betray me. It was to make a bunch of money—”

  “And to expose Hall and Zurtech for what they did to you.”

  “That may have been an outcome, but that wasn’t your motivation. Your motivation was to make the money.”

  “My motivation for taking any case is to make money. But I guess because I fell in love with you, I was expected to handle the case pro bono?” He finished the coffee in his mug and pushed back his chair. “You want some more?” he asked, reaching for her empty cup.

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’m going to leave.”

  “Leave?” Joseph slowly sat back down. “Where are you going to go?”

  “Home.” She suddenly felt close to tears, but she was determined not to cry. “You betrayed my trust. You can pretend you didn’t because I ultimately got what I wanted, but it doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t honest with me. That your overriding motivation was to make money.”

  “So you’re leaving?”

  “I can’t trust you.”

  “You aren’t serious. You’re leaving because of a little misunderstanding?”

  “It’s not a misunderstanding. We have completely different ethics. To me, lying by omission is the same as lying. I mean, in your world, I guess Ned didn’t betray me when he started sleeping with Candice.”

  “In my world?”

  “Right. Because he never told me he wasn’t sleeping with her, so he wasn’t really being dishonest.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That as your fiancée, the woman you’re supposed to love more than anyone else in the world, there shouldn’t be any omission. We’ve been together over a year, and if there wasn’t anything wrong with what you were doing, why didn’t you ever mention it to me?”

  “Because it didn’t have anything to do with you. I wasn’t stealing money from you. I wasn’t doing anything to you. It was none of your business.”

  Lia’s mouth dropped open and she could feel her face heating up. “None of my business! If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have made that money.”

  “No, if it weren’t for me, I wouldn’t have made that money. I spent over a hundred thousand dollars on the investigation. Without the information I uncovered, nothing would have happened. Neither of us would have gotten what we wanted.”

  “Oh, I see.” Lia stood up and glared down at him. “Now I’m supposed to be grateful to you?”

  “No.” He reached out for her arm, but she stepped back before he could touch her. “You don’t have to be grateful, but I think you’re blowing this completely out of proportion. This isn’t a big deal.”

  “But why?” Lia met his eyes. “Why would you be so desperate to make money?”

  “Because of Eastman. I want to meet him before he dies.”

  Of course, Lia thought as she slowly lowered herself back into her chair. How could she not have realized it sooner? His whole purpose for being was to make the Forbes list so he could meet his father, and that obsession resulted in him not only betraying her, but also betraying his ethics and probably his partners too. “But you broke the law. I mean, you used information from a client who came to your firm to manipulate the stock market. If it came out, your whole firm would suffer.”

  “It’s not going to come out. I covered myself. Most of my money was made through the small electronics firm. The SEC would have a hard time proving insider trading there.”

  “But why would you even take the chance?” Lia was trying her best to understand. “Just the hint of an investigation would hurt your law firm.”

  “I needed to finish this.” He gripped her hand. “I’m going to make the list this year. He’s going to see how successful I am.”

  “But what about the rest of us, Joseph? Is this why Tony seemed so distracted when I ran in to him yesterday? Does he know what you did?” His lack of response was all the answer she needed. She could feel herself getting angry all over again at the ludicrousness of his motivation. Here he was, hands down the most intelligent person she’d ever know, more concerned with what a stranger thought of him than his fiancée and best friend.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re right, I don’t. Because from where I’m sitting, it seems you care more about impressing a man you don’t even know than being loyal to the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

  “One has nothing to do with the other. I’ve been working towards this goal my entire life, and I’ve finally reached it. You should be happy for me.”

  “I’m happy it’s over, if it really is. What happens if he makes the list too? Does that mean you’ll have to do whatever it takes to make more money for another year?”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “But what if it does?”

  “It won’t. It’s over.”

  Lia sighed as she pulled her hand back and once again stood up. “You’re thinking is so warped.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Well, at least we can agree on that. We should probably drop it because this isn’t a big deal.”

  “And that is the problem,” Lia said, pointing
at him. “The fact that you don’t realize what a big deal it is shows how different we really are. I can’t spend my life with someone who thinks what you did was okay. I can’t.”

  “So, what?” Joseph laughed. “Now you’re breaking up with me over this?”

  “I don’t know.” Lia’s voice caught as she met his eyes. “I don’t know. I need to think. I have to go.”

  “Lia!” Joseph was out of his chair and following her into the family room, taking hold of her arm and forcing her to stop. “Look at me!” He gripped her upper arms and turned her to face him. “Remember me? I’m the man you made love with last night. How can you even imply that you’re not sure about us? I love you. You love me.”

  “I don’t know if that’s enough.”

  His eyes opened wider. “You don’t know if that’s enough?”

  She dropped her gaze, refusing to let the pain so evident in his eyes sway her from what she knew she had to do. She remembered the pain in her father’s eyes when he told her he was leaving the family and then in Ned’s eyes the first time he told her he was leaving. It certainly didn’t mean they were better people than she thought they were. It just meant at those moments, they were feeling pain. “You lied to me, Joseph. And you used me.” When she pulled back, he let her go, dropping his hands to his sides.

  “I’m sorry you see it that way, because I love you more than anything in this world. And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

  “And you really don’t see anything wrong with what you did?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I don’t, but it obviously hurt you, and that certainly wasn’t my intention.”

  “What was your intention? To impress a man you don’t even know, without thought to how I would feel? You betrayed me, Joseph. You betrayed me to better a man you don’t even know.”

  He scraped a weary hand down his face as he closed his eyes. “Why can’t you understand?”

  “I do understand. You’re the one that doesn’t understand. You put money before my feelings.”

  “You’re thinking of this wrong.”

  She held up her hands. “I need to get out of here. I can’t bear another minute of this.”

  “Lia—”

  “No. Please, don’t say another word.” And with that she left.

  Lia glanced at her cell phone. It was almost 11:00 p.m., and she hadn’t heard a word from Joseph since leaving his condominium that morning. She’d cried the whole drive back to the townhouse, unable to reconcile how the man who claimed to love her could put his desire for revenge before all else. She couldn’t believe it, and yet it was the truth. He was more concerned with impressing his biological father than protecting the woman he professed to love.

  When she’d arrived home ten hours earlier she was convinced the relationship was over, that Joseph was the same as her father and Ned—someone who couldn’t be trusted. But as the day progressed, little cracks began developing in her resolve. Her mind kept conjuring up images of him running to the hospital when Taylor was sick, images of him pulling her fully clothed into the shower, images of him threatening Ned for disrespecting her, and finally a recurring image of him bending down on one knee and asking her to be his wife.

  As hard as her mind tried to tell her otherwise, she couldn’t believe he was like her father and Ned. She knew he’d betrayed her, but it was more the betrayal of a fourteen-year-old boy than the man he was today. He’d made a vow to himself as a boy and apparently never reexamined it as a man. It was true he’d let it consume a large portion of his energy, but he was still the most amazing man she had ever known.

  Part of her feared she was rationalizing his behavior because she didn’t have the strength to let him go, but the truth was she didn’t have the strength to let him go. She knew choosing to end her relationship with Joseph would be something she would regret every day for the rest of her life.

  She picked up her empty wine glass and was on her way to the kitchen when she heard the doorbell. She closed her eyes, giving a silent prayer of thanks, and then was setting down her glass and making her way to the front door.

  Moments later, she pulled open the door, her eyes meeting Joseph’s. He looked as bad as she felt. He was dressed uncharacteristically casually, in worn jeans and a Harvard T-shirt, his hair uncombed, his eyes red, but he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

  “I’ll give it away,” he said deeply, his eyes meeting hers. “I’ll give every dollar I have away if it means keeping you.”

  “Joseph.” Lia shook her head.

  “I will.” He was in the house, his hands moving to the sides of her face. “None of it means anything to me if I can’t share it with you.”

  “I love you,” she said softly, tears coming to her eyes. “I could never leave you.”

  “Thank God.” He kissed her forehead as he pulled her into his arms. “Thank God.”

  As Tony approached the reception area in front of his office Monday morning, Joseph stood to greet him.

  “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show.”

  “I’m a few minutes late.” Tony glanced at his watch. He’d left a message for Joseph saying he wanted to meet with him at 10:00 a.m.

  “Good morning, Jennifer.” Tony turned his attention to his secretary. “Would you hold my calls?” He preceded Joseph into his office. “Have a seat.”

  “I know you’re upset,” Joseph began as soon as they were seated, “but I think I can explain this so you’ll understand.”

  “I’m listening.”

  It took Joseph exactly twelve minutes to explain why he had risked his reputation and the reputation of the firm in order to make a virtual killing on the stock market. By the time he finished, Tony’s anger had returned.

  “Let me get this straight.” There was a smile of disbelief on his face. “All of this, all your investments. You did it so you could make the Forbes list and meet Eastman?”

  “Yes.”

  “How much did you make?”

  “About three hundred million.”

  “So you think you have the money now?” If he was surprised by the amount, his face didn’t register it.

  Again, Joseph nodded, but this time more hesitantly. “Yes. I think I do.”

  “Congratulations,” Tony said after several seconds of silence. “You accomplished everything you set out to and, if I’m as lucky as you’ve been, you won’t bring this firm down in the process. Not that it would matter to you, especially if the fines weren’t large enough to cut too severely into your net worth.”

  “Nothing’s going to—”

  “Is there anything else?” Tony interrupted coldly. “Because I met with Kevin over the weekend and…” He paused as he leaned over and picked up his briefcase. “We came up with the terms for your departure.”

  Joseph laughed. “What are you talking about?”

  Tony opened the briefcase and pulled out a folder, opening it quickly before holding it out. “Here. Why don’t you go through this over the next day or so? I wrote it myself. It’s fairly straightforward and, under the circumstances, more than generous.”

  Joseph frowned. “Did you listen to what—”

  “Every word. And like I said, congratulations on accomplishing everything you set out to. I’m sure Eastman will be duly impressed. And now I’d like you to disassociate yourself from this firm.”

  “I don’t want to disassociate myself from this firm.”

  “Well.” Tony cocked his head to the side. “Then I guess you should have handled yourself in a way that would have benefited all of us and not only yourself.”

  “Tony, this was it.” He held up the index finger of his right hand. “One time, just one time. You can go through my files. Before Zurtech, I never—”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late, Joe. I don’t trust you, and I told you Friday I won’t work with someone I don’t trust.”

  Joseph gripped the folder in his hand, making no move to look at
the contents inside. “You told Kevin about this?”

  “No.” Tony lowered his eyes to his hands and studied his fingernails. “I told him you were leaving.”

  Joseph’s face turned red. “Our friendship means so little to you?”

  “Our friendship was important to me, and you took advantage of it. Kevin tried to warn me about you for years—about your insatiable appetite for money—but I wouldn’t listen because you were my friend, and I didn’t believe you were capable of doing something to jeopardize what we’d worked so hard to create. I trusted you. But I was wrong, because your obsession with making the Forbes list was apparently more important to you than anything else.”

  “I’m ready to be a full-time partner again. This is what I love to do.”

  “Well you’re going to have to do it elsewhere, because I can’t work with you.” His jaw was set as he looked at Joseph.

  “So, that’s it.”

  “Yes, that’s it.”

  Joseph looked down at his hands, which were shaking. “Kevin must be overjoyed.”

  “This isn’t about Kevin. You brought this on yourself.”

  “Okay.” He nodded as he stood up. “I guess I’ll go read this.” He held up the file. He crossed to the door, stopping with his hand on the knob. “Besides Lia, you’re the only person I’ve ever told about Eastman, and I thought you understood.” He looked back over his shoulder. “You know what he did to me. You know. How can you not understand what I did?”

  “I know what he did. And I know how deeply you feel about him, Joe, but that can’t begin to justify what you did. You betrayed the trust of every person at this firm, and you put us in jeopardy.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Joseph said before leaving the room.

  “I’m sorry too, Joe,” Tony said to the empty room.

  Two weeks later, Joseph lay on his bed fully clothed, waiting for Lia to arrive for dinner, the music of Copland’s Fanfare to the Common Man blaring through the stereo speakers as he stared up at the skylights above his bed. He’d been in the same position for over an hour.