What? Tears pooled in her deep crystal blue eyes as she gazed back at me before, one at a time, they slowly slid down her round cheeks landing on my hands that still gripped her face. I suddenly felt the magnetic pull between us return full force.
I didn’t completely understand what she was trying to tell me, but in that particular moment it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she does care about me. She does want to be with me. She is serious about me. About us.
Tightening my grip on her I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her so deeply, so passionately that it threatened to make me dizzy when I finally released her to take a breath. My eyes stayed closed as I rested my forehead against hers. It felt so good to know that I didn’t lose her. That she was still mine. That I was still hers.
“I’m sorry.” I heard her small voice mumble again and I took her into my arms.
“Tell me why,” I stated coolly.
“Why what?” She leaned back in my arms so she could see my face.
“Why didn’t you want her to know about me? About us? Are you ashamed of me, Quinn? Just tell me the truth.” I held my breath and searched her eyes as I waited for her answer.
She shook her head back and forth and I felt her grip my t-shirt as if she were holding on for dear life. “No, no, of course not.”
“Then why?”
“It’s hard to explain,” she started to lower her head again, but I lifted her chin up to me, stopping her infuriating habit.
“I need you to try, Quinn.”
She ran a hand over her face as she searched for the words. I could tell whatever it was she was trying to say was difficult for her to get out. Maybe this is why she had been holding back before? I tried to be patient and give her time to formulate her thoughts, but the waiting was becoming frustrating. My eyes focused in on her soft pink lips trying to will the words to come out of them.
“I-I guess the best way to put it is I don’t have a great relationship with my parents.” I remained silent, forcing her to explain.
“To be more accurate, I have a terrible relationship with my parents. They basically control my life and I couldn’t let my mom see that I care about you because I know she would try to ruin it or at the very least use it against me. Not just that, but it killed me the way she treated you. I was just trying to protect you…” Her lip began to quiver and I thought she might start to cry again.
“Hey, don’t worry about that. Her words don’t bother me. She doesn’t bother me. I don’t care what she thinks. I only care what you think. The only thing that can hurt me here is you, Quinn.” I adjusted my hold on her and wrapped a protective arm around her waist pulling her closer to me. I was starting to realize that this must be where her lack of confidence stemmed from. “Do you want to be with me, Quinn?”
I looked directly into her eyes and pushed back strands of her chestnut hair from her face. She stared back at me and then, without hesitation, she nodded her response and lifted to her tiptoes in the adorable way that she does before wrapping her hands behind my neck and gently pressing her lips to mine as if to stamp the confirmation onto me.
“There’s something else we need to talk about too, Tucker. Can I come over after class today?” She asked hesitantly and concern immediately spiked through me.
“Okay.” I replied, sounding more like a question than an answer. Then remembering the news I got from Coach yesterday, I realized there was something I wanted to talk to her about too. “I actually have practice today, but I can come get you after that. If we’re going to do this, for real, there’s something I need to talk to you about too.”
“Okay,” she agreed quietly and left out a strained breath.
* * *
Quinn
I slowly spun the glass of ice water around on the counter top as I nervously waited for Tucker to get out of the shower. The cool droplets of condensation clung to my fingertips, wetting them. This was the first time I had ever been to Tucker’s apartment and I’d desperately wished it were under different circumstances. Circumstances like he’d just won his game and he wanted to fuck me on every surface in this place, kind of circumstances.
Since having sex with him for the first time, I haven’t been able to get it off of my mind. I was seriously starting to feel like a nymphomaniac. All I could think about was doing it again.
And again.
And again.
Who knew all this time I had been depriving myself of something so incredible, so magical. Or maybe that’s only because it happened with Tucker. Regardless, I wanted more. I wanted him more, in every way I could think of.
My eyes roamed around the room as I considered where and how he would take me here. My tongue rolled over my lips as I caught sight of his modern, stainless steel countertops. The cold hard surface would be an exhilarating contrast to the warm soft bed he initially made love to me in. A tingle raced up my spine at the thought. No. I need to stop. Now’s not the time.
I released a shaky breath and my mind changed tracks as I planned out my speech for the umpteenth time in my head. This was it. I had been hiding the secret of the pledge requirement for too long and I had to tell him now before Amanda got the chance. I needed him to know that it was never about the requirement for me. I needed him to know that I loved him.
My heart rate doubled when I heard the bathroom door open and Tucker strided into the living room, wearing nothing but a towel that seemed to be strategically tucked in just barely above his shaft. Beads of water still rolled over the defined muscular curves of his body making his sculpted form glisten in the light. My jaw dropped open at the appetizing sight and the speech I had practiced in my mind suddenly vanished.
Poof.
Gone.
Like a damn cartoon thought cloud.
He strolled toward me, perfectly aware of what he was doing, and grinned wickedly.
“Wanna come help me get dressed, baby?”
I love playful Tucker. But I love practically naked playful Tucker ten times more! His green eyes tempted and teased me and his teeth stabbed into his bottom lip in that delicious way that they do. My panties were soaked in an instant. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to climb on top of him right then and there. Instead, I caught my breath and remembered why I came here.
“I really think we should talk first, Tucker,” I gulped.
His expression grew serious and he nodded his head as he made his way back toward his bedroom. I pressed my thighs together in a futile attempt to control my sudden arousal. An impossible feat where Tucker was concerned. But I managed.
Barely.
He returned a few minutes later in mesh shorts and a t-shirt and I left out a breath of relief. If he had been exposed at all, I’m not sure I would have been able to focus on anything else with how turned on I was.
He sat down next to me, his leg brushing against mine as he slid into his seat.
“Do you want to start or should I?” he asked optimistically and I felt my heart pang with ache. He has no idea what’s coming.
“I’ll start,” I offered quietly and he turned his shoulders to face me. I could feel his deep hunter greens gazing at me intently and for a second I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. Then I sucked in a deep breath and let it out, “I need to tell you something.”
He raised a brow, but remained quiet.
“Well, you know that I was pledging Kappa Delta Phi, right?”
He nodded, but still didn't speak and his expression became more weary and curious as his eyes narrowed on me.
“Well, one of the acceptance requirements is to…” I paused and closed my eyes, trying to conjure up the courage to finish my sentence when Tucker suddenly interrupted, making my mouth go dry and surprising me.
“You fucked me for my ID,” he seethed coldly, finishing the sentence that I couldn’t.
“Wait… how did you…”
“Because, Quinn, I’m a senior and that stupid fucking requirement isn’t new. As a matter of fact, Amanda Charleston tried
to pull the same fucking stunt a year or two ago, but I caught her trying to take it… among other things.” A deep crease formed between his brows and I watched the anger build from inside him. It seemed like there was more to that story than he was telling me. Like he wanted to say more about it, but stopped himself. “I never expected you to stoop this low. I really thought you were different.”
A lump started to form in the back of my throat making it difficult to breathe. He was angry and had every right to be. I tricked him. I lied to him. Even if that wasn’t my primary intention, I still did it.
“Tucker, I…” I reached for his arm but he immediately jerked away. Tears began filling my eyes laced with desperation. I could feel him slipping away, right between my fingers.
“Don’t fucking touch me! You don’t get to fucking touch me,” he growled.
“It was never about the ID or Kappa Delta Phi or the stupid fucking requirment for me!” I shouted as I rose from my seat. He stood too and began pacing across the room.
“Please Tucker. You have to understand,” I begged as I struggled to match him step for step since one of his strides was equal to two of mine. “My parents… they…”
“You’re parents?” he snapped his head around, startling me to a halt. “Your parents do not make your decisions for you, Quinn! You did this. You chose to lie to me. You chose this. Don’t blame them.” With each statement he bit out I felt a nail being driven deeper and deeper into my chest.
Tears of pain, guilt, and desperation streamed down my cheeks as I tried to find the words to fix this.
But I couldn’t.
Because words couldn’t fix this.
I couldn’t fix this.
I watched him run a hand through his hair before pausing briefly. He walked to the couch and grabbed his wallet from the side pocket of his duffle bag. He flipped through the plastic sleeves and left out an exasperated breath when he saw his ID was, in fact, missing. He rested his hands on his hips then turned back to me.
Without looking at me he asked, “Can I at least have it back? I don’t need them getting their hands on it and parading what happened around campus.”
My lips began to quiver as I formulated my response, “I don’t have it...I-I gave it to Amanda.”
He stared at the ground, his stature hard, solid, and cold like stone and I watched his jaw tick as he thought. The air between us grew cold. I held my breath waiting on him to react. He finally turned to look at me. His once all consuming green eyes were now hallowed and void of feeling.
“Then it sounds like you took everything you needed from me. I guess you’d better leave.”
Three
Quinn
It was late and dark. Luckily, it was nice outside and the early summer air was warm, even at night. I could’ve called Chastity to come pick me up, give me a ride home. But I chose not to. I didn’t deserve a ride. I deserved to walk every step of the eight miles back to my dorm from Tucker’s apartment. I deserved that and more after what I’d done.
I counted my footsteps as they hit the pavement. It was the only thing I could do to keep my mind off the look on Tucker's face. The look of hurt. Betrayal. Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-three…
Then my phone buzzed in my pocket causing a surge of hope to rush through me. Maybe it’s him. Maybe he’s changed his mind. Maybe he wants to talk this out. But my hopes were dashed when I saw Raegan’s name flashing across the screen. Not wanting to talk to anyone right now, I thought for a moment about declining her call, but then realized she may have talked to Tucker.
“Hey,” I whimpered into the phone, trying and failing to mask the pain I was in.
“Quinn, hey. Where are you?” she asked, concern thick in her voice.
“Uh, just out for a walk.” I intentionally tried to stay vague so she wouldn’t attempt to rescue me from my self-inflicted punishment.
“Listen, we should talk. Can I come get you or can we meet somewhere?”
“Umm, I don’t know. I really just want to be alone right now.”
“Well, Nate is on the phone with Tucker and I don’t think you should be alone. I’ll meet you at the High Street Diner. It’s only a block from Tucker’s apartment and they serve the best late night breakfast. I think you could use some comfort food right about now.”
Her kindness made me smile and as much as I wanted to deprive myself of any sort of pleasures or comforts at the moment, she was right. I could really use a friend right now.
“Okay,” I breathed.
“I really fucked things up with him, didn’t I, Raegan?”
I rested my chin in my hand as I glumly watched Raegan gloss over the menu. I glanced at mine too, but ultimately decided I wasn’t hungry. I couldn’t eat right now.
“Look, Quinn, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m pretty pissed off, myself, with what you did to him. I don’t care about your reasons for it. At the end of the day, it was messed up,” she chided, sliding her hand through the air to solidify her point.
“But…” she started again and I looked up at her, fully ready to take my lumps from one of Raegan’s infamous tongue lashings that I’ve heard so much about, but it didn’t come. “Tucker is a very tough guy. At least on the outside. On the inside, that boy has got a soft spot for you and I truly believe you care about him too.” Her tone was softer now and a small smile appeared on her face.
I shook my head in disbelief. “You didn’t see his face. You didn’t see how upset he was.”
“You need to understand, Quinn…” she paused for a moment as if she was deciding whether or not to continue. “For Tucker… this was deeper than just lieing to him about some stupid sorority pledge. What Amanda did to him was super fucked up and I think in his mind, he’s blending the two events together.”
“What do you mean?”
She glanced around hesitantly for a moment before she continued. “I really shouldn’t say. Nate doesn’t even know that I know, but I heard him and Tucker talking about it one night.”
The eerie tone of her voice made my blood run cold and I shivered when a chill ran up my arms.
“Please, Raegan. Tell me.”
She left out a sigh and pushed back some curls from her face. “Well, a few years ago Tucker and Amanda dated for a while.”
This much I already knew so I waited patiently for her to continue.
“Well, Amanda moreso used Tucker than actually dated him,” she clarified as she rolled her eyes.
“Used him how? For his ID? But he wasn’t a senior two years ago?” My questions came out in rapid bursts, but I couldn’t help it. It was like watching a car crash that I couldn’t look away from. I needed to know more.
“The requirement wasn’t always restricted to just seniors, Quinn. But that wasn’t the worst way she used him.”
“Okay…”
“After Tucker got his offer from the Rainiers, the news spread around campus. Fast. It was huge . One of our classmates was being drafted to a Triple-A team. That’s one small step away from the Major Leagues… and he was only a sophomore! ”
Just hearing her talk about it made me excited for him. You could tell Raegan truly cared about Tucker by the pride reflected in her eyes as she spoke about him. Knowing he had her on his side made me happy yet again.
“He got the news shortly after he and Amanda started seeing each other and when she found out she became… clingy. Like super clingy. Like it was sickening how attached she made herself to him in just a short time. And it was so obvious to everyone that it was all an act. That she was only with him because of his chances in the big leagues. Obvious to everyone, except for Tucker that is.”
The more she talked, the more my chest constricted and I was finding it difficult to breathe. I didn’t want to hear anymore, but I couldn’t stop listening. I had to understand what he went through. Just the thought of someone taking advantage of his beautiful, kind heart made tears prick in my eyes, but I bit them back as Raegan continued.
“Before he
got his offer he busted her trying to steal his student ID and we tried to convince him then that she was just using him, but he didn’t want to hear it. And Amanda, being the smooth talker that she was, explained it away as a joke. It wasn’t until he caught her trying to poke holes in his condoms that he finally saw her for what she was. An evil manipulative bitch who couldn’t be trusted.”
A lump formed in my throat as I tried to choke back tears. I’m not even sure where they came from so suddenly, but they bubbled to the surface before I could even attempt to stop them.
“Oh my God! I’m horrible for what I did to him,” I sobbed. “He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve any of it.”
“Hey, hey, hey…” Raegan soothed.
She reached across the table and patted my arm. “He really likes you, Quinn. I’ve never seen him act toward anybody the way he is with you. He’ll come around. He just needs time.”
Time.
I sniffled back a few more tears that clung to my eye lids.
The semester is halfway over. In just a few weeks, he’ll graduate. Gone. And a few weeks after that he’ll be drafted to some high regarded baseball club on the other side of the damn country. I don’t have the luxury of time. And Raegan too. She graduates soon. Suddenly the thought of coming back to campus after summer and not having Tucker or Raegan here felt empty, depressing at best.
But I couldn’t let myself focus on that right now.
“What can I do?” I asked pleadingly.
She shrugged apologetically, “Try to make it right?”
* * *
Tucker
Wednesday
“What don’t you get, man? She fucking lied to me,” I spat at Nate, aggrivated that he’s still trying to defend her. “And of all people to involve… Amanda! Fucking Amanda? You know the shit she tried to pull on me before.”
“So what? So, Quinn lied about having some stupid ass sorority commitment to fulfill. Did she say that was her only reason for sleeping with you? Cause I’m pretty sure that’s what Amanda told you after you ended things with her. You need to stop taking your hatred for Amanda out on Quinn like what they did was the same. It was not the same damn thing. Not even close.”
Curveball (For the Love of the Game #3) Page 2
