by Nia Arthurs
This is crazy.
This is… insane, right?
I shouldn’t feel this connected to Hansley this soon.
It shouldn’t be this intense.
I need to slow down.
My parents went full-speed ahead the moment they met. They raced from a first meeting to hooking up to pregnancy and marriage.
I wanted slow steps. That’s all I gave myself permission to have last night. It’s what Hansley and I agreed to.
Tiny steps.
A snail-like pace.
So how the hell did I get all the way over here, breathless and losing my heart completely? How did I end up in the deep end when my plan was simply to wade through the shallows?
I feel like I’m lapping at choppy waves, struggling to keep my head up in waters that could swallow me whole if I stop fighting. No life vests. No rescue boats.
Just me and a never-ending ocean.
I can feel myself getting tired.
Feel myself sinking deep.
Into him.
Into Hansley.
But what waits for me in those dark depths?
The kind of love his parents fostered and built for decades? Or the pain and bitterness of the drawn-out divorce my parents had?
Can a marriage that started from a drunken hookup in Vegas even turn into something real? Does that ever happen?
“Stop.” Hansley’s voice is husky. His instruction becomes clear when he reaches out and releases my bottom lip from my teeth.
Flames lick at my spine as the pad of his thumb brushes my moist flesh.
His eyes search mine, peeling back the layers and exposing all the raw, throbbing places. “Stop it, Asia.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
I choke. “You’re not worried?”
“Of what?” He shakes his head. “Being here with you, that’s all that matters right now.”
“What happens when we get up from here? When we go back to the real world. We still have to meet my parents. You need to convince Jensen to reconsider the contract. We have interviews for Make It Marriage—”
“There’s nothing on my mind in this moment but you,” Hansley whispers. His eyes hold me spell-bound. There’s some emotion in them. A softness when he looks at me that wasn’t there before. “The rest can wait.” He keeps rubbing my lip. “Anyone ever tell you that you worry too much?”
“Once or twice.”
“Stop.”
“Sure thing. Let me just reach inside my brain.” I glare at him. “It’s not a switch I can flip.”
He slants me a devastatingly gorgeous, lopsided smile. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”
“I’m not angry.”
“Annoyed then.” He grins.
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re especially obnoxious in the morning?”
“Nope.” He takes my hand and interlaces our fingers. "Never had a woman in my bed in the morning.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Mm-mm.” He pulls me into a deeper hug and rests his head on mine. His musky fragrance—a mixture of sweat, body wash and me—fills my nostrils. “But I like it.”
“What?”
“Cuddling.”
I laugh. “You’re insane.”
His smile curves against my hair. “And you’re still tense. You're still worrying?”
“It’s a habit.”
“From?”
“Years of living with two parents who were too busy getting back at each other to remember I had a dental appointment on Tuesday and a dance recital on Friday.”
“That must have been hard for you.”
“It is what it is. Knowing why I am the way I am doesn’t necessarily change anything—which is contrary to what my family therapist said when my parents dragged me there every evening after the divorce.”
He chuckles. “You poor thing.”
“Don't make fun. I still have nightmares about that place.”
“Did they at least help?”
“A little.” I nuzzle my nose against his chest. “I understand myself a little better because of it. I need to be in control. I need everything in order to feel at peace.”
“And you’re not in control right now,” he says thoughtfully.
“We have too many plates spinning in the air.”
“Let them spin.”
I groan. “Hansley.”
“Let them crash if they have to. I promise,” he eases back and looks down at me, “the world won’t burn if you let a few things slide and enjoy yourself.”
“Says the playboy billionaire who can afford to fool around.”
“Is that what we’re doing?”
“You tell me.”
His chest vibrates on a chuckle. “Let it go, Asia.”
My phone buzzes.
I try to sit up.
He pulls me back down.
“What if it’s Kayla or Venus?” I ask breathlessly.
“They can wait.”
“What if it’s Tierra or Ina?”
He brushes a kiss against my neck. “Them too.”
As his lips work against me, I start to forget my train of thought.
And the matter at hand.
And my own name.
A quiet moan tumbles from my lips and fills the air with a note of need.
How dangerous.
Hansley put all my rushing thoughts to rest with one well-placed touch. There’s something wrong about that, isn’t there? But I’m too caught up in him to figure out what.
“Be here with me.” He kisses my lips slowly, his hands slipping beneath the blankets. “Focus on me.”
“I—”
He swallows the word with his mouth.
And then he swallows the groan that follows.
My heart bucks in my chest, pounding faster and faster to match the rhythm of his fingers.
Stars explode behind my eyes.
Every thought blows apart with it.
He’s right. I can worry about the rest later.
I need him now.
He chuckles as I roll over him and straddle his waist, pressing myself against his hips. “I’m here.”
“Are you?” He caresses my upper thigh.
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.” The words get trapped in my throat and it frightens me to say them but I do. “And there’s no other man I’d rather be with.”
Hansley’s eyes soften into liquid chocolate.
My heart bucks as he reaches for me.
“Wait.” I press my palm to his chest.
He does.
My lips ease down against his chin. “Let me…”
I finish the rest of the statement in his ear.
He grins wickedly.
I summon my confidence, toss my hair over my shoulder and work on giving him every pleasure he gave me last night.
He trembles. Moans.
I grin at the power in my hands. In my mouth.
Hansley’s impatience takes over. He grabs that power right out of my hands and throws me back on the bed.
Gripping my ankles in one hand, he thrusts my legs against my chest and devours me.
The mattress creaks.
His grunts pound into the wall.
My whimpers turn to screams.
When I reach for him blindly, he finds me and takes my hand. Hansley presses his sweaty forehead against mine and his curly hair scratches against my eyelids.
As my head spins with pleasure and my body wafts lazily down from the high, I think I hear him say, ‘I love you’.
But there’s no way Hansley feels that strongly about me.
I don’t allow myself to dwell on it.
To taint this perfect moment with my crazy imagination.
We’re going slow.
Even if his version of ‘slow’ grabs me by the throat and drags me away at breakneck speed.
Pushing my doubts away, I arch up and kiss him.
This is as far as I’ll go for right n
ow.
I need to hold back just enough of my heart to protect myself.
Just in case… this dream turns out to be a nightmare.
Twenty-Four
Hansley
“Ma, you need to let her go so she can breathe,” I grouse, checking my watch as my mother squeezes Asia close.
“Oh, stop complaining.” Mom slants me a dark look. “You have the rest of your life to be with her. There’s no need to be so darn impatient.”
Dad chuckles.
Asia smiles up at me. She pulled most of her locks into a ponytail, but left two tendrils out. A gentle wind brushes the strands against her warm brown cheeks. Her eyes glitter with happiness and satisfaction.
As they should.
I made sure to rock her world several times this morning before mom called us for breakfast.
Asia looks at my mother. “Thank you so much for everything, Zo.”
“What are you thanking me for, dear? We're family.” Mom twitters, her blue eyes turning to pure navy. “I don’t know if Hansley will ever let you out of his sight,” she teases, "but when you manage to get away, please do come and visit us.”
“I will,” Asia says, her smile fracturing.
Her eyes meet mine for a split second and I see guilt there.
She and my mom clicked after their rocky start. Doesn’t matter that they’re different races and different ages. Doesn’t matter that Asia’s a newlywed and Mom’s been married for decades.
Mom fell for Asia almost as quickly as I did.
The love was reciprocated so I get why Asia’s torn up about maintaining our deceit.
I nod at my wife, offering silent reassurance.
Dad squeezes my shoulder.
I give him a hug. “See yah, dad.”
“Treat her right,” dad grumbles in my ear.
It’s not a suggestion.
Or a request.
He leans back and gives me a solid look—the one only a father can give to his son. I recognize the weight of his instructions and the pride in his eyes.
Dad believes in me.
Even if I don’t necessarily believe in myself.
A lump in my throat, I follow Asia to the car.
We stow our suitcases.
Wave one more time.
Drive off.
Asia groans. “I hate lying to them.”
“We didn’t lie. We just… withheld certain details.”
“That's called lying, Hansley.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Is there anything you’ve been withholding from me?”
I laugh. “Not that I can think of.”
She analyzes my face.
“Go ahead. Ask me anything.” I flick the indicator. “I'll be honest.”
“I heard you think Venus is hot?”
I cough. “Except that one.”
She laughs.
“There’s a difference between being honest and being too honest. I don’t want to sleep in the couch tonight.” My fingers release from the steering wheel and land on the stick shift, palm up.
Her hand settles on top of mine.
Flesh against flesh.
Palm against palm.
She slowly interlaces our fingers.
Slips her hand into the spaces between mine.
Filling me.
Fitting right into place.
“Spoken like someone who’s learned the hard way.” She smirks.
I brush my thumb over the back of her knuckles. “Have you called your mom back yet?”
“Can we not talk about that?” She throws her head back and squeezes her eyes shut. “Just thinking about explaining myself to my parents makes me want to throw up.”
“Think they’ll hate me?” I arch an eyebrow.
“It’s not that.” She huffs. “I spent my entire teenaged life swearing that I would never turn out like them. When other kids were reading Twilight, I was reading Proven Principles of A Healthy Marriage.”
“Weirdo,” I tease.
She swats at me. "The point is, I acted like I’d never make the same mistake they did.” She gestures to us. “And look at me. I’m coming home with a man I met in Vegas—”
“We met before that,” I remind her.
“Once.” Her eyes gleam with amusement. “You suggested we hook up to get over Thad.”
“Me? I would never.”
“My parents are going to rub my face in this forever and when we get divorced…” She shudders.
“So we don’t give them the chance.”
“What?” She blinks slowly.
I choose my words with care and lean back to appear casual. “What if we don’t end this?”
“What are you saying?”
“Since we’re already married,” I lift one shoulder, “we could stay married.”
Asia’s mouth forms a perfect ‘o’.
Silence falls in the car.
Lasts for one beat.
Two.
Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Why’s that funny?”
“I wonder if my dad proposed to my mom the same way.” She lowers her voice in a poor imitation of a masculine timbre. “‘Well, Renesha, we might as well get hitched since you’re already expecting.’” Her ponytail swings back and forth as she shakes her head. “That’s not a sufficient reason to stay married, Hansley. We already agreed to get divorced.” Her expression turns serious. “That hasn’t changed for me.”
Her words slice me straight in the heart.
Hurt seeps beneath my skin, but I don’t let it show.
Laughing along with her, I play it off. “Ridiculous, right?”
“So funny.”
I pull my hand away from hers.
The laughter dies an awkward death.
We both go quiet again.
Asia chews on her bottom lip the entire trip home.
When we leave the airport, I get a call from Brett.
“I scored a meeting with Jensen,” his voice booms with excitement. “He wants to meet us and our wives.”
“Perfect.”
“You mind coming to the office and looking over his contract? I’m hoping Tierra and Asia charm the pants off him and we can seal the deal without dragging this out.”
I glance over and find Asia texting on her phone. Nudging her to get her attention, I ask, “Brett needs me at the office. Is it okay if I take you to your place so you can pack and swing by to pick you up later?”
“Sure.” Her smile is brittle.
We’re still in a weird place. It’s my fault. I was testing to see if she was feeling as serious about me as I was feeling about her. And I failed.
Clearing my throat, I focus on the call. “Yeah, Brett. I’ll meet you there.”
After swinging by Asia’s neighborhood and dropping her off in front of a small apartment, I head to the office.
As soon as I walk in, I fling myself into Brett’s couch and drop my arm over my forehead.
Brett laughs. “What's up with you?”
“I think Asia and I are fighting.”
“You think?”
I sit up. “I don’t know.”
“Trust me. When a woman is upset, she’ll make sure you know.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “What did you do?”
Planting my feet on the floor, I sigh. “I suggested we stay married.”
“What?” Brett almost chokes on his coffee. “Seriously? You weren’t playing around?”
“Why the hell would I play around like that?”
“Whoa.” Brett sets his mug down.
“She thought I was joking too.”
“She’s being smart. You two are in the honeymoon stage. You’ve had, what, one night together and a full day of conversation? That’s hardly enough time to determine if this person is the one you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with.” He tilts his head back. “Aren’t you the man who told me to give it time when I just met Tierra?”
“And did you l
isten?”
He glances aside. “That’s not the point.”
“Right.” I frown. “Give me the contract. I want to get this over with so I can get back to Asia before she starts drafting divorce papers.”
Brett smirks.
We work on the contract together, going over the details and hammering in what we’re willing to compromise on when we meet with Jensen. We’re winding down and going over the contract one last time when his landline rings.
Brett picks up.
Listens.
His eyebrows hike. “Really?” Lifting his dark grey eyes, he nods at me. “Hansley, someone’s here to see you?”
“Who?” I stiffen, wondering if Asia’s parents have stormed the building to defend their daughter’s honor.
“Svena.”
Ice crawls through my veins, pulling my body so tight it’ll shatter.
Svena?
What the hell is she doing here?
Unease winds around my neck, choking the breath out of my lungs. I want to turn her away, but something tells me I should see her.
Svena never struck me as the type to cling. If she’s here now, it’s something important.
Brett hangs up and stares at me. “What’s going on? Isn’t Svena the girl you were—”
“Yes.” I rake my fingers through my hair.
“I thought you wrapped things up with her?”
I head to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hansley!”
I ignore Brett and stalk down the hall to my office. Svena’s waiting for me in the sofa. Her platinum blonde hair shimmers in the evening sunlight. Icy blue eyes take me in.
She’s perched on the edge of her chair. Pale legs that seem to go on forever jut under her skirt.
I remember her locking those long legs around me, but the image fades. Replaced with one of Asia, my fingers around her thighs, her mouth open in a choked gasp as I ram into her.
My fingers twitch. I play it cool. “Svena.”
“Hello, Hansley.”
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about. I was very clear—”
“The two lines on the test were clear too.”
“What?” I freeze.
She stands. Pins me under her frozen stare. “I’m pregnant.”
