Isabella and her boyfriend seemed nice. Bree didn’t know if Evangeline would ever warm up to her. And Gavin? Well, she figured he would keep everyone at a distance.
“Erik has been very nice,” she assured Gavin.
He gave her a noncommittal shrug and disappeared down the hall.
She turned back to Erik. He seemed dumbstruck, but when their eyes met, she watched shadows take over. In an instant, a wall went up between them, and she had no idea how to tear it down. Her beast urged her to go to him, to show him that she would always be there.
But she didn’t know that. Bree felt weightless, like a soft breeze would come along and carry her far away at any moment. She could think of nothing steady and reliable right now. As the winds tugged her this way and that, only her beast would remain.
The creature inside her growled and reminded her that she wasn’t alone. This was a family, and she could belong to it if she wanted. Bree wasn’t sure they had room for her, though. When Isabella called that dinner was ready, only a handful of people showed up. Casey came to whisk food away to his girlfriend. Gavin didn’t show his face.
Bree took one bite and couldn’t believe the others had refused to join them. She’d had mac and cheese before, but this was bliss on a spoon—or a fork, in her case. She quickly devoured several more mouthfuls before she remembered her manners and regained control. Isabella wore a look of pride, and so did Dillon, but his pride was aimed toward Isabella.
The way that man loved Isabella surprised Bree. She’d never seen a couple so unabashedly happy together. The couple at the bar the other night had been prickly with tension. The wife had looked at Bree like a competitor.
Underneath the table, Erik’s knee brushed hers. She found him attempting to subtly watch her. She couldn’t stop her grin. Her cheeks warmed, but pleasantly, like she’d had a beer or two.
“This is weird,” Dillon said. He set his bowl down and took in the people at the table.
Bree opened her mouth to apologize and excuse herself, afraid that she was an interloper in their life, but then Dillon went on.
“When did we become the kind of people to sit down together for meals?”
Isabella leaned back with her bowl in hand. “When you mated a pregnant woman with nesting tendencies.”
Mated? There was another word Bree had no definition for. She’d heard it used in reference to animals, but never to people. Among these dragon shifters, it must have a meaning special to them, but Bree didn’t know how to ask.
Once more, she stole a glance at Erik and found him watching her. Her heart thudded. She tried to find him under the table again, but he seemed out of reach. The need to touch him grew stronger and stronger by the moment. She found that the food in her bowl no longer appealed to her. Not when she needed to touch Erik.
Unable to withstand it any longer, she reached across the table to touch his hand. He jerked upright. The conversation that’d been going on came to a halt. Bree could feel eyes on her, but their attention faded into the background as Erik wound his fingers with hers.
A knot in her chest eased. She let out a breath and sucked in another, letting it fill the spaces that’d been cramped.
What was that? Why did she need to be touched?
The beast grumbled inside her, not quite giving her an answer. Though the beast had been born knowing everything it should, it didn’t share that information so freely with Bree. Every moment was a learning experience now. She understood so little in this new life. She took every step forward in the dark.
At least, she wasn’t alone.
Then, Dillon stood. He motioned to Erik to follow as he left the room.
Erik’s hand slipped from hers and left her bereft. She swallowed the feeling and kept her eyes on the table so he wouldn’t see how lost she was.
* * *
Erik didn’t want to leave Bree, but he had enough respect for Dillon to know that whatever he wanted to say was worth hearing. Erik let his hand trail across Bree’s shoulders, not just because he could tell she craved touch, but because he needed to touch her, too.
She made no move to respond. She didn’t even look at him as he left.
Erik told himself that was because it wasn’t him that she needed. It didn’t matter who supported Bree, so long as she got it. While Erik wanted to be the one to hold her, he didn’t know if that was what she would always want. At some point, she would leave him behind.
He didn’t like the thought, but he couldn’t ignore the probability. He needed to prepare to go back to being everyone’s charity case. He would be Dillon’s burden. Gavin’s mess.
When Bree looked at him, he didn’t see repulsion or condescension in her eyes. She showed him awe. She made him feel like he had his shit together for once.
Dillon led Erik outside, because if they said anything in the halls or bedrooms, Bree would surely hear. That was how Erik knew Dillon was about to wound him.
“Did you change her because you think she could be your mate?”
Erik almost staggered. He hadn’t expected those words from Dillon. He’d been prepared to listen to a lecture on responsibility or even answer a few questions about his second beast. To be asked if Bree was his mate…
Erik shrugged. “The only thing I know for sure is that I’d do anything for her right now.”
The truth left him so easily. He’d never been so open about anything in his life, but Dillon made it easy. Dillon had been there for Erik. Every difficult night spent outside, Dillon stood nearby. He’d stopped Erik’s monstrous beast from destroying the cabin more than once.
Erik stared at the white scar on Dillon’s neck from the last time the green dragon had escaped him. If Erik couldn’t contain the beast, then Dillon would end up with more scars. And if he mated Bree, she would be the one closest to him when the beast struck.
“She diffused a fight earlier,” Erik confessed. “I had her shift, then the green beast decided he wanted to come out and play. Just when I thought I’d lost the fight, she bit me. Same place I bit her, too.”
Dillon huffed. He clapped Erik on the back and said, “She’s going to keep you in check.”
Erik didn’t want to put that burden on her, though. Bree didn’t have to babysit him. No one should have to babysit him, especially not a woman he could fall for. Erik didn’t want to put that responsibility on her and watch her grow further and further from him.
So, he said nothing to Dillon. He gave his friend a thin-lipped smile and ducked back inside.
As badly as Erik wanted to hold Bree, he kept his distance from her. He watched as she got to know Dillon and Isabella. She helped them think up names for baby Bel. New ones got added to the list. Some old ones were struck from the list.
He couldn’t tell if Isabella and Dillon were easy to get along with, or if Bree fit into their weird family. Erik never thought he would have the chance to belong to a clan that wanted him. Zander had been looking for ways to get rid of him for two decades now. Erik never expected to make it past his twenty seventh birthday.
Now, he would give his life for these assholes. He watched Bree laugh and smile at something Isabella said. An unfamiliar comfort washed over him. His muscles relaxed, one by one, until he became as languid as a cat. Every ounce of stiffness that he’d worked so hard to cover over the years, all vanished.
When the night grew late, he followed Bree back to his bedroom, watching the sway of her hips in his sweatpants and trying to stop the growth of his cock. Anticipation hit him, made his blood run hot, as the door closed behind them.
Erik ran his hand through his hair. “That went better than expected. I knew Evangeline would be mad, but I didn’t expect Gavin’s response.”
Bree let herself fall onto his bed. He tried not to look at her, but he couldn’t help himself. Her dark hair framed her heart-shaped face. He wanted to push that dark veil aside and bite the curve of her neck. She wouldn’t want him crawling all over her, though.
He’d changed her. That would always
hang between them. Every time she remembered how he’d messed up her life, her grudge against him would grow deeper and deeper. He would never be able to have Bree the way he wanted.
The way he yearned.
“You’re welcome to sleep here tonight,” Erik offered, hoping she would take him up on the offer and leave her scent on his sheets. “But if you want a ride home, I’m sure I could arrange something with Casey.”
She nodded, though he wasn’t convinced she’d been paying attention. She leaned back on his bed as if she owned it. He wanted to climb up next to her and curl around her body to see if she fit into him like he thought, but he held himself back. He would never be good enough for her.
Perhaps she would learn to be a great dragon and end up mating Gavin. She certainly had the spunk to be the clan leader’s mate, but the thought of her and Gavin together filled Erik’s chest with flames. He swallowed loudly, trying to hold back the fire of two angry beasts.
“What if…what if I don’t want to go home?” she asked softly.
The fire in Erik’s throat guttered. He nearly stumbled toward her but managed to hold his ground.
“I don’t want to go back to being alone and confused. When I’m here, I don’t feel like I’m on a bad acid trip. What I’ve become…it’s real here. I don’t want to go back to doubt and fear and…”
Erik could no longer hold himself back. He knelt on the floor in front of her. Words that were heavy and filled with regret coated the tip of his tongue.
She gave him a wry smile. “Save your apologies. I’m not processing anything right now.”
He nodded, unsure if he could stomach the words he’d wanted to say anyway. If she knew just how horrible and broken he was, she wouldn’t sit on his bed. She wouldn’t share that secret smile with him. He wouldn’t have her.
Erik had never meant to change her, but a part of him wasn’t mad that he had. He knew it was selfish, to want to hold onto the woman he’d forced into this life. He could apologize for what he’d done and try to ease her discomfort on another day. For now, he would savor her presence.
She scrubbed her face with her hands. “I’ll have to call work again. If I still have a job tomorrow, I’ll know that some higher power is looking out for my dumb ass.”
“You’re not the dumbass in this room,” Erik said.
This brought a laugh out of her. It was sweeter than any dessert he’d ever tasted. Though he didn’t know if he should, he rested his head against her knee. Her hand found his hair. He thought she might rip him away and shove him aside. Instead, she gently massaged his scalp with her fingernails until he purred like a cat.
“Oh, that’s new. Can all dragon shifters do that?”
He rubbed his cheek against her knee. “Not sure. I didn’t even know I could do it.”
Her hand left his hair to travel along his back. The urge to rise and push her back onto the bed nearly overcame him. His green dragon growled in the back of his mind. It urged him to pin her down, to show her just what Erik could offer her. The blue dragon had similar thoughts, only gentler.
Erik couldn’t decide if he’d changed Bree by accident, or if a part of him had wanted to keep her. He’d never paid much attention to her before the bite. They’d seen each other nearly every day, but he’d let more aggressively flirtatious women sway his attention.
He’d been missing out. Bree had been right in front of him the whole time. She had enough sass and strength to keep him on his toes for the rest of his life.
Then reality came crashing back in. He didn’t have to just worry about his monstrous beast. There was a war at hand. Zander hated that Gavin had founded his own clan with the misfits sent to wrangle him. They all knew Zander would stop at nothing to wipe them off the face of this earth.
Erik had brought Bree into this war. He couldn’t ask her to leave like Casey and Dillon had done to their mates. She couldn’t just sit this one out. Zander would hunt her down and kill her just for being Erik’s mistake.
Or worse, Zander would take her into his clan.
Erik made the vow that neither would happen. Even if Bree grew tired of him, he would keep her safe during this war.
“Can I sleep here tonight?” Bree asked, breaking the silence.
“I thought we already confirmed that you were staying,” he mumbled into her leg.
She gripped his hair and tugged his head back. His heart skipped a beat.
“I want to sleep here, beside you.”
She didn’t ask. She declared.
“Whatever you wish,” he said.
39
Bree knew this wouldn’t last. She savored Erik’s warmth and the way she fit into his chest, but she’d never seen him with the same woman twice. If she gave in to her desires, then he would take what he wanted and leave. So long as she held out, she thought he might stick around. If she could keep him chasing her, then she would have him.
Every selfish thought filled her with another bit of shame, but her beast’s happiness overrode it. The creature couldn’t have been more pleased.
No, that wasn’t true. It wanted every bit of Erik. The beast wanted her to kiss his neck and put her hands between his legs until he woke. The beast’s desires kept her awake when she should have been asleep.
“I’m never going to be able to sleep if you don’t stop wriggling,” Erik mumbled.
She froze. “You’ve been awake this whole time?”
“I’m holding a ten in my arms right now. Did you really expect me to sleep?” His breath warmed the back of her neck.
“I could sleep somewhere else…wait, a ten? That’s it. Those sunglasses must be prescription. You can’t see anything with them off.” She held back the urge to wiggle her bum into his groin.
“As a dragon shifter, I have amazing eyesight. Just because I’ve slept with a lot of sixes and sevens doesn’t mean I can’t recognize a ten when I find one.”
She snorted. “If you’ve always thought I was a ten, then why didn’t you ask me out?”
“Do you really think I have any chance with a ten? I’m a solid two.” He tightened his grip around her waist like she might run away now that he’d revealed himself to be undesirable.
Which she totally didn’t believe. “I had a crush on you for a while,” she confessed. It was all too easy to let out her secrets in the dark. “I waited for you to ask me to go home with you. I waited for any bit of attention you wanted to throw my way. I’d convinced myself we would be perfect for each other. That’s why I followed you the other day. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“You’re going to find out that I don’t deserve you,” he said.
“Oh, I already know that. You bit me and changed me. Remember?” She kept her tone light and playful because she still didn’t care. She kept waiting for reality to hit her, but since Erik had shown up on her doorstep with answers, she’d stopped fretting.
He pressed his forehead to her spine like he could hide from her while wrapped around her.
“I’m going to call work tomorrow to make sure I still have my job, but can you take me back out to the field again? Either I have the worst case of indigestion of my life or there’s fire in me that needs to get out.” She diverted the conversation even though his confession still had her heart racing.
“There’s nothing I would rather do,” he whispered.
Bree nestled into him, trying to reassure him with her body that she wasn’t mad. She had the feeling that he wore guilt like a badge, and that if he didn’t show others that he was guilty then he wouldn’t be himself anymore. She wanted to wrestle it from him and toss it aside so she could meet the man waiting beneath that mask.
She had time. Now that she was a dragon shifter, she would need Erik’s guidance more than ever. His family was nice, too. She would figure out how to make amends with Evangeline if it was the last thing she did.
* * *
Bree rolled her shoulders. Dressed in her own clothing again, she found that the world had re
turned to normal. She missed the bit of altered time and space from the night before, but the world wouldn’t stop spinning for anyone.
They’d returned to the field from the day before. Instead of flying, Dillon had dropped them off at Erik’s truck. While Erik drove into the country, she’d called the bar and explained that she’d been dealing with some personal issues that’d kept her from reaching out to them. Her vague story did the trick. She wasn’t fired, but it was clear that she would be watched closely for the next few days.
Which meant that she had three hours to train. The thought of learning everything it meant to be a dragon shifter should have been exhausting, but she couldn’t help her excitement.
The sun hid behind a cover of clouds. Erik promised her that days like these were perfect for flying because she would be able to rise above them to bask in the light, but she knew flying was a long way away. She could jump off a mountain, like a bird leaping from a tree, but that might be a bit too conspicuous.
“All dragons have some sort of fire,” Erik said. He paused, leaned back, and a bit of smoke poured from his nose.
When his lips formed an O, he blew out a series of smoke rings like he’d taken a hit from a pipe.
“Show off,” Bree muttered under her breath.
Erik ignored her insult and turned a triumphant grin toward her. She shook her head, but still laughed.
“Teach me something useful,” she said. “Not a party trick.”
“Come on. You can’t tell me that wasn’t cool. It’s the perfect example of control and will probably charm your bar patrons into giving you loads of tips.” He winked.
“I don’t need loads of tips. I need to keep myself from turning every liquor bottle into a Molotov.”
He shuddered. “Had an incident with those a few weeks back. I get what you’re trying to say.”
Bree cocked her head. It occurred to her that the cabin she’d left that morning had been the one that burned two months ago. She’d been asleep when they’d arrived, so she hadn’t noticed then.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 32
