52
Ford contemplated his apartment. He wouldn’t have much to pack up if he had to leave. The desire to hit the road sat in the back of his mind, always there. It told him to run and keep running so that no one would ever find out what he’d done. It told him to never make connections with anyone, so he would never have to endure torment like that again.
A stack of stained and altogether ragged-looking notebooks sat in the center of his kitchen table, though. They anchored him to this small town. He’d started in the kitchen as a dishwasher and, through hard work, risen to the head cook. He wasn’t a chef by any means, but working with food, fire, and knives eased the wild thing inside him that still wanted blood.
He had an appointment with a butcher next week to learn how to break down meat on his own. He couldn’t just up and leave, but the dragon woman from the airport made him want to run.
She also made him want to stay.
Her scent begged him to lay down roots again, to fall into her like she was a summer garden begging for bees.
Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t a damned poet. These thoughts weren’t his own. Loneliness had finally gone and driven him crazy.
Because, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he craved seeing her again. He hoped she beat down the kitchen door to find him. Her absolute disregard for rules drove him wild. Would she be so brazen if he got her alone? Not in some wretched alley way, but in the dark of his car or under the starlit sky?
There he went again, trying to be some romantic writer. Ford let his head fall against the tabletop. The dishes at the other end rattled nervously. He spared a glance at them to make sure they wouldn’t tumble off the surface any time soon. They were a safe distance from the edge of the table. So, he banged his head again and again, hoping it would dislodge the desire to hunt that woman down.
He would never have another mate. That wasn’t how fate worked for dragons. He’d loved a woman with all his heart once. If he fell for this new woman and had to watch her fated mate come and steal her away, he would want to fight for her. His beast couldn’t afford to lose another lover.
To keep himself from running out the door, he opened one of his well-worn notebooks and started devising the meal he would cook for her if he courted her. Ford rolled his eyes at himself. His wife would have called him a tender-hearted man, though he knew he was anything but.
* * *
Daphne struggled to pull herself out of bed. Work called, but she wanted nothing to do with it. The sound of voices and kitchen clatter drifted into her bedroom. It snuck under the door like a noisy invader, keeping her from getting that last little bit of shuteye. She wanted a few extra hours of sleep, strawberry shortcake, and a foot massage. Since none of those were readily available, she took the hottest shower she could manage.
Evangeline showed up late. Daphne tried to hide her irritation, but it slipped out every now and then during the interview process until Evangeline finally snapped.
“Why do you need to ask me all these questions? We already know what’s going to happen.”
Daphne bit the inside of her cheek. Her beast gnashed its teeth, but Daphne managed to hide its burgeoning wrath. “You are my brother’s one and only mate. I want to make sure that this process isn’t going to kill you.”
Evangeline narrowed her eyes. “Like that’s so hard? Bree slept for a day. I wouldn’t mind a day’s worth of sleep.”
Me either, Daphne thought.
Bree wasn’t present to offer her insight, but Daphne had learned from Bree herself that she’d come close to dying. If Evangeline didn’t have the force of will to hold out as her body broke down and changed, then she could die. Daphne wanted to explain that being sassy wasn’t the same as having willpower, but she wasn’t about to insult the woman she would be training soon.
Daphne’s mind wandered. She imagined the small town down the mountain and the little restaurant where she’d found the man who’d left her high and dry at the airport. In her mind, she ran her hand over his bicep and counted the dark freckles on his arms. She wished she had a peach mimosa in the other hand, too.
“Please just bear with me,” Daphne said. “I’m being extra careful because I want to make sure this goes smoothly. There’s no reason to rush this.”
Evangeline cocked her head, as if perplexed. Daphne ignored the expression and asked another round of questions. Evangeline seemed well suited for the life of a dragon shifter. Daphne could tell that Evangeline had emotional scar tissue that would protect her. The woman had endured a lot.
According to Casey, Evangeline’s ex-boyfriend had set the cabin on fire in a fit of rage. If this woman could live through a man who acted like that, then surely, she could live through the change. Evangeline wasn’t happy when Daphne told her that they wouldn’t go through with it today, though.
Daphne needed to settle in, which really meant that she didn’t want to be put on babysitting duty right away. The beer that Erik brought her wasn’t enough to slake the exhaustion trying to take hold of her.
Later, when she sat at the picnic table on the ledge over the cabin with Casey, her mind tumbled from one subject to another. From Zander, to Evangeline, to the mystery man in town. Thoughts of the mystery man made her heart flutter, but no matter how hard she tried to hold onto that feeling, her stomach sank. Zander’s phone call crept back into her mind and left her unsettled.
“Why did you leave?” she asked, her voice soft and quiet.
Casey groaned, like a heavy weight had settled on his shoulders. She stole a look at her brother. They’d spent their lives together, nigh inseparable since her birth. The only person who’d ever stolen him away from her had been Gavin. She understood that part of why Casey left could be blamed on Gavin and the fight he had with his mate, but spats between mates never lasted quite this long.
Something else was going on, and she had the feeling that she’d been dragged into it.
“We didn’t leave,” Casey said. He took a long swig of his beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing with every consecutive gulp. The bottle was empty when he set it down. “We were sent to retrieve Gavin. Not long afterward, Zander betrayed us.”
“I get that he runs a strict clan. I don’t think Zander betrayed you. Maybe you and the others misinterpreted his commands,” Daphne said.
Her older brother pinned her with a dismissive look. She straightened her spine, refusing to be shut down. She’d worked damn hard to keep men from doing such things. Her place in the clan had been earned through hard work and sacrifice, and she’d be damned if her brother wouldn’t respect her.
“Zander gave us a deadline. We had to bring Gavin back by the predetermined date. The repercussions weren’t clearly defined until Zander decided to move that deadline. Again, and again, until finally Zander decided that we’d defected and declared war on us. What were we going to do when he kept changing the rules?”
Daphne ran her hand through her hair. She wanted to believe in her clan leader. While she and Zander had never been close, he’d kept their clan safe for decades. She refused to believe that he would abandon Casey like that. Or Dillon.
Erik made sense, or she thought so until she saw how Erik had changed since leaving. His sharp tongue hadn’t dulled, but the edge that he seemed to stand on all the time had vanished, leaving him apparently stable for the first time.
The others had flourished as well. She hadn’t caught up with Gavin yet, but Casey beamed when Evangeline was around. Around Isabella, Dillon stopped being a brick wall and turned into a man with surprisingly sharp wit. Bree had worked some sort of dark magic on Erik.
Daphne wondered if she would ever find the same kind of love, or if she would be doomed to taking care of one mess after another for the rest of her life. Every day was another shifter incapable of handling their beast. Every day was another demand from Zander. Another request from her brother.
“Fuck,” she said under her breath. I need a vacation.
Instead, s
he said, “Don’t drag me into your conflict. I have it good right now. If I lose my place in Zander’s clan, then I lose everything I’ve built.”
Casey’s jaw tensed.
Her jaw dropped. “Did you think I would come over here and lay down everything to participate in your squabble?”
His expression softened. “I just want to know you’re safe.”
“Of course, I’m safe. I’m a dragon shifter.” She chugged down the last of her beer and chucked the glass bottle into a bin under the ledge.
The satisfying clang of the glass in the metal bin eased a knot in her chest. She couldn’t sit around and watch all the happy couples. They made her want to stay and try to find that kind of love for herself. With her luck, she’d end up with the kind of mate who demanded she be a housewife. Plenty of the women in Zander’s clan had ended up with the same fate.
Daphne tucked her yearning away, like she had for years, and told Casey that she was going to borrow his truck. She didn’t wait for a response. This cabin full of happy shifters thinking they were in the middle of a war confused her. She couldn’t stand another moment where the world seemed skewed.
The truck purred down the winding roads, feeling like an unwieldy beast. She’d tamed more difficult monsters. This truck wouldn’t get the best of her either. It led her back to the restaurant, just like she wanted. Getting out, she beeped the key fob to lock it and gave it a pat on the nose like she might with a horse.
The mystery man’s scent lingered inside the restaurant. The lights had been dimmed for the dinner service. She found a seat at the end of the bar, in full view of the kitchen door, and hoped that he was still around. Her mind spun from everything she’d learned, from everything she still had to do, and all she wanted was a short reprieve. Mystery man might prove to be a good distraction.
Twenty minutes later, Daphne considered giving up. Doubt made her feel like a stalker. She never should have tried to track him down again.
“You again?” he muttered.
His voice felt like fingertips dancing down her spine. She let out a laugh as she shuddered. When she turned toward him, he wore a mask of indifference, but she could see the faint glimmer of his beast in his eyes. Her own reached the surface of her being and watched him with curiosity.
“I told you I can’t be recruited for your little spat,” he growled as he passed by to put something behind the bar.
“I’m not part of the fight,” Daphne said. She shrugged. “That’s kind of why I left tonight. I didn’t want to listen to my brother try to get me on his side, either.”
The man huffed, a sound that could have been laughter. It could have been indifference, too. He refused to open up to her. She would have said anyone, but as the bartender made a passing joke, his face lit up, and he let out a real laugh.
Daphne would have lied if she said jealousy didn’t roll over her like a road-roller in that moment. She shoved it back down and reminded herself that she hadn’t come here to find a mate. Love wasn’t on her to-do list. Especially not when there was a shifter in need of help and another preparing to become a shifter.
While she was distracted by her jealousy, the mystery man vanished once more. She hailed down the bartender to ask for another drink and inquire about his name so she could stop calling him mystery man. The bartender raised a brow but obliged and claimed that Ford could loosen up a little.
“If you know what I mean,” the bartender said with a wink.
Daphne would be a liar if she said her cheeks didn’t warm. Her beast retreated, pleased to know that the bartender hadn’t been the one to help Ford loosen up. Daphne took hold of her jealousy and punted it as far as she could send it. She imagined it flying over the treetops and slapping her brother in the face.
The thought gave her a laugh as she finished off her cranberry vodka and waited for Ford to make another appearance. Unfortunately, she found herself several drinks in and still sitting at the bar when the bartender flipped the open sign to closed.
Daphne paid her tab and removed herself. Outside, the night sky glittered with a thousand tiny diamonds. She pulled her denim jacket tighter around herself and stared up at the endless expanse above. The quiet did nothing to calm her, though. Her mind still tumbled.
Ever since she’d landed, the world had seemed tilted. She walked a fine line between staying upright and tumbling into an abyss. She shuddered to think of what awaited her there. Probably everything she’d put off for last seven years. Falling wasn’t an option.
“I thought you would be out here,” Ford grumbled.
Daphne didn’t take her eyes off the sky. “I’ll get out of your hair soon. Things are…uncertain right now. I just needed a minute to gather myself.”
He tugged at the tie holding his hair back before ruffling it. Mahogany strands fell to frame his face. Her heart thumped once before she tore her gaze away. His thick arms rippled with muscle as he moved. The thin t-shirt over his chest struggled to contain his bulky physique.
“You look like you could throw me in bed, ravage me until I can’t walk, and make me dinner after,” she found herself saying.
“I’m not looking for the mate experience again,” he said, though she caught the flare of light in his eyes.
She shrugged. “I didn’t say I wanted it either. One night is enough to let out some pent-up frustration. Right?”
“One night leads to a week, that leads to a month. Next thing I know, you’ve put your toothbrush next to mine, and I can’t get you to leave.” He shook his head. “Never again.”
She didn’t push the subject. Though she’d meant it more like a friendly joke, his aversion to the idea of being with anyone was more than evident.
“I have to change my brother’s mate tomorrow.” She dug her nails into her denim jacket. “I’ve helped dozens of new shifters acclimate to their lives, but I’ve never changed anyone before. What if…what if she doesn’t…”
Ford made a pained sound. Her attention snapped back to him. His lips were twisted in a grimace, his eyes distant like he was reliving a terrible past.
She never should have brought it up. This was her burden to bear. No one else had to deal with any of this. It was selfish to think that she could force someone into shouldering this with her.
“Sorry I brought it up,” she muttered.
He blew a breath out his nose. Smoke curled in the air around him. He rolled his shoulders before giving in to a full body shake.
“No worries,” he said finally. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on one person’s shoulders. Which one is your brother? I know the one shifter changed the bartender from up the street, so it can’t be him.”
“Casey. Big lumberjack looking guy. He started a home construction business here.”
Ford laughed. “The one that hooked up with the tattoo artist from The Grumpy Sailor? Oh, she’s going to be fine. She’s a spitfire. You wouldn’t believe the stories the locals tell about her.”
Daphne wasn’t sure. Just because Evangeline seemed stable and strong didn’t mean that couldn’t change after Daphne bit her.
She trudged across the street and lowered the tailgate on her brother’s truck before lifting herself up onto it. The alcohol singing through her veins would fade in a little while. Better to stay and wait it out than attempt to drive now. She didn’t think Ford would follow. He’d just gotten off what had to have been a long shift in the kitchen. Yet, he joined her, nonetheless.
“I’m sure everything is going to be fine,” he said.
She couldn’t find the truth in his words, like he wasn’t truly convinced things really would be fine. He kept a distance between them. She wished he would step up to stand between her legs so she could hug him and breathe his scent, but that was a lot to ask of a man she’d only just met.
“Why you?”
His question took her by surprise. With the alcohol still softening her thoughts, she tilted her head and stared at him in confusion. He didn’t move to sit beside her
or even come any closer, but there was a softness in his expression that she didn’t expect.
“Why do you have to change the woman? Why can’t your brother do it? You seem stretched thin right now.” Alone, in the dark, Ford dropped his barriers to deliver a question that shattered her own.
Daphne sighed and tried to suck in another breath, but it did nothing to help her answer. Finally, she said, “That’s what everyone expects me to do. I’m the shifter that has everything together. Shifters look to me and see a woman who has never had a battle with her beast. They think I have absolute control and that I can teach others how to do the same. I went with it because that meant I got a position of power. Now, I’m wondering if I just made my life harder for myself.”
“So, you…change people? I thought you said you didn’t do that.”
She shook her head. “I’m in charge of new shifters. People who come to our clan after they were changed elsewhere, either by accident or lovers who didn’t stay. My job is to help them adjust so they can be of value to the clan.”
“That sounds like a lot of pressure on your shoulders.”
He wasn’t wrong. Daphne could never escape the constant expectations of her duty. Though she and her beast were on good terms, there were days when they butted heads. She could never let it show, though. She had to keep every internal conflict under wraps, so no one saw that she was just like everyone else.
“If you’re this strung out about it, you could refuse the job,” Ford said.
Daphne snorted. “This is one job I cannot back out of. This is my brother we’re talking about. Family comes first, right?”
“Not if they’re willing to sacrifice your health for the sake of their own desires.” Ford laid down wisdom like it was common knowledge.
The best Daphne could do was shrug it off. She didn’t have a choice now. Not this far in. Evangeline wanted to be changed, that much was very clear. If Daphne said no now, then Casey would still go through with it, and Daphne wouldn’t be there to make sure it went well. Daphne had to protect her brother and his mate.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 42
